I could have written this post myself. My case is very similar to yours but the main differences are 1. The house belongs to and is paid for by my hubby and 2. My MIL is a widow. At first it seemed so perfect: MIL doing all the housework, MIL has a job that keeps her busy, her giving us space, bigger space, could help with kids, etc. But the reality is very different from expectations. Merely 2 years into the marriage, she retired and started using her cooking and housework as leverage to control us (eg which type of fruit can only be eaten at a certain time of the day) and she became irritated if we prefer doing housework our way (eg me doing my hubby’s laundry and didn’t need her). After kids it got even worse but we can’t just move out coz the place isn’t hers.
My husband has his own property and so do I. Of coz the size is much smaller. We have also hired a maid now so i hope everything will go smoothly. So far, we hv stayed tgt for a year and it seems fine. I think staying tgt makes us more dependent on my husband’s family but at the same time we hv almost no financial burden. So i guess its something that I have to compromise. If anything goes wrong, I think i hv the guts to move out. I once stayed in a hotel coz i have a fight with my husband. My parents in law didnt say anything. I hv strong personality even in front of my parents in law, i doubt they can control me.
I m sad to hear about your experience though. What is your plan now as your mother in law is controlling.
My husband has his own property and so do I. Of coz the size is much smalle ...
I hope it keeps going well for you coz it’s not easy. We’ve actually moved out of HK (for me partially it is to escape from her) but now we created another problem as a result: we can’t sell/rent the house in hk coz she’s living there and in the country we are in now we need to get a bigger place to accommodate for her occasional but lengthy visits. So ya living with her creates a lot of financial burden.