夫婦情感 今日: 2 | 主題: 42742

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發表於 08-8-23 22:47 |只看該作者 |正序瀏覽 |打印

It is a long story, thanks for the patience:
Marry 12 years with a 7 years old daughter.
They both love their daughter very much.
He is boring guy and stay at home most of the time while she is very popular and outgoing.
He responsible for earning and she takes charge of everthing of the family.
He knows she is always right but her temper is not good, having conflict in daily life is natural but she will be very angry if thing are not done exactly what she wants. She also find their helper make her very angry, change 5 in past 3 years already and she said she won't change the last one as she knows all will be the same but she decide to stay at home less since half year ago.
She said she is very dispointing with her husband of not knowing what she wants and she wants to find the way of living that she likes. She started to have some new friends and go out lately almost every day, even at home, talk the phone or sms all the time, all her friends are male.
Her husband is not happy about that, but she said she treats them as friends only, she is not happy when staying at home, he should support her and she is not gonna to change. She is very angry if he asks more. (she is always right in the past 12 years)
He is very painful because he dosen't know if he should believe her and he really cannot accept this kind of living especially he think she is not responsible for the family including her daughter (she asks her father why mother never come back before she sleeps), furthermore, he feels very tired of taking care her daughter alone after work and he has financial burden as well as her spending increase very much recently.
He starts to think of separation but he also think of her daughter. On the other hand, she dosen't want to change, she wants to keep her way of living and dosen't want to hurt her daughter.
What should the man do?

[ 本文章最後由 Sadman07 於 08-8-24 17:49 編輯 ]

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23^#

發表於 08-8-30 00:33 |只看該作者

ringoivy, I think he tends to take your word. Of course he still working, helper take care his daughter, their monthly expense over 100k though he spend less than 10k a month himself. She get use to be always right for many years, difficult to change.

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春天

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22^#

發表於 08-8-29 17:48 |只看該作者

原文章由 ringoivy 於 08-8-29 16:43 發表
咁你仲有無做野呀個女邊個湊其實我想話你太寵過老婆啦, 5係佢話要點就點的, 兩個人相處係要互相遷就, 你下下都忍咁樣落去都5係辦法既然你都打算豁出去的話, 倒不如恨恨咁比最後一個warni ...

我諗樓主而家真係進退兩難，萬大事都要以個女為先呀，同佢太太約法三章更無可能，講道理就唔會攪成咁喇！唔忍都要忍住先呀！頂住呀！

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ringoivy

翡翠宮

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21^#

發表於 08-8-29 16:43 |只看該作者

咁你仲有無做野呀

個女邊個湊

其實我想話你太寵過老婆啦, 5係佢話要點就點的, 兩個人相處係要互相遷就, 你下下都忍咁樣落去都5係辦法

既然你都打算豁出去的話, 倒不如恨恨咁比最後一個warning佢

你兩個嘗試妥協, 一個月你容去佢去街幾多次

佢5守信用或5妥協, 你就同佢講呢個家5須要一個咁任性既媽咪同妻子

佢踏出呢個家半步就叫佢以後咪返黎

原文章由 Sadman07 於 08-8-29 16:04 發表
He earn money, also support her business(still loosing), daughter 7...........

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20^#

發表於 08-8-29 16:04 |只看該作者

He earn money, also support her business(still loosing), daughter 7...........

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ringoivy

翡翠宮

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19^#

發表於 08-8-29 15:54 |只看該作者

sadman,

我想問你家陣邊個係經濟支柱呀

個女又幾大個呀

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filleul

積分: 1635

18^#

發表於 08-8-29 12:19 |只看該作者

我相信呢位太太認識佢老公嘅时候，已经知道佢係一個不懂情趣嘅人，但佢都诀定同佢结婚，仲生埋仔，咁條路係佢自己揀，如果呢個老公唔係佢要求嘅男人，根本就唔應該嫁比佢，除非佢有其他目的。

同樣，既然佢生活得咁辛苦，老公又完全滿足唔到佢嘅要求，而佢根本都無意圖或企圖去改善同修補两夫妻嘅關係，反而做一啲更加傷害對方嘅事，直頭係想破壊多過建設！佢話为個女，但我又唔见得佢緊張同爱個女囖！佢唔肯离婚，可能有其他原因！

我認为呢位太太係比緊好多藉口，實在我都好懷疑佢根本爱唔爱佢老公！一般正常嘅人，如果真係想维持良好嘅婚姻關係，同埋爱對方嘅，都會設法改善同增進夫妻感情。甚至有啲丈夫有婚外情嘅太太，如果仲係爱佢老公，就算幾痛苦，都會設法說服自己去原諒老公，盡力修補同挽救段婚姻啦！有啲太太仲會唸會唔會係自己做得唔够好，所以老公至會揾第二個女人，而唔係放縱自己，又或者不断係度埋怨對方啦！

所以呢位太太，如果真係爱佢老公嘅話，就應該做啲正面同积极嘅嘢，由此可见，佢根本都唔係全心全意爱呢個家同爱佢老公同個女！！！！

原文章由 Sadman07 於 08-8-28 17:13 發表
Spring, you have rightly point out his problem, he doesn't know how to "tum" her. She complain amny times. The problem is that he does not know how to do and he find she has double standard (maybe log ...

[ 本文章最後由 filleul 於 08-8-29 12:21 編輯 ]

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17^#

發表於 08-8-28 17:13 |只看該作者

回覆 #1 春天的文章

Spring, you have rightly point out his problem, he doesn't know how to "tum" her. She complain amny times. The problem is that he does not know how to do and he find she has double standard (maybe logically, she expect her husb more), she seldom satisfy his choice of gift, while she appreciate much of others gift

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春天

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16^#

發表於 08-8-28 17:03 |只看該作者

樓主有無想過，你太太同你一齊之前係一個點樣嘅人，過去嘅生活又係點樣？嘈交時有無講一d你無做過，但佢會好憤怒嘅事。例如從來都無送過花比佢或者第一個生日你無陪佢過，諸如此類！可能會發現一d端倪！

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15^#

發表於 08-8-28 16:06 |只看該作者

As a family man for so many years, he does not have many friends. Moreover, it is difficult for him to talk to other his story, just can talk to his 2 best friends, their opinion is expected, no man can tolerate that. He thinks that man may have bias, therefore, he ask for ladies' view here (BK). Seem majority, even ladies share the similar view....
The decision is very easy if no children, but..
The decision is easier if she has affair, but he cannot prove... he still think this is just her character problem, but he is quite sure she is not gonig to change after knowing her so many years......

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ding-2003

積分: 410

14^#

發表於 08-8-28 01:12 |只看該作者

雖然我不贊成離婚，但明顯地那位太太的心已不在這個家，心野了。

其實那女人在外面可能早就放縱得心也收不回來了。假如她的心再不在，做丈夫的無論做什麼也無用了。

現實一點，將精力和資源，投放於為自己和女兒重建一個家，更有好處。

男人40尚是盛年，女人30則所餘無幾。

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ksman

積分: 1122

13^#

發表於 08-8-27 22:26 |只看該作者

Innocent daughter will suffer the most. However, the wife is very selfish as she only consider what she wants, not what the family needs. If divorce is the only solution, I think the man should tell the daugher what is happening. In fact, a 7 years old girl know quite clear about what is a divorce. My colleague's daugther knew their parents were separated when she was 4, she is 6 now. What is the different between to have a mother shows no caring or no mother?

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jamie_mama

男爵府

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畀面勳章爸B勳章

12^#

發表於 08-8-26 21:06 |只看該作者

回覆 #2 Sadman07 的文章

What is she talking about? She doesn't want to divorce but agreed to move out of their home? So she keeps this marriage only for their daughter? But what is she doing? Apparently, she is the one who does not care about their daughter? What's the point of that? She just doesn't want to be the bad guy here! I don't see there is any benefit to keep this wife/mom in your family!

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WLM

禁止訪問

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發表於 08-8-26 20:01 |只看該作者

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

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發表於 08-8-25 21:41 |只看該作者

He is almost 40 and she is just over 30.
He never scold her but she scold him often for minor things.
She is pretty but he is not good looking at all.
Her dream is having her own business and he support her to start her small business a year ago. The first few months is good, because she finds she can have more flexible time including taking care her daughter (she work all along before, she said she cannot stay at home all time), but since then, when she has more friend (male), the responsibility of taking care their daughter leave to him.
He thinks of separation as he feels very upset of what she did, after talk, she said she cannot stand staying in their house and agree to move out, but she also said she doesn't want to divorce for the benefit of their daughter.

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MarketCEO

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發表於 08-8-25 16:07 |只看該作者

Does she have a job? A full time mother might become bad-tempered after years of non-stop housework / baby sitting, etc. If her husband, as a boring person, seldom communicate with her, she'll become frustrated and seeking for peers outside. Although she shouldn't have come home late often, it might be her own way to escape from what makes her bored.

I'll suggest the HE trying to pamper SHE before scolding her behaviors. Perhaps she'll eventually understand that even though HE is boring but he loves her the best.

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小必理痛

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發表於 08-8-25 13:41 |只看該作者

What the hell of this woman, huh? Become the mother for 7 years and she still being naive like that! Is she still wants to trace back the love feeling rather than keeping well of her family?

Although divorce is worst for family, especially for the next generation, it is the final way to release a marriage. But in most case not to touch wood, make sure to let the way of divorce becomes a warning of that woman. Of couse, maybe she prefers that way and I will call this woman as a bitch! If that woman loves her daughter, please take care of her daughter's mind and the whole family, even though she don't want to care about his husband.

God bless the man and his daughter.

[ 本文章最後由小必理痛於 08-8-25 13:46 編輯 ]

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hay.hay.ma.

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發表於 08-8-25 00:06 |只看該作者

Is the lady implying a separation but waiting for the man to speak up?
Just based on the limited information, the lady is not a good mother/wife. A bad role model from the family may not be a better thing for the daughter than having a broken family.

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發表於 08-8-24 08:08 |只看該作者

請提供寶貴的意見

Yes, she does complain that all activities are with the daughter , therefore, they try dinner for 2 only. But still, talk the phone and sms. They did talk, he express his unhappy on what she did (it is very specific : he wants her to spend more time for the family and not angry easily - everytime she stay at home she find many thing make her angry and resulting everybody unhappy) but she said she is not happy at home, he not supporting her (all these are very non-specific and he finds that he does not know what to do).

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李露媚