My yan yan worked with us about 2 yr and 8 months. However, she suddenly told us that her grandmother was very sick (maybe will die immediately) and want to see her to get marry.
I'm quite satisfy her .......... but what should I do now..... she want back to home......and get marry with her fiance (now her fiance is in Shanghai). She want to take leave about 2 weeks if I agreed, otherwise she want to resign.
If you want to keep her and allow her to return home for 2 weeks, then,
1. ask her to 打避孕針;
2. don't give return ticket to her even though she is eligible if she did not get it during contract renewal. Reimburse to her after she is back.
3. tell her that if she does not return on time, then she will be regarded as 單方面終止合約
My maid worked for me 2 years.When I renewed the contract with her in Feb, she told me she would have her 14 leave days in this summer. But, in June, she asked me to let her have 3 weeks leave back to Indon. for marry and she was going to cancel the hoilday in summer.
I was so shocked and I asked her sincerely to have her 3 weeks leave in summer (marry) I told her honestly that I don't have such long hoilday for her leave in Dec. It seems impossible.... One week later, she said that she canceled her plan and would get marry after finished this contract.
However, In Aug, she suddenly told me that she decided to go back to Indo for marry :evil: I strongly rejected her and asked her why she could always change her mind. She then said it was arranged by her parents, she said if so she has no choice then she only can work for me until next Feb (1 year of the second contract)
As my agent had reminded me that my maid might not back to Hong Kong if she get 3 weeks leave for marry. Even she will back, she may be pregeant......
So, I replied her that "O.K"
After that, I 'm afraid that in Dec, she may suddenly told me that she must go immediately and in fact, she has earned almost 3 weeks vaction leave until Dec, this year. So, I 'm now have enough time to apply the replacement for her and I plan to let her(my miad) leave in Dec. But I won't tell her until my new maid's visa has been approved.
Now, I strongly believed that she has well-planned to cheat me to have the new contract renewal.Orginially, She has planned to leave in Dec or she planned only work 1 more year for me.
I discussed with some friend, she told me that she know one "Yan yan" also use this reason and request one month leave days from her employer (also make the request after renewed the contract)
Now, she has not yet returned after 1 month
So unreliable..... :-( :-(
Our relationship is not bad, she still respects us and hopefully when I asked her to leave in Dec, not any trouble will come out :cry:
Okay... You guys are not the worse.
My Yan yan left without notice only 6 months after contract renewal.
Reason: want to get marry.
but she' never told me her plan... just quite and one day ( on her day off) she just never return home.
I heard from her friend months later, she left HK the same day she left my house.
I've always know that she wants to get marry... last year, she told me she want to go home for 2 weeks druing Nov to get marry... but her mom died back in Sept, and she needed to go back. When she came back in Sept, she told me her marriage plan has changed and she's willing to sign another 2 years with me. I did not question her too much because I was pregnant and was pre-occupied with a lot of things.
On june 11 this year, her off day, she left. ( i have a 2 year old and a 3 months old BB at that time)She did take anything from my house. Left me one- month's paid and gifts for everybody in the house.
My point is... if they had mentioned to you about wanting to get marry... better watch out.
I think you should prepare to hire new maid... It's really hard .. YOu can never " force" or say " NO" or even ask her to stay untill certain time;.
Even you say NO.... so what, she can leave anyway.. if she really want to go , she will go. and worse thing is.. she will just leave without notice becuase you will say no to her anyway.
Yan Yan are not very good in saying " no" ... and you can never read their mind.... they always like to say " okay" " yes" but inside, you don't know what they're thinking.
my maid and I were like sisters... we had very good relationship. Still, they're very unlikely to tell you what they really think.. or they're just too " embarrass to tell you ......
Oh no, my maid did tell me that she wanna get married after 1 year (ie. Dec 06) the contract starts. I hired her last year in Dec 05, at that time, I already told her that I cannot hire her if she need to take leave for going back to Indo to get married because the contract is not finished yet. Then, she made long-D call to talk with her parents and boy friend in front of me and promised me that she’ll not go back to Indo during the mid-contract. Finally, I hired her and she has been working for me 8 months now. Her performance is perfect and has good relationship with us. She looks very honest and sincere; at least I’ve never found that she lies to me.
Few months ago when I noticed that I’m pregnant, I asked her again if she still needs to get married in this Dec. She answered me sincerely that she’ll not but until the contract finished in Dec 07. I talked with her again because I don’t want to force her to do something that she doesn’t like. Honestly, she’s a good maid that I’ve never met.
When I hear about all your cases, it alerts me but I worry so much. I’m going to give birth to my 2nd baby in this Dec that is exactly the month she planned to get married before. I need her helps to take care of 2 babies, I can’t afford to loose her in that critical period of time. Her passport is kept by me so I don’t think she can leave us suddenly. But as you said, if she asked to leave in Dec, I’ve no choice but to let her go….
Any suggestions? How can I trust her? Should I pay safe to apply another maid first instead of sit and wait?
OpheliaMama,
Congradulations on your 2nd pregnancy...
Looks like you and I are the same case.
You know, I decided to get pregnant again becuase she had promised me for another 2 years.... I trusted her and I thought she was excellent. She was not only my maid, but like my housekeeper....
I heard from a maid who lives in our same building.. that she had decided to leave while I was still in the hospital ( deliver BB)... but she told the her that she will help me for another 3 months so she left when my new bb reach 3 months on the exact date.. she also told her that becuase I treated her so well, she was too ashame to tell me that she wanted to leave.
Anyway, I think you should plan ahead...sometimes pressure came from family or boyfriend wanting them to return to get marry. Things could change... and you may never find out or notice.
If you can afford, I would sugguest you hire another maid ... in case she wants to leave. Also, 2 BB ( depends on the age of your 1st child) really need 2 maids.. espeically if you're a working mom.
BTW, another funny story...
After my maid ran away, I went ahead to sign 2 new maids... not becuase I want 2 maid... I just wanna be safe... Turns out, one of the maid has disappear after the visa came out... the agent could not reach her.. I guess she decided not to come. .. Luckily, i've signed 2... so I still have one more coming next week. If not, I'm back to square one!
:evil: :-( :-( :-(
Me too, I decided to get pregnancy becuase I got a good maid and she promised me to work for 2 contracts (although she needs to get married when the 1st contract finish) and then go back to Indo for good.
Yesterday after reading other mother’s cases here, I worried so much. My husband suggested me to talk with her again. Last night, I asked her to sit down and encourage her to open her mind to tell me about her marriage planning. She replied me that she’s still discussing the marriage date with her boyfriend and parents but it must not be earlier than Oct-07 (contract will be finished in Dec 07). I told her that I was satisfied with her working performance, so if she’s gonna to get married in Dec-06, I’ll let her take leave and found another temporary helper to wait her back. Or if she’s not going to work for me after marriage, I can now find another replacement. Anyway, I encourage her to tell me the truth; I promised her that I’ll not blame her (actually I’ve never blamed her in this 8 months coz there’s nothing worth to give her a long face, she’s really excellent) and prohibit her to go because she’s a good maid. She smiled sincerely and comforted me, promised me again that she’ll not suddenly ask to go for marriage because she needs to take care of 2 children. She promised me that she’ll give me 6 months notice in advance before marriage so that I can arrange my annual leave. On the other hand, she’s just paid money to buy a house in Indo, she needs more money now to prepare for future living.
She’s so sincere to reply me last night. Refer to your case, I know that I should be alert anyway. Since her passport is kept by me, she cannot suddenly disappear but may ask to go immediately. The 2 maids I was hiring before was so bad, I’ve no confidence to get another good maid. A maid’s leave isn’t a big deal, but loosing a good maid will really screw me up…. Now I need to think about to buy insurance, ie. hire another maid to pay safe.
:-(
OpheliaMama,
so good to hear you had a good conversation with your maid. I guess, you don't have to worry so much now.. just sit back and relax and " get fat" happily....
If I were you, I would 'look' for one more maid passively... ie, let the words out that you're looking for a maid, but no urgent... just see who comes along... take your time, and if you see good one, interview.... if you truely like , than think about whether you need one more maid.
What i'm saying is... no need to rush... but keep your ears open for good maid.... becuase down the road, 2 kids are really demanding so 2 maid may not be a bad idea.
I was considering to hire 1 more maid to take care 2 children. But finally, I decided to send my daughter to full day nursury but keeping only 1 maid coz I've no confidence to hire another good maid. So now my daughter stays in school from 9:00 - 4:30, she's fine there so I don't think that I need 2 maids anymore.
Are you a working mother? if yes, who's helping you to take care of the 2 babies after the yan yan ran away? I've experience to loose a maid suddenly so I fully understand how difficult to overcome those dark days...
Dear OpheliaMama,
I'm a FT mom.. but still, 2 BB ( 6 months and 30 months) are demanding..
My maid is supposed to arrive on the 4th... let 's see if this one shows up or not!
yeah... Full day nursery is not a bad idea. at least you know she's in good hands.
so how far along you are now?? do you know if it's a boy or girl??
When I give birth to the 2nd baby (he's a boy) in mid-Dec 06, my daughter will be 38 months old. I can imagine how busy you're to take care of 2 littles monkeys without the help of maid.
My husband is asking me to quit the job to take care of 2 babies with the maid. But I've no experience to be a FT mother, I don't know how'll it be?!! Can you tell me? You enjoy it? Did you work before?
Hello OpheliaMama,
Like I've always told me husband... 2 years ago, I oversaw over 300 staffs in the company.. and now.. I only manage 2 maids, 2 kids, and YOU!
HAhahaha...
yes, I did work and miss working so much... but honestly speaking, how can I work with 2 young kids at home. I'm not saying I don't trust my maid to watch them... I just want to spend time with them when they need me most.
I want to be able to take my girl to the park, to swim , to shopping ,and to her Ballet lesson each day... I bet if you're not working, you wouldn't want your girl to stay in school for a whole day... you could arrange different activities for her in the afternoon, right??
You will see a big difference in a kid who has a working mom or a kid who have a FT mom.
Also, don't ever think" if i don't work... i will be bored to death at home" WRONG!!!!
You won't... I found that I am 10 times busier ... even with the help of your maid, you still have tones of things to take care as a FT mom.
Of couse, financially, I have to sacrifice a lot of luxury shopping and went back to basics... but, I 've never regret not working.. Watch them grow and being there for them is the biggest reward already!
So... I fully support F moms ( given $$ is not an issue). FT mom is not easy....think about it la, I think you would enjoy it.
p.s. I will return to work when my boy is 1 ( I need the $$ as we are considering buying another house).... 3 years is enough and is a good investment in my life!
My Ind maid just told me her mother is sick now & she want to go back to Ind for one week on Oct, how come today is 1st of Sept?? She said she give me one month for arrangment
I need to go to work, no body can help me to take care my son, he is just 17 months old, so... I don't know what to do??
She work for me for one year & she said the contract is one year only, I told her the contract is two years & she need to pay me one month salary for breaking the contract then she told me she do not need to pay because I fire her, the reason is I do not accept her vacation.
I want to know can she apply the leave during the contract time?? If I do not accept, I need to pay the one month salary to her???
If I accept she go back to Ind?? Can I ask her to pay the cost for body check & ask her to 打避孕針?
Many many questions, I think I need to call my agnecy to disscuss tomorrow.
Thanks for your sharing, glad to hear that you enjoy FT mother life with your 2 lovely babies. I can imagine how critical was the decision you made and how much you gave up to be a FT mother if your previous job was bearing such big responsibility. I admire you, you're great and brave! But managing the family is actually a bigger challenge than building career, right?!
Something happened last night, so I’m making up my mind again to plan for being a FT mother. Your guess is correct! Last night, my maid suddenly told me that her boyfriend was angry with her and asked her to get married with him in this Dec 06 although she’s not willing to make it so early. My delivery due date is Dec too! I told her that I’ve not choice but to hire another full time maid to replace her if I cannot find a part-time helper to give help during her leave! She looks anxious when she heard about loosing a job! She wanted to come back and worked for me. My next offer to her is that she may go back to Indo in Nov 06 before my delivery. Finally, she discussed with her boyfriend and confirmed me that she’ll get married with him in July 07 but not this Dec! She kept saying sorry to us coz she made us worry!
Now, I’m pretty sure that she was going to ask for leave suddenly in Dec if I didn’t initiate a serious conversation with her few days ago! Honestly, she works very well in the past 8 months and never been a trouble-maker. Otherwise, I would fire her without any hesitation!
Since last night, we can no longer trust her, so we decided to hire another maid (pay safe) in case if she suddenly asks to leave! So, thanks so much for all mother’s sharing here, it really alert me to pay attention on her.
If you was me, what will you do? Any others I should take into consideration?
I found that your maid is so rude, she suddenly asks for leave not feeling guilty but keeps fighting her own benefits with you? Honestly, if she worked for you with satisfactory performance in the past, you may consider to let her go and wait her back. Otherwise, you may consider to hire another maid to replace her. Or you can refer to my case, tell her that you'll hire another maid to replace her if she insists to leave. If she doesn't want to loose the job, she may change her mind very soon!
If she really insists to leave, seems that you've no choice. I don't think it's useful to keep her if she has decided to go, right?! She'll play around with you until you let her go. Or she may leave the baby home alone and suddenly disappear (if she keeps her passport)! Be alert!
OH MY GOD!!!!!
I would not trust too!!!!!!
Go ahead... hire another maid NOW!!
ask her to train the new maid.. but don't let her know you don't trust her now... becuase if she thinks she may lose her job, she may not give you 100%( work hard)
Just tell her you're hiring 2nd maid becuase you think 2 maids and 2 kdis are better...
Your case is 90% similar than mine... if you want to, you can call me,..and we can talk over the phone... I have more to tell you.
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