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大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-5 20:50 |顯示全部帖子
小朋友今年K1, 係學校經常打同班的一個小朋友, 經過老師的觀察, 係完全無原因! 無fight for toys. 只係坐埋一齊, 或者企埋一齊, 我個小朋友就無啦啦打人.

我已經侮晚同佢解釋打人既後求, 佢應該明白, 仲識得答我打人有佯後果; 再侮日返學前提聲 "你是好孩子, 好孩子是不打人." (用讚賞語氣). 好可惜, 放學時老師就會向我投訴......

講過, 讚過, 同佢一齊睇書解釋過, 利誘過 , 勁鬧過 都唔得, 只係未到最後一步勁打一餐 (我都唔想用呢招!)

我應該點做呢?


侯爵府

積分: 24623

好媽媽勳章 畀面勳章


發表於 08-12-5 23:56 |顯示全部帖子
係有無問過係小朋友咩事要打嗰位同學仔,我知佢可能唔係咁識去表達.
但試下問左原因先.


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-6 22:12 |顯示全部帖子
我同老師都份別問過幾次 (係唔同時間, 唔同環境), 佢都唔出聲, 我就提出假設性問題, eg.是否小朋友搶你玩具? 是否小朋友唔踩你? 答案都是"不". 所以....係咪撩事鬥韭呢?


原文章由 kellyly 於 08-12-5 23:56 發表
係有無問過係小朋友咩事要打嗰位同學仔,我知佢可能唔係咁識去表達.
但試下問左原因先.


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-6 22:18 |顯示全部帖子
我依加送接返學好大壓力, 好驚個家長會走埋黎鬧我, 我需唔需要向對方做些什麼嗎?


原文章由 doraemonj 於 08-12-6 22:12 發表
我同老師都份別問過幾次 (係唔同時間, 唔同環境), 佢都唔出聲, 我就提出假設性問題, eg.是否小朋友搶你玩具? 是否小朋友唔踩你? 答案都是"不". 所以....係咪撩事鬥韭呢?


...


子爵府

積分: 11756


發表於 08-12-7 12:18 |顯示全部帖子
有些資優傾向小朋友,佢會無啦啦打人,原因呢個人好耐之前可能攪過你個仔,當時無事,但事後可能是幾小時,幾天,什至更久,佢突然記起,佢就打番佢


別墅

積分: 740


發表於 08-12-7 13:09 |顯示全部帖子
有時是我們大人想得太多,可能佢真是沒有甚麼特別理由,
可能見到那同學,想同佢玩,唔鍾意佢,也有可能.

但最重要先請老師同小朋友轉轉位,
並請老師向同學仔家長解釋自己小朋友不是有心的,
如果轉了位仍打人,
就一定有特別因由,要小心觀察小朋友的行為,
是否有甚麼在他們之間發生了!
有可能佢見佢有隻佢都有的公仔,
或做事的先後次序,也有可能.

最緊要大人多彼此就小朋友行為溝通了解,
才可幫到小朋友


珍珠宮

積分: 33212


發表於 08-12-7 23:18 |顯示全部帖子
原文章由 doraemonj 於 08-12-5 20:50 發表
仲識得答我打人有佯後果 ...


咁到底佢打咗人嘅後果係乜嘢?冇後果就即係唔駛負責任!
另外, 你亦讚錯了, 所以冇效!


侯爵府

積分: 24623

好媽媽勳章 畀面勳章


發表於 08-12-7 23:59 |顯示全部帖子
原文章由 doraemonj 於 6/12/08 22:12 發表
我同老師都份別問過幾次 (係唔同時間, 唔同環境), 佢都唔出聲, 我就提出假設性問題, eg.是否小朋友搶你玩具? 是否小朋友唔踩你? 答案都是"不". 所以....係咪撩事鬥韭呢?


...


撩事鬥飛我就覺得會係言語上
但佢打人就真係.....唔明la
試過有個媽咪教我佢話同小朋友沖涼時係小朋友同媽咪最close既時侯
小朋友最會同媽咪講心事既時侯
試下同佢沖涼時問佢睇下問唔問到結果


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-8 17:33 |顯示全部帖子
我個仔好蠢, 一定唔係資優, 而且打左那個小朋友有四,五次啦.....


原文章由 daniel44 於 08-12-7 12:18 發表
有些資優傾向小朋友,佢會無啦啦打人,原因呢個人好耐之前可能攪過你個仔,當時無事,但事後可能是幾小時,幾天,什至更久,佢突然記起,佢就打番佢 ...


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-8 17:40 |顯示全部帖子
我個仔話唔鍾意那個小朋友, 但無講點解唔鍾意. 我有同老師講份開佢地, 但佢話課室地方細, 好難做到. 老師話已經留意左, 都係無原因. (老師好忙, 未必睇得gum多.)


原文章由 華華媽 於 08-12-7 13:09 發表
有時是我們大人想得太多,可能佢真是沒有甚麼特別理由,
可能見到那同學,想同佢玩,唔鍾意佢,也有可能.

但最重要先請老師同小朋友轉轉位,
並請老師向同學仔家長解釋自己小朋友不是有心的,
如果轉了位仍打人,
就一定有 ...


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-8 17:50 |顯示全部帖子
(中文打得太慢....)

SandraLo, have to say thanks to you, coz my son was used to hit people (more than one) before, but after 讚賞法, he has improved a lot and didn't hit people anymore (but this 特定目標小朋友 is an exceptional case!)

Teacher punish him to stay in naughty chair once he hit people. And I talk to him when he come back home.

How can I improve my 讚賞法? many thanks.


原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-12-7 23:18 發表


咁到底佢打咗人嘅後果係乜嘢?冇後果就即係唔駛負責任!
另外, 你亦讚錯了, 所以冇效!


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-8 17:52 |顯示全部帖子
he 欺皮笑臉 said I hit people in school, i'm a naughty boy. then changed topic.


原文章由 kellyly 於 08-12-7 23:59 發表


撩事鬥飛我就覺得會係言語上
但佢打人就真係.....唔明la
試過有個媽咪教我佢話同小朋友沖涼時係小朋友同媽咪最close既時侯
小朋友最會同媽咪講心事既時侯
試下同佢沖涼時問佢睇下問唔問到結果 ...


珍珠宮

積分: 33212


發表於 08-12-8 22:46 |顯示全部帖子
原文章由 doraemonj 於 08-12-8 17:52 發表
he 欺皮笑臉 said I hit people in school, i'm a naughty boy. then changed topic.


聽你咁講, attention seeking......唔好俾咁多反應佢!
你處理到佢打人, 只限於有你响度同用讚, 但响學校, 個老師唔會識得用讚!咁就只能用獎+, 你先講我知佢最鍾意同最怕/唔鍾意嘅嘢先......


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-9 23:12 |顯示全部帖子
最鍾意 : chocolate candy
唔鍾意 : vegetables

attention seeking? do u mean he seek for teacher's or my attention?

currently, i remind him "don't hit people" before he goes to the classroom, should I stop this action?

tonite, before he went to sleep, he said he's a naughty boy coz he hit people (sounds seriously). what should I response?


原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-12-8 22:46 發表


聽你咁講, 似attention seeking......唔好俾咁多反應佢!
你處理到佢打人, 只限於有你响度同用讚, 但响學校, 個老師唔會識得用讚!咁就只能用獎+罸, 你先講我知佢最鍾意同最怕/唔鍾意嘅嘢先...... ...


珍珠宮

積分: 33212


發表於 08-12-11 23:09 |顯示全部帖子
原文章由 doraemonj 於 08-12-9 23:12 發表
最鍾意 : chocolate candy
唔鍾意 : vegetables
attention seeking? do u mean he seek for teacher's or my attention?
currently, i remind him "don't hit people" before he goes to the classroom, should ...


Sorry that my mouse at home is not working well with the 手寫板, please wait for one more day. I'll try to see if I can answer you tomorrow when I'm in office.


珍珠宮

積分: 33212


發表於 08-12-12 23:47 |顯示全部帖子
Attention seeking 呢樣嘢對好多家長嚟講係好糢糊, 皆因自己一日到黑嘅時間已經俾哂佢地, 点解小朋友重會咁? 呢個現象我都解釋唔到, 或者可以咁睇, 小朋友對父母給他們「既有」嘅關心已經「習慣」, 一次偶然做了些「曳」嘢, 發現父母的反應很大, 突然焦點都集中在自己身上, 於是, 不由自主地重覆做那些會令父母注意的事...... 有些嚴重的, 即使是打也要"seek"!
如果真係咁, 要處理又唔難, 只須對佢呢類行為不作反應即可; 就好似你個case, 話又話過, 解又解過, 重變本加厲, 打人打到愈打愈高興, 又話自已係naughty boy等等, 如引不起你的注意, 加埋你响佢冇做曳嘢時讚佢, 佢好快應該唔會再做!


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-15 00:58 |顯示全部帖子
Sandra

thank you for your advice. once you told me "attention seeking", I have took some actions already.

1. no more reminder "don't hit people" before go to school.
2. say "XXX (his name) is a good boy."
3. spend more time to play with him. i.e. really sit down and just play with him.
4. more smile and relax!

As a full-time mami without a maid, even I stay with my child 24 hours 7 days a week, but i haven't spend too much "play time" with him. maybe this is the reason.

To my case, my son wants me to stay w/ him every minutes. eg. while i'm cooking in the kitchen, he loves to come into the kitchen and asks questions. I ask him go to play in the living room by himself while mami is cooking, then he replies "yes" w/ a moody voice.

not sure if it is the reason behind. anyway, i will keep going on the above points.


Sandra

do I miss anything or take wrong action? thanks again.



原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-12-12 23:47 發表
Attention seeking 呢樣嘢對好多家長嚟講係好糢糊, 皆因自己一日到黑嘅時間已經俾哂佢地, 点解小朋友重會咁? 呢個現象我都解釋唔到, 或者可以咁睇, 小朋友對父母給他們「既有」嘅關心已經「習慣」咗, 一次偶然做了些 ...


珍珠宮

積分: 33212


發表於 08-12-15 22:26 |顯示全部帖子
原文章由 doraemonj 於 08-12-15 00:58 發表
Sandra

thank you for your advice. once you told me "attention seeking", I have took some actions already.

1. no more reminder "don't hit people" before go to school.
2. say "XXX (his name) is a g ...


doraemonj :

You can still remind him not to hit people before he goes to school.
It's always good to fix a play time and story time with your kid.
Praise him when you know he didn't hit people in school that day.
To make praise more effective, you can reward him something he likes when praise. This kind of reward can be food or play time or even a hug.

The most important thing is NOT to give him any reaction (even facial expression) when he said he hit people or he's a naughty boy.

[ 本文章最後由 SandraLo 於 08-12-15 22:32 編輯 ]


男爵府

積分: 8513

好媽媽勳章


發表於 08-12-16 21:51 |顯示全部帖子
我仔仔k1時成日俾個同學仔撞/蝦, 都係唔知點解, 只係簡我仔仔黎蝦, 我仔仔又唔醒目, 企定又唔識閃走, 試過朝早係床飲泣, 想返學又驚佢, 去到課室又唔入, 我都好憂心; 終於有2次見到傷痕, 第2次仲係眼肚下面, 好彩無整到眼, 其實之前已有反應俾老師, 不過呢次後老公出聲, 請學校通知對方家長, 如再有第3次就報警, 之後老師要人釘人(一班有3個老師, 一個拖一個, 分開佢地)

而家p2, 咁岩又係一班, 仔仔話個同學仔已好左好多, 不過就算個同學仔再蝦佢, 佢都唔會再驚!

當年個同學仔父母見到我地都無講過一句對唔住(係另外同學仔生日會), 我心入邊真係好想揪佢; 不過今年我送仔仔返學時又見佢叫我仔仔, 我又暗自慚愧~~

原文章由 doraemonj 於 08-12-6 22:18 發表
我依加送接返學好大壓力, 好驚個家長會走埋黎鬧我, 我需唔需要向對方做些什麼嗎?


大宅

積分: 4109


發表於 08-12-18 23:09 |顯示全部帖子
Sandra, IRON

thanks for your sharing. something were happened between teacher, the classmate's parents and me. i will upate later tonite.....

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