My husband go to the internet to have an affair with a married woman 3 months before......I discovered this matter in end of May...and he didn't hide any more..he chated with her in the yahoo messenger every nights 3 hours, phone her 2 hours a day....I really get hurt every day...and he ask me to separate, he said he is one man one woman only..he fall in love with her...so he wants I can agree to separate..I get so anger and I phoned this woman and shout to her, my husband kick me out..now I live alone..
But I saw my baby last two weeks ago, she is only 3.5 years old..and I find that my husband made sex with our maid...that is my baby told me..I asked my baby..do you sleep alone, and she told me she sleep with Papa and Lilis (our maid) ...and I asked her more detail...she mention how my husband take out Lilis undewear...and kiss her ass..shower together....I don't think my baby will tell a lie like that...
Now it is not only the married woman ..and also our maid to be his lover.. I really get hurt..Is it a time to give up?
But I still love him..I don't know how to do??I write an e-mail to him, he doesn't reply any..I phone him, He limit my call only one day 3 times..and even he change the home phone number.
He said he doesn't love me any more..I agree to change myself but he refuse to give me any chance..BUT I ask him when he will proceed the divorce, he doesn't want to talk.
And he went to Euro with our maid on 18th Aug..he will back on end of this month. And he promise to go to see the social worker with me next month.
I love him..this man, I love him 7 years..Before we married, I promise to love him forever...I also love my baby..I want to live with my baby again..
But now I try to move forward, I try to enjoy my life with my own..and something will connect me with him only my baby..
I mess in both feelings..I don't know how to do..after I find this matter..I totally lose 20lbs..that is because I can't eat, I can't sleep..
In my opinion,
it is not worth to love him anymore.
He just like a play boy, and doesn't care the feelings of anyone, he just love himself!!!!
Even your baby is staying with him, but he just want to "stay" with yr baby , not really care about yr baby.
If i were you, I will find the lawyer asap, then start the divorce procedure first, then let him know that
u are no longer love him , and u forgive him !!!!
Agree. Get your baby back, forget him, find a job if you don't have one now. I am sure you will live happily. You don't need to seek for any professional advise if you think it will save your marriage. Save your time and plan for your baby. Be strong, remember no one will die of losing anyone. Take care.
He is a good man and good husband in before..after my maid show him how to search the people in the internet..and he try..and he can't get out of it.
While man is change..totally change.
I try to get help everywhere, even I consult the family helper in USA..and they said if I fight this man back, I only can get more hurt..
This marriage will never a good relationship..he will think I accept his action, his affairs.
I know my husband's behavior is despicable. He obviously has no respect for me and should not be allowed to parade his mistress around in front of my daughter. It's disrespectful of me and it's potentially damaging for my baby. In fact, I contact Child Protection Dept this morning, but it isn't a lot of help I can get from them...
Can I record how my bay saw this matter in the tape, and record to the Protection Dept ..and find a lawyer fight it in the Court?
I am a mother... I want to protect my baby..I don't want my baby will get the wrong feelings about the love, relationship, sex..This is not a healthy environment for a 3 and a half year old baby.
I think you better hire a detective to take some photos of his "life". You may show them to proof that he is not suitable to be the one who take care of your baby. Also you may divorce with him faster and without any problem. Of course don't tell anyone while you are doing this, even your family and your best friend.
This man is not a good husband either a good father.
How can he had sex with the maid in front of your daughter?!
For the good sake of your daughter, you should fight back and stay with your daughter. He already admitted everything which means he no longer love you.
Be strong and leave this man, life without him will be much better for both you and your kid, you will be hurt deeper and deeper if you keep related with him.
Now, my problems is my less sleep...while I moved out..I have almost one week can't sleep..rather say no sleep, I closed my eyes, but my heart really hurt me, can you understand the pain really come from my heart and wake me up every 10 mins in the night...
Why it is so pain..and now I understand what is heart broken.
Still now, I can't really sleep more than 4 hours a night..I look so terrible..my face is pale.
I can't eat well..I try, but when I have five spoon foods, I stop..can't eat any more, I know I need to eat, so I have some milk and fruit..sometimes only a soup.
Is a cry can help...?
When I discover his affairs, I try everything to mend the relationship..even I come to his office, try to spent more times with him to get the solution. that is before Aug.
After Aug he doesn't want to see me..
But I really can't understand that Indo. maid, she know what he is doing, but she still willing to be her sexual parener..?
He wants to keep all the money, doesn't want to share with me...I also need to find out how to do..he earns 4 times more than me..
I have job..while I am busy, it helps me reduce a little bit my sadness..
And I don't tell any friends of mine and also my family..(maybe I still keep hope in this relationship)
Now I really face this problems lonely..but all of you..really give me feel better.
Divorce doesn't mean the end of the world.
We do understand your pain...it really hurts when someone you love betrayed.
Believe me, time heals. For the sake of your daughter, you should be strong, she doesn't has a good father, so you are the only one.
Even you earn less than your husband, so what? He has to pay child support even you two divorced. He committed adultery and you for sure have a bigger chance to have your daughter.
Try to sleep as much as you can, if you feel like crying, cry out loud until you are tired, and try to get a better sleep. If I were you, I will tell one or two of my best friends, this help to release the pain and pressure.
Feel free to voice out here in BK, all we mothers are your good listeners.
How can u still love a crazy man like him ?
unbelievable!!! How on earth can this crazy man did to make u love him so much ? What the hell !!!
Dun u feel disgusting when your 3 years old daughter told u his act with his maid ?
Bygone are bygone. Regardless of how good this man was, this had been a history. The man u are now thinking of, sufferring of, is a man of horror with no dignity. Get a life !!!
There is no point to be sad. Sad would mean that this man still have value on u. U should be happy for u could realise the real him and to get rid of him. U should thank god for letting u know the truth.
Frankly speaking, you hubby has no intension to keep the love and family relationship anymore and he wants to quit out. I know it would hurt you deeply and it is really not easy to mend your big wound. I understand that you are heart-broken and totally collapsed right now.
Try to brave to face your future life, although it is not easy to stand up alone. Think about your daugther, you must find the way out. Release him, release yourself. It is not worth to struggle the marriage relationship with him. Forgot your lousy hubby! Don't put a hope on him. He is a destroyer to break the whole family.
Trust that time is a good doctor. I hope you can stand up yourself. All BK mom here is a good listener and will comfort you always.
He made a decidion to leave me, also because he join a course for life improvment...he get to know some friends also divoce..they teach him how to treat the ex-wife.
And he said we are two different people..he loves to arround people and get their attention, go outside with friends...and I like peace and stay at home..
The main problems is he has a lot young female friends..compare with them, he feels I am not suitable for him..I still remember when we went to a wedding party in mid of May..how he looked arround the younger beautiful women..and how he showed his lost interest on me.
And both of this two woman is younger than him 10 years..
I know he will not stop his action to find more fun with different woman...
I fully understand what your feeling now, cause I suffer exactly the same as you NOW, but luckily, I don't have kids. But my heart is really "die". I had go through all the same things as you (cannot sleep and eat, my brain cannot stop thinking the man, it's really driving me crazy), but now, seems I had wake up a little bit. So, if you need anybody to share, you can e-mail me (please check PM as I had left my e-mail address to you).
Apple2008.
Let me tell you something. My mother has a friend and she has the exact experience than yours. She was even worse that you because she quitted her job right after she got married. Try to imagine that after 10 years of her marriage, someone kicked her out on the street. With no money, no job and with a son, how could she survive? At that time, she did considered to kill herself but she didn't because she has a son. She was a secretary before so she found a same job and met a French guy later. That French guy taught her how to dress up, how to find her confidence back etc. Now she married with him and live happily all three together. Her husband told my mother one day that "I saw my ex-wife on the street with someone else. She is so beautiful that I have never realized before. I am really regret to get divorce with her".
I hope you will make your husband feels the same thing in a short future. Don't think too much, eat more, sleep more, start to apply for divorce and get the professional opinion about how to get your baby back.
I know this is not easy for you or I better say for every married woman. Since the thing happened so the only thing to do is find the solution. We will all stay here with you.
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