When I got married, I planned to have a baby two years later and then another one two years later. I have read some books and believed that I knew quite a number of scientific methods in facilitating the plan, like taking body temp. However, I had waited for a year but still failed. Eventually, I got pregnant but I had a miscarriage when it's about 8 weeks. Although rationally I understood it was good since God would not give us "bad" thing (for the baby had not developed well, so miscarriage), I had to take some time to recover "emotionally". When I saw babies, I admired their mothers very much that they had their babies........
It took another year before I was pregnant again (during that year, I had to visit the doctor every month, taking pills to stimulate ovulation). You know, this time, I was much more disappointed every month when M came since I had done what I could do, including seeking for doctor's assistance. But one can do nothing (in fact, had done all we can do) but waiting for Him.
When I looked back now, there are so many blessings that are beyond my expectations : during that year when I was pregnant, the mortgage interest rate dropped so we got "extra" money for the baby. Having had a miscarriage, I would not take it for granted for having a baby. More importantly, I realize and experience that God is almighty. Very often, we have plans for ourselves and ignore God. We are always asking God to help make our dreams come true but don't want to follow His way. In this case, I fully understand my pride and foolishness. No matter how well I plan, God is the one who gives and takes.
You know, because of the pregnancy, I missed the chance of being promoted. But, I asked myself at that time and now : if I was given a chose between promotion or pregnancy, what will I choose. Sisters, you know my answer.
I am now planning to have another baby. I don't know whether He will give us one. We'll do our best and let God do the rest. Will wait.......
I married for several year and wanted to have BB but not successful. At that time, I was not a Christian yet. When the 牧師asked me to belive God, he asked me to try to pray for the God and see how truthful he is. He said try to pray for one thing that be very clear that its his 大能to make it. I pray for a baby boy and he should look like my husband to have a strong body and big eyes.
Several weeks later, my M stopped, I was so happy and went to see doctor. Doctor was so nervous and told me that I might got a tumor im my 子宮. He referred me to the hospital and the x-ray centre to check. The next day, I went to the x-ray centre to have the ultra sound check, report came out that I really got a big tumor and no baby was found.
Doctor said that I need to take the operation as soon as possible and do not think about having baby at that time. I was so upset and mad about God. I told my husband that if this God is not true and real, why I would find a tumor and probably I could not carry a baby anymore, only after I prayed from him. If he is true and real, why he does not give me what I want but just the 苦難that I could not handled. My husband kneel down and prayed for me. I refused this as I could not accept a God like this!
In the hospital, when I saw the prengance women, I was really so jealous about them and hate God. I was thinking my lonely future, without my lovely baby to love and should be alone all my life. I found life was meaningless...........
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