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1^#

發表於 04-5-17 22:26 |只看該作者

請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

我很不開心,老公要求冷靜,己搬出家,我很不開心,凡事都已乏力,老公說仍信主,但會到另一間教會返,不會和我同bb一起出街.

經我"勉強"後,他願意三個月後再討論能否在一起,是否應等待?還是他只在"呼硯"我,想離婚? 我真的很不開心.

私人傳訊

積分: 11510

2^#

發表於 04-5-17 22:35 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

唔好咁唔開心啦,呢樣嘢好難講實俾你知...始終婚姻係雙方建立,既然佢係想冷靜吓,何不你又用呢啲時間去冷靜吓,細心去諗點去改善大家既關係同生活方式?其實呢段時間你都可以作個自我檢討,人始終無完美,各人有自己既優點,亦有令人難頂既缺點,如果响呢段時候你發現你有啲缺點正正係你老公頂唔順嗰啲,你就要去改,有錯就要當面向佢承認,要話俾佢知道你仍愛佢,仍然想繼續維繫段感情,亦都有誠意大家一齊改善關係...如果你自己仍胡思亂想,你就將你既事交託俾神,求神去指引你,保護你,可以既話,你都可以邀請你先生同你一齊祈禱,亦一齊尋求解決方法.始終神所賜予既婚姻係一生一世,唔應該因為少少風浪而咁輕易打散!振作!

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積分: 475

3^#

發表於 04-5-17 23:46 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

我感到乏力,不想面對,但謝謝你
我與不信的人談,他們都像叫我死心
我很苦惱.

私人傳訊

積分: 11510

4^#

發表於 04-5-18 01:27 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

有無信主都好,始終唔應該咁輕易放棄...不過之前你响夫妻情感分享,可能你講得唔詳細,我睇完都有一少少覺得你老公唔啱,但始終我唔知亦唔清楚你同你老公本身既情況,所以真係唔可以妄下定論,如果你同你老公都係神既兒女,何不倚靠神去幫助你地?

俾信心你地自己,亦俾信心天父囉!神總必有佢既旨意,無論結果係點,你都唔好氣餒!呢個世界上仲有好多人關心你愛你重視你!唔係剩得老公架@!仲有你屋企人,親友~!仲有BK呢度大把媽咪會幫你亦關心你!唔好咁唔開心啦!放鬆啲!如果放鬆唔到,你可以試吓深呼吸,心數十秒,然後放鬆,咁樣你會無咁緊架!再唔係多啲同朋友同我地傾,有時間出吓街散散心...總之,你要知道仲有人關心你去愛你,你仲有天父去愛鍚你重視你同保護你!

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Jsmami

大宅

積分: 4008

5^#

發表於 04-5-18 12:00 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

hlmom,

I don't know the details of your situation, I can't comment. But I can tell u two of my male friends had once had an affair with other women. As friends, we sat them down, let them air out what they felt wrong with their marriages, what they looked for in the new relationship.... very often, they came to realize it's just a fantasy. In the end, they both went back to their wives & have happy ending.

If a man is responsible, he knows his priority. It's important that u two know the source of the problem & have the courage & patience to deal with it together. I always believe a marriage takes two to make it or break it. When you two talk, listen, don't defend.

See if u have common friends whom your husband feels more like talking to them. They may be able to help. God bless,

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diddle

積分: 175

6^#

發表於 04-5-18 15:31 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

Jsmami 寫道:
hlmom,

I don't know the details of your situation, I can't comment. But I can tell u two of my male friends had once had an affair with other women. As friends, we sat them down, let them air out what they felt wrong with their marriages, what they looked for in the new relationship.... very often, they came to realize it's just a fantasy. In the end, they both went back to their wives & have happy ending.

If a man is responsible, he knows his priority. It's important that u two know the source of the problem & have the courage & patience to deal with it together. I always believe a marriage takes two to make it or break it. When you two talk, listen, don't defend.

See if u have common friends whom your husband feels more like talking to them. They may be able to help. God bless,

'As friends, we sat them down, let them air out what they felt wrong with their marriages, what they looked for in the new relationship.... very often, they came to realize it's just a fantasy. In the end, they both went back to their wives & have happy ending.'

可否分享多一些你們如何改變他們?

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Jsmami

大宅

積分: 4008

7^#

發表於 04-5-18 17:07 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

diddle,

Long stories, not sure if u want to hear the details. In essence, we, friends, lend them a listening ear & act as a bouncing wall, when they sound out their life issue. We guide them to put emotions (sparks in a new relationship) aside, think rationally, re-prioritize what is important in life, & lead them to make up their own mind. We don't laugh, criticize or condemn. Of course, we don't agree to having affairs outside a marriage. We give them a pat on the shoulder, encourage them to rebuild a loving relationship with their wives & children, keep the secret from their wives (don't stir things up), divert their energy to other things (family outings, sports etc) while they are learning to get used to leaving the women.

Sometimes friends talk better than wives coz we don't carry emotions. Let the family men surround the man in trouble & hopefully get him influenced subtly.

What does the wive do (assuming she loves her husband back)? Be loving, accepting, forgiving, kind & sweet, be there when in need, be the husband's best friend - that's my advice.

You want to read another message under Christian Family with title "Recipe for Happy Marriage". God bless,

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積分: 475

8^#

發表於 04-5-18 21:49 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

I have been crying daily, but today, I didn't cry. I am unsure if I want to be together now. In the past, we have similar case but he never moved out. We have separated room. I would feel very upset everyday and cannot do anything, cry every moment. Today, I just feel I hate him. I don't know if he can be my sweet husband again or I can be his lovely wife. I hate him, I hate his mom. I want to bring my son to church, but I just cannot face the people.

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diddle

積分: 175

9^#

發表於 04-5-19 15:49 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

hlmom,
Sorry to hear your story.I think the bro and sis in Church will accept and support you. Is there anybody/pastor whom you trust that you can share the difficulties and give you and your husband counselling? Face the problem and seek help! The third party can lead him to remember his committment to marriage before God. God will lead you two to the solution! Don't give up!

Jsmami,
Thank you for your sharing. I just wonder how can you change a man's mind!!Great!

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積分: 475

10^#

發表於 04-5-19 16:12 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

Thanks, I think God listen to prayer. And, I realized there are people caring me. I have changed to be very negative and 偏激 yesterday. But now I feel softer. Thanks and pls continue to pray for me as I really have no energy to continue my prayer.

At the moment, I find hard to accept. I am a person who will easily cry. I need to be strong.

When looking at the subject, I realize that initially, I really think of possibility to reunion. I have changed so drastically yesterday to be hopeless.

Pls pray for me, so that I know God will prepare the path for me. I don't want to be a bad example for other non-christian. At the moment, my 妹,堂姐 knows. They are both non-christian. I have hard time to let them know because that will 失見證, but I really need someone to talk and listen.

Thanks Jsmami for your offer.

I will be good. Thanks

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twinsma

男爵府

積分: 5277

11^#

發表於 04-5-21 09:52 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

hlmom,

基督徒也是人, 人會犯罪, 所以基督徒夫婦發生問題真係不足為奇, 不過正如妳所說, 不信的人是較難明白, 而妳擔心向妳不信的妹及堂姐傾訴會失見証亦可理解。妳可以找牧師或傳道人幫忙嗎??

妳教會有伉儷團嗎?? 可以請一些夫婦傾談下嗎??

為妳祈禱, 求神一同開妳二人的心, 相信神所配合的無人能分開... you're in my prayer

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Mei

男爵府

積分: 8917

好媽媽勳章

12^#

發表於 04-5-21 14:43 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

在人不能, 在神凡事都能. 我不懂得安慰人, 但只有記念你!!!

私人傳訊

積分: 11510

13^#

發表於 04-5-22 20:11 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

盡量同老公一齊靈修禱告啦.始終人唔聽人講,但都會聽神話!

明無?我地唔乖,就要尋求神既教導,有時我地軟弱,亦都需要神既幫助,人始終係脆弱,唔係樣樣問題人自己可以獨力解決得嚟...你要靠主得勝!

努力呀!

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faifai125

別墅

積分: 630

14^#

發表於 04-5-23 00:02 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

hlmom,
我看到你的文章就好像我個朋友一樣，她係上年近父親節時, 她老公搬走的而且剛巧是她第二次小產, 現在她只好和女兒在等他回來。我真係覺得佢好勇敢, 原先她可以回到舊公司工作, 但她想事奉, 每星期只做一天替工。她真是一個好姊妹, 雖然身在苦難中, 但她都必笑面迎人, 周圍的弟兄姊妹都受她感染。我都好相信神係藉着人生的經歷而令他們成長, 你要多禱告, 凡事藉着神, 祂必有好安排, 努力呀! BB好需要你

私人傳訊

積分: 475

15^#

發表於 04-5-24 00:14 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

My computer broke down and so I can't read your message. Thanks for your support.

Things have been well on Wed & Thur, but I have destroyed it totally on Fri to Sun.

I realized my husband has changed his attitude too on Wed. He said he would go to in-law's home for dinner and bring us home. But, Friday, he can't make it and I feel very upset. I love him and I become a very troublesome person. I felt that he began to hate me again. I also feel myself very long wind. I need all your prayer. My husband has already moved out for 1 week and I feel hard every day, I don't want to pass my life in this way. However, I have again, lost my confidence... I feel Satan is working hard and I have been back & forth. I have promised myself, not to make any call to him this week, because this is one of the things he hate me to do.

Thanks for putting us to your prayer. I will pray myself, but I feel hard to read the Bible these days. And, on Sunday, I haven't gone to church.

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積分: 11510

16^#

發表於 04-5-25 03:20 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

hlmom,

:-( 我睇完你留言我都好唔開心...點都好,幾辛苦你都一定要捱過!如果你覺得壓力大既話,你一定要多啲同人傾訴,盡量做番啲你鐘意做既事(興趣...)去令你放鬆輕鬆一下!唔好俾撒但得逞!如果你都覺得自己呢排脾氣唔好,你就盡量令自己放鬆去冷靜,唔好再俾自己嚴重落去!要話俾自己知,點樣做先至為之一個好人,點做先至係一個好太太,...可能有時我會俾人覺得我係一個自大既人,但係如果唔時刻提醒自己鼓勵自己,你係唔能夠改變自己,去改善自己既缺點,增強自己既優點.所以你要時刻話俾自己知,作為一個基督徒你要係點,做唔到咪要求自己做到,俾多啲信心自己,唔好咁易俾魔鬼打低你!你唔信自己得,你都要堅信天父可以幫你有能力去戰勝魔鬼~!當你軟弱時就祈禱,求神賜你力量去克服!我唔識講嘢,總之,你一定要努力!我地每個媽咪都一樣支持你!神亦會時刻响你身邊看顧你!

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faifai125

別墅

積分: 630

17^#

發表於 04-5-25 21:44 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

hlmom,

願您細看以下文章:

當你仍可以給予時，不要輕言放棄；在你停止嘗試之前，沒有任何一件事是已經結束的。
不要害怕承認自己是不完美的，因為這是將我們聯結在一起的微弱聯繫。
不要害怕面對風險，我們在嘗試中學得勇敢。
不要說真愛難尋而將愛排除於你生活之外。
接受愛的最快方法是給予，將愛握得太緊將會很快失去它，而保持愛的最好方法是給它自由。
不要匆忙的過生活而忘了自己曾經歷過的種種事物，以及自己未來的方向。
不要懼怕學習，知識是沒有重量的，你永遠可以輕易的帶著它與你同行。
不要揮霍時間或話語，這兩樣事物是無法收回的。
生活不是一個競賽，但是在這條路上，每一步都能令你回味無窮。
盼主帶領你堅强, 凡事藉着禱告, 祂必有好的安排。

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faifai125

別墅

積分: 630

18^#

發表於 04-5-25 21:48 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

hlmom,

我們認為是負面的事，神卻有正面的回應。

你會說：「這是不可能的。」神卻說：「凡事都能。」（路 18:27）
你說：「我太累了。」神說：「我給你安息。」（太 11:28）
你說：「沒有人真正關心我。」神說：「我愛你。」（約 3:16; 約13:34）
你說：「我支持不住了。」神說：「我的恩典夠你用。」（林後12:9; 詩
91:15）
你說：「有很多事情，我不能解決。」神說：「我必指引你的路。」（箴
3:5-6）
你說：「我不能作這事。」神說：「你凡事都能作。」（腓 4:13）
你說：「我不能。」神說：「我能夠。」（林後 9:8）
你說：「我不能原諒自己。」神說：「我寬恕你。」（約壹1:9;羅8:1）
你說：「我應付不來。」神說：「我會供應你的所需。」（腓4:9）
你說：「我很害怕。」神說：「我賜給你的，不是一個膽怯的心。」（提後
1:7）
你說：「我經常憂慮和沮喪。」神說：「將一切的憂慮卸給我。」（彼前5:7）
你說：「我的信心不夠。」神說：「我所分給各人的信心，是我量度過的。」
（羅
12:3）
你說：「我不夠聰明。」神說：「我給你智慧。」（林前1:30）
你說：「我覺得很孤單。」神說：「我總不撇下你，也不丟棄你。」（來13:5）

願主祝福您, 努力呀!

私人傳訊

積分: 475

19^#

發表於 04-5-25 22:50 |只看該作者

Re: 請問冷靜分開是否會復合?

Thanks Faifai125. I've learnt to be patient now. And, I have come across a message, to love using the method/style of your half, not yours.

I am feeling much better today, my husband called me and we will bring son to go out. Though there are still long way to go for 3 mths, I will wait. And, I hope that we will be reunion

Thanks for all of your prayer. Our God listens to our prayer.

I will continue to pray for our family

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Fatty