my baby little girl is just 6 months old. since her birth, i have been struggling whether i should be a full-time mum. you know, being a teacher is not an easy task nowadays. i found that if i want to perform as well as i did before, i need to sacrifice the time being wiht my girl. at the same time, i can't trust my maid. once, i found that my baby's towels were not rinsed thoroughly so they were all soaked with detergent. at that time, my girl started to stuck everything she can grab into her month. i am still worrying whether she has taken in any detergent. since that incident, i have been really sensitive to the hygienic conditions of my baby's bottles and whatever.sometimes, i find myself a bit oversensitive but i can't help. really don't know how to make a decision? i'm still keep praying for that.
anyone having similar situation?
I was a teacher, and i quitted already more than 1 year
I am a very devoted teacher, and since the first year i taught, i was the english panel chair and that means more workload, right?!
as i am a devoted person, i also want to be the best mum as well, then the problem came, coz it's impossible (for me at least)!!! at that time, my 99 and maid worked together to take care of my bb, so I didn't have to worry about the hygiene or safty of my bb, and also my 99 lives in the same building of us, so it seems to be perfect that i can strike a balance between my work and my bb, but that's not the case!
every day, I have to leave b4 7, and every evening i can only return home after 7, and when i got home i was exhausted with no energy at all to play or even talk to my bb......and there was still a lot of paper work for me to finish every night when i got back home.....but i really missed my bb and was very eager to build a close relationship with her just the normal relationship between mum and bb, but as i had no time to stay with her, she was unwilling or even resisting to do so, she liked to be hugged by the maid or granny, when i tried to hug her, she just tried to push me away and yelled and cried ....i was treated like a stranger to her..... :-( :-( those mums would understand how that feels.....it's really heart breaking.... :-( :-( and i had to pretend to be okay while tears were overloaded in my eyes....coz i don't want my 99 to misunderstand that i was jealous (actually i was) and i don't want to be weak in front of my maid coz she already thought i could do nothing with my bb without her...) so i just kept all my hard feelings in my heart and when i went home I locked myself up and cried ....this scared my hubby and made him so worried.....
on the other hand, as the negative feelings accumulated, i got no energy in my work, but the busy and demanding school work won't wait for you and give you a break, then i was also frightened to go to school ,,,,finally my hubby and i aaware that i've got emotional problems, so i got a very long sick leave from my school and actually my principal was even wanted to let me have more sick leaves, she even asked me to keep the post as long as i could....but finally i decided to quit coz i know that being a good teacher and a good mum at the same time is impossible for me, i can only either well....and there4 i chose to be a good mum coz that's what i really want and need....i think the word "need" is more appropriate....
although teh famlily income decreased a lot, i still enjoyed to watch my angel every minute, now she's very "sticky" to me......her smile, her kiss, her nice and sweet voice calling "mummy" all remind me that it's worthy....coz i can be a teacher anytime i want, but i cannot afford missing every precious moments with my little angel
thanks for replying me. i really appreciate your courage of making such a hard decision.
you should know what i mean. i have to consider the financial situation of my families and it seems to be impossible to find a teaching post after several years. speaking of emotion problems, i think my case is not serious but i can't sleep well for a long time. i always wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning and i always dream. so when i get up, i feel very exhuasted. i think i'm too anxious. by the way, how old was your bb when you quitted?
we have financial problems too, but as we have made this decision we have to make compromise.....
I was not worrying about finding teaching post coz i think as a good teacher, there's always a post
and actuallu i was a little bit scared of the life as a teacher, it's really exhausting, I think even not for my bb, I would like to change to other field, but I can't figure out what else can i do....
last week i talked about the idea of FTM wiht my collegues adn they asked me to have a second thought. they suggest i request my school to offer me a part time post next year. (there are some part time teachers in my school) so now i am wondering whether i should quit or ask for a part time post. what do you think?
yeah, i do think the outsiders don't understand our workload and stress. even my mom doesn't understand. she always blames me not spending enough time with her and now she also nags that i'm not capable enough to be a good mother. she wonders why i'm still so exhuasted even i have a maid to look after the bb.
compared with part time job, my husband also prefers me to be a full time mum. but i think it will be no way back if i quit. doing a part time, i can at least retain a position.
i've also consider remaining everything unchanged until my bb has any special needs or faces any problems, but will it be too late to remedy when i discover her needs / problems?
I have been a 0.5 teacher 7 years ago. It is a good choice for my family. For myself, I can keep contact with the educational field, the financial situation is not so poor, and the most important point is You can have more time to take care of your own kid. It is very precious.
In fact, when your child is old enough to go to kindergarten (i.e. 2/3 yrs), you can do part-time job. The only thing you need to consider is whether you have enough energy to handle your work in the morning and take care of the family in the afternoon and night. For me, I have a maid to do the housework, so that I can have quality time with my kids.
Hope all of you can have a balance between job satisfaction and family intimacy.
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