i am sorry to hear so many sad stories! I have no idea what u gels can do, but the best method would be moved out la.
I am lucky enough to have a pair of very nice parents in law! My 62 loves to do all the hse work and cooking when he is in HK even we have a domestic helper!~~ my 99 is a retired teacher, she does not care any hse work or cooking work:). and they bought us an apartment as wedding gift!~~
wish u all have a better relationship with 62 n 99 la!