My parents will visit us 3-4 times/year, and stay at least 1 month/visit. They will call us at least twice a week.
My parents-in-law will call my husband (maybe once a month), but they never ask for talking to the grand children, NEVER! (they even confuse by calling them a wrong name etc)
Even they have visited us ONCE a while, my son always talk about them, and he remembered them. I just feel bad for my son.
I think they are the kind of parents that only love their children, but not the grand children.
I don't have any expectation from them (the only people that I care are my husband and kids). Frankly, I don't feel uncomfortable that they have preference on the big grandson because it is very normal for old people to like the first grandson and they live in HK.
However, I don't feel good that they never ask for them even when they are calling? I don't feel good that they travel everywhere with their friends in China for almost 3 months but don't come to visit their grand children - and we are talking about once a year!
I also feel bad for my husband, he probably did not say to me.
We never live together, no chance to argue or communicate, and definitely won't have 心病.
I don't have any expectation from them (the only people that I care are my husband and kids). Frankly, I don't feel uncomfortable that they have preference on the big grandson becaus ...
Take it easy unless you are, in fact, expecting more than visits from them.