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mfkhung


別墅

積分: 927


21#
發表於 05-11-19 00:06 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

hahaicebb,

Forget what your mum said to you. Your own future is in your own hand. You are now 28, you don't have much time to wait. If you have found somebody you love just go ahead! Otherwise, you would be regret!

She cares about you but she cares more about herself!

Not every parents in the world is great. Some of them are really mean. They raise children just for their own future. I heard a lot of these negative stories. A friend of mine had a similar situation like you. She did as what her mum wanted---staying home for a few more years....a few more years....a few more years... Now she is still single because her ex-boy friend left and she cannot find another one. She did not blame her mum. But her mum said 'oh! That must be your own faith!' My friend got really hurt after hearing that! Her mum then said ' You could not have to listen to me! You are free now! Pick any guy you like!' As a friend I really feel very sorry for her. She is now still staying with her mum. Her mum is very happy, playing mohjong everyday, keep asking for a bigger flat to live, not worrying about her own future because she is sure my friend could not find a guy since she is a hard working person and turned to 45 last month!



Another friend of mine: her mum got divorced when my friend was 26. Her mum hated her husband very much and asked my friend to give 200000 to his husband so that he could leave. My friend did not have much money. In fact, she had a flat with her mum, so her mum asked her to further mortage the flat. After her mum got FREE. But she did not let go my friend. Whenever my friend wanted to bring her boy friend home she was not happy. Her mum remind my friend she is the only child she has. She is her daughter and son, she needs to take care of her for the rest of her life! If she wanted to get marry, her husband must need to stay with her. My friend is still looking for somebady who could stay with her mum! She is now 48!!!

Time flies. But chances do not come as fast as time. Once you missed it, it may take you the rest of your life to wait for another chance to come.

I am a 42 years old married woman. Touch wood I have a happy family with a 10 years old son. When I talked to my old friends and knowing they are still spending hoildays on their own or with their beloved mum I really feel sorry for them! I think all these girls are very nice and with a very kind heart they deserve more than that.

Take care!
私人傳訊

hahaicebbb


複式洋房

積分: 234


22#
發表於 05-11-19 12:38 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

多謝大家

其實我都唔知係我自私定我媽自私

媽咪份工月入$8000-9000. 我每月俾$3000佢. 好多時匯給細佬既錢我都無問佢取回,o個度都大大話話$50000. 之前媽咪同細佬既移民批左,律師費移民費機票全部都係我自動俾,o個度都$50000以上(當時我仲係剛剛出來工作一兩年).

有一次我幫佢匯左$20000給細佬,同佢講左呢幾個月俾家用,費事佢開票轉來轉去俾返我咁煩. 點知佢就o係親戚面前話我無俾家用.
仲有佢成都覺得我係唔顧家.當日移民係我一個人親自同細佬去外地settle down. 我讀書咁耐,一蚊都無用過佢.睇醫生,做手術都全部靠自己安排.
唔通就係因為我$3000家用太少,不足人工一半就當我係唔顧家?! 我媽美其名話要我一半人工係幫我儲,但我知佢根本就唔係一個識理財既人. 如果唔係我自己儲著d錢,邊得黎成日幾萬幾萬咁俾出黎

當年我媽佢自己亦曾因外婆要佢顧家而不太高興佢嫁(當年我媽23歲嫁,下有7個弟妹).點解今日佢又一樣成日俾壓力我.

我媽佢又成日話佢減人工,又講電話時大大聲同朋友講第時遇左去老人院,又o係親戚面前叫我幫多幾年先至嫁...
宜家我見到佢,真係好似見到"壓力"兩個字咁.
私人傳訊

麟媽媽


王國長老

積分: 87223

好媽媽勳章 王國長老


23#
發表於 05-11-19 12:58 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

咁你keep住婚後每月比番$3000咪得囉。
其實如果你同媽媽一齊住比$3000都是比自己住宿罷！
你出去租間房+燈油火蠟都唔止$3000喇。
我屋企6個女，個個嫁左都唔會減家用的，
我地細個父母養大我地都無計較過喇，
你媽咪仲係單親，一個女人帶大兩個唔易架。
私人傳訊

princess_mama


男爵府

積分: 5885


24#
發表於 05-11-19 13:02 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

Agree :mrgreen:

麟媽媽 寫道:
咁你keep住婚後每月比番$3000咪得囉。
其實如果你同媽媽一齊住比$3000都是比自己住宿罷！
你出去租間房+燈油火蠟都唔止$3000喇。
我屋企6個女，個個嫁左都唔會減家用的，
我地細個父母養大我地都無計較過喇，
你媽咪仲係單親，一個女人帶大兩個唔易架。

私人傳訊

DoReMi媽媽


象牙宮

積分: 230699

母親節2025勳章 2025勳章 2025勳章蛇年勳章 2018復活節勳章 醒目開學勳章 15週年勳章 親子王國15週年勳章 親子王國15週年勳章


25#
發表於 05-11-19 13:03 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

其實, 講真一句, 我覺得你同你媽咪都係同一類人~係識得為自己打算同保護自己o既人, 你有你o既道理, 佢亦有佢o既原因, 係咁樣o既情形下, 只有同佢坦白講出你已經拍拖, 亦有結婚打算, 睇下佢想點? (如果可以照俾番咁多家用佢就最好啦! 亦可以當派咗定心丸俾佢.) 佢贊成o既~就好辦啦! 佢唔贊成o既~我相信你都唔會為咗佢而磋跎你自己o既歲月(亦都唔需要為咗頭家而犧牲自己幸福), 只不過, 可以o既話, 儘可能俾到家用佢, 等佢可以唔駛憂柴憂米, 畢竟, 點唔着佢都係你媽咪o麻! 樹欲靜而風不息, 子欲養而親不在......
私人傳訊

abk


大宅

積分: 1825


26#
發表於 05-11-19 13:29 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

hahaicebbb

無意中睇到你的"壓力".
我不知詳細底蘊, 但我覺得你是最清楚你阿媽是什麼人, 我們只是從你的文字去猜度, 是對你和你媽媽是不公平的.

但如果一個人在夜晚睡覺時間, 可以講電話講到是騷擾人, 我覺是自私的行為.
大聲講的目的, 是想你聽又好, 想煩你又好, 都係自私.

有些人是永無厭足的, 一個人對另一個人的要求更是可以不斷提升的. 如果這個人覺得他是對你有功勞, 就更加不識節制, 是永遠欠他的, 永遠是填不滿他的要求. 我不知你媽媽是否這樣的人.

我覺得你自問已經盡心為家庭付出, 但卻聽到媽媽的不認同, 我是你都會好心up, 要我做成點先滿足? 就算做了, 如果是自私的人, 仍有別的要求時, 我還可做甚麼? 這些壓力, 要放下來, 要釋放的話, 積極的, 是可以大家坐下來傾, 是否有傾得來的空間, 就只有你自己最清楚.

如果比人工一半她就可以解決問題, 一個母親的安全感就是要子女給予一半的薪金就可滿足, 錢比子女的真心和無條件的愛和尊敬心更有安全感的話, 我會問, 為什麼我阿媽會將錢看得比我更重要? 很可悲!

你有跟你的男友說過你同媽媽的關係, 他知道你媽媽對你的要求嗎? 我覺得要說個清楚, 也可以多些了解你男友的睇法, 看他對你的壓力的關心程度, 也可知道他對你重視.



當年我和老公拍拖一年, 我們預算給大家4年時間, 但他見過我阿媽的"羅梳"麻煩和家裡多多禁忌, 而我一家包括老豆, 個個都就晒慈禧太后式的專權, 我老公話要第二日就同我註冊, 我唔制, 因為我知我媽只係麻煩, 但係出於愛錫而不是自私, 就因為老豆係個無主見又膽小的人, 如果不是阿媽夠硬朗, 我想像不到日子會是如何. 他們無要求仔女報答, 我結左婚之後, 我只是過時過節比錢父母, 我們隔星期回娘家探他們, 他們好開心, 錢係不會同他們傾偈的, 不會問候和關心他們的.

做你自己認為最舒服的決定吧.
有些事情是我們改變不到的, 但我們可以改變自己. 調整一下心情, 會有另一番感受, 從另角度看看自己, 會有新的領會. 我們旁人只能說說自己的想法和經驗, 但不能左右你做你覺得舒懷的安排.

私人傳訊

Evea


別墅

積分: 692


27#
發表於 05-11-20 21:17 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

Agree
DoReMi媽媽 寫道:
其實, 講真一句, 我覺得你同你媽咪都係同一類人~係識得為自己打算同保護自己o既人, 你有你o既道理, 佢亦有佢o既原因, 係咁樣o既情形下, 只有同佢坦白講出你已經拍拖, 亦有結婚打算, 睇下佢想點? (如果可以照俾番咁多家用佢就最好啦! 亦可以當派咗定心丸俾佢.) 佢贊成o既~就好辦啦! 佢唔贊成o既~我相信你都唔會為咗佢而磋跎你自己o既歲月(亦都唔需要為咗頭家而犧牲自己幸福), 只不過, 可以o既話, 儘可能俾到家用佢, 等佢可以唔駛憂柴憂米, 畢竟, 點唔着佢都係你媽咪o麻! 樹欲靜而風不息, 子欲養而親不在......

(1)每個月都只係俾$3000家用,真係出去住都唔得啦.
(2)另外俾個十幾萬,你媽咪養你咁多年都唔止啦.
(3)如果當年妳媽咪唔係為左你地2個,都可能再嫁人,
宜家唔洗捱添啦 .
(4)夜晚講電話大聲,首先唔清楚你媽咪會否年紀大(因為日捱夜捱)所以聽力會差d,相對講電話會大聲左.亦唔清楚,你叫佢細聲d讓電話既時候係什麼態度
(5)至於你媽咪唔想你結婚 真係唔知囉,因為你拍左一年拖,都冇同你媽咪講過,佢同d親戚朋友講話想你幫多幾年,可能係費事話俾人聽你冇拖拍(佢以為)呢?又或者想俾你聽吓?
等你話佢聽你拍緊拖
仲知最緊要係你地2個溝通吓先啦
私人傳訊

siuwa


大宅

積分: 1824


28#
發表於 05-12-2 15:25 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

其實2母女點解唔直接d, 你同佢講: 我識左個男仔, 想大家見下, 因為我未見過佢屋企人, 而佢又未見過你, 想玩日大家一起出來吃下飯好唔好?

你唔話比佢知自己走左去結婚, 好唔尊重老人家哦, 點都好, 佢都養大左你. 以前未結婚我地都係比50%人工阿媽, 不過結婚後我有小朋友同冇做嘢, 阿媽已經唔收我任何錢. 何必而家又搞壞關係, 第2時你嫁左你就知阿媽係最好既啦, 到時你想返轉頭就好難.....
私人傳訊

丁丁


民房

積分: 35


29#
發表於 05-12-2 17:53 |只看該作者

Re: 母親唔俾個女嫁!

我覺得你應該同你男朋友先溝通一下, 大家取得共識想幾時結婚, 然後再同你媽咪坦誠談談. 你已經是成年人, 同男友決定了幾時結婚就幾時結婚啦, 現在很多女孩都找不到對象, 所以遇到合意的人千萬不要錯過, 況且你男友年紀都不少, 等得幾多年? 媽咪反對都不用理她, 結了婚後一樣要按自己的能力給她家用的, 這是應該的. 其實這樣一樣可以幫輕她, 沒必要犧牲自己的幸福.

私人傳訊


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