She said according to family tradition, I should stay at my home for 1st month and she will come to help me. Query 1 - from past experience, her daugther and 1st daughter-in-law did not get these treatment. So I don't expect she will say so, I have employed a maid at my mummy's home to serve as baby sitter or helper to let my mummy to take care of my baby girl. (Well, 99 didn't ask me the matter about the arrangement of taking care of my baby girl afterwards within these 9 months, so I did not tell her anything about this arrangement and the arrangement is strongly agreed by my husband) 
, 但我媽咪都會介意, 所以我坐月時都係媽咪黎我家住/幫手到過左一個月後先搬返媽咪到住的 :lol: 我個人認為姑勿論62/99是否真的一個好幫手都好, 都要當佢地幫唔到手論, 咁到時又唔會唔開心, 又唔會有咩爭嗌, 其實點都好, 都係自己個家舒服d, 所以我都會建議你留在家中修身養息好過搬一大堆野去媽咪家住 另外, 你個工人有無陪月/湊初生經驗呀 有的話佢會係一個好幫手, 個時我個工人佢真係好掂架, 所以我基本上都唔使咩人幫不過媽咪都有過黎跟下眼咁我就會多左時間休下息囉 
and, promise that they could visit their granddaughter without any difference 
you need to control your temper and aware of the wording in talking about these, it's better to let your husband to do
I really be frightened towards this suggestion since I do not accept my sister-in-law as a qualified baby-sitter for my baby !!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe I am so cheap to look down her but I don't want to bet my baby's health, future and..... on the hand of someone I don't agree her method of taking care of baby and children. :cry:
purplemummy 寫道:
Problems caused by my husband due to dinner gathering at 99 & 62 home tonight.
99 asked us where I will plan to stay after giving birth of my baby? My husband told her that I will stay at my mummy's home. Problem 1 came out.
How can I reject her decision? (my husband told me that 99 & 62 do really want to help me and they want to visit their granddaughter anytime)
But I really afraid I can't manage a good relationship with them especially the critical period (just after my give birth to a new born baby) and how to tell them I have employed a maid at my mummy's home. I afraid 99 will think I treat my mummy better than her.
Alan : staty at your own home with your newly employed maid.
Problem 2 arised - the name of my baby girl. My husband continued to ask 99 & 62 the comment about our decision of my baby girl. We suppose they will not give any comment since from past experience the elder brother of my husband did his own decision on his baby boy's name without asking comment/ permission from 99 & 62. Unfortunately, 99 told me the name in her own provincial langage and mandarin, the sounding of baby name will in the conflict with 99's brother and 99. Only the same sound not same words!!!!!!!!!!
She said it is impossible to use the name. My Husband asked 99 to choose a name for the baby (my Husband did not yet tell me his move before he spoke out this suggestion)
Alan : ask a Fung Shui Master to name the baby to avoid any conflicts
At that moment, I feel very terrible and being tricked by my husband. From past experience, my husband will always stand with me, stay with myside. Today, his performance is rare and scared me now.
Apart from this, my husband told me he have take a month leave to stay with me to go though the 1st month of our new born baby before. Sadly, he asked my pardon to let him to go to do some his own business within this period 2 night before. I did give support to me to do so for the sake of better future of our family - my husband, me and baby. But Now I Really Regret to let Him to be since I have a Hard Feeling that all is planned by Him.
Alan : asks your husband to stay; you definitely need his support during the period
Alan : I'm afraid that you are a little bit over nervous. Pls remain calm/peaceful.
How can handle these problems / Situation? :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(
is there any evidence to support your comment? purplemummy 寫道:
Thank you for all advices.
I have told my mummy about the arrangement requested by 99 and my mummy did accept but she expected my husband will tell her in person. Last night, my husband came to my mummy home for dinner and picked me up but reluntant to say anything about the arrangement. My mummy does feel uncomfortable about his attitude towards this matter. (Well apart from this, their relationship is quite good)
Now, I am very panic that I have to clean up my house even I have to give birth to my baby girl on next Monday. Time is so urge because I have to be arranged to check-in to hospital on this Saturday and stay until Monday's operation. I afraid I can't finish all cleaning jobs before this weekend. It may be my fault that I am a shopping addict and within my pregnancy I do not dare to move anything in my house except necessary things (I have a bad experience that I have miscarriage 2 years ago and I maybe so irrationally to blame the cause of the miscarriage is due to I have moved my things and have a big clean-up during the early stage of pregnancy. And the issue why I have to do so was my 99 said she would come to my house to help me to clean my house for my sake.)
I feel very uncomfortable to do the cleaning but I have to...... since my 99 will tell 62 and other people that my house condition and so many clothes as gossip. ( I have heard a lot of similar gossip before) And also both my mummy and 99 do have the same religious belief and common friends. I don't want my mummy to lose face due to me. I will keep on to clean up my house and hide the 'collection' - my clothes, shoes, handbag......
Alan : forget the 'cleaning' la, we never ask pregnanted women to do the 'cleaning'
For the employment of maid, how can I tell 99 & 62 about this matters without let them feeling I am using too much $ (although the$ is earned and paid by me not my husband in this aspect) Since after I changed my job to self-employed instead of regular paid 3 years ago, I do not pay them a regular household expense. But we do pay them $ on festivals e.g. Lunar New year, Birthday, Father's Day ....... Although the annual payment of irregular household expense to 99 surely more than the previous regular payment, I still afraid that 99 & 62 will have a bad feeling towards my arrangement of employing a maid to take care my baby and placing the maid and baby to my mummy home.
Apart from this, I also afraid my 99 will suggest me to place my baby to 99's another daughter-in-law for sake of helping the finance condition of 99's elder son. 99's another daughter-in-law i.e. my sister-in-law is taking care of her own son (age 8) and recently she has taken care of a child of her husband's friend for half day including feeding dinner to the child for about $1800/month. Before I have this baby, once my mummy told me that my 99 has said that she will suggest me to let my sister-in-law to take care of my baby to let their financial condition be better off.
At this moment, I know I should take more rest and relax but my concern, my fear do let me being sleepless.........
Alan : Hi Purple, pls remember that no-one or nothing in this world can be greater than a pregnanted woman. Pls feel free and enjoy the most beautiful period of your life. No one can put any pressure on you!!
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