I'm also a first time mum. I breast feed my BB but my milk is not enough. My 99 always tell me to eat more (actually I do) and she always calls me when I'm very tired. We try my best to take care of my BBs but always others would have comments on us. Don't be upset. I also have your experience. However, when we look at our BBs, they can always give us strength & energy. Yup, I think you really need to find someone to listen to your stories. Please try to seek help from a family worker. If you can't go out, you can try call them. They have intake worker to handle your case. Cheer up!