I know it may not be fun, but can you guys agree on how many times of sex per week? This at least can lessen the conflict of him waking you up or of him feeling rejected.
有小朋友... not as easy.
這麼多年, if two of you cannot solve the problem by yourselves, it may be time to bring in professional help. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.