RE: YOGA YOGA YOGA
pluie
it's not easy to understand your parent-child pattern on the net but i try my best to share my experience with u here.
Behavioral Therapy is a long term but useful mean to change one's inner. here i give u an example:
9 mths ago
my friend got a 2nd baby when her 1st child was 2 yrs old. the elder one is boy & the 2nd one is girl.
The boy got jealous so much as the girl was born. Of course the mum was trying her best to let the boy knew he's still having mum's love.
here are some problems:
1, the boy would beat the daughter's thigh when the mum hadn't keep her eyes on them. of course the daugther cried & the mum scolded the boy & then they boy cried too.
2, when the daughter touched the boy's toys of pillow, the boy took it back from the daughter's hand quickly & sometimes it hurt the daughter. the daughter cried & the mum scolded the boy & then they boy cried too.
3, when the mum or other ppl hugged the daughter, the boy asked them to put the daughter down & hugged him stead.
process:
1, i let my friend send this message to the boy:"妹妹細細個,要錫妹妹." and "你係哥哥,要錫妹妹." my friend did it very well.when i was in her home, i was noticed that she at least said it out twenty times a day. & of course she told the boy while he fell asleep.
2, let the boy have other method to release his jealousy. i let my friend teach the boy like this, "我又要抱抱,媽咪抱完妹妹要抱哥哥." of course the boy may not know how to speak full sentance. but u could say it out for him.
3, when the boy beat mui mui, sure he needed to be punished "你打妹妹?妹妹細細個,你係咪唔錫妹妹?同妹妹講sorry!" u can't expect he can correct it in two days but u need to keep telling him this. give positive regard to him after he says sorry to the daughter. Only a few weeks, sometimes the boy still can't control himself to make the dughter feel pain, but he has regret impression on his face. & he says sorry to the daugther actively.
4, let the boy do sthg for the daughter. my friend is very clever. u know, the boy is now responisble for taking diapers, clothes, comb, cream & milk to the daughter. surly, u need to give him positive regard in any time! appreciate the boy in front of the daughter "妹妹你睇哥哥幾let,識得ling片片比妹妹.thank you 哥哥" "嘩,哥哥跳舞比妹妹睇呀?哥哥好錫妹妹呀!你睇妹妹幾happy!"
5, the most important thing is u need to let him
參與. u can let him see how to change diaper with the daughter or feeding the daughter, teach him while u r doing. "
better a witty fool than a foolish wit
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