婆媳關係 今日: 1 | 主題: 27766

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發表於 09-1-20 10:15 |只看該作者

麟媽講得最好

1) 過時過節係耍就男家
2) 男人点孝順都係冇心肝, 真係要幫佢記住男家ｄ大日子, 提完又提
3) 約食飯c6唔去確認就自己做
4) 呢個 case係新結婚唔識做, 快ｄ搞掂佢過年, 唔係又話一個月前約咗初一去女家!
5) 再觀察下, 如果女家係唔講道理, 男家就耍企硬

唔知樓主幾兄弟姐妹? 我有四個又成日出差, 咪又約到! 一家人和和氣氣啦, 希望你第時都做個好老婆!

原帖由 麟媽媽 於 09-1-19 22:09 發表
此言差矣......過時過節唔係飲茶霸位，
絕對唔係先到先得既。
相信樓主亞哥都係新婚，
未習慣統籌兩家時節安排啫，
男女方都好，一方提出約呢日，
都要同另一方預先安排，問一吓以示尊重，
如果不幸撞日再睇吓點相就。
好明顯女方 ...

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silviachoi

男爵府

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畀面勳章環保接龍勳章 BK Milk勳章

65^#

發表於 09-1-20 13:25 |只看該作者

如果你係你大嫂你又會出post話你奶奶好要你推外家就男家架啦..

其實最好既方法係
每有咩大節日你哥同大嫂應該自己夾會唔會撞日子..

同埋你爸生日唔會去到咁遲先約食飯掛..
我爸生日我地早個幾月就開始plan去邊食有咩節目啦..

今次唔係邊個錯係你地無溝通好姐
其實你哥可以選擇去完佢外母度再番你屋企同你爸見下面都得架..
佢地唔識做姐..

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Siuchoi

珍珠宮

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66^#

發表於 09-1-20 13:30 |只看該作者

我覺得....冬至同生日都係一個大節~ 但同時亦可提早做架~

佢地一個月前約好, 咁佢地冇問題架喎~ 咁生日米早一日食囉~ 就下唔得架咩?

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mother904

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67^#

發表於 09-1-20 13:51 |只看該作者

原帖由 kahei_mam@yahoo 於 09-1-20 02:36 發表
我覺得係樓主多事,
大家想一想,如果做冬要一個前約,可想有幾多人,
已經唔係正日,第一年結婚緊係想齊人
仲有呀,未結婚前,樓主爸爸生日,佢阿嫂無去到

睇到樓主的說話好似係佢恨佢阿嫂同佢哥結婚,
等佢無左個好大哥,上 ...

agree。

呢個post既問題，就係將所有人處理不善推哂係一個人身上，明明自己呀媽一哭二鬧，呀哥無心肝，都可以話係呀嫂帶壞呀哥，累佢地冇左個乖仔同好大哥。

[ 本帖最後由 mother904 於 09-1-20 14:07 編輯 ]

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68^#

發表於 09-1-20 13:52 |只看該作者

I have similiar problem.........
Would you (any sister here) give me some comments ?

In the past 1x years, we 過時過節係耍就男家 (for all 1x 時節 every year). We went to 99's flat for dinner. My attendance is almost 100% in the past 1x years (unless we are not in HK). It is because my 99 is a 'traditional' Chinese. She likes to eat 'together' in those 時節.

My husband doesn't like to visit his parents. It is because they treat him bad. I force him to go to 99's flat everytime in those 時節. It is because I think even they treat you bad, they are your parents. As we are not living together, you should visit them frequently.

A few months before (around the mid-autumn festival), my 99 said that compare with other daughters in law, I am always 'free' and get nothing to do so that I can join all their dinner in the past years............... Those words hurt me deeply. Tell the truth, I have 2 kids (the other son haven't got any kid, another son got 1 kid and my 99 help him to take care of the kid). I need to work. I also need to take care of my parents as I am their only kid live in HK........

Therefore, this year, I don't force my husband back to 99's flat for dinner. He is happy about that. However, I still think should I go by myself or not? (They eat for continuous 3 days, late 30, 1 and 2 of chanese date)

[ 本帖最後由 ac321 於 09-1-20 13:55 編輯 ]

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mother904

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69^#

發表於 09-1-20 14:06 |只看該作者

ac321,

If your husband don't feel like to visit his parent, you do not have any obligation to force him to do so. Unless you feel like to spend your time with your parent-in-law, otherwise you don't need to attend their family dinner alone.

If I were you, I will ask my husband to show his gesture by having dinner with his parent just one day.

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konnichi

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70^#

發表於 09-1-20 14:15 |只看該作者

ac321,

I also agree with mother904. Being a daugther-in-law, you have already encouraged your husband to visit his mom, if he is not willing to do so, it is not your problem.

You can just go back to your 99's home with your kids on either one day, and let your kids to visit their grandmother.

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JBlam

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71^#

發表於 09-1-20 14:16 |只看該作者

原帖由 momama 於 09-1-20 10:15 發表
麟媽講得最好

1) 過時過節係耍就男家
2) 男人点孝順都係冇心肝, 真係要幫佢記住男家ｄ大日子, 提完又提
3) 約食飯c6唔去確認就自己做
4) 呢個 case係新結婚唔識做, 快ｄ搞掂佢過年, 唔係又話一個月前約咗初一去女家!
5 ...

我都同意.麟媽&momama 所講而我覺得更加唔係去批評對錯..如果佢地2個再唔好好改善溝通...分開都係遲早問題(唔係亂up)..來緊幾多個節日,幾多既生日,幾多既假期..唔分配得好.唔分開都會是但一個家庭無左個仔或女..(呢個年代無個仔機會大好多)
我雖然係男人..但其實大家唔好下下用愚孝來形容..好多時係觀點既問題..同我地唔單要睇自己個人睇法..其實我地都要顧及上一代好多傳統思想根深柢固, 唔係話年長傳統思想啱晒..而係我地約30年既習慣都難改...咁我地既父母多1倍既時間..佢地既習慣又點可以一朝一夕就改變.
我地要從對方父母找唔合理的地方,實在太易..但我地要知另一半的父母係佢地無得簡既..我地唔就..另一半就好難受.
好多人亦講過: 你咁對99,第時你做99就知.."通常既回應係..佢我99衰,我第時唔會好似佢咁既...但可想到.99以前既99可能更好傳統,可能而家佢已經改變左好多..我覺得對錯永遠都講唔完,最緊要係互相體諒, 避重就輕, 講易行難..但一定要知,結得婚,你就一定係愛你另一半..你都唔想你另一半難做同唔開心..父母佢無得簡,我地都唔應該迫佢簡..唔可以"又要馬兒好,又要馬兒不吃草" + 上唔好"迫"或者培訓一個唔理親情既另一半出來...今日會因為一個女子而放棄一個生養自己的人..他朝........

一個"愚"孝者的個人分享

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Carol601016

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發表於 09-1-20 14:21 |只看該作者

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73^#

發表於 09-1-20 14:31 |只看該作者

Thanks for your reply!

My husband don't want to have dinner with 99 for even 1 day......
He gives me a big 'problem'. I am sure my 62 99 will be disappointed this year!! And my brothers / sisters in law will have a lot of 'bad' words about me in front of my 99 if my husband don't visit them!

Tell the truth, I don't like to stay with 99. However, just feel that they are my husband's parent. "No them, and then no my husband".

原帖由 mother904 於 09-1-20 14:06 發表
ac321,

If your husband don't feel like to visit his parent, you do not have any obligation to force him to do so. Unless you feel like to spend your time with your parent-in-law, otherwise you don't ...

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Ashley0605

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74^#

發表於 09-1-20 14:33 |只看該作者

原帖由 mother904 於 09-1-20 14:06 發表
ac321,

If your husband don't feel like to visit his parent, you do not have any obligation to force him to do so. Unless you feel like to spend your time with your parent-in-law, otherwise you don't ...

I agree! Afterall they're his parents and let him take the initiative. For the CNY, I think two days will be enough, late 30 and either 1st or 2nd.
ac321, do not force anyone including yourself. Do whatever you feel comfortable.

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75^#

發表於 09-1-20 14:42 |只看該作者

May be I will choose 1 day to have dinner with my 62 99 (myself). I won't take my 2 kids there. It is because my 62 99 don't like my kids.

P.S.
Last year, we eat in the resturtant with 62 99 (and my kids). Some relatives (my 62's relative, I don't know them) sat next to our table. (they are my 99's relative) Then, they started talking........

relative: Are the babies your grandsons?
62 99: yes, the younger one and the elder one.
relative: He is so Q. From his eyes (pointing at my son), he must be very clever.
Then, my 62 99 showed their 'black' face and stop talking with them............ And those relative know they said something wrong and stop talking with 62 99 then.

原帖由 konnichi 於 09-1-20 14:15 發表
ac321,

I also agree with mother904. Being a daugther-in-law, you have already encouraged your husband to visit his mom, if he is not willing to do so, it is not your problem.

You can just go back t ...

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76^#

發表於 09-1-20 14:48 |只看該作者

How about I eat in late 30 with 99's families myself. And then visit them on 1st of CNY with my 2 kids (but don't have dinner with them)?

原帖由 Ashley0605 於 09-1-20 14:33 發表

I agree! Afterall they're his parents and let him take the initiative. For the CNY, I think two days will be enough, late 30 and either 1st or 2nd.
ac321, do not force anyone including yourse ...

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發表於 09-1-20 14:51 |只看該作者

I don't know I am forcing myself or not.
Sometimes, when I think that if one day, my son (or daughter in law) don't want to visit me or having dinner with me, what will be my feeling???
Then, I will be OK and feel comfortable even I don't like my 99.

原帖由 Ashley0605 於 09-1-20 14:33 發表

ac321, do not force anyone including yourself. Do whatever you feel comfortable

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KT0603

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發表於 09-1-20 15:16 |只看該作者

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Ashley0605

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79^#

發表於 09-1-20 16:03 |只看該作者

原帖由 ac321 於 09-1-20 14:51 發表
I don't know I am forcing myself or not.
Sometimes, when I think that if one day, my son (or daughter in law) don't want to visit me or having dinner with me, what will be my feeling???
Then, I will ...

May be when I become 99 one day, I don't want my son and 新抱to visit so often coz I don't want to do the cooking and cleaning! :evil:

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女王大人