I have always live very near to my mother and father in law, they are great! Sometime, I will ask them out to have tea with us in Sat and Sun, even go to restranant to have breakfast on Sun and they go home afterward, then me and my husband shop for a while, and go to their place to have dinner. Super great, no need to cook and wash, they treat me like their daugther, know what I like to eat, even know how I want the soup hot. Now that I have a daughter, mother in law come down to my place and look after my daughter with my domestic helper, from 9:00 to 21:00 , Mon to Sat with no cost to me, she don't see it as a job, she see it as her love for her granddaughter, as for my father in law, his main duty is to go to the park with my daughter twice a day, he love it so as my daughter, and I am of couse happy with both in laws here to check on my daughter and the maid. I could wholeheartedly to concentrate on work. And I treasure all moment with them or alone with my baby alone on Sun.
Of course, mother in law can tend to nag, but she meant well, try to understand her story, even you don't agree, don't say it right out immediately, chill out first, I once blew my temper in front of her and I regret it terribly and felt so awful, I apologise to her later and gave her a kiss on her face. Think, she is old and she only tried to do what she consider her best for you and baby, so I don't see why we must stand against each other and cannot be mother and daughter to certain extend.
I see so many mums try to avoid their in-laws. Not all in-laws are terrible. Try to think about it this way. Wouldn't you be hurt if you find out your daughter-in-law pursuade your son to move far away from you to avoid seeing you?? Some in-laws are very helpful when you are pregnant and have small babies. Do you think that your Indonesian/Filipino maids are more reliable and trustworthy than them? I think the in-laws can always keep an eye for you on your kids and maid when you work during the day.
Of course, it is still better not to live under the same roof. Living around the neighbourhood should be OK I think. I think all older people including your own parents nag sometimes. Just be patient and consider your husband/wife's feeling as well.
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