I have medical background and I totally agree with others\' suggestions of sending your 99 to hospital. From your description, she really has high risk to kill herself if your husband is not abiding to her. Secondly, she is using this threat to keep your husband by her side and this is in fact driving your husband crazy too. From the way I see it, this is the only feasible way to keep your family intact and her alive.
Before I got married, my husband and I and premarital counseling and there is one point I remember so well that when it comes to 婆媳糾紛, always think about who is the most likely person who would spend the rest of his life with you. It\'s not your parents nor your children, but the man you chose to marry. He is the one who is gonna stand by you when no one else would. Don\'t give him up so easily. At least not for a shitty woman like your 99. Sorry I had to write in English as my Chinese typing is as shitty as your 99 :)
Do try a few sessions of marital counseling. It would be good for your husband (as well as you) to look at the issue from a third person\'s perspective after hearing both sides of the story (we JMs here have only heard from you) you may have unexpected 得著 from a good counselor. Hearing from you how your 99 treated you may not be convincing to your husband as he knows you have disliked her for so many years. Let him hear it from another pair of lips. He may have different feelings.
I only wanna wish you all the best. I can tell you are genuinely a very kind and loving and smart lady. I would feel so bad if your husband and you could not go on because of your 99.
For the borderline personality disorder, you can look it up in Wikipedia. It gives a very detailed discussion and it\'s quite fun to read. And if you have anything in mind, feel free to pm me.
樓主,你不如希大仔去睇心理醫院,係可能幫到佢架。睇你個post你99一定每次你地唔響屋企時有話你大仔,佢可能細唔識表達,收收埋埋,睇心理醫生對你大仔係好事,可以幫佢同教佢啲表達。 I feel so sorry for your son but on other hand, he is such a lucky boy got a mother like you. Good luck!