Never!!
tell your husband this is not "洽簿", it is "賓主關係", 要分大細. keep a certain distance with your maid is must, otherwise she may not respect you when she work long.
to maid, it is silly to argue between ourselves as the maid is employed to serve us. Better to join together, most of the situations, mum will make the orders. For important things such as when to take vacation leave etc, the other half will make the demand so that the maid will know the seriousness of the issue and it cannot be altered when demanded by the one who seldom make requests.