I have BF my angel for 4.5 4 month lu. In this 4.5 months, I went through the process of:
- little supply (which I felt shameful when I hand it to my mom to put to the fringe)
- milk duct blocked (terribly painful)
- no appropriate area to pump after getting back to work
- wake up at 0545 to start pumping everyday
- pump at 2300 to avoid blocking the milk duct after sleeping for 5+ hours
- pump average 40 mins each time x 6 times a day to increase my supply no matter in the office or at home
- 手腕筋膜勞損 bec of milk pumping and have no time for physiotherapy as I need to rush back home to feed
- lower back pain bec of milk pumping
- feet pain bec of milk pumping.........etc
I was very depressed when I have to feed angel some milk powder when she was 2-3 weeks but now I am so proud that I am able to feed my baby only with my milk!! I really don't want to quit as I know I have what's the best for baby and I therefore should continue no matter what.
However, in these 4.5 months, I had 5 times of 乳腺炎... high fever (104c)+ 發冷 + breast pain (can't stop screaming each time) + whole body shaking + 出淡汗(渾身濕透)...it was really an awful experience. I went to govt + private hospital + clinic for help. I saw many doctors, 6 out of 7 of them recommended me to quit and I decided to quit every time when I had 乳腺炎. However, when my fever, breast + body pain is gone, I find it hard to quit. As I have gone through such a long process to achieve it, I don't want to give up.
I never think that I am able to be a 全人奶媽. I have worked so hard to make it and finally I can make it!
I think I will feel easier if I am unable to produce --> then I have no choice and can just quit. I have what's the best for BB and so it is hard to for me to choose not to give ar.
Giving birth to a baby is not easy BUT choosing not to give her the best is VERY HARD
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