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發表於 09-2-24 12:29 |只看該作者 |倒序瀏覽 |打印

I don't know how to express my feeling but just wanted to give up. My son was in P3-I put him in some kind similar to International school cause I don't want to give him or myself pressure. 3 years in Primary school and he keep on doing the following.

1) Telling liessss to the teacher when he forget to bring or do homeworks. And told me he don't need to do this and that
2) Did not write everything in the handbook
3) Always try to escape when do something wrong
4) not handing in homeworks for no reason-he know how to do prefectly
5) VV in the escalator when he was in P1
6) stole cousin toys 2 times-but he got same or even better one at home
7) when he tell lies, it was so real, even adult no one can find out unless teacher and me talk on the phone-is scary.
8) When he don't get it, he will broke yours.

Yesterday he went into another classroom, open someone school bag. After he found out a red pocket, he open it and show the money to the other classmate. After that he use a tissue to wrap the money and threw into the gabbage bin. I really wanted to know what is his purpose of doing this??????????????

I spent all my time to him even I am a working mother. After works I just go home and stay with him, not only looking the homeworks but also playing cards etc with him. I cancel all my social activities. I never hit him, always explain to him when he do wrong. He knew I love him so much and so do he love me. When he see me cry he feel guality. But why he keep on doing this to hurt me? Is it kind of sickness? What should i do next. I already find the social worker in school, but she think my son is OK.

[ 本帖最後由 achow 於 09-2-24 14:08 編輯 ]

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校長大人

洋房

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發表於 09-2-24 17:50 |只看該作者

原帖由 achow 於 09-2-24 12:29 發表
I don't know how to express my feeling but just wanted to give up. My son was in P3-I put him in some kind similar to International school cause I don't want to give him or myself pressure. 3 years in ...

I am not sure I am right or not, but I guess you are a very kind mother. From what you have just expressed, I believe you need to work out something both for yourself and your son.

About yourself :
1) It is necessary for you to have your own social activity and life. Keeping yourself 100% focus on your child doesn't pay you enough to smooth your emotion and personal feeling. If you don't make some change for yourself, it will even draw you even deeper and further. Just a little things could make you feel depressed and frustrated. You need some fresh air. Please spend some time for yourself and with your best friends.

2) Teaching children requires both our skills and attitudes. Just having good attitudes doesn't guarantee that the child will listen to you, as nowadays children are smart, and they can read from your gesture and facial expression telling themselves that they can overtake you or not. In fact, we need both principles, agreement between you and your child, encouragement, and punishment.

3) Once you set up principles and mutual agreement with your child, you have to stick to them, especially when your child become too demanding and exaggerating on his behaviours.

We all love our kids, but it is necessary to provide them principles, reasonable punishment, explanation, expectation on him.

Don't give up, and it helps us be mature when dealing with kids, as there are quite a lot that we need to learn and change. tks

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GiGiMum

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發表於 09-3-3 11:35 |只看該作者

Hi!

If it is possible, I think you better be a full time mom.

Your son needs you, & you need to spend more time with him.

You should help him when he still small, otherwise you will no chance to help.

Keep effort!:loveliness: :loveliness:

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甜芋

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發表於 09-3-3 11:44 |只看該作者

原帖由 achow 於 09-2-24 12:29 發表
I don't know how to express my feeling but just wanted to give up. My son was in P3-I put him in some kind similar to International school cause I don't want to give him or myself pressure. 3 years in ...

我覺得你有需要揾兒童心理學家跟進.

快樂的甜芋快樂的甜芋

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甜芋

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發表於 09-3-3 11:48 |只看該作者

慢慢輔導囝囝,真係一個好長的過程.依家睇住我仔仔的姨姨,有同我講過類似你仔仔的一個真實故事.做媽媽,真係好好好好好重要,千奇唔好放棄.你由學校的途徑揾心理學家幫手,得唔得?

快樂的甜芋快樂的甜芋

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發表於 09-3-5 11:19 |只看該作者

Thank you for all your sharing. I went to see the 心理學家 last Friday. Actually I totally understand my problem, is only I don't know how to slove and face it. I went to see the 心理學家 was because I wanted to help myself, my son and my family out. If I have problem, my kids won't be happy, my hubby will be worry and my family will distroy by myself. Therefore I told myself to enjoy my life and the most important is to RELAX myself.

The point is I always set a very high standard to the people who next to me-especially my kids. Therefore my son who love me so much, he don't want to disappoint me. He need to tell lie at the end (If i cannot find out, he think this is the way to make me happy).
Now i finally realize I am wrong and i am the main person to make my son tell lies. I will now need to learn how to relax myself and give some room to my son and believe on him.

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fatping1

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發表於 09-3-6 13:49 |只看該作者

achow,

Don't put all the blame on yourself. We all learn to be parents as there is no school for parents to go and learn how to teach our kids. Even myself, sometimes I feel frustrated with my child as she acted very naughty on something, which in my mind is just a simple task. However, I still feel blessed as our children are healthy and able to listen to us, and most of the time they did naughty things to draw our attention. May be you can spend time with your son in other new activities or learn things together... i am still learning how to be a well-balanced parent myself, so don't pressure yourself too much.

May I know if you have1 child or more than 1 child?

Cheer up and add oil!

原帖由 achow 於 09-3-5 11:19 發表
Thank you for all your sharing. I went to see the 心理學家 last Friday. Actually I totally understand my problem, is only I don't know how to slove and face it. I went to see the 心理學家 was because ...

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發表於 09-3-10 10:54 |只看該作者

I have more then 1 child. Another one is P1 girl, she was totally different. Very good behave, good disciplin, poliet, know what is good or bad, independent, respect to other.....
If she not finish homework, she won't go to play or sleep. She need to do the homework prefectly. Very happy girl-she smile all the times.
Very good comment in school.

原帖由 fatping1 於 09-3-6 13:49 發表
achow,

Don't put all the blame on yourself. We all learn to be parents as there is no school for parents to go and learn how to teach our kids. Even myself, sometimes I feel frustrated with my chil ...

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apin

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發表於 09-3-11 12:13 |只看該作者

原帖由 achow 於 09-3-10 10:54 發表
I have more then 1 child. Another one is P1 girl, she was totally different. Very good behave, good disciplin, poliet, know what is good or bad, independent, respect to other.....
If she not finish ho ...

Woo!~~ your girl so great, can u share how to teach her.
many thanks

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發表於 09-3-11 15:14 |只看該作者

With my experience, kids's character are natural born.
Both of my kids were from my tummy. They both live with me and I teacher them and train them same. But my girl is really different then my boy-even the taste.

原帖由 apin 於 09-3-11 12:13 發表

Woo!~~ your girl so great, can u share how to teach her.
many thanks

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fatping1

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發表於 09-3-11 15:17 |只看該作者

achow,

Is your boy a younger child? May be he knows his sister is an excellent girl, so he wants to do something totally opposite to get your attention? That's just my thought!

Actually u should be very proud of having such a good girl, don't put too much pressure on yourself even if you boy won't behave as your expectation. Most of the time boys are more naughty than girls ar ma!

Cheers

原帖由 achow 於 09-3-11 15:14 發表
With my experience, kids's character are natural born.
Both of my kids were from my tummy. They both live with me and I teacher them and train them same. But my girl is really different then my boy-ev ...

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發表於 09-3-11 15:53 |只看該作者

Thank you for comfort. My son is the eldest one. Actually I am now learing how to relax myself and try to give him more room, may be miracle will appear.
Is really hard to be a parent compare to my business.

原帖由 fatping1 於 09-3-11 15:17 發表
achow,

Is your boy a younger child? May be he knows his sister is an excellent girl, so he wants to do something totally opposite to get your attention? That's just my thought!

Actually u should ...

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fatping1

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發表於 09-3-11 18:02 |只看該作者

achow,
U are already a very great parent from what i read in other thread. Both of your children are so smart and intelligent, may be your boy is just naughty, not that he is a bad person. As long as he can manage his school work + activities, u just need to relax on other things.

I wish my girl can be as good as your younger daughter.

Add oil!

原帖由 achow 於 09-3-11 15:53 發表
Thank you for comfort. My son is the eldest one. Actually I am now learing how to relax myself and try to give him more room, may be miracle will appear.
Is really hard to be a parent compare to my bu ...

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發表於 09-3-16 14:10 |只看該作者

I bring him to visit the Phycologist last Sat and found out he have concerate problem. And the Dr ask me to give him medicine for at lease his whole primary school-which mean 3 years. She told me the side effect will be: Lower his appetize or may be some kids got headache, is depend on the kids. But she said most of the kids will see the improvement after 1 week. I am still struggle if or if not I give him the medicine.

Last thursday he told me he don't want to go to school and keep crying (He think there is too many homeworks). But that's not ture, is only he did not do the homeworks day and day, therefore he need to finish them all in once.
He said he only want to play piano and Clarinet. Al the rest he don't like. I let him stay home on lat Friday-give him a break.
In the morning he did not eat breakfast and ate ice-cream, the maid call him and I feel shock-cause without my premission, kids cannot eat ice-cream for 8 years. And my son always listen to me. At night when i go home, I went in his room, he broken the pictures frame and make the room so mess-my maid cry cause my som was so naughty that day.
He act so un-normal. I talk to the Dr and they told me may be my son was so stressful. Ask me and school to give him break.

I love him so much and he love me so much too. He told the Phyco and said want mom to send more time with him. But I already did, I go home right after my work without any social life in the passed. I just went out to have drink with friends cause the Dr ask me to, but I think my son only want to stay with me. The Dr. said it was not normal for a P3 boy who always want parent attention and stay with Mom and dad.

Next week will go to check his IQ next.

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apin

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發表於 09-3-18 10:10 |只看該作者

放心吧! 有專家跟進會好快無事.

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kongzilla

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發表於 09-3-18 15:54 |只看該作者

After reading your case, I know you are really a good mother! At least, try hard to find out the problems!!

But did you ask your son about his school-life?! Do you think he is enjoy having time with his friends at school?! Normally, in P3, kids start being affected by their peers. See is there any problems with his peers first. If no, so, is there any big change in his life, says, family/school/location/ teacher/ classmates changes?! Try to know more about his background with his teacher and peers' relationships.

It's good to have a IQ test with your son. But honestly, even you know how high or low IQ he gets, you may not know how to help him. It's much better to find a social worker, either at school or in community, to help him and improve his behaviour.

Hope your son will get well soon.

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發表於 09-3-18 16:51 |只看該作者

Thank you for all your kind support. I asked my son about his school life-he love it with most of the teachers and friends. And I talked to the teachers and the teachers told me he goes very good with all the classmates. Even he tells lie, but the classmates was protecting him.
I got help by the social worker in school who is really good and spending time on me and my son. She referral me for the Dr and Psychologist.

I will try my best to find him and myself a solution. I will not give up cause I am the one to bring him to the world and he is my only son.

thanks again for all your support.

原帖由 kongzilla 於 09-3-18 15:54 發表
After reading your case, I know you are really a good mother! At least, try hard to find out the problems!!

But did you ask your son about his school-life?! Do you think he is enjoy having time with ...

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kongzilla