少年成長 今日: 1 | 主題: 15847

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42^#

發表於 15-3-14 13:04 |只看該作者

本帖最後由 goodsnooky 於 15-3-14 13:04 編輯

LKS媽媽發表於 15-3-13 02:21
仔名列前矛，只是攞吾到第一或杯都會令到仔遺憾？內心話也無法跟至親說上幾多句，就算孩子在全省市考到Top1 ...

個仔星期二代表學校參加財經常識問答比賽，對手有來自中五，中六0既學生，大佢有成7年，佢居然拿到第四名，我0係0個一刻真係覺得感到自豪，但佢反而覺得自己好失敗，因為佢同校0既同學拿到第三名，仲0係星期五週會拿到個杯仔，搞到好唔開心，要我同佢上訴，結果我寫封電郵俾校長，要求校長考慮過程中邊個表現好D，不要淨係注重最後賽果，希望達到雙嬴局面。

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43^#

發表於 15-3-14 18:47 |只看該作者

引用：Quote:LKS媽媽發表於 15-3-13 02:21 仔名

原帖由 goodsnooky 於 15-03-14 發表
本帖最後由 goodsnooky 於 15-3-14 13:04 編輯

你寫信/email比校長叫佢review 下d參賽學生表現，意圖為令郎得到學校額外嘉許，你不覺得閣下行為怪獸嗎？

令郎在inter- school competition 中得第4，已是實力的肯定，但對學校未有給他嘉許而不憤, 家長要做的是開導小朋友（世事從來不是完全公平完美！），而不是因為小朋友失落、不憤而去跟學校爭取特別待遇！\'

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44^#

發表於 15-3-15 17:19 |只看該作者

birdbird 發表於 15-3-14 18:47
你寫信/email比校長叫佢review 下d參賽學生表現，意圖為令郎得到學校額外嘉許，你不覺得閣下嗎？

...

我覺得行為怪獸，但個仔叫你上訴，唔通你乜都唔做？我如果唔上訴，佢會大發脾氣，嬲我一頭半個月，但如果上訴失敗，起碼我可以話我試過但係唔得，佢會失望但係知道我0既立場係支持邊個。

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45^#

發表於 15-3-15 20:13 |只看該作者

引用：Quote:birdbird 發表於 15-3-14 18:47 你寫

原帖由 goodsnooky 於 15-03-15 發表
我覺得行為怪獸，但個仔叫你上訴，唔通你乜都唔做？我如果唔上訴，佢會大發脾氣，嬲我一頭半個月，但如果上 ...

你個10歲仔叫你上訴，你就必須要照做嗎？你借學校来過橋以幫你化解一個教養危機。作為家長，應該有責任開導小朋友，尤其當他的期望與現實有落差。

你可選擇不跟兒子的要求向校方“上訴”，你将不上訴的原因解釋給他就是了。他未必即時釋懷，但隨著時間及他的經歷增長，他會明白。

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46^#

發表於 15-3-16 20:10 |只看該作者

birdbird 發表於 15-3-15 20:13
你個10歲仔叫你上訴，你就必須要照做嗎？你借學校来過橋以幫你化解一個教養危機。作為家長，應該有責任開導 ...

My son is a very persistent one. He would hassle me with all sorts of "reasons" if I did nothing. I hope you can understand my difficulty.

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47^#

發表於 15-3-16 20:41 |只看該作者

引用：Quote:birdbird 發表於 15-3-15 20:13 你個

原帖由 goodsnooky 於 15-03-16 發表
My son is a very persistent one. He would hassle me with all sorts of "reasons" if I did nothing. ...

You are dictated by your own boy. You fail to explain to him what is right or wrong. You just want to get rid of his hassle without exercising your duty of a parent. Your giving in makes him think he has nothing wrong.

You gave me the impression that you are proud of your son\'s academic performance; as long as he has gd marks, u dont bother to correct his wrong doing to upset him or keep yourself away from his complaints.

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48^#

發表於 15-3-16 20:44 |只看該作者

回覆：我好唔滿意個仔對自己今個學年0既期望!

建議樓主及兒子一同閱讀“弟子規”，就會發現現今的小孩缺乏了什麼。

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可樂~

子爵府

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49^#

發表於 15-3-16 23:13 |只看該作者

引用：回覆+janetlam74+的帖子我無0甘叻可以每年

原帖由 goodsnooky 於 15-02-06 發表
回覆 janetlam74 的帖子

我無0甘叻可以每年考第一，只係Form 4開始考第一，Form 7做Best All Round Studen ...

當佢考過一次第一，你會對他寄以厚望希望佢保持佳績，人既貪念係天生架，我好明白作為家長既慾望。我個仔一年級一開就連考多次全級第一，但當之後一次考得第二，係會好失望架，現在四年級，能在頭三名上上落都已經好心足了，考第一好慘、永無進步機會。

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可樂~

子爵府

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50^#

發表於 15-3-16 23:16 |只看該作者

引用：Quote:birdbird+發表於+15-3-14+18:47+你寫

原帖由 goodsnooky 於 15-03-15 發表
我覺得行為怪獸，但個仔叫你上訴，唔通你乜都唔做？我如果唔上訴，佢會大發脾氣，嬲我一頭半個月，但如果上 ...

你應該叫個仔自己上訴，你要向仔
他表示會支持他的做法，而不是你替佢出頭。

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可樂~

子爵府

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51^#

發表於 15-3-16 23:17 |只看該作者

引用：Quote:原帖由+goodsnooky+於+15-02-06+發表

原帖由 可樂~ 於 15-03-16 發表
當佢考過一次第一，你會對他寄以厚望希望佢保持佳績，人既貪念係天生架，我好明白作為家長既慾望。我個仔一 ...

只有退步風險

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52^#

發表於 15-3-17 19:08 |只看該作者

回覆 birdbird 的帖子

“弟子規”係乜0黎？我中學無讀過，不過應該已經過時，就算仲未過時，我個仔0既中文係“有限公司”，淨係識寫自己0既名，同好簡單0既字。

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53^#

發表於 15-3-17 19:19 |只看該作者

birdbird 發表於 15-3-16 20:41
You are dictated by your own boy. You fail to explain to him what is right or wrong. You just want t ...

I don't think he has done anything wrong. He has every right to complain about the outcome. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. He has his own freedom of expression. He can feel upset about the outcome. I'm glad he's happy to share his feelings with me. I felt for him and that's why I appealed to the Principal, even though I knew the chance of success would be near zero. Upsetting him would be like creating the catastrophe of the century. He would be extremely angry at everyone in the household, especially his younger brother. Then my wife would have to "suppress the riot". I don't want anything dramatic like that to happen.
Maybe you are right. I spend more time to build up his academic capabilities rather than spending enough time to focus on his behavior. My wife is a lot stricter than me. She does not tolerate bad behavior. She's the "bad cop" and I'm sort of the "good cop" in the house.

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54^#

發表於 15-3-17 19:23 |只看該作者

可樂~ 發表於 15-3-16 23:13
當佢考過一次第一，你會對他寄以厚望希望佢保持佳績，人既貪念係天生架，我好明白作為家長既慾望。我個仔一 ...

我叫佢千祈唔好考第二，考第三就個心就無0甘唔舒服，因為起碼仲可以上台影相。

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55^#

發表於 15-3-18 12:19 |只看該作者

引用：回覆 birdbird 的帖子“弟子規”係乜0黎？

原帖由 goodsnooky 於 15-03-17 發表
回覆 birdbird 的帖子

“弟子規”係乜0黎？我中學無讀過，不過應該已經過時，就算仲未過時，我個仔0既中文 ...

星加坡有個出版社將“弟子規” 譯為 the student\'s code of practice，是教小孩在家作為子女及兄弟姊妹、在校作為學生及同窗，以及在社會作為一份子應有孝、忠、義、廉、謙、誠、謹等等（不能盡錄）做人態度與行為。
弟子規本身是文言文，3個字一句；星加坡出版將其意思譯為英文，並加以簡單漫畫故事幫助解釋。我認為英文的用字有點奇怪，但漫畫的部分会令小孩明白固中意思。

E.g. 父母教，須敬聽，父母責，須順承。
Listen respectfully when parents instruct. Acknowledge our mistakes when they admonish.

E.g. 唯德學，唯才藝，不如人，當自礪
Be attentive to our morals, skills and learning. Spur ourselves on to improve if we lag behind.

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56^#

發表於 15-3-18 17:54 |只看該作者

birdbird 發表於 15-3-18 12:19
星加坡有個出版社將“弟子規” 譯為 the student\'s code of practice，是教小孩在家作為子女及兄弟姊妹、 ...

Thanks for your kind suggestions. Sorry, not all of the above are applicable. He will listen respectfully when his mum or I instruct, but he can choose not to follow instructions if he can justify that choice with good reasons.

He acknowledges his mistakes but we don't admonish. My wife and I need to explain why it was a mistake before he accepts it. He won't listen if we don't give good reasons.

He is attentive to the morals, skills and learning, but the moral values are western ones (sigh!)

He strives to improve himself all the time although he may not lag behind. Sometimes this can be a bad thing because he put himself under too much pressure.

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colinjai

複式洋房

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57^#

發表於 15-3-18 19:40 |只看該作者

你個仔考開第二、三都叻丫！
我囡囡都係，我覺得佢好犀利

你要明白，第一名係得一個，你仔仔啲同學都會努力架嘛
如果勤力就有第一，咪好多人第一名？

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發表於 15-3-18 20:39 |只看該作者

引用：Quote:birdbird 發表於 15-3-18 12:19 星加

本帖最後由 birdbird 於 15-3-18 21:06 編輯

原帖由 goodsnooky 於 15-03-18 發表
Thanks for your kind suggestions. Sorry, not all of the above are applicable. He will listen respe ...

I just quote 2 examples of 弟子規. There are much more that worth teaching the kids. Nowadays, kids receive western education which focuses on one's self (own rights, own feelings) instead of one's duties and effects on the others. 弟子規reminds us what our children lack. I agree that the teaching may not be totally applicable in today's life but it enlightens us the spirits of our chinese wisdom and virtues.

Finally, you always defense for your boy. Although your posts appear to seek advice, you are actually showing off your boy's academjc performance or other special thinking. Please note that successful children are not just trophies & fame. Their characters, thinking and behaviours also need guidance and cultivation.

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