夫婦情感 今日: 7 | 主題: 42725

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1^#

發表於 10-2-22 23:47 |只看該作者 |倒序瀏覽 |打印

deleted!!!!

[ 本帖最後由 heismama 於 10-4-13 03:37 編輯 ]

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bbwhale

別墅

積分: 755

2^#

發表於 10-2-23 00:04 |只看該作者

你咁後生又真係幾難取捨決擇既, 如果要繼續同一個唔愛人既人生活, 又確係幾辛苦, 但如果因為咁令到小朋友唔能在一個完整既家成長又好似唔多好, 真係難以選擇, 或者樓主你睇下可唔可以再忍忍, 忍多一時, 等小朋友再大少少會懂事一點先.

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傻BB

禁止訪問

積分: 5363

3^#

發表於 10-2-23 00:15 |只看該作者

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

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whitesky

積分: 1533

4^#

發表於 10-2-23 00:15 |只看該作者

wow, do u know every word in your msg to explain your feeling is very much the same feeling I had for my husband before.

I talked to many mums in my child's school and found out that most men are like that. Even when my husband is at home, he won't know how to teach my child, the only thing he can do is to play with my child. And I found that most mums are more patient and detail to teach their children. Dad is the playmate. Instead of playgame, my husband would seat in front of the PC and read books, newspapers all the time. Your husband is not exceptional, many many men are just like that. Like my husband was spoiled by my 99, doesn't know to do anything in the home. I think that is nothing to do whether he loves you or not.

I spend lots of my time with my child. I took him to classes, playgroups, park and lots of places all by myself while my husband simply sleeps all day on weekends.

Even my husband spends much less time with my child, my child still loves him a lot and enjoys the time with his dad. Why? As most child loves to have someone to play with and enjoys having fun. I'm most on discipline role for my child. So, don't be upset why your child loves his dad. That's very normal and besides, whatever your feeling towards your husband, please don't get involve with your child. Before even when I got upset with my husband, I still would not let my child knows and tried to control my emotion so that my child still loves his dad regardless what.

I used to think like you that I have a stable job and financially I can raise up my child too. I set a distant from my husband and I didn't want to talk to him as it is no use. After a long while, I got used to live on my own life without care if he is in the home or not...I can say i lost and numb my feelings.

Luckily I got a good helper to help out a lot of things and make my life more easier and my home very clean and organized. It makes me have more time with my child and stop feeling upset why my husband doesn;t help me to share the chore at home.

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積分: 5417

5^#

發表於 10-2-23 00:34 |只看該作者

其實我知道好多男人都係咁
但問題係我真係估唔到我有左佢真係一d都唔幫我
呢樣先付到我最失望同心淡
如果佢幫完我手打機唔緊要
佢要有自己既娛樂
但我真係唔明點解佢話攰要打機放鬆
而我返工夠攰返到黎仲要做工人
我想走係覺得再咁落去2個人生活係同一間屋好無意義......

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whitesky

積分: 1533

6^#

發表於 10-2-23 00:51 |只看該作者

原帖由 heismama 於 10-2-22 23:47 發表
我廿二歲結婚一年後有左bb
個時既我好希望有個家
仲以為搵到個好錫我對好我又就我既男人
點知結婚後一齊住就發現大家好多地方唔夾
而且婚後所有家務都係我做
佢日日放工返黎只係識打機
我放工返黎都8點幾
要煮飯洗 ...

I have a 3 yrs old boy too. I really think having a family for your child is very important. No matter how great you can take care of your child. You can never replace the role of a dad in your child's heart. A dad will be a role figure for your child when he becomes older. One of my colleague got divorced as her ex had an affair with a woman. She said her child, at that time 4-5 yrs old, has developed insecurity character no matter how much she loves her child and time she spends with her. And her child always stops her to meet other men too as she worries after her dad left. Mummy is the only one left for her. She worries her mum will left her alone one day. My colleague is a very pretty woman. But because of that, she was not successful to find another man....

I totally understand how you feel and i got exact feeling like yours before. I will go to tell him my feeling if he is willing to talk and propose how to revive the relationshipagain. I know you must be tired. Do you have a helper at home? A helper may able to share your daily routine like cleaning, washing and cooking. my helper will also read books and play with my child too.

If you ask me should you get divoced, I would say no unless there is an affair and you can't trust him. I would say you are more tired of the situation and feel numb because you had been so disappointed for so long because his irresponsible to help you anything and physically tired due to overload work at home. As a result your love to him has faded. But I think you can save your marriage if you are willing to try.

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ChammyMAMA

瑪瑙宮

積分: 145022

好媽媽勳章醒目開學勳章畀面勳章

7^#

發表於 10-2-23 00:52 |只看該作者

我覺得呢個男人起碼都會為你而改變,肯挽留番呢個家,可能你會覺得太遲,但有點都好過無吖,你可以SET一個期限比自己,睇下可唔可以再接受呢個男人囉!!

緣是天意，份是人為，有緣相遇者，珍惜緣份的來臨

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積分: 5417

8^#

發表於 10-2-23 01:15 |只看該作者

其實問題在於我真係已經唔再愛呢個男人
佢而家做既野我根本無感覺....
亦都唔覺得我可以再愛番佢
我同佢根本就好唔夾
以前拍拖可能有好多野睇唔清或者係可以就到
但結婚後一齊生活就發現原來就好多問題
根本一開始就已經係一個錯誤
我好想同自己我對呢個男人仲有少少愛
但可惜....我真係呃唔到自己
我每次對住佢就有煩厭既感覺
再加上佢對小朋友既期望同我唔同
我好想係我能力範圍內比最好既教育佢
我自問細個讀書唔係好好
而家大個左就明白原來學歷係好緊要
但佢唔係, 佢成日覺得讀書唔係唯一既出路
當然, 因為佢做個行係用勞力
梗係咁講啦
我都好想小朋友大個左出黎做野唔好咁辛苦....
基本上係生活上, 要求上我同佢根本就唔同
佢係原地踏步既人
覺得搵到份萬幾蚊既工就已經係夠
係, 無錯, 萬幾蚊一個月唔係差,
但當有個小朋友既時候
我當然希望留多d錢比小朋友
同埋我地而家仲係租樓
我唔介意辛苦d留多d錢唔請工人想快d買樓
但似乎係我自己一個人辛苦law.....

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sharonwing_17

積分: 2494

好媽媽勳章

9^#

發表於 10-2-23 01:20 |只看該作者

睇完之後我覺得..

其實你都變左心變左對佢灰心同埋對其他人動左心
其實無論你老公再點對你都好你都只會覺得太遲因為你只記得佢點對你差過

我同你有d似我老公又係打機狂
我每日番工放工番屋企湊囡做家務煮飯每晚訓既時間係半夜2點我老公咩都唔會做最後未日日係到嘈交
最後我地平心靜氣咁傾過分配好工作先好d
我由有左到我生完bb 我老公都無幫過我因為佢番工辛苦所以我只好在家中幫輕佢一d
但到左我出番黎做野佢唔幫手做家中事我地就開始嘈了

其實你有無同佢坐底傾過d問題?就連佢問你你都唔講
樓主你似去意意決喎

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積分: 5417

10^#

發表於 10-2-23 01:29 |只看該作者

其實家務我之前已經講過
每次講既時候佢都話"咁你米唔好做law"
我聽到覺得好好笑
我唔知邊個做
大家何來有衫著
呀仔又著咩
大家唔執成個狗"豆"咁呀仔點住
可能之前佢聽到就算啦
但今次我真係講我想走佢先驚
但可能已經太遲
話就話對個同事心動
其實我唔係中意個同事
只係突然個有個男同事走左出黎有少少好感
但返到hk一切打回原形
我同佢依然只係同事既關係
我諗當日出trip個個就算唔係佢另第2個
我都係會心動
因為原來我真係好耐無同屋企個個溝通了
佢既出現只係令我知道原來我已經唔再愛屋企個個同埋出trip個幾日多左時間諗野
如果唔係可能我一直無咁既時間去諗愛同唔愛既問題

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Yan_yan_Mom

複式洋房

積分: 344

11^#

發表於 10-2-23 02:08 |只看該作者

原帖由 heismama 於 10-2-23 01:29 發表
其實家務我之前已經講過
每次講既時候佢都話"咁你米唔好做law"
我聽到覺得好好笑
我唔知邊個做
大家何來有衫著
呀仔又著咩
大家唔執成個狗"豆"咁呀仔點住
可能之前佢聽到就算啦
但今次我真係講我想走佢先驚
但可能已 ...

其實你現時應該搵出真正原因.
1) 你本身已經唔愛你老公?
2) 因為佢唔幫你手照顧屋企?
3) 因為你同同事有FEEL, 先有唔愛你老公既感覺?
如果
1) 你根本唔會提佢唔幫你手既事, 因為佢做唔做你都無FEEL. 甚至你唔會因為佢既對答影響你心情.
2) 好明顯只係家庭工作分配. 唔分氣, 做多做少問題
3) 婚後之癢
OF COURSE, 如你唔愛佢, 你又咁YOUNG, 你可以親早重新嚟過唔好浪費大家時間同青春. 小朋友由誰照顧都無問題, 有好多心理輔導比佢地.
但你只係因為自己同佢比較誰負出較多, 及要求有幾多回報. 你應好好檢討及改變想法, 及坦白同佢商討解決問題.
頭家你你地兩個, 好似對腳, 無咗一隻頭家就行唔到落去咖啦.

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hinhofion

積分: 4120

12^#

發表於 10-2-23 07:00 |只看該作者

明白你感受,我都經歷過,不過c6年紀漸長,個人成熟左後,真係會變,以前2x歲仔時,邊會唸老婆辛苦,更加唔好唸佢會幫手湊仔,但e+3x歲人,做第2任爸爸,改變好大,會湊仔返學,幫個仔睇下功課,有時我太多野做時,都會幫下我吸塵拖地,有時又會睇住個細女,等我可以甩身做其他野,當然間中都會呻下打少左機,但係佢都明白我幾吃力,呻完又係咁幫下手,我唸你c6都係比較年輕,男人同女人唔同,佢地冇咁早熟,你想離婚要唸好多野......因為仲有個仔,冇小朋友ga話可以好簡單,當涉及有小朋友時,事情就唔可以只唸自己,停一停唸一唸,祝你唔開心日子快d過

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小余

積分: 4935

13^#

發表於 10-2-23 10:02 |只看該作者

原帖由 Yan_yan_Mom 於 10-2-23 02:08 發表

OF COURSE, 如你唔愛佢, 你又咁YOUNG, 你可以親早重新嚟過唔好浪費大家時間同青春. 小朋友由誰照顧都無問題, 有好多心理輔導比佢地. ...

有輔導唔代表無左daddy對小朋友無影響!!
對小朋友來說,媽媽是地,爸爸是天,無左天/地其中一個,對小朋友來說都是世界末日!

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hinhofion