yes, your price is to loose your friendly relationship w/99, maybe also w/ your husband.
For long term benefit of my family & son, I choose to say the same word as i told u to my 99. She understood what i mean. She said, "fine, u dont want me to take care of BB, no problem ar...."
After that, she like to complain me not to take care of my son well every we gathered. Actually, she wanted me to go to work to release his son's (my husband) burden.
Talk with your honey, hope u slove the problem before BB coming out.
I also have a "指揮家"99.
My baby is 6 mos old right now, before my baby is born, my 99 also said the same thing that she wants to look after my baby, so I can go out to work and reduce the finance burden of her son (my husband).
but it is only her thougths, in the matter of fact, my honey & I have no finance problem event i'm a full-time mom. but my 99 is very care about money$$!
What i said to her is "I will take care my baby, because I want to teach her things by myself."
hope it help.
For the long term benefit of my bb, I'll insist my thought no matter what my 99 says.
I know it's definitely not easy for me since I hv an extremely filial husband just as I mentioned before. We communicate well in everything besides his parents. Whenever I talk about the unreasonable sayings and behaviors of 6299, he must feel aggrieved about it and unhappy ending is resulted finally. By now, I stop talking anything I feel bad about 6299 anymore. What I attempt to do is to tolerate in front of them and try hard to forget the bad experience ASAP. Haha, just like an ostrich, right?
Regarding bb issue, my hus understands my points but he would never react against his parents. I am not sure what will happen, anyway, just face it incrementally :-|
I have the same husband as you (as chinese says "stupid filial").
He does not know how to do in order to make good relationship between 99 and me. he just want to be a kind person in front of my 99 and me. the problem never solved. so, now I just do what i want. and just be a nice person in front of his family even though i'm not like them.
the funny thing is, me and my husband getting alone well. but only my 99 always want to know everything about us and want to control/get involve .
haha, we both take the same strategy in dealing with the family in law. i show my greatest patience to the strange practices of his family members. by now, my husband does appreciate my kindness towards his family. honest speaking, i don't want to break our relationship because of my 99
i agree with you. it is not worth to loose a loving husband because of the stupid 99.
as my husband said, i can ignor my 99 if i don't like the things she says to me. good luck to you.
I totally agree with you, understand that 老公屋企人"騎呢"已經係事實, 勞氣咪棧激死自己, 不如忍一時風平浪靜, 換嚟老公錫自己多d咪仲好.
I moved to Chicago 3 years ago from HK b'cos of marry, my husband is "ABC" and open mind person. however his family was from China. therefore his parent's culture is completely different with HK people. you can say they are "騎呢" and from different planet. they even have generation gap with my parent.
I don't live with 6299, only live with my husband and a 7 months old baby. my husband know that i don't want to see his parent so he will make excuses to stop them to come to visit us.
it's hard to command good or bad if you stop your 99 come to see her grand-baby, however, if your 99 is nice person, then I believe you are always welcome her, but if she is not nice and 「指揮」all the time (like my 99) then stop her is to avoid the conflicts.
I've got a friend that she always try to ask her 99 leave her house with excuse, such as "my son need to sleep" see you (嫲嫲) next time.
I totally agree with you guys and I have the same problem btw me, 99, and my hushand. My 99 didn't attempt to take care of my bb, but she aften force us to follow what she says regarding take care of bb, which some are already out-dated. I also complain to my husband a lot, but he said it is hard to say it to 99, which make me quite angry with him.
Mont,
On the other hand, yr "指揮家" 99 will arrange u to do(saving time of thinking). My 99 will ask me how to do and what to do. Because the child belongs to me, she has no responsibility. My 99 always told or ask me many many question heard from C9(crazy/stupid things, e.g. my child will free-of-charge to attend kindergarden). I don't answer any incorrect information. Therefore, I always check and find out the answer to her. Then express to her with smile :wink: . Actually, I feel very tire to do all things. I've told my husband what I am facing. He just ignore me and sometime said "how come u thing about 99". Is it my fault? I will not forgive when anybody hurt my child. Now, I talk all my trouble to a phychologist. I hope he can help/tell me what can I do.
Anyway, I know I must accept my 99. If the time can go back to 2 years, I will not give my child to my 99(honestly).
我對佢哋家人好好, 乜都忍佢哋, 可以嘅話, 乜都同佢哋做, 而且死忍都唔會講佢哋半句壞話(就算忍無可忍, 講都要好有技巧:mrgreen: ), 我老公都有眼睇我點對佢屋企, 所以我話唔一齊住佢都唔可以怪我乜嘢, 仲好多謝我對佢屋企人咁好. 講真, 有時都會諗, 佢哋"騎呢"已經係事實, 勞氣咪棧激死自己, 不如忍一時風平浪靜, 換嚟老公錫自己多d咪仲好.
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