論盡家傭 今日: 0 | 主題: 134067

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1^#

發表於 06-6-2 01:34 |只看該作者

my helper ask me to release her

事緣食緊晚飯時, helper就同阿仔玩(actually係睇住阿仔玩), 阿仔去touch d "no no"嘅東西, she intended to stop him by saying "if you touch this again, i will not let you play on the floor", 如是者warn咗2次, 到第3次阿仔 did it in purpose again, helper did not stop/warn him but just let him play around. when i corrected her, she just 好"full 顯"咁同阿仔brief2句就抱走阿仔去洗手. in fact, we requested the helper to discipline bb in a way that if bb fail to listen to our instruction, following 3 times warning, we should place bb in the playpan as a punishment.

i found it hard to excute the rules consistenly as the helper always do not respect our rules and always give "chance" to bb, so sometimes bb will expect us (the parents) to react as the helper.
we did have some serious discussions earlier and she promised to stick to our rules. unfortunately, on one hand she said she will follow, indeed she always fail to do so. i strongly requested her to 100% follow our standard/rules to discipline.

i must admitted that 我有積怨 & when i brought the issue again tonite, she said i am v. high standard and ask me to release her

she said i always blame her even she did not follow a little...bb is too young to discipline him like this, we have v. different ways to discipline bb.....and ask me to find another helper who will follow me 100%....

obviously she always fail to listen/follow, however, she treats bb well and bb indeed v. "痴" 佢. i'm v. concern about bb's emotion if this helper had to leave him, will this ruin his 安全感/對人的信任?

just now, we are thinking of whether to give this helper chance so to see if things would work out fine. i'm sure she will still work on her own way. the most important thing, will she still being good to pak him?

if we release her, i have to quit my part-time job and until the new helper arrive and work for certain months.

sorry, too many questions as this issue really bother me a lot :cry:
any suggestion are most welcome, thanks

[img align=left]http://bb5.babyhome.com.tw/UPLOAD4/67882/Signature3.jpg[/img]

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teresadust

積分: 197

2^#

發表於 06-6-2 06:16 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

U can now go to find a new maid and fire the exsisting one when the new one arrived, so that u dont need to quit your current job. As your maid ask u to release her, she wont hv the "heart" to work for u and treat bb in a proper way anymore! Besides that, she is really rude to say so.

About bb's emotion, as many members said b4, it mostly doesn't bother much because bb will forget about her v soon.

A helper is here to help u but not give trouble to u! If she's not up to your standard, she can have chances to improve. However, one's attitude is not easy to change lei

溫和的回答,平息忿怒;激昂的言語,使人動怒。(箴十五1)

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tweetybird

積分: 5929

3^#

發表於 06-6-2 09:16 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

有時唔好叫個工人幫你教仔。工人對個小朋友好就由得她吧，如果唔太過份的話。最緊要係你自己要堅持你的原則，俾個小朋友知道每個人的要求唔同，你亦要同個小朋友得閒傾下計，俾他們知道唔係每個人都會這樣的。

其實我覺得如果你個工人係大事上無問題的話，又照顧得你個仔幾好，如果真係有問題而個工人都會stop個小朋友的話，只不過係一些小事上她唔會，這個只是教仔方法唔同only，但係大事上亦有共識的話，我會tend去留她的。因為我自己知道請個工人回來係幫我照顧個小朋友，我唔係請她幫我教仔，小事我可以隻眼開隻眼閉，最多自己再同個仔講多次，個工人唔會罸的話，咪我自己來啦。

如果你話個小朋友會更喜歡的姐姐，那亦沒法，你望都望個工人對你個仔好啦。小朋友的野，下一次換工人會好快論應的。唔使擔心。

所以你自己要問下你自己個工人係其他方面做唔做到你自己的要求先，又要問下自己請個工人返來做什麼先，有無時下工人的通病如借錢呀，講電話講到唔停得咀呀，比下分，你就會計到要定唔要她了。

私人傳訊

KTMOM

積分: 110

4^#

發表於 06-6-2 09:22 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

紀律對小朋友是重要，但工人和媽媽是絕對做唔到一樣的，你比三次機會仔仔，咁你老公會唔會。工人多數會遷就bb的，因她們相處的時間多，她們唔想關係唔好，多數會放縱bb。媽媽唔同，如果你處罰他，他唔會多憤怒和發脾氣，還會愛同你遊戲，擁抱著你。但工人咁對佢，bb是知的，他會怕怕的和唔多理會的，安全感無。所以教導是自己的，不要太在意這個問題，可以你真的是serious了。你可看看某些書，是教導同小孩說教的技術，你不應給他三次機會，你應該說no, 或者帶他遠離和引他做其他事情，你現在是和他挑戰，(你再試下，再xxxx，我就xxxx，其實他多數會再試給你看) 。你試試現在唔好想著一隻白色老虎。咁你現在是否在腦海中是否已經有一隻白老虎呢? 意思就是她此。

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DoReMi媽媽

象牙宮

積分: 232841

母親節2025勳章 2025勳章蛇年勳章 2018復活節勳章醒目開學勳章 15週年勳章親子王國15週年勳章

5^#

發表於 06-6-2 13:26 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

私人傳訊

DoReMi媽媽

象牙宮

積分: 232841

母親節2025勳章 2025勳章蛇年勳章 2018復活節勳章醒目開學勳章 15週年勳章親子王國15週年勳章

6^#

發表於 06-6-2 13:26 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

如果佢搞得頭家ok, 照顧你bb又ok, 個工人已經係唔錯ga嘞! 只不過佢而家冇配合你嚟教bb, 所以令你有所不滿, 哩啲只係好少事, 好工人難求.
客觀啲諗下, 喺家務同湊bb方面如果佢真係做得好o既, 佢就已經盡咗做helper o既責任, 咁就唔好咁嚴厲話佢, 可以同佢傾, 話希望佢幫你一齊教導bb. 換咗個新工人, 如果個新工人連家務同bb都搞唔好, 咁你更加唔駛旨意佢幫你教bb.

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eemay

積分: 1014

7^#

發表於 06-6-2 13:51 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

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YYB

積分: 1542

8^#

發表於 06-6-2 13:52 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

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eemay

積分: 1014

9^#

發表於 06-6-2 13:53 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

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eemay

積分: 1014

10^#

發表於 06-6-2 13:53 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

everyone has different standard......
To me, as long as the helper can get along with my kid.....and be responsible and good attitude,that's all enough.

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maman

別墅

積分: 543

11^#

發表於 06-6-2 15:31 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

我有差不多的遭遇，舊年我個工人玩野，唔聽我的說話揍ｂｂ，偷食補品，dirty，上網識男人，仲話我unreasonable，比兩個月通知期我辭職。

我話你咁不滿，不如早ｄ走啦，叫佢改一個月通知期。我當晚就去agent找新工人。

點知佢第二日就話想幫我至到有新工人到，我話你唔駛理我啦。跟住佢就話原來佢申請去加拿大，兩個月後才出visa，想做到個陣。我當然唔埋佢啦。

過了兩日，佢話佢好後悔，想同我做番喎，我冇出聲。

在這一個月內，我日日望住佢，因為仲放產假，佢變番好勤力，但係始終表現強差人意。

後來我問佢你張機票出幾號，佢先知到我冇想過請番佢，佢當晚就寫了道歉信放入廚房，我看完後放回原位，當冇看過。

第二日我同佢一齊帶ｂｂ去育嬰園日托，佢先知原來唔駛佢揍ｂｂ，就冇再ai我請番佢，自己執行李，在辭職後一個月就走了。

之後我請了再培訓的姐姐做part-time，等了兩個月，新工人終於來到，呢個工人暫時都好，冇以前個咁賤。

後來我知佢冇去加拿大，返以前個僱主度做，至於佢講的說話，有多少真，我就唔知了，佢後來仲電話騷擾我，打埋ｓａｉ些冇來電顯示的電話然後唔出聲，後來我張屋企電話完全飛入手機，一看見些冇來電號碼的電話就直情按ｎｏ，咁佢就唔再打來了。

我的故事啟發我，個工人以為我一定要靠佢先玩野要辭職，佢想玩我，點知被我玩番佢，不過我個陣都好辛苦。

LucinaYam, 你想想下啦！

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LucindaYam

積分: 286

12^#

發表於 06-6-2 15:49 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

Thanks all mama for your advises. I understand the ultimate responsibility to discipline/教仔 rests with the parents. my boy is only 15 months old, he always challenge our bottom line these days so I have to request the helper be consistent with our rules esp. when we are not around

Overall, this helper is considered acceptable. The major issue is she does not follow our instructions in most aspects. I've been trying my best to好言相勸, I gave her time to ask question, every time she raise no question. she always says ‘yes mum’ but then always fail to do so. When I remind/correct her, she just has different explanations or implied that she was indeed disagreed with me.

As maybe she is nearly 50, its hard for her to change. So I 隻眼開隻眼閉… until I noticed she hug him even 阿仔亂發皮4 . 阿仔cried and screamed even louder, and he expected papa and mama will also react as the helper. When he realised that he did not 得逞, he will get angry with me and look for the helper. I must stopped 阿仔being亂發皮4 so request the helper to discipline according to our way.

KTMOM,
I agreed with your statement
“你不應給他三次機會，你應該說no, 或者帶他遠離和引他做其他事情”
this is what I request the helper to just say “no”, but the helper always use her own version

in fact, can I have the name, publisher of the book? Thanks

[img align=left]http://bb5.babyhome.com.tw/UPLOAD4/67882/Signature3.jpg[/img]

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maman

別墅

積分: 543

13^#

發表於 06-6-2 16:16 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

你個工人的行徑咁似我以前那個？佢又快到５０，又係follow唔到僱主指示，莫非佢去了你那裡？

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AliceTsang

積分: 1183

14^#

發表於 06-6-2 16:24 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

In my opinion, I also request my maid follow MY instruction, and not asking her to agreed. Also, if my maid ask me to realease, I will because she doesn't care her job, will u ask your boss to release U directly ?? ?-( ?-(

Anson在2006年1月29日出世!

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LucindaYam

積分: 286

15^#

發表於 06-6-2 16:26 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

[img align=left]http://bb5.babyhome.com.tw/UPLOAD4/67882/Signature3.jpg[/img]

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mymelody2003

積分: 8643

16^#

發表於 06-6-2 16:27 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

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mymelody2003

積分: 8643

17^#

發表於 06-6-2 16:28 |只看該作者

Re: my helper ask me to release her

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mymelody2003