yokieric,
My husband also had depression three years ago. He is now Ok already but still need to take medicine. Last time when he was sick, he even can not go to work for 2 months. Do not scare of depression, this is only one kind of sickness and it also can be treated. :wink: I quess the Dr. might give you medicine and normally this medicine will need to eat for at least 2wks then it works.
You can try go to your family Dr.(private Dr.) and ask him to write you a letter. You can bring the letter to the Gov't Hospital for queue up. Please remeber to tell your family Dr. that you even think about want to suicide(so he can write in his letter to the hospital) and normally they will place your appointment earlier.
Our family Dr. is in causeway and he is a Dr. who will listen to what you said and won't force you to leave asap(around$300 for 3days medicine. If you need I can give you his name and add.
Excerise is very important, in the mean time if you can, pls go excerise it is really good for Depression patient.
Don't worry, as I remeber it seems don't have side-effects. Some people thinks this might not good to health or can not quit forever but this is not true. The medicine can really help and I hope you can recovery soon!
I can understand how you feel as My father was the one who love me most (my mother love only my brother) and he passed away 9yrs already. I still miss him very much! If you feel nobody love you and may be I can tell you at least we all here care about you and remeber God love you all the time! If you go and find him and you will knew how much he love you and us!
I wish you can be happy and have self-confidence soon! :wink: