I am writing to share my experience with my confinement lady Fong Yee (陪月 芳姨 -- surname 唐 living in 大埔) which has brought nightmare to my family. I sincerely hope other moms won’t have to go through the pain I’ve had especially during such important life events when we’re already overwhelmed with our little one. This is a little long winded but I rackon all stated are purely factual here.
She is 60 years old and very experienced (10+ years). She repeatedly said she has worked for a number of celebrities (models, officials, etc.) during her time with me. As a new mom, while I was impressed by her skills in the first two days, our nightmare started from day 3 when reality revealed ---
1. Efficient but low quality work: She is proficient – however the work was delivered at low standard. E.g. She doesn’t even wash hands properly after sneezing. She cleaned baby’s eyes with the cloth soaked with milk spilled. She offered to do baby massage but it was completely WRONG directions (as we've learned from physiologist at hospital). For cooking, there is only ONE dish per meal putting meal and vegetables altogether. She bought quite some preserved food which requires minimal cooking - she has certainly under-delivered in helping mom's recovery but just randomly doing her own receipts using strong flavorings.
2. Acting like boss with ridiculous self ego: There have been multiple dramas which very extremely painful for me as a mom. One afternoon baby was crying hard for milk but she insisted putting baby to sleep. I quickly prepared the milk for baby and she got mad. Baby was so hungry that he finished the milk quickly. She lost her temper on the spot and said I didn’t respect her. Another example was she used swaddle to put baby to sleep. There was one night i saw baby struggled with his hands and legs moving. I asked her politely if we should unswaddle him - then she yelled at me loudly even when baby was half awake. I unswaddled for baby and she kept shouting I was wrong etc. etc.
3. Highly presentable – making her own interests as priority over baby’s needs: She is good at making herself good. When baby makes a little sound, she always put on soother which I have told her we discourage reliance on soother. When baby puked, she hides it and never told the reality. She even covered it up with cloth immediately during diaper change (yikes – what kind of hygiene standard!) She brought baby to you when baby was smiling. She patted/rocked baby hard when baby was crying. She even attempted to damage the relationship among family members (omg!) by deferring her mistakes.
4. Making herself too much at home: We’ve hired her for 24 hours. She liked to lock the door of baby’s room even though we insisted not to. We requested to check on baby during night time, but she responded very rudely saying that is her privacy. She also ate in baby’s room even though we told her not to. I didn't realize until I saw the biscuits and bread pieces on the floor.
6. Low EQ and poor attitude: She has big emotional swing especially during night time. One night baby was yelling for 20 mins. I woke up to check on baby and found she was just playing on phone. She yelled at me and complained I didn’t trust her. She shouted loudly saying baby was doing good then soon after baby puked.
7. Lazy, very lazy: She's slacking off a lot. According to her, she has worked for rich people with 3 helpers. She avoided the work whenever possible (e.g. going to market, cleaning, making tea) and left to my helper including Sundays (there was one time she questioned when your helper had a dayoff during the epidemic time)! She was playing on phone even when hugging baby and occasionally she has kept the phone close to baby’s head.
Hope it helps. Happy to provide reference. It is such a dreadful experience that I wish to make an effort to avoid further damage to other well-deserved happy moms.
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