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複式洋房

積分: 259


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發表於 25-6-5 21:49 |只看該作者
自戀型人格障礙Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) 多年來已經在英文世界被廣泛認知及討論,外國社交平台有NPD Survivors, raised by narcissists等由眾多自戀人格伴侶、子女及幸存者組成的數十萬人的群組。中文世界(大陸及台灣)近年也因為社會事件開始有不少人關注相關議題,但有關資訊在香港較人認識,亦甚少被提起(「刑偵12」有稍為提及但存在誤導成份),而在身邊及網絡上一直都聽到在職場或者關係中感到不愉快卻無辦法離開的例子,所以結合親身遇到的兩個自戀型人格例子分析NPD的相關資訊。


A:前公司老細,令我受到職場霸凌而患上抑鬱症並失業一年半,同性戀者
B:假裝單身與我交往半年的出軌男,已婚,育有一女

未深入認識前這兩位四十中的男性時,他們的共同特徵為:
現職公司中高層,年輕時就開始做管理層
讀書成績差,在英文國家不知名學校取得學位,並因此獲得高級職位
注重髮型,有脫髮困擾,在頭髮上花費相當大時間金錢與精力
眼神飄忽,無法與人對視
鄙視宗教信仰及相關儀式但迷信風水
對比金錢,更加在意在別人眼中的形象,願意用金錢換取形象;難以接受批評或者別人對自己的負面評價
喜歡就與自己能力和成就無關的方面為自己感到自豪,例如利用特殊手段在網購中獲得優惠,發現一種大部分人不留意的新商品
對外表現得八面玲瓏長袖善舞但無能夠交心的朋友
樂於幫助不熟悉的人,並以此向熟悉的人不停炫耀
喜歡高談闊論,沒有邏輯但假裝有邏輯
經常強調「我係好人」
喜歡塑造樂於助人的社交形象並以此自豪
(有其他共同特徵,因為同樣存在於其他相同年齡層男性身上所以無列出)


根據美國精神醫學學會精神疾病診斷與統計手冊DSM-5的標準,以下9項中有5項以上符合即可診斷為NPD:
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements).
誇大自己的重要性,如誇大成就與能力,沒有相應的成就卻希望被認為是卓越的。

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
專注於幻想無限的成功、權力、才華、姣好外貌或理想愛情。

3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
相信自己是獨一無二的,只能被其他特殊或高地位的人理解或歸為同類。

4. Requires excessive admiration.
非常需要讚美。

5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).
認為自己應該享有特權,希望別人主動提供特殊待遇、服從他的期望。

6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).
人際關係的剝削,會利用他人達到自己的目的。

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognise or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
缺乏同理心,無視他人的感受與需要。

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
經常嫉妒別人,或認為別人嫉妒自己。

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes.
表現出驕傲、傲慢的行為或態度。



根據統計,NPD在全球範圍佔比大概6.2%,男性總體比女性多,大約佔50-75%。外國多個研究顯示,NPD透過基因遺傳的機會大約為50%,因此,如果你認識一個NPD,他們家庭內部很可能不止有一個。除基因外,成長環境和前額葉結構異常都是引致NPD的原因。

不認識A和B的家人,但A與B的成長過程似乎都經歷過創傷
A:幼時跟隨父母和兩個姐姐移民加拿大,因英文差和身材矮小被當地人欺負
B:幼時父親失蹤,需照顧三個細佬及母親,債主到家中追債淋紅油,細佬患病要由B帶同睇醫生



NPD被稱為親密關係中的「吸血鬼」,他們普遍能夠維持良好的社會關係及社會形象,但會嚴重傷害與其關係密切的人,尤其當NPD為伴侶、父母、上司時,對方受到的傷害更為嚴重。全球各地的學者、心理學家以及精神科醫生總結了以下NPD的特徵:


NPD在關係中會經歷三個階段:
Love booming/Idealisation 愛情轟炸/理想化,Devaluation 貶低化,Discard 拋棄

理想化階段:極度討好,物質贈予,用各種方式與對方拉近關係
貶低化階段:當對方無法滿足NPD的想像或要求時,NPD開始生氣、貶低、推卸罪責,出現精神甚至肢體暴力
拋棄階段:當NPD認為對方不再有利用價值或者將注意力轉移之後,就會切斷連結

由於NPD需要大量其他人的情緒能量作為narcissistic supply自戀供養,因此他們會與相同的人不斷輪迴這三個階段。如果不是由NPD主動提出,對方非常難與NPD斷絕關係,通常會經歷漫長而痛苦的過程,因此外國有大量關於與NPD離婚的艱辛故事分享、經驗總結及法律與心理的專門服務。

NPD異於常人的特徵:
習慣性撒謊:講大話時可以表現得極其自然,習慣在各種無關痛癢的事情上講大話
不承認錯誤:做錯事不會承認是自己的錯,會將錯誤推給對方,因為認錯會令他們產生羞恥感
超強控制欲:將自己的意志強加到對方身上,高(道德)標準要求別人,低標準要求自己,傷害對方不會有愧疚感
無法面對批評:別人對NPD提出質疑或批評時,NPD會用貶低及打壓的方式攻擊對方,無法真實地面對問題
道德感、同理心低:


NPD常用的操縱手段:
Gaslighting 情緒勒索/煤氣燈效應
Blame-shifting 推卸責任
Invalidation 否定
Criticism and insults 批評與侮辱
Manipulative flattery 虛假奉承
Threats and intimidation 威脅及恐嚇
Isolation 孤立
Withholding 收回情感
Triangulation 三角測量
Minimisation of abuse 否認自己行為


與A的故事:
我加入A的部門時,部門內只有兩種工作範疇,除我之外,其他人均負責第二個範疇,包括經理以及AM,A作為director亦只能做第二個範疇的工作(我在臨走前先知,做我個位嘅每一個都做得唔耐,而且去到後期與A的關係都變得十分差)。

我入職初期,A表現得十分興奮,親自帶我走訪公司每個部門介紹每一位負責人,親自出錢帶全部門到高檔餐廳食welcome lunch,出去開會專門打包精緻點心剩係俾我。

試用期後,我發現係我入嚟之前,我呢個位一直都係兩個人做,而且之前所有人職位都高我兩級,人工將近兩倍。但我入職以嚟一直都一個人負責全部工作,成間公司兩萬幾人無第二個可以頂替我,放假前要提前趕曬啲嘢,請病假都需要遠程辦公,所以我理所當然地認為問題不在於我的工作能力。
於是我問A我係咪有啲咩做得唔夠或者有邊度需要提升。
「你返工成日都著冷衫」
「辦公室個水機無水都無見你換過,都係嗰幾個男仔換」
「其他同事返工傾計傾得咁開心,得你一個成日對住電腦做嘢,唔同其他同事溝通」

疫情期間,公司要求員工提前安排好全年年假,之後疫情爆發封城,我部門除A、我以及經理WFH之外,其他人每日收平均日薪的三分之二放假。由於政府政策每日變化,我當時連續一個半月每天工作,時間由早上十點到夜晚十點。一切回覆正常返回辦公室工作後,我向A申請取消WFH期間的AL。
「你知唔知你有得返工已經係privilege嚟㗎喇?」

之後我開始出現職業倦怠(後來得知當時已經開始抑鬱),A亦瞞住我請咗另一個同事與我做相同的工作,新同事的職級與之前所有人都一樣高我兩級,人工亦將近係我的兩倍。A開始將我的工作全部交給新同事,自己每天到辦公室與其他同事嘻嘻哈哈,交給我的只有豬頭骨工作。期間發生新同事因負責全部工作壓力太大又誤會是我造成而在電話中對我破口大罵,而A則表示我cut對方線先係事件中的無禮貌及錯誤的一方。

我將A投訴到人事部,A向人事部表示我不合群。A開始無視我的存在,不回應我的請假申請和請辭。然後我投訴到美國總公司,驚動集團coo,A以我遲到作為理由逼我簽warning letter(最初入職時曾與A達成共識,由於我每天均不能準時收工,因此可以適當遲到小小),我遞信。

辭職後我開始睇精神科食抗抑鬱藥,期間每一間同行公司都有主動邀請我去面試,每一間都面試咗至少兩輪,有啲甚至已經提到入職準備,但最後無一間有出到offer。失業一年半後,我終於收到其他行業嘅offer。



與B的故事:
在我失業的期間,我有好長一段時間一直將自己困在家中,用藥後我逐漸好轉,希望與外界重新建立連接時開始嘗試網上認識朋友,在tg group出一個post後收到超過700個回覆,B是其中一個(因我當時得閒所以每個都有回覆,見到好多人講我係唯一會回覆嘅先知道無人會逐個回覆)。而我會見B嘅原因純粹係因為佢專登搵假期前一日請假,而其他人全部都想約假期見面,我唔知應該點做所以全部無見。

第一次見面B表示十分高興,因為多年嚟用過多款dating app,遇到的只有詐騙或者真人與圖片不符,我是唯一一個真實的正常人類。之後連續幾個禮拜,在我明確表示不想但無法拒絕的情況下,B每隔一日就到我臨時租住嘅地方幫我裝燈、清潔消毒並購買日常用品。在我收到工作offer需要搵地方搬嘅時候陪我睇樓,幫我墊支兩按一上,陪我購買傢俬電器,幫我改裝智能家居。期間,我知道關於B的資訊包括:做IT,幼時父母帶住佢偷渡香港,與父母細佬四人同住,所有親戚都在內地,但重陽節需要在香港拜山。

之後有一次,我發現B的無名指上有戒指,電話wallpaper係一個幾歲大細路女,確認過B無任何宗教信仰之後,我試探性地問佢係結咗婚定離咗婚
「好複雜,唔開心嘅嘢唔想提」
於是幾個月時間內我都真誠地相信B因意外而喪偶喪女,需要陪伴所以上網識人,需要紀念所以保留戒指與wallpaper,重陽需要拜祭,傷心事避免提。

當我發現B並非喪偶亦無離婚時脫口而出,我以為你老婆仔女死曬。
「咩你把口咁毒嘅」
然後逐漸揭發各種大話:共有三個細佬,父親失蹤多年,與妻子女兒同住,重陽拜祭因病離世的外母。

之後B當無事發生,依然每日討論點樣搞我間屋,而我希望釐清事件並聽到解釋,但佢認為我係無理取鬧,於是就開始咗連續幾個月每晚都打幾個鐘電話嘅痛苦日子。

期間針對B點解唔一早坦白自己已婚事實,我地多次爭吵,佢俾出過以下理由:
「我係獨立個體」
「你諗多咗。你以為你可以破壞我地關係?」
「你情緒穩定啲我咪早啲講囉。你睇你而家知都咁大反應,我點早啲講?」
「未係時候」
「唔想破壞我地見面時嘅氣氛」
「你自己認真諗下點解?」
「因為我尊重你」

由於我間屋真係需要整理,而我朋友都喺外國,家人亦唔喺香港,加上每日要返工,夜晚唔見B都被逼一定要聽佢講幾個鐘電話,逼於無奈之下唯有俾佢嚟幫我整嘢。佢除咗每次藉口帶唔齊工具或者專登整一半留一半之外亦開始咗對我嘅精神暴力與操縱。

當我提出佢曾經講大話時:
「我無講大話,我只係避重就輕。係你自己誤會」
「我展示緊商業社會嘅生存技巧俾你睇」
「我都唔記得我講過咩,點解你成日都要搵返以前啲嘢嚟撩交嗌」
「你咩都問,咁我唔係樣樣都想講㗎嘛,我已經講咗好多喇」

當我表示佢已婚的事實及隱瞞的行為已經超越我的底線,唔可以再維持咁樣嘅關係時:
「就算我一開始呃過你又點姐,人唔可以犯錯嘅?你意思係咪即係坐過監出嚟啲人連生存嘅權利都無啊?」
「我都係想我地關係好啲」
「你剩係諗你自己感受」

當我陷入無法擺脫,又因為佢知道我地址,幫我換咗密碼鎖保存自己指紋可以自由進出(換鎖時留低好大個窿唔補,唔透過正常手段都好易進入),我又無人無物而擔心人身安全時,我唯有用各種藉口推卻:
「我連返工時間都可以放棄,你睇我請咗幾多日假陪你睇樓,幫你買嘢、裝嘢?你呢,連返工、食飯、洗衫、讀書、訓覺都重要過我。」

當我表示我認識咗新朋友,可以搵佢哋幫手時,佢以擔心我安全為由強逼我講出佢地身份,然後再逐一貶低我的所有朋友,試圖離間我同朋友的關係:
「你啲喺外國既朋友(大學教授、外交官、歐盟委員會專員、駐外記者、各文化藝術領域專家學者)講就叻,佢地會唔會好似我咁幫你啊?」
「你香港啲朋友(工程項目總監、大學講師)主動靠近你都係有目的㗎,佢地都係想攞你著數ja」

當我不斷表示這段關係不能再持續時,B一直強調自己的訴求並宣稱只有佢在退讓,卻從未正視過我的要求:
B的訴求:
「我希望可以一直keep住咁既關係」
「唔想將來後悔」
「只要佢(個女)開心既,我都唔會介意佢成世都係咁(俾人欺騙做一世第三者)」
期間幾乎每晚都要打四至五個鐘電話,B太太開夜時甚至試過由夜晚11點講到朝早7點。無論任何時間都只可以佢cut線,否則會電話轟炸加暴怒
我的要求:
一開始認識時:不能講大話(已犯)
認識不久後:一齊去驗血(每次提出都以自己好乾淨、忙等理由推卻,但多次要求無套)

在整個貶低化階段,B的語言中包含大量刪改記憶、大話拼接、模糊焦點、混淆對方認知、合理化自己行為的成份,目的令事情有利於自己,令對方陷入不斷自證的境地不斷懷疑自己。

後來我忍無可忍,透過佢提及的線索搵到佢既真名同Facebook account,再搵到佢老婆Facebook,將B假扮單身之事簡單告知。B知道後,將責任推到我身上:
「我無害過你,點解你要害我?」
「你破壞咗三個家庭」
然後要求我提供帳號密碼,令佢可以用我帳號發信息俾佢老婆假扮成詐騙,再將我個帳號刪除,原因如下:
「我而家連啊媽屋企都唔敢去」
「我唔可以無咗個女」
「出到去會俾人笑」



其他統計數據


由於善於維持良好社交形象,不擇手段,行動力高,NPD比正常人更容易做到公司中高層但較難繼續往上


NPD離婚率比總體數字高


NPD有多偶及不斷出軌的傾向


A-不清楚實情,但不時聽到同事講「佢又有新仔」


B-在我不斷拒絕見面時多次“威脅”我「我會搵過第二個」


比普通人更願意多生,因為幼兒期的小朋友會給予NPD大量關注與崇拜,在他們出現自我意識之前NPD會從他們身上獲得最高級別的自戀供應


(綜合以上三點,加上遺傳因素,我認為社會實際中的NPD會比官方數據6%更高,因為佢地通常唔會認為自己有病/有問題,唔會主動甚至拒絕接受專業幫助)




NPD缺乏道德感和同理心,同時具有超強控制欲


道德感:

A:利用小手段獲得工作上的便利及在上司面前表現的機會並以此感到自豪

B:在同學聚會中重遇中學同學(B的現任妻子)後,利用手段撬好兄弟牆腳,導致兄弟決裂依然感到自豪


NPD缺乏同理心,但A和B通過模仿,均表現出認知同理,缺乏情感同理。當我仍以為B喪妻喪女時曾一同入戲院睇過劉青雲的「爸爸」,離場後B表示全程只感受到「無聊」。在對話中我發現B的世界只有「開心」和「唔開心」兩種情緒,而「唔開心」幾乎只有「憤怒」,完全無「委屈」等高級感情,甚至連上一次喊都已經係6、7歲時因為同人打交因物理上的「痛」而引起。唯一一次見識到B表現出真誠的情感同理係佢同我最後一次通話時提及到「你當初唔應該投訴A」。多謝佢既提醒,如果唔係我都唔會諗到佢地有相同的人格特質。


NPD的控制欲表現在容易將身邊人當成自己的延伸,將個人意志強加於對方身上

B將控制加諸於細佬、女同我身上:

「我最細個細佬,由佢讀中學開始,我已經幫佢plan定大學讀邊科,修邊啲堂,然後幫佢plan咗一條career path,佢真係跟住我同佢講嘅一步步咁走,而家已經lead曬成個部門」

「我已經幫個女設計咗一條最好嘅路,小學xxx,中學xxx,大學xxx,出到嚟就可以xxx,其他咩都唔重要,最緊要識leadership」

「我先幫你換曬啲燈掣同門鎖,之後打造成個智能家居,你一定會鍾意」




容易吸引到NPD的人:

高敏感、高共情、低自尊、缺乏邊界感、討好型人格,而我本身係Highly Sensitive Person高敏感人,所以連續遇見兩個NPD




NPD為中心的群體中通常至少一個Flying Monkey(飛猴,指在NPD身邊助紂為虐的人),幫助NPD控制及折磨Blood-Bag (血包,指為NPD提供自戀供養的人)。當NPD不在身邊時,Flying Monkey亦會表現出與NPD相似的特徵。Blood-Bag通常就是自戀虐待的受害者,很多人在離開NPD一段長時間後依然深受PTSD(創傷後壓力症)困擾。





複式洋房

積分: 259


2#
發表於 25-6-5 21:50 |只看該作者
受到自戀虐待的特徵及自戀受害者綜合症症狀:
* Feelings of Isolation 孤立感
* Self-Doubt & Guilt 自我懷疑及內疚
* Physical Symptoms (Headaches, restlessness, appetite changes, nausea, physical aches and pains, digestion issues such as acid reflux and indigestion, insomnia) 身體症狀(頭痛、焦慮不安、食慾改變、嘔心反胃、身體疼痛、消化問題如胃酸倒流及消化不良、失眠)
* Difficulties in Making Decisions 決策困難
* Self-Destructive Behaviors 自毀行為
* Loss of Self-Identity 失去自我認同
* Inability to Instill Boundaries 難以保持自我邊界
* Anxiety & Depression 焦慮及抑鬱
* The “Freeze,” “Flight,” “Fight,” or “Fawn” Response 出現「凍結」、「逃跑」、「戰鬥」或「討好」反應
* Restlessness & Feeling “On Edge” 長時間焦躁不安緊張
* Dissociation 解離
* Trauma Bonding 創傷連結
* Trust Issues 信任危機
* Self-Harm Behaviors 自殘行為
* Self-Gaslighting 自我情緒勒索
* Sacrificing Your Own Needs 犧牲自我需求


複式洋房

積分: 259


3#
發表於 25-6-5 22:14 |只看該作者
本帖最後由 rhysl72 於 25-6-5 23:06 編輯

由於現時全世界都未出現過NPD被完全治癒的案例,因此國內外無數專家學者都指出,遇到NPD時,最佳的自保方法是遠離且不再接觸,當實在無辦法離開時,可暫時使用Grey Rock Method (灰岩法):不表露情感,只作最簡單的交流,不爭論,不解釋。



NPD需要大量自戀供養,因此主動離開他們極為困難,即使離開,NPD亦大多會主動嘗試重新建立關係,難以完全斷絕關係。在我的經驗中,與A和B斷絕關係的過程都極為困難但離開後並受到「回吸」,原因係我嘅行為將事實公開令佢地自戀受損。

網絡上無論中文世界或英文世界都有大量倖存者表示與對方建立關係多年後才發現對方的自戀型人格特徵,我喺同認識B一段時間後就已經覺得非常唔妥,直至而家先發現原因。但即使早已經深感唔妥都依然無辦法可以及時全身而退。而我可以喺較為早期就意識到不對勁嘅主要原因係我從ex身上感受過真實的情感,亦深刻地記得我當時嘅狀態。



能夠與NPD長期相處的三類人
1. 同樣是NPD(B與太太有可能處於這種關係:如果B不是有意令我感到內疚的話,太太一言不發就帶住小朋友消失明顯是對B的操縱,將用咗六年的全家福頭像更換成最新全家福亦是對我的示威)
2. Flying monkey(多出現在有小朋友的家庭中,NPD與flying monkey一齊將小朋友當成blood-bag)
3. 長時間近距離面對NPD導致認知失調,身心都被損害到無自主能力可以離開或者因現實原因必須依賴NPD的人,可能有類似斯德哥爾摩綜合症症狀


複式洋房

積分: 259


4#
發表於 25-6-5 22:18 |只看該作者
References

https://dn790004.ca.archive.org/0/items/APA-DSM-5/DSM5.pdf

https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/highly-sensitive-people-attract-narcissists/

https://www.simplypsychology.org/common-narcissistic-love-patterns.html

https://www.e-counseling.com/articles/what-is-the-grey-rock-method/

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock

https://www.charliehealth.com/post/is-narcissism-genetic-the-role-of-genetics-in-narcissistic-personality-disorder

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9742-narcissistic-personality-disorder

https://www.drcarlamanly.com/the-painful-truth-of-the-perfect-narcissist

https://www.charliehealth.com/post/things-narcissists-say-in-an-argument-and-what-they-really-mean

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-abuse-syndrome/

https://www.thelifedoctor.org/how-does-a-narcissist-choose-their-victims

https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/traits-that-attract-narcissists/



大宅

積分: 2209


5#
發表於 25-6-5 22:21 |只看該作者

回覆樓主:

你想表達啲咩?


複式洋房

積分: 259


6#
發表於 25-6-5 22:23 |只看該作者
當你懷疑你的伴侶是NPD時,或者在一段關係中感到非常不適的話,可以嘗試做以下兩個測試,將有助你更認識你的伴侶和你身處的關係


複式洋房

積分: 259


7#
發表於 25-6-5 22:29 |只看該作者
測試1

問題出自:
Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People

中文版:
如何不喜欢一个人

Psychopath Test
Psychopaths display a particular set of patterns in their relationships. This thirteen-question test can help you (or a friend) determine if you might be dating a toxic person.
For each question, add the corresponding answer number to your total score. For example, if you answer (1) to the first question and (4) to the second question, you have a total of 5 points so far. Then at the end, see which range your final score falls into. If you’re bad at math like me, you can simply take the test online at Test.PsychopathFree.com, which will magically compute the results for you!

以下的十三道问题也许能帮助你(或者你的朋友)判断自己是不是正在和一个具有“毒型人格”的恶情人约会。每道题选项的编号即代表该选项的分值。比如你第一题选择1,第二题选择4,那么这两道题相加你就总共得五分。在问卷末尾附有与分值对应的结果列表。如果你的数学像我一样不好,也可以在test.psychopathfree.com页面上进行在线测试,网页会自动为你计算出结果。

A. Does this person keep their promises?
1. Yes, of course. Whenever my partner makes a promise, I can be confident that they will follow through on it.
2. Sure, they usually keep their promises and their behavior aligns pretty closely with their words.
3. Sometimes. They’re not very dependable, but they’ll follow through on their words occasionally.
4. No, their actions never seem to match up with their sweeping words. I’ve mostly learned not to point it out, otherwise I seem sensitive and crazy.

A.你的伴侣是个说话算话、信守承诺的人吗?
1.当然是了,我的伴侣言必信,行必果。
2.大体上说是的,绝大多数情况下,我的伴侣都会信守承诺,他(她)的言行也基本一致。
3.有时候是这样,虽然我的伴侣大体上说不是特别可靠,但是他(她)偶尔还是会按照说的去做的。
4.完全不是这样,我的伴侣言行从不一致,说得很漂亮但是什么实事都不干。可是我已经不会对此发表意见了,否则他(她)会骂我神经过敏的。


B. Does your partner seem to understand your feelings?
1. They’re very empathetic and compassionate! They always seem to understand where I’m coming from. If I ever bring up concerns, I know they’ll listen and understand.
2. Not really, but it’s always been this way. Even early on in the relationship, they were never especially caring. They can be pretty self-centered, but they’re usually there for me if I really need help.
3. They’re empathetic enough, and I don’t need anything more.
4. Not anymore. I find myself desperately trying to explain how they might feel if they were in my shoes, but that just seems to annoy them. Or they give me the silent treatment. It makes me feel crazy.

B.你的伴侣理解你的感受吗?
1.非常理解,我的伴侣富有同情心和同理心。他(她)总是能理解我的观点,如果我有些意见和看法想要表达,他(她)也总是能做到倾听和理解。
2.不完全是,不过他(她)一直是这样。从我们最开始谈恋爱的时候,我的伴侣就不是特别会关心人,有时候也有点自私。但是只要我需要帮助,他(她)还是会在我身边提供支持的。
3.我的伴侣还勉强能说挺有同理心的,我也没有特别高的要求。
4.曾经可以,但是现在不行了。我现在经常需要非常费劲地向我的伴侣解释,如果他(她)处在我的位置上会有什么感受,但是他(她)对此只会表示心烦。有时候把他(她)惹烦了还会一直给我冷脸看,真是很受不了。


C. Can this person be hypocritical?
1. They have never been hypocritical and they do not judge me for my mistakes. They don’t believe they’re above the rules.
2. If they are, I haven’t noticed. We’re all human after all.
3. At times, but they’re able to admit fault when it’s pointed out.
4. They seem to have extremely high expectations of me, but they behave as if those same standards don’t apply to them.

C.你的伴侣是不是个道貌岸然、求全责备的伪君子?
1.我的伴侣从来不是那样,也不会因为我的过错而评判我。他(她)并不觉得自己有凌驾于基本规则之上、对他人大加评判的权利。
2.可能吧,反正我没有注意到,而且我也无所谓,大家都是普通人嘛。
3.有时候有点虚伪,但是如果被指出有做错的地方,我的伴侣也能承认错误。
4.我的伴侣对我的要求特别高,但是他(她)从来不用那套标准要求自己。


D. Do they ever lie?
1. No, they would never lie to me.
2. No more so than any other person. White lies happen sometimes.
3. They lie every once in a while, but it doesn’t seem malicious or intentional. If caught, they seem embarrassed and uncomfortable.
4. Yes, and nothing ever seems to be their fault. There’s always an excuse for everything, even things that don’t require excusing.

D.你的伴侣撒谎吗?
1.不撒谎,我的伴侣从来不骗我。
2.和一般人一样,偶尔说说善意的谎言什么的。
3.我的伴侣偶尔会撒谎,不过他(她)的谎言不能说特别聪明,也没什么太大的恶意。一旦谎言被戳穿,他(她)还是非常知道害臊的。
4.我的伴侣经常撒谎,而且从来不肯承认自己有什么错。他(她)给所有的事都能找到借口,哪怕有些事情根本没有辩解的必要。


E. Does this person ever pull away or withhold affection?
1. No, my partner would never use these tactics in our relationship. If we ever have problems, we simply communicate them. We don’t ignore one another and wait for someone to break the stalemate.
2. No, I don’t get the sense they’re pulling away or trying to avoid me. They might go quiet after an argument or something, but that’s about it.
3. Sometimes, but it’s been that way since the start of our relationship. It’d be nice to have consistency with my partner, but if I don’t hear from them for a day, that’s all right.
4. Yes, and it really confuses me after how attentive they were in the beginning of our relationship. It feels like they’re constantly making excuses about why they can’t communicate or spend time with me.

E.你的伴侣会不会刻意压制或者回避你的对他(她)的感情?
1.不会。我的伴侣在恋爱中从来不用这种策略。如果我们之间出了问题,我们会直接通过交流来解决。我们不会刻意无视对方,各自等着另一位做点什么打破僵局。
2.不会。至少我没感觉到他(她)在回避我。我们刚刚吵过架的话他(她)可能会比平时沉默一点,不过最坏也就是这样了。
3.有时候会,不过我们刚交往的时候他(她)就是这样。能和伴侣一直保持步调一致是很好,不过假如他(她)有那么一天半天的不和我联系,我也不会觉得怎么样。
4.会,而且这让我非常困惑。我们刚刚交往的时候他(她)曾经对我特别殷勤,但是现在感觉好像他(她)一直在为不能陪我、不能和我好好交流找借口。


F. What about your feelings in the relationship?
1. I feel calm, peaceful, and safe in my relationship. It has been consistent since the start.
2. I’m mostly happy with my relationship and I know I can communicate with my partner if I have concerns.
3. I’m not very happy in the relationship, but I still feel comfortable expressing my opinions and frustrations.
4. I used to be such an easygoing person, but now I feel jealous, desperate, and needy all the time.

F.这段恋情让你感觉如何?
1.这段恋情让我感觉平静、安宁而且安全。我们的关系从一开始就很稳定。
2.这段恋情让我还挺开心的,我和我的伴侣沟通得挺好。
3.这段恋情不能说让我特别开心,但是把我的观点和意见拿出来跟我的伴侣沟通还是没有问题的。
4.我曾经是个开朗而随和的人,可是现在我只感觉内心充满妒忌、绝望以及无法满足的渴望。


G. Are you afraid of losing this person?
1. Why would I ever worry about losing my partner? I know that our love is mutual, and that our relationship is healthy. This isn’t even something that would enter my mind.
2. No, we both enjoy one another’s company and share similar feelings about the relationship.
3. I’m not really 100 percent confident about our relationship, but I don’t think they’d leave me.
4. Yes, after first showering me with praise and flattery, they suddenly seem reclusive and uninterested. I worry that any fight could be our last.

G.你担心失去这个伴侣吗?
1.我从来不担心失去这个伴侣。我们的感情成熟而健康,我没有考虑过要和他(她)分开的可能。
2.不担心,我们都很享受对方的陪伴,对这段恋情的想法也基本一致。
3.我对这段恋情不能说特别有信心,但是以现在的情况来看,我不觉得我的伴侣会离开我。
4.我非常担心,他(她)变得太快了。一开始他(她)对我还充满了爱慕和赞美,结果突然有一天他(她)就开始对我既不满意又不感兴趣了。我现在很害怕我们只要一吵架就该分手了。


H. Do you trust your partner?
1. Absolutely, I would trust them with my life.
2. Sure, they don’t do anything to make me distrust them.
3. Not really, because they seemed to change into a different person as time went on, so I never really knew what to expect.
4. No. I can’t explain why, but I frequently find myself playing detective and digging into their claims.

H.你相信你的伴侣吗?
1.我完全信任我的伴侣,我可以把自己的生命托付给他(她)。
2.还挺相信的,因为我的伴侣从来没有做过什么让我不再信任他(她)的事。
3.不怎么信,谈恋爱时间长了以后他(她)有点像变了一个人,我对他(她)没有什么特别明确的期待了。
4.我不敢相信我的伴侣,虽然我也说不清楚为什么。但是我总得像侦探一样试着从他(她)的话里挖掘真相。


I. Is there drama in your relationship?
1. We rarely ever get into arguments because we naturally understand how the other is feeling. We don’t try to make each other jealous or create unnecessary tension. We’re both striving to build trust with one another.
2. It’s a regular amount of drama for any relationship. Nothing I haven’t experienced with my other partners.
3. We argue a lot, but the same issues don’t come up over and over again. However, I do wish I could be in a relationship with less fighting.
4. They said they hate drama, but there seems to be so much of it. We’re always arguing about the same things. It feels like they’re creating drama and then judging me for reacting to it.

I.你们谈恋爱的过程中会不会经常出现戏剧性的冲突?
1.我和我的伴侣很少吵架,因为我们都很理解对方的感受。我们不会试图让对方嫉妒,或者故意制造紧张的气氛。我们都努力维持着对彼此的信任。
2.偶尔会有,但是完全在正常范围之内,和我以前的感情差不多。
3.我和我的伴侣经常吵架,不过不会为了同一个问题来回吵。虽然我的确希望能谈一段不总是吵架的恋爱。
4.我的伴侣总是说自己最恨戏剧性的冲突,但是他(她)自己的戏就特别多。我们还老是为了同一件事吵架。我感觉他(她)简直是在玩命地给自己加戏,然后还责备我居然做出了反馈。


J. How do they handle boredom?
1. They never get bored, and they enjoy spending time alone with their thoughts.
2. They get bored with mundane tasks, but don’t we all?
3. They get bored pretty easily, but they don’t mind spending periods of time on their own.
4. They’re always bored and constantly seek attention from others.

J.你的伴侣容易感到无聊吗?
1.我的伴侣从不感觉无聊,他(她)也很喜欢独处思考。
2.日常琐事会让我的伴侣感觉有点无聊,不过人不都是这样吗?
3.我的伴侣还挺容易感觉无聊的,不过让他(她)自己打发时间也没问题。
4.我的伴侣经常感觉无聊,而且一感觉无聊他(她)就会试图把别人的注意力都吸引到自己身上。


K. What about their ex?
1. They never mentioned their ex and it’s never been discussed in our relationship.
2. They’re on good terms with their ex but they don’t talk or communicate much, so it’s not really an issue in our relationship.
3. They’re friends with their ex and it makes me feel uncomfortable. But they’ve always been friends, so it’s not my place to say anything.
4. They claim their “crazy” ex is jealous of us and I have nothing to worry about, but for some reason I suspect they’re still talking. I feel like I’m always in competition with others for my partner’s attention.

K.你的伴侣和他(她)的前任关系怎么样?
1.我的伴侣从不在我面前提起前任,我们也从来不讨论这件事。
2.他们关系还行,不过也不怎么联系,所以这在我们的感情里也没构成什么问题。
3.我的伴侣和前任是朋友,我有时候有点不爽,不过他们一直就是朋友而已,我也不好有什么意见。
4.我的伴侣总是说自己的“神经病前任”嫉妒我们,但是我在他(她)的保护之下不需要担心。可是我不知道为什么总是觉得他们应该还在联系,我觉得自己总得和别人争夺我的伴侣的注意力。


L. What was your relationship like in the beginning?
1. We were great friends. It didn’t move too fast, we just made each other laugh and had fun together. All of my friends and family liked them a lot, and we’ve been happy together ever since.
2. Just like any other relationship starts. We got to know each other and had a bunch of things in common. Things have fizzled down since then, but we still like each other a lot. If there was a honeymoon phase, it certainly didn’t consume my life.
3. Nothing special at first. We went on a few dates and I noticed some things that felt off (like maybe being rude to a waiter), but overall they seemed fine. The more we got to know each other, the more comfortable I became.
4. Life-consuming! Much more attentive than my previous partners. They seemed to have all the right things in common with me, implying we were perfect for each other. They texted me constantly and seemed infatuated by every single thing about me.

L.你们的恋情在最开始的时候是什么样的?
1.我们是朋友,一开始进展并不是很快。我们只是在一起玩得很开心,相处的时候也总是充满了欢笑。我的家人和朋友们也很喜欢他(她)。
2.和绝大多数情侣差不多吧,我们认识了以后发现共同点挺多,然后就这么在一起了。虽然从那时候开始就不是特别有激情,但是我们的确是彼此喜欢的。我们就是没有过特别腻歪的蜜月期而已。
3.一开始没什么特别的,我们约了几次会之后,我也留意到了对方一些小缺点(比如对服务员特别蛮横之类的)。不过大体上还说得过去,而且我们相处的时间越长感觉越舒服。
4.最开始这段恋情简直占据了我生活的全部,我的前任们从来没有对我这么上心过。他(她)和我之间有着太多的共同点了,感觉就好像是天造地设的一对儿一样。他(她)总是给我发短信,我身上的每个特点他(她)都喜欢。


M. How does this person treat you?
1. They go above and beyond to listen to my feelings and understand where I’m coming from. I always feel respected in my relationship. If I bring up a concern, they’re always willing to talk about it and improve their behavior to help our relationship.
2. Just like anyone else treats me. We joke around, have fun, and enjoy one another’s company. We both treat each other like adults.
3. They’re usually not very nice to me, but it’s always been that way. I don’t need a lot of affection or mushy kindness, so it’s fine.
4. I don’t even know anymore. We have good days, where it feels like the perfect beginning of our relationship again. But usually they’re patronizing and critical, or they ignore me. I feel sensitive and crazy for being hurt by their behavior.

M.你的伴侣对你怎么样?
1.我的伴侣愿意倾听我的想法、理解我的感受,我感觉自己在这段恋情中得到了应得的尊重。如果我有什么意见,我的伴侣会很愿意倾听,并为了我们的恋情而改进自己的行为。
2.就是普通恋人应该有的样子。我们在一起玩得挺好,我们都很享受彼此的陪伴,我们互相把对方视作身心健全的成年人。
3.我的伴侣对我不能说特别好,但是我们一开始就这样。我也不是特别需要很多的关注或者多愁善感的善意之类的,所以还说得过去。
4.我已经说不清楚了。有时候他(她)对我特别好,就像我们刚开始谈恋爱那会儿一样,但是更多时候他(她)对我颐指气使,还特别挑剔,甚至会直接无视我。搞得我总是紧绷着神经,担心被他们的什么行为伤到。



複式洋房

積分: 259


8#
發表於 25-6-5 22:30 |只看該作者
Results:
13–20: You Know a Genuinely Good Person!
Great news! This person seems like the complete opposite of a psychopath. They are empathetic, warm, and caring. Their intentions are genuine and their behavior reflects that. Wishing you a long and happy relationship!

21–30: They’re Not a Psychopath Good news! This person does not seem like a psychopath. You have ups and downs, just like any normal relationship. As long as you are happy, this is probably a healthy dynamic.

31–41: You Might Know a Psychopath Be careful! There are some red flags about this person. They may or may not be a psychopath, but the bottom line is that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who makes you happy. Someone who is empathetic, kind, and compassionate. Does this person embody those qualities?

42–52: You Definitely Know a Psychopath Watch out! This person fits most of the traits of a psychopath. Are you constantly on edge around them? Did you go from feeling elated and joyful to anxious and frantic? Do they triangulate you with exes or other potential mates? Are you apologizing and crying more than you ever have in your life? Do you feel like you’ve lost your entire sense of self since the start of this relationship? Healthy, loving partners aren’t supposed to make you feel bad about yourself. But with psychopaths, the abuse always starts after you’re already hooked.

测试结果
13—20分:你遇到了一个很棒的伴侣
恭喜你!你的伴侣看上去完全是心理变态的反面。他(她)一定是一个富有同理心、温暖而贴心的人。他(她)的意图一定是真诚的,也会贯彻落实在行动之中。祝你的恋情美满幸福!

21—30:他(她)不是心理变态
恭喜你!你的伴侣并不是一个心理变态。你们的关系可能有高峰有低谷,就像所有平凡的恋情一样。只要你还对这段恋情感到开心并且满意,这些波动就依然在正常范围之内。

42—52:他(她)绝对是个心理变态
小心!这个人符合心理变态的绝大多数特征。你和他(她)在一起的时候是不是总会感到很紧张?你的情绪是不是已经从最初的欢欣、愉快变成了焦虑、狂乱?那个人有没有把你和其他前任或者继任一起组成三角关系?你是不是总得哭泣和道歉?你是不是觉得这段恋情彻底剥夺了你的自我意识?健康、正常并且充满了爱情的伴侣关系不会让你对自己感觉不好,但是和心理变态在一起的话,他们的情感虐待从你们确定关系那一刻就开始了。



複式洋房

積分: 259


9#
發表於 25-6-5 22:34 |只看該作者

測試2:

問題出自一本叫Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist既書,中文版 为什么爱会伤人:亲密关系中的自恋型人格障碍

QUIZ: IS YOUR PARTNER A NARCISSIST?
测试:你的伴侣是自恋之人吗?

Answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:
1. Does your partner seem cold or unfeeling in the face of your feelings or the feelings of other people, or does he seem to have difficulty understanding the feelings of other people?
1.你的伴侣对你的感受或他人的感受是否表现得冷漠无情?是否难以理解他人的感受?

2. Does your partner talk about his life, accomplishments and work in an exaggerated or larger-than-life way (for example, having an impossibly good job, how he is going to have the greatest of everything)? Is your partner arrogant and convinced of his superiority over other people?
2.你的伴侣在谈论他的生活、成就和工作时,是否夸大其词,喜欢自吹自擂(例如,他说人人都羡慕他的工作;他所拥有的一切均无人能比)?你的伴侣是否傲慢自大,自以为超群绝伦?

3. Does your partner believe that he is entitled to special treatment in all areas of his life (to receive special treatment from businesses, service workers, friends and life in general)? Does he become angry when this special treatment is not accorded to him?
3.你的伴侣是否认为这个世界唯他独尊,因此各个方面都应享受优待(如,得到同事、服务人员、朋友,总之生活中方方面面的优待)?得不到期望的优待时,他会生气吗?

4. Does your partner manipulate people and situations to get his needs met, with little regard for the feelings of other people?
4.你的伴侣是否会不顾及他人的感受,利用他人和环境来满足自己的需要?

5. Does your partner become intensely angry very quickly—and usually out of proportion to the situation at hand?
5.你的伴侣是否易怒易躁——时常小题大做?

6. Does your partner often think that people are out to get him or take advantage of him?
6.你的伴侣是否经常认为人们接近他的目的是利用他?

7. Is your partner able to hand out criticism easily, but does he have a hard time hearing even the slightest feedback without becoming defensive and even angry?
7.你的伴侣是否经常对他人吹毛求疵,但却容不得一点逆耳之言?

8. Is your partner frequently jealous of you and your friendships, relationships, successes and opportunities?
8.对于你结交的朋友、建立的人际关系、取得的成功和获得的机会,你的伴侣是否时常心生嫉妒?

9. Does your partner do bad things and not feel guilty about them or even have any insight into the fact that these were not nice things to do?
9.你的伴侣做了不端之事后,是否毫无愧疚之意,甚至根本意识不到自己做了坏事?


10. Does your partner need constant admiration and validation, such as compliments, awards and honors, and does he seek it out (for example, through social media or constantly letting people know about his achievements)?
10.你的伴侣是否需要他人不断地赞美和认可,比如赞誉、奖励和荣耀,是否会为寻求这一切而不遗余力(例如,在社交媒体上不断炫耀自己的成就)?

11. Does your partner regularly lie, leave out important details or give you inconsistent information?
11.你的伴侣是否经常撒谎,回避重要细节,信口雌黄?

12. Is your partner an expert showman, making a big show of everything he does, including parties, the car he drives, the places he goes and the way he portrays his life to others?
he goes, and the way he portrays his life to others?
12.你的伴侣是否精于表演?无论做什么都会哗众取宠,如举办的聚会、开的车、去过的地方以及生活的方式?


13. Does your partner regularly project his feelings onto you (for example, accusing you of being angry at a time he is yelling at you, or accusing you of being inconsistent when his life is chaotic)?
13.你的伴侣是否经常把自己的情绪投射到你身上(例如,他对你大喊大叫却指责你小肚鸡肠,或者自己生活混乱却指责你不忠不诚)?

14. Is your partner greedy and materialistic? Does he covet more things and more money and stop at little to achieve these things?
14.你的伴侣是否贪得无厌,唯利是图?是否贪财贪利,不择手段?

15. Is your partner emotionally cold and distant? Does he become disconnected, particularly at times when you are experiencing or showing strong emotion?
15.你的伴侣否冷漠无情,麻木不仁?他是否会在你情绪激动时,对你漠不关心?

16. Does your partner frequently second-guess you or doubt you to the point that you feel like you are "going crazy?"
16.你的伴侣是否经常对你疑神疑鬼,缺乏信任,以至于你真觉得是自己“疯了”?

17. Is your partner cheap with his time or money? Is he a person who will only be generous when it will serve his interests?
17.你的伴侣是否很少陪伴你,舍不得为你花钱?是否只有在对他有利的情况下,才会表现出慷慨大方?

18. Does your partner regularly avoid taking responsibility, and is he quick to blame others for his mistakes? Does your partner tend to defend himself instead of taking responsibility for his behavior?
18.你的伴侣是否时常推卸责任,一有问题就归罪于他人?你的伴侣是否遇事只知道为自己辩护而不敢承担责任?

19. Is your partner vain and absorbed with his appearance or how he displays himself to the world (for example, grooming, clothing, accessories)?
19.你的伴侣是否爱慕虚荣,只注重自己的外表(例如,自己的形象、衣着、配饰)?


20. Is your partner controlling? Does he attempt to control your behavior? Does he appear almost obsessive and compulsive in his need for order and control in his environment and schedule?
20.你的伴侣是否有强烈的控制欲?是否总想控制你的一切?他对生活秩序、周围环境和日程安排的需求是否近乎顽固偏执?

21. Are your partner's moods, behaviors and lifestyle unpredictable and inconsistent? Do you frequently feel like you do not know what is coming next?
21.你伴侣的情绪、行为和生活方式是否鬼神莫测且自相矛盾?你是否对未来经常感到迷茫和不知所措?


22. Does your partner take advantage of you and other people on a regular basis? Does he take the opportunity to ensure his needs are met even if it means inconveniencing or taking advantage of the connections or time potentially offered by you or other people?
22.你的伴侣是否为了达到个人目的,经常利用你和他人?为满足个人需要,他是否会不择手段利用你或他人的关系或时间而无视他人是否方便?

23. Does your partner enjoy watching other people fail? Does he take glee in the idea that someone's life or business is not going well, especially when that person has typically done better than him?
23.你的伴侣是否乐于看到别人的失败?是否会因他人,特别是比他强的人,生活、事业遭遇不顺而幸灾乐祸?

24. Does your partner find it difficult to be alone or spend time alone?
24.你的伴侣是否害怕独处?

25. Does your partner have poor boundaries with other people? Does he maintain inappropriate relationships with friends and co-workers, and keep doing this even when he is told that this is uncomfortable for you?
25.与他人交往时,你的伴侣是否缺乏界限意识?与朋友和同事的关系超越界限时,即使得知你对此感到不悦,是否依然我行我素?

26. Has your partner ever been sexually or emotionally unfaithful?
26.你的伴侣是否有过身体或精神出轨的情况?


27. Does your partner tune out when you are talking? Does he yawn, check his device or get distracted by papers and tasks around him while you are talking to him?
27.你说话的时候,你的伴侣是否表现得爱搭不理的样子?你和他说话时,他是否总是哈欠连天,盯着手机,查看文件或做其他事?

28. Does your partner become vulnerable or sensitive at times of stress or when things are not going well? Is he unable to cope when faced with significant stressors, and does he become very fragile at these times?
28.当遇到压力或遭遇不顺时,你的伴侣是否变得异常脆弱或敏感?面对巨大压力时,他是否无力应对,并且脆弱不堪?

29. Is your partner regularly neglectful or just not mindful of basic communication and courtesy (e.g., letting you know he is going to be late, or reflexively saying and doing hurtful and careless things)?
29.你的伴侣是否经常忽视或根本不注重基本的沟通礼仪和礼貌(例如,故意迟到,说话带刺,粗心大意,无视他人感受)?

30. Does your partner frequently use his appearance or sexuality to get attention? Is he very flirtatious, or does he frequently use sexy banter with people outside of your relationship in his words, actions, and social media posts or text messages?
30.你的伴侣是否经常通过光鲜的外表和迷人的魅力吸引别人的注意?是否擅长调情,经常与他人打情骂俏,通过社交媒体或短信与他人开一些媚俗的玩笑?



複式洋房

積分: 259


10#
發表於 25-6-5 22:36 |只看該作者
If you answered “yes” to 15 or more of these questions, you likely have a pathologically narcissistic partner. If you answered “yes” to 20 or more of these questions, then it is pretty much a guarantee. Obviously, some of these characteristics are more problematic than others, and some may cause you more distress. For example, you may have answered “yes” to only a few items, including number 26, because your partner cheated on you. Not all cheaters are narcissistic, but that one behavior may have betrayed your trust in a significant and permanent way (however, it will be rare for a person with an unfaithful partner to have that as the only “yes” on the list). Some of these questions hold more weight than the others when it comes to diagnose or pathological narcissism. The key questions include 1: grandiosity, 2: entitlement, 4: empathy, 10: admiration and validation seeking, 13: projection, and 18: avoidance of responsibility. These characteristics form the core of narcissism and fuel the dynamics of superficiality and inability to form deep and mutual inmate relationships. If your partner has these key characteristics, many of the other questions on the list will follow. No one will have a partner for whom all of these answers will be “no”—all of us have some of these characteristics —so you may have a sweet empathic partner who just happens to like a very clean car or closet. One snowflake does not make a blizzard and one “yes” does not make a narcissist. However, the more of these you are experiencing with your partner, the more challenging your relationship will be.

如果你有15个及以上问题的答案为“是”,说明你的伴侣很可能就是一个病态自恋者。如果有20个及以上问题的答案为“是”,那么基本可以肯定你的伴侣就是一个病态自恋者。当然,自恋者的这些问题各不相同,有些问题可能让你尤感痛苦。例如,你的答案中可能只有几个“是”,例如第26题,因为你的伴侣背叛过你。诚然,并非凡背叛者必是自恋者,但仅是这一种行为,就足以让你对你的伴侣永远失去信任(然而,对于伴侣不忠的人来说,背叛一定不是测试中唯一的“是”)。用这些问题诊断病态自恋时,有些问题所占的比重更大。主要有:第1题,自大自负问题;第2题,自命不凡问题;第4题,缺乏同理心问题;第10题,渴望认可和赞美问题;第13题,外向投射问题;第18题,逃避责任问题。这些问题的特点构成了自恋的核心,是造就自恋者肤浅人际关系的动因,也是他们无法形成深入且相互信任的亲密关系的根源。如果你的伴侣具备这些关键问题特征,那么应该也存在测试中涉及的其他问题。以上这些问题,没有哪个人的答案全是“否”——我们所有人都或多或少地存在其中一些问题——有可能,你的
伴侣是一个甜蜜有同理心的人,但是碰巧他也喜欢将汽车或衣柜收拾得一尘不染。一片雪花不足以引发暴风雪,一个“是”不足以判定一个自恋之人。然而,肯定的答案越多,你和伴侣的感情就越具挑战性。


侯爵府

積分: 20753

母親節2025勳章 2025勳章 2025勳章蛇年勳章 2024年龍年勳章


11#
發表於 25-6-6 00:10 |只看該作者
rhysl72 發表於 25-6-5 22:18
References

https://dn790004.ca.archive.org/0/items/APA-DSM-5/DSM5.pdf

快d 醒啦。
早D 從新出發。再講,工作嘅嘢,其實都係人夾人緣。
渣男呢,有NPD 都唔怕,你的情形,只怕佢有AIDS.


珍珠宮

積分: 45417


12#
發表於 25-6-6 00:32 |只看該作者

回覆樓主:

本帖最後由 hellomiki 於 25-6-6 00:32 編輯

水蛇春咁長 睇到好辛苦無睇晒,樓主,let it go la,活好當下

點評

Yuyufung2000    發表於 25-6-7 21:14


珍珠宮

積分: 35131

2025勳章 2025勳章蛇年勳章 2024年龍年勳章


13#
發表於 25-6-6 07:13 |只看該作者
好長


男爵府

積分: 8354


14#
發表於 25-6-6 07:36 |只看該作者
凌陵綾 發表於 25-6-6 07:13
好長

睇睇下冇心機睇


珍珠宮

積分: 47008

減齡達人勳章


15#
發表於 25-6-6 07:38 |只看該作者

回覆樓主:

呢個post 可能是我在bk 20幾年來見過最長嘅

因太長只睇了幾行字,然後碌落去睇各位comment, 點知竟然碌來碌去都未見盡頭


珍珠宮

積分: 35131

2025勳章 2025勳章蛇年勳章 2024年龍年勳章


16#
發表於 25-6-6 07:43 |只看該作者
野原美冴 發表於 25-6-6 07:38
呢個post 可能是我在bk 20幾年來見過最長嘅

因太長只睇了幾行字,然後碌落去睇各位comment, 點知 ...
same


拉咗半日都未到底


男爵府

積分: 7178


17#
發表於 25-6-6 07:50 |只看該作者
回覆 野原美冴 的帖子

原來唔只我一個係咁


象牙宮

積分: 207001

2025勳章 2025勳章蛇年勳章 醒目開學勳章 大廚勳章


18#
發表於 25-6-6 07:53 |只看該作者

回覆樓主:

破曬我再討論區見過的長度, 痴線有冇人會睇~

相信自有讀心理學的學生 ,才會去睇~
大力理財篇 之 子女理財!

http://www.baby-kingdom.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=3868590&extra=page%3D1
買基金真係好傷
http://www.baby-kingdom.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=3294843&extra=page%3D1


伯爵府

積分: 19597


19#
發表於 25-6-6 07:55 |只看該作者
RAY媽 發表於 25-6-6 00:10
快d 醒啦。
早D 從新出發。再講,工作嘅嘢,其實都係人夾人緣。
渣男呢,有NPD 都唔怕,你的情形,只怕佢 ...

一針見血…..勁(emoji)(emoji)


伯爵府

積分: 19597


20#
發表於 25-6-6 08:03 |只看該作者

回覆樓主:

睇得出同感受到樓主的憤恨失望後悔傷心…...内心好多嘅負面情緒…

佢兩個人都係啩係你人生嘅過客...當作一個人真係經驗....同樣地你都要檢視下自己..了認識自己真正嘅需要…...

事情已經發生咗...調整及治療咗自己情緒及內在創傷…要學懂學習放下,活在當下..

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