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Catvole


男爵府

積分: 7184


1#
發表於 11-1-19 19:36 |只看該作者
I & my hubby have good relationship and great sex......but he dislikes physical touch like holding hands, cuddling,.....which makes me feel bad sometimes....

Any suggestion to improve this?
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全為愛


水晶宮

積分: 58480


2#
發表於 11-1-20 00:43 |只看該作者
原帖由 Catvole 於 11-1-19 19:36 發表
I & my hubby have good relationship and great sex......but he dislikes physical touch like holding hands, cuddling,.....which makes me feel bad sometimes....

Any suggestion to improve this? :questio ...


Catvole,

Why it makes you feel bad?
Because of his action of refusal that hurts you?
Or because "physical touch" means something to you e.g. his LOVE, and hence you think he doesn't love you enough if he dislikes physical touch?
Or some other reasons?

Do you know why he dislikes it?

Have you ever read this book?
<The 5 Love Languages, the secret to love that lasts> by Gary Chapman
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Catvole


男爵府

積分: 7184


3#
發表於 11-1-20 10:29 |只看該作者
Hi 全為愛

Yea....sometimes i doubt and I feel my emotional need not being fulfilled. And sometimes i just want to hold back my affection when facing such an insensitive man

I have read the book. His way of loving is more on "Gift" and "Act of Service" and I offer and expect "Words of Affirmation" and "hysical Touch".......hahahh.....is that the typical difference between men and women?
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9bone


大宅

積分: 2097


4#
發表於 11-1-20 16:37 |只看該作者
All along like this?
Did he hold your hand before marriage？ i.e when "pak tall"

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Catvole


男爵府

積分: 7184


5#
發表於 11-1-20 17:20 |只看該作者
Yes, he is always like that, before and after marriage. He seldoms takes the lead but he doesn't reject if i hold his hands...He is those traditional man who dislikes showing his emotion and affection.



原帖由 9bone 於 11-1-20 16:37 發表
All along like this?
Did he hold your hand before marriage？ i.e when "pak tall"
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Catvole


男爵府

積分: 7184


6#
發表於 11-1-20 17:21 |只看該作者
I know it is not a big big problem....but I wish to get advice in improving it....as i feel the avoid in my heart is getting bigger n bigger....

[ 本帖最後由 Catvole 於 11-1-20 18:45 編輯 ]
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全為愛


水晶宮

積分: 58480


7#
發表於 11-1-20 18:57 |只看該作者
Catvole,

Can you accept him as who he is? the traditional and insensitive type

BTW, I can understand how you feel ...... cos' physical touch is my love language, too!!

Think about this ...... you just take the lead (hold his hands, hug him, kiss him, rub his shoulder, etc) and express to him in words that you feel great and loved by connecting with him like this. And then you express your appreciation and gratitude in words for his willingness to do this with you. See how he responds and reacts. Remember, word of affirmation is his love language!!!
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9bone


大宅

積分: 2097


8#
發表於 11-1-21 11:23 |只看該作者
On the good side, you should be happy because he won't touch another woman.
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Catvole


男爵府

積分: 7184


9#
發表於 11-1-21 11:59 |只看該作者
wow....how u know his love language is affirmaton? yea....let me try this and see how he responses. Thanks very much for the reco

原帖由 全為愛 於 11-1-20 18:57 發表
Catvole,

Can you accept him as who he is? the traditional and insensitive type

BTW, I can understand how you feel ...... cos' physical touch is my love language, too!!

Think about this ...... you j ...
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Catvole


男爵府

積分: 7184


10#
發表於 11-1-21 12:03 |只看該作者
hahaha.....this is how i comfort myself too.

I guess so far the best thing is I still believe in our love and I treasure his offering though it's not what I exactly want..... if not the trust will be gone and so the love....

Add Oil!!!!!

原帖由 9bone 於 11-1-21 11:23 發表
On the good side, you should be happy because he won't touch another woman.
私人傳訊

全為愛


水晶宮

積分: 58480


11#
發表於 11-1-21 12:32 |只看該作者
原帖由 Catvole 於 11-1-21 11:59 發表
wow....how u know his love language is affirmaton? yea....let me try this and see how he responses. Thanks very much for the reco


hahaha ...... just guessing!

Well, actually I have a rationale for this: you mentioned that his way of loving is more on "Gift" and "Act of service", I think both of them have common nature (i.e. offerings). Does he offer you gift and act of service? Or you think he expects gift and service? Well, anyway, I am just assuming here that he makes the offerings. Then, I am thinking he might have an emotional need for something that he thinks he might be able to receive in return by offering gifts and helps to you. And "appreciation" pops out of my mind. Actually, man craves for appreciation from the woman he loves. Therefore, I am trying to combine your love language with his (men's) emotional needs and come up with the suggestion above. I think theorectically my suggestion should work.

I hope mine's a good guessing!
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Catvole


男爵府

積分: 7184


12#
發表於 11-1-21 16:31 |只看該作者
BINGO!!!

Yes, he loves my praise and appreciation though he never shows it. I praise him for tiny things even like changing a light bulb......

Will try and let you know if yr suggestion works
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bunnykitty


洋房

積分: 204


13#
發表於 11-1-21 20:29 |只看該作者
Yes. My hubby is a traditonal man too and he is seldom holding my hand after bb born. I think some men express their love in different way, like they share the housework, take care the kid to show their love.. it will be a bit different from what women expect.

I am now trying to hold him and hug him before sleep , first he is not always responding and now he will hug me back. So we can try to step out first. Add oil.
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Catvole


男爵府

積分: 7184


14#
發表於 11-1-24 09:59 |只看該作者
On Sat as usual I took the initiative to hold his hand......and then I said "Honey I like being held by yr big hands which make me feel warm..."...

He had no response initially but then after a while, he squeezed my hand and said "儍鬼"

Yes, let's add oil to fuel the relationship with love and sweetness
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