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發表於 09-12-27 17:57 |只看該作者 |倒序瀏覽 |打印

My maid has been working for us for 6 years, I have been using her even before I got married. Now I have a 4 years old daughter and she has been taking care of her and us since she's born. She used to be very good, ie. honest, loves my girl, cares about us. We basically treat her like part of our family and even bring her to different places for holiday, including Phuket, Cebu, Singapore... stay in all 5 stars hotels with us, order any food for her as she likes with room service. I gave her tons of clothes every year, some of them even brands and never wear.

However, she slowly changed. She becomes lazy about cleaning, I have cats so intensive cleaning is necessary(well, maybe she's getting older now - 43) my place is full of dust, the side of my bed, the wooden blinds....everywhere....even my desk, there was times that my coffee spilled on my desk, the mark was sitting there for more than a month. The clothes that I have changed were sitting on my chair for weeks without being tidy up/ washed....etc. If I told her to do things ie. ask her to tidy up my wore clothes sitting on my chair, she would tell me she's too busy....the clothes inside my drawer are always wrinkled, I can't even pull one out and put it on immediately. I told her to tidy my drawers she said she's too busy...so I did it myself and told her that I have done it and pls keep it how it is. She answered me that 'It's still full!' And I was really upset, so I told her it's not about full or not, but tidy it. Then she has a long face. She never showed me long face before, but in the past year, she has been showing me a lot of long face.

Honestly, we are a family with two adults and a 4 years old kid, and my kid goes to school for 3 hours a day. We dun eat breakfast and lunch at home but just dinner. You know what, now I have to hire part time maid to do the house cleaning twice a week to keep it how I want!

Whenever we have longer holidays, she asks to go back home (on her own expenses) In 2009, she went back 3 times!! Including Christmas holiday! She has been sick lately and went to the hospital for three nights....they found she has 2 uterine fibroids (big ones) which press against her bladder which causing her a difficulty to release urine and she needs to use tubes to release it sometimes....but she refused to do surgery... anyways, she was worry and crying... I told her that I will take care of her if she needs to do surgery, dun worry, just a few weeks you will be healthy again....but seems surgery is not what she wants.

Anyway, back to her attitude, she shows an annoying facial gesture to me when I told her to do things especially cleaning and tidying up things in the house. I just duno what to do....should I let her go or talk to her seriously? But I duno how to tell her and with what attitude....moms, please help.

[ 本帖最後由 Danielle 於 10-3-29 12:07 編輯 ]

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發表於 09-12-27 18:02 |只看該作者

Or am I too demanding?

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SandraLo

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發表於 09-12-27 19:53 |只看該作者

原帖由 Danielle 於 09-12-27 18:02 發表
Or am I too demanding?

會唔會係搏炒想攞長期服務金？

教仔心得：媽咪容易犯的錯誤
http://www.baby-kingdom.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=951856&extra=&page=1

成日話「讚」可以改正小朋友壞行為，到底點解同點讚？
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com//v ... page%3D1&page=1

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MITCHmama

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發表於 09-12-28 15:07 |只看該作者

I think that's because she is getting old and you probably need a new one!
I had 1 helper around 45 and she was very slow and always forgot things. And the worst was....it seems like I am asking for too much if I would like her to do some of her duties.
Their body is worning out much faster than we thought....so, I think 40 years old is the limited.

超級貪靚敗家媽媽一個...........

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foggyao

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發表於 09-12-28 17:07 |只看該作者

原帖由 MITCHmama 於 09-12-28 15:07 發表
I think that's because she is getting old and you probably need a new one!
I had 1 helper around 45 and she was very slow and always forgot things. And the worst was....it seems like I am asking for t ...

I think you should let her back to her own country, to her family.

she must feel tired and sad because of her illness, they dont like to visit a doctor even light illness, a surgery must scared her. if i were her, i feel super worry(not only sickness but her job also). so does she's unhappy as she still need to do lots of households, emotion must be unstable, which is she cant control.

She must needs some more caring..., btw, in employer's side, we just want someone to keeps everything alright, so, if an employee got sick (long term), i must let her go. She is really good to you indeed, then, i will explain to her throughly that i'm not really want to lay-off her but i really need a person that can handle all the things, and i will pay more than usual MUST expenses (air-ticket, immediately leave 1 mth salary...).

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史科菲

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發表於 09-12-28 17:32 |只看該作者

May be she thought you can't live without her as you have been hiring here before you got married and taking care of your girl since she is nb. If i were you, i will hire a new one.

Always remember that maid come to make money and not making friends 係唔會同你講感情.

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BBTWIN

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發表於 09-12-28 18:07 |只看該作者

有冇可能自己湊返??你個女同我個女甘大, 自己湊返唔會難. 43歲賓都唔珍惜甘好既工. 講真佢可能都係想唔做返歸架啦. 佢唔做都好難再搵工. 冇咩人敢請大年紀既工人. 我果件今年都40, 又係越黎越懶. 我個女話比我聽佢成日發脾氣同講電話. 我真係覺得自己唔續佢約係明智之舉

.睇下佢成40歲仲有冇人請. 佢巳經開始搵工, 各位見到40歲既工人千奇唔好請, 我唔想各位貼錢買難受

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BBTWIN

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發表於 09-12-28 18:12 |只看該作者

佢走之後我會報上佢個名, 佢未走我唔想講太多. 見差唔多40歲搵工就小心d.

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mrshoho

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發表於 09-12-28 23:37 |只看該作者

must find a new maid, the point of hiring a maid is to keep your house clean and tidy, and you now have to hire a part time helper to do that, then you don't need to keep her anymore, just find another one or keep using the part time helping will do

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發表於 09-12-29 11:34 |只看該作者

I am also thinking about find a younger maid, but I worry the new one may not love my girl like her coz I have to work. Also, that's seem a bit cruel to her since she is sick .... I feel very uneasy....do you moms think she may change if we talk to her seriously or her energy is basically wore out?

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cyl299

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發表於 09-12-29 13:52 |只看該作者

I think you should change to a younger maid. Your maid is sick and she probably wants to go home to be with her family. Don't feel bad about it just because she's sick. When she leave after this contract she'll get the long service payment from you which should compensate her. If you still feel bad then give her a bonus. As an employer you need someone who can help you and to take liability off you.

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發表於 10-1-16 17:46 |只看該作者

want to update the case a bit...went to see doctor with her again in public hospital this Tue, the doctor said she urgently needs urgery...like within two months...because the fibroid has grown from 5cm in mid Dec to 9cm in mid Jan... she seems not willing, so the doctor gave her two weeks to think about it. After that, I brought her to my O&G doctor yesterday for his advice, he was a very gentle doctor but he was mad at her, lecturing her for almost 45mins which I never seen he's being mad before. She needs to reply the public hospital on 26th Jan for her decision, if she doesn't make a sensible decision, I will let her go, but I am afriad she may sue me. Also, my hubby said if she doesn't want to do the surgery, will let her finish contract and not renew. God, her contract will only expire in Dec this year....it's 10 more months, I doubted she can live that long ar......

[ 本帖最後由 Danielle 於 10-1-16 17:48 編輯 ]

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eatcookies

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發表於 10-1-16 20:18 |只看該作者

I think you should give her a letter notice, demand her to take the surgery, or it will constitute willing disobedience of employer's reasonable direction, you will seriously consider firing her. Ask her to write her reply on the notice in her own words, whether or not she is going to take the surgery and why. Keep the notice.

And if she insists not to do the surgery, you could ask a doctor friend to write you a certificate certifying she has XXX problem, she has indicated refusal to surgery, in doctor's opinion is "unfit for further service". You have this cert you can end the contract.

While she is sick, it is risky to fire her without any proof, coz she will sue you and say you fire her because she is ill. You should get more evidence to show the judge she has health problem, you are willing to take her on, give time and money for her to take the surgery, but she refused, and her condition as-is is no good to continue with her job, you have no choice but to end it like this.

However, I think no matter what, the last day of the existing contract should definitely be the last day of work in your house. I think basically she has 2 issues: 1/ worked too long in your family, she is not scared about losing the job, she regarded herself too highly in the family, so cannot upkeep her performance 2/ her age and health makes her unsuitable for working as DH any longer

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pollyw

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發表於 10-1-16 20:45 |只看該作者

I pity you the thread starter for your situation. If she isn't sick the problem can be easily solved by terminating her while paying the long service payment she's entitled. Frankly, whether she opts to do surgery may not affect much about her ability to work as normal in the coming 10 months. The more important is: she has the right to her own personal decision (surgery or not), which is personal and you cannot compel anyway.

If she doesn't go for surgery, yes, her health will be getting worse.

If she undergoes surgery, she would recover. Mind you, surgery is risk contained and the world's full of unexpecteds...! Even if she recovers gradually, in the months that come she may need to bed rest or take sick leave, (which doesn't make much difference cuz her existence by then will be a liability to your family). So don't bother yourself to convince her to undergo surgery. I think you are left with not many choices (cuz in the end you are going to lose some money one way or teh other). but given so much limitation under the law, you can try to analyse it to her seriously and sincerely.

Have heard a similar case that happened with another BK mom here. That mom offered the sick maid to do surgeries and let her go home (Philippine) taking sick leaves (with salary payment following the Labour ORdinance) which will be only halfly or two-thirdly paid if sick leave is taken up to a certain limit. Better check it out! ). When the maid totally recovered and returned to the employer (no sickness at all), the mom terminated the maid. This might be a better choice among the limited choices left for you.

But, of course, it would be simple to have herself quitting the job (that is, she resigns) and to negotiate with her a price (in addition to the long service payment she's entitled) at which she is willing to go. But this point is rather difficult. With this, negotiation skill is highly called for. HAve to be cautious that you do not cross the line of the ordinance, and your position is to reach mutual agreement between the two sides, yet without any sign of compelling or urging on your side.

Wish you can have this resolved very soon!

[ 本帖最後由 pollyw 於 10-1-16 23:10 編輯 ]

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pollyw

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發表於 10-1-16 20:53 |只看該作者

[quote]原帖由 eatcookies 於 10-1-16 20:18 發表

"unfit for further service".[/quote]

This is very good point, but I doubt whether doctors actually issue such certificates so easily.

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akycheung

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發表於 10-1-16 23:49 |只看該作者

The doctor will not write this kind of wording, they will said she is fit for work (I have a case before), it is much more better because I can terminate her right now.

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發表於 10-1-21 16:00 |只看該作者

I called the Labour Dept. They said I can terminate her by compensating her as what the law required. But whether she will sue me for discrimination is another story......why like that....we really have no protection from the government. In this case, I m even willing to pay for all her medical expenses but it's her decision for not getting treated....and I AM RESPONSIBLE?????? I discriminate? Gosh.....god bless us employers.

[ 本帖最後由 Danielle 於 10-1-21 16:02 編輯 ]

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coolche

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發表於 10-1-21 18:05 |只看該作者

Danielle, I think you are a super kind and high tolerance employer already. From what you have said, you have been treating her extremely well and seems she is taking advantage of your kindness. Cleaning the house is her basic duty, how could she not do it well and require you to hire a part-time to do the work - this is completely unaccetable already. My maid has been with me for 3 years already and her bad habits started to apprear right after the contract was renewed. she was really good in the first two years and that's why we renewed her ... I really regret! Her irresponsbilities are driving me crazy. One night simply because she was sleepy herself, she did not feed my baby girl who was only 8 months old. One other time, my baby also suffocated because she was left alone on the bed while the maid was using her phone for personal use. I really think we employers should not treat the maids too well, they will not treasure it and treat us well in return. They just want money!

I think you should encourage or even force her to proceed with the surgery and then terminate her contract. I doubt she is fit to continue working for you with the optimum standards.

Better protect yourself!

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