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水晶宮

積分: 60417


發表於 04-3-30 22:19 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

before i got pregnant, my mother already refused to take care of my children. she said that she had had enough for us and it's time she enjoy life. so i hire a maid to take care of my baby.

for my mother-in-law, she will sometimes help us look after the bb. however, she used her own old methods which really not very good to the baby. e.g. she always holds the bb in hands that the bb always want me to do this also or he will cry. she seldom change the bb's diaper that makes the bb has rash on his patpat. she likes baby powder more than vaseliine for his patpat. she gives bb too much clothes always fearing that he'll get cold. i once tell my mother-in-law not to do this and that but my hubby complained me being too harsh for her mother since she sacrifice her own time to take care of the baby. so, it is better to rely on maid while mothers or mother-in-law serve as a supervisor of the maid for you.


公爵府

積分: 29293


發表於 04-3-31 12:56 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

原本我亞媽話想陪月, 我都有打算俾返錢佢同由佢, 話晒佢都會辛苦, 但佢講的價錢實在有點過太. 同埋真係要跟佢的那套, 實會多爭辯, 現在我唔理佢, 照每月俾家用, 但亞B就由陪月湊. 雖然唔知好唔好, 但起碼我可以輕鬆, 唔駛受氣.

見到你們的message, 先知原來唔只我亞媽係極品. 因為之前攪結婚已經令敎了, 怕怕. 亞媽佢成日話我乜都聽老公話, 唔識自己揸主意, 但其實我自己本身都唔係咁想亞媽湊. 所以先推落我老公到.


複式洋房

積分: 242


發表於 04-4-1 14:01 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

我媽媽都係極品, 我大肚咁耐, 一啖湯都唔會煲俾我.
反而奶奶好好多.
有時就係咁奇怪.
唔好怪佢囉, 哂gas!
睇住自己身體~~


大宅

積分: 1109


發表於 04-4-2 09:36 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

I had the same situation when I had my son 3 years ago.Mine did not ask for money, and she offered herself to come over and take care of us. Unforunately, my son was a very tough one to take care of. He cried thru the night for two and a half month. Every one in the house did not have any sleep. We had a helper who did not get up and help in the middle of the night. My mom did not get up either...............just to make a very long short, we ended up with a even worse relationship, we did not have a good one in the beginning anyway.

Now I was being accused of asking her to come over and take care of my baby and I, and I have no appreciation of what she did. She was the most hard working one durng the period.
I had a serious depression; and I know a very large part of it was from her.

Anyway, if your mom is NOT offering you to take care of the baby in a sincere way, please forget it. I know it is going to drive you crazy especialy when you are going to be so vulnerable later.

Everything has to be her way, she think she know everything, but do not forget everything she know was from 30 years ago, and she has not been taken care of one since then. You know they were not asked to pat the baby's back after drinking milk to get the air out. And if they are not updated, then she is not going to listen to you. Getting outside help is a lot better idea since you have to pay anyway.



複式洋房

積分: 417


發表於 04-4-3 05:36 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

我想問吓妳媽媽係唔係無點讀過書? 因為我覺得上一代無受過教育的通常都係錢行頭. 佢哋由細到大都要擔心生活費, 所以咩事都只會諗到錢先, 相信係細細個培養出嚟嘅性格, 有錢先會有安全. 呢d想法妳都唔可以怪佢哋, 呢d係舊時社會嘅錯, 做仔女要盡量體量吓.
請入嚟跟進囡囡生活點滴啦http://www.babyhome.com.tw/bb/193501




男爵府

積分: 5238

畀面勳章


發表於 04-4-3 06:47 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

The bad situation of you and your mother was building up for a long time, since a certain problem has happened which you might not know too.

Every body's situation is not the same, some families are suffering economic trouble, but some are rich with nothing worry about.

I think you should make sure on what kind of problem in your mother side? (Are your parents still on jobs or retired?) It is very important to know or worry their jobs at the first place. Your mother might need more income, if your parents have lost jobs or retired.

Me and my wife retired from the American factories a few years ago. Of course, our incomes are not quite enough at nowaday. We need to come back to HongKong every 6 months, taking care our children-in-law for our daughter and daughter-in-law, and bring back many children clothes every time. We can keep very good relationship with our daughter's families.

Your mother is bringing too much for you, certainly it is not necessary if she is not suffering bad economy. You should ask her about her economic situation, and parents' jobs etc..

I think she is not meaning care to get how much from on the duty with you. She might be showing you a hint of her economy of some tight. Since you said that both you and mother have seldom talking, so your mother expresses promptly and shortly, that is showing her economic problem. How many families in Hong Kong are suffering this same problem now? Do you know? I want you try to hear more detail from your mom, that can help you improve the relationship become better than before. Don't just only seeing on money! Keep better relationship is more important.


:-P
你要身體好、記得時時要飲水、不一定等到等到口渴嘅!


子爵府

積分: 12983

好媽媽勳章 醒目開學勳章 睛靈勳章


發表於 04-4-4 12:03 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

其實父母一定錫自己仔女嫁,好似我咁,我大肚果陣因為媽媽個男朋友生安白做左一件事(我媽媽同爸爸離左婚而我同爸爸關係又唔好,個感覺好似自己變左孤兒)令我同媽媽關係破裂,我同老公比我媽媽勒令3日內搬走(果陣我同老公都冇乜積蓄,因為老公做整電果d師傅,果陣經濟唔好,唔係成日接到工程,好彩奶奶借左幾萬蚊比我地搬屋同買傢俬電器),搬走果陣我好嬲,仲同我媽媽講話就算乞食都唔會乞響佢門口,而媽媽亦講話當佢冇生過我,我真係當堂喊左出黎(個衰男人仲響側邊叫我x街死,鬼唔望我生舊叉燒,我老公爭d郁手打佢,我同老公講話老爺做警察嫁,唔好因為呢d小人攪到老爺冇面,老公先冷靜d咋,你地知啦警察屋企人犯錯,人地會話佢唔識教仔冇家教嘛),果晚我daddy即刻打電話比我(佢地果陣分緊居,我daddy嬲我同媽媽住,成年冇搵過我)問我有咩幫手,我開始知道我果個脾氣好臭既daddy真係關心我而唔係好似我一直咁諗佢好憎我,我開始同daddy關係好轉,佢仲幫我煲薑醋,其間有一次我響屋企附近見到媽媽,大家都形同陌路人咁,到我生左之後一個月到,我daddy同媽媽正式響家事法庭離婚,我同女女都有去,我媽媽放低左佢既尊嚴,走埋我身邊問我身體點,我果一刻已經心軟,到大約2個月後到,我同媽媽個契女傾電話先知原來我媽媽一路都有問起我,成日問佢契女我點,佢契女問佢點解唔親自問我,佢話我大肚,唔想激嬲我,驚我眼淺,又驚我動胎氣,仲叫佢契女千萬唔好提起佢,我聽完之後好感動好後悔當初因為一個賤男人而講句咁既野,雖然我媽媽仲有同個賤人一齊,但我亦好尊重我媽媽既選擇,只要佢開心就可以,雖然媽媽冇幫我湊女,但佢成日都買野比女女同我,今年新年果陣我同佢食飯,佢仲買衫比我同女女,佢仲當我係好細個,好似以前新年咁買衫比我,有時佢同我出街又無端端比錢我話比女女買野食(一比比成千,佢自己一個月都係搵6000-7000,仲要照顧我讀緊f.2既細佬),我同佢講話唔要,我老公而家接到工程開足工,個個月都夠用有錢儲,叫佢留番d錢,但係每次佢都話我唔要就即係唔當佢係媽咪,咁我唯有要左之後隔幾日就約佢同細佬食飯,跟手比錢我媽媽,佢唔要我就用番同一句說話,"唔要即係唔當我係女,收起d錢,有咩事都有錢傍身,比我盡下做女女既責任啦,你湊大我都用左唔少啦,ok?"有時計下數佢真係到貼比我嫁,因為每次出去佢都買野比我同女女,女女就多數買衫仔同野食或者玩具,買比我就多數係補身既野,我真係好感動,因為媽媽真係好關心我,而家我最開心既係我同父母關係好好,好過以前好多好多,仲有最最開心係連我老公都原諒左我媽媽(佢因為之前果件事嬲左我媽媽好耐,因為我媽媽居然信佢男朋友都唔信我,仲叫我地3日內搬走),雖然每次約左媽媽佢都唔去,但起碼老公冇再好似初初咁唔比我搵媽媽,而家我同媽媽傾電話佢都唔會再嬲,我唔需要好似以前咁等佢番左工先可以同媽媽傾電話,同媽媽出街亦唔需要好似以前咁呃佢,希望有一日佢會肯叫我媽媽一聲'外母/媽媽'啦,最好當然係佢會肯同我媽媽好似一家人咁食飯啦,到時我就真係可以放低晒所有顧慮喇,講晒成件事,諗番之前呢d野,攪到自己又眼濕濕添,希望大家唔好好似我以前咁為左一d誤會而嬲左好錫自己既父母,有時上一代人既思想同表達方式同我地係好唔同,3年一個代溝嘛,聖人都有做錯事既時候啦,更何況父母唔係聖人添,當佢地做錯左既時候咪大方d原諒佢地囉,唔好令自己既人生有遺憾,我而家最遺憾既係我令媽媽錯過左我由大肚到女女3個月大呢個開心時刻,下次我再追多個果陣一定唔會比佢錯過,等我可以感受下媽媽比我既支持


公爵府

積分: 29293


發表於 04-4-7 17:59 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

lauretta
見到你的經歷, 都好替你開心, 因為你同父母的關係轉好了.
我無唔見我亞媽, 只係唔會俾佢主力湊BB同陪月, 原因係, 我想有多點自主權. 當然, BB出世後, 都會帶返佢俾佢見下.

其實我都知佢係關心我的, 我之前俾了3D的相佢睇, 佢都好開心咁, 只係有時佢的表達方式, 有時令我接受唔到.


公爵府

積分: 29293


發表於 04-4-7 18:04 |顯示全部帖子

Re: 你們會怎樣做? 教教我.

sifawong
My parents are retired, they have their saving and penalty. I have to pay them monthly, I don't think they didn't have enough money, of course I can't say they rich. I think it is the character of my mother, she's a bit 守財奴. She want a lot of money in her saving account. She is not satisfy herself (my father also comments like that).

Although I don't want my mum to take care my baby, I will let them play and talk together.

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