我果位白痴到依家來咗7個月仍然未識煑飯,教咗2、30道菜,有時叫佢諗下煑乜,佢就次次"阿蒸魚"同"阿煎魚"take turn,教過果2、30道菜好似完全無教過咁,迫佢煑返一款教過嘅菜,佢就煑到一pat嘢咁(最慘我成家都唔肯食,佢食喎!佢完全唔覺難食喎!佢自己對食都無要求,乜都擺得落口,佢點會諗點煑好d食物?)。好!佢唔識煑,我煑,佢就企晌我身邊一碌葛咁"遞鑊剷"、"遞筷子"、"遞糖"、"遞鹽"。最大問題係我無叫佢"遞"佢喺度"遞",有時又"估"我要乜"遞"d我唔要嘅嘢比我!仲要"雙手"遞比我!一係就問我"turn on the fire? mum! "然後一馬當先攝隻手過嚟開爐!肥媽做烹飪節目都唔洗6號咁幫啦!肥媽叫到幫手做,6號都做得好過我屋企呢件廢人!
次次同佢講嘢,都唔明佢嗡乜?因為:1) 發音差;2) 好!發音差,咪估佢講乜囉,但估都估唔到,因為佢會問啲無厘頭野,或Not the right time ask the right thing(如果唔配合個時間同環境根本唔明佢講咩?) 3) 無頭無尾,完全唔會交代原因,發生過乜事,就無端端問你一句野。4) 無complete sentence。
今朝咋!Day One我叫佢每朝去屋苑門口攞免費報紙。今朝無端端問我:I take newspaper? 我初初以為自己聽錯,不過又知佢成日無厘頭,所以我問佢:You have to go to take newspaper everyday, I don't know why you asked me this question?
佢答我:You didn't read newspaper these two days. 我心諗,真係痴痴地嘅!我無睇兩日報紙,乜會構成佢唔洗去攞報紙嘅理由咩?佢攞咗返嚟,我有時間睇咪睇囉,我唔得閒咪唔睇咯!正常人突然比佢咁問:I take newspaper? 呢一句理唔理解到佢想講咩?
一係我出街返屋企打開道門連鞋都未除,佢就問:Ingredient for soup? 原來佢問今日煲湯落乜嘢材料,果陣係晏晝兩點鐘!鞋都未除問呢d?發瘟!遲啲先問係唔係唔得?係唔係遲咗問今晚無得飲,發神經!
我地朝早食早餐通常係通粉/班㦸/粟米片/三文治/多士,是但一樣,佢可以朝頭早左手攞住一罐朱古力醬,右手攞住一罐花生醬,問我個仔:This or this? 我個仔完全唔知佢嗡乜?問佢:What do you mean? 佢話:Breakfast! Breakfast! 我個仔R哂頭,唔知佢想講乜?我問佢:Are you going to make toast to him, so, you want to ask what favorite does he want? Right? 佢儍婆咁仍然不停答我:Breakfast!Breakfast! 仍然都唔知自己嘅問題嘅邊?我同佢話:Can you speak complete sentence next time? And tell why you asked that? Like this time, you can ask him, "I want to make toast to you, what topping do you want? "我諗我睇手語都容易明過理解佢講嘢!