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Baby Kingdom - 親子王國香港討論區 › 首頁 › 少年成長› 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教 Part II

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樓主: SandraLo

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發表於 09-10-9 15:44 |只看該作者

Dear Sandra,

我啱啱發現尼個topic, 好貼心, 我都好想請教你.

我個女現得16個月人仔, 一食到唔鍾意嘅野時就噴出嚟,包括粥仔, 麵包, 飯等(有時睇心情, 冇野食時口水都照噴, 攪到我地周身都係.)試過佢食得好時讚佢, 教佢唔想食就吐落媽媽隻手度, 佢唔明, 好多時一唔鍾意就噴, 有幾次好嬲之下就輕力打向佢個嘴, 個刻就哀咗一陣, 之後唔記得再嚟, 請問我應該點糾正佢呢?? 試過問playgroup個導師叫我地同佢講, 你噴即係飽啦, 飽就唔食啦! 但咪好似教佢唔食就噴出嚟?? 謝謝!

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發表於 09-10-9 23:16 |只看該作者

原帖由 haymama2009 於 09-10-8 22:56 發表
as i know, helper sometimes wl tell him a joke or give him some candies, or switch on TV etc.

last time, helper told my son, if u cont'd like this, then i not take care u la,then my son stop by himse ...

haymama2009

兩個都唔好！
工人用的是嚇, 而你則方向偏了些, 因你的獎法有可能會助長他發脾氣！
試看下面兩個情況：
(1)
小朋友小事大喊, 媽媽對他說：唔好喊啦, 唔喊就俾糖你.
(2)
小朋友小事大喊, 媽媽由得他喊, 到他停時, 媽媽即時讚他：好乖喎, 冇喊啦, 我地一齊食糖啦！
這兩個情況你看到什麽分別？

p.s. 睇咗兩個主打topic的第一個post未？

教仔心得：媽咪容易犯的錯誤
http://www.baby-kingdom.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=951856&extra=&page=1

成日話「讚」可以改正小朋友壞行為，到底點解同點讚？
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com//v ... page%3D1&page=1

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發表於 09-10-9 23:45 |只看該作者

原帖由 GraciousC9 於 09-10-9 11:10 發表

SANDRA,
平時溝通是好似朋友方式傾計, 無分大細的咁...是的~ 我份人好直接, 是刻意的直接問..所以我好努力學習你的方法去改自己問題...
多謝您的意見, 你的見解同我一樣, 謝謝您呀...我明白了, 因我有時用montersor ...

GraciousC9 :

喔...... 誤會了, 我不是說你給了他太多自由...... 而是選校這些他真的不知怎樣決定, 尤其係他剛對這校失去信心, 另一間學校是怎樣的. 他是無從估計, 所以要由你去幫他和給他鼓勵！

答番上次的問題：
(2) 我也不知道
(4) 你想他睡覺就要給他一個睡覺的環境, 讓他知道那個就是睡覺時間, 例如刷牙, 換衫, bedtime story, 上床, 熄燈等等.
(5) 如果單單係「捱」, 即係辛苦少少同有d唔開心, 反為可以, 但依家担心嘅係令佢失咗自信心同打壓咗學習興趣, 呢個影響先緊要, 重要係講緊之後十幾年咁長, 咁有幾嚴重, 要你先至知, 先幫佢決定到.

[ 本帖最後由 SandraLo 於 09-10-9 23:46 編輯 ]

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發表於 09-10-9 23:50 |只看該作者

原帖由 臻臻爸及媽 於 09-10-9 15:44 發表
Dear Sandra,

我啱啱發現尼個topic, 好貼心, 我都好想請教你.

我個女現得16個月人仔, 一食到唔鍾意嘅野時就噴出嚟,包括粥仔, 麵包, 飯等(有時睇心情, 冇野食時口水都照噴, 攪到我地周身都係.)試過佢食得好時讚佢, ...

臻臻爸及媽：

你意思係佢食開嘅野(唔係第一次試)都會無端端噴出嚟？

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joycepsk

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發表於 09-10-10 14:59 |只看該作者

Sandra,

我會試吓, 真的十分多謝妳的指教!

原帖由 SandraLo 於 09-10-2 23:32 發表

joycepsk :

似乎都是適應的問題...... 放假太開心, 不想和家人分開, 不想返回現實！
留意一下她哭著說不返學時, 你們不要流露担心、心痛或不想她哭的表情, 也不要安撫, 相反要好開心的送她上車, 她不哭時要即讚她「 ...

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benson996

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發表於 09-10-19 17:56 |只看該作者

Where are you? Have not seem your new post for a week.

Are you all right?
Your hidden super fans.

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SandraLo

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發表於 09-10-19 22:32 |只看該作者

原帖由 benson996 於 09-10-19 17:56 發表
Are you all right?
Your hidden super fans.

benson996 :

哈哈, 先多謝你捧場, 同獻出咗你嘅第一次俾我！

我諗你都唔係睇咗我d posts 好耐

...... 因你冇發現.... 其意我好懶的, 冇人問嘢, 我樂得清閒, 唔會無端端up番個topic 上嚟架！

我都借此機會多謝大家, 冇嘢問時真係淨「睇」, 令入嚟想學点教仔嘅, 可以一氣呵成咁睇落去....... 多謝多謝！

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BRENDALAM

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發表於 09-10-20 09:28 |只看該作者

Sandra,

謝謝上次的指教, 現在爸爸罵少了, 他們的感情也好了.

不過有出現一個問題了, 請幫忙應該如何處理. 我有兩個女兒, 大的6yrs, 細的3yrs. 她們經常爭野, 特別是爭取我來抱抱, 我叫她們一手抱一個啦, 但她們堅持要在同一方向來抱, 大的又不讓細的, 有時會全個抱住我, 令妹妹沒有位可以來我身邊, 我都明白她們是爭寵, 我怕只話一個, 另一個會覺得我不要她, 兩個都話又好像破壞大家的關係, 我應該什樣做會比較好呢. 請指教.

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benson996

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發表於 09-10-20 10:55 |只看該作者

I read all the posts in Part I and II

Once I start look at the first post and could not stop until finish ALL :loveliness:

The 讚 method really work VERY VERY well with my two sons. We got a happy family now.

妳是香港德蘭修女 - 用寶貴的時間和精神作出無私的奉獻.

All BK Moms and Dads, if you not start yet please try and it really work very well.

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發表於 09-10-20 22:14 |只看該作者

原帖由 BRENDALAM 於 09-10-20 09:28 發表
Sandra,

謝謝上次的指教, 現在爸爸罵少了, 他們的感情也好了.

不過有出現一個問題了, 請幫忙應該如何處理. 我有兩個女兒, 大的6yrs, 細的3yrs. 她們經常爭野, 特別是爭取我來抱抱, 我叫她們一手抱一個啦, ...

BRENDALAM :

我細個時我老豆的處理方法是：一爭就兩個都冇！
你可以叫他們企到一邊, 再分配左一個右一個, 如咁啱佢地嗰次冇爭或未爭, 就即讚：嘩兩個都好乖喎, 冇爭住要媽咪抱！

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發表於 09-10-20 22:20 |只看該作者

原帖由 benson996 於 09-10-20 10:55 發表
Once I start look at the first post and could not stop until finish ALL :loveliness:

The 讚 method really work VERY VERY well with my two sons. We got a happy family now.

妳是香港德蘭修女 - 用 ...

benson996 :

再一次多謝你捧場......

不過你用錯咗比喻啦

嚇死人......

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發表於 09-10-21 09:03 |只看該作者

原帖由 SandraLo 於 09-10-20 22:14 發表

BRENDALAM :

我細個時我老豆的處理方法是：一爭就兩個都冇！
你可以叫他們企到一邊, 再分配左一個右一個, 如咁啱佢地嗰次冇爭或未爭, 就即讚：嘩兩個都好乖喎, 冇爭住要媽咪抱！ ...

其實我都試過叫她們企到一邊的, 不過大的反抗, 我捉她到一邊, 她又走回我身邊貼住我, 而妹妹不停地哭叫我抱. 最後我要呼喝她們才停下來, 然後才一手抱回一個再解釋不可以爭野的. 不知對不對. 好像已經罵了才可以停止她們.

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發表於 09-10-21 21:54 |只看該作者

原帖由 BRENDALAM 於 09-10-21 09:03 發表

其實我都試過叫她們企到一邊的, 不過大的反抗, 我捉她到一邊, 她又走回我身邊貼住我, 而妹妹不停地哭叫我抱. 最後我要呼喝她們才停下來, 然後才一手抱回一個再解釋不可以爭野的. 不知對不對. 好像已經罵了才可 ...

BRENDALAM :

要堅持的....... 在那一刻她們正在爭, 目標在爭贏, 不會聽你講, 如快嗰個就可以獨佔你, 當然是鬥快啦！你想叫得他們聽, 先要停止一切活動, 站著撓埋雙手, 冇表情也不好說話, 等她們站好/靜止才回應！
更重要當然是要捉緊她們未action 的 timing 來讚啦！

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發表於 09-10-22 09:02 |只看該作者

原帖由 SandraLo 於 09-10-21 21:54 發表

BRENDALAM :

要堅持的....... 在那一刻她們正在爭, 目標在爭贏, 不會聽你講, 如快嗰個就可以獨佔你, 當然是鬥快啦！你想叫得他們聽, 先要停止一切活動, 站著撓埋雙手, 冇表情也不好說話, 等她們站好/靜止才回應！
更 ...

明白, 我會堅持下去的. 謝謝

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劉明

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發表於 09-10-22 20:27 |只看該作者

Hi Sandra,

Since my case is a bit complicated and long. May you check your ps? Tks!

best,yammie

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發表於 09-10-22 23:26 |只看該作者

原帖由劉明於 09-10-22 20:27 發表
Hi Sandra,

Since my case is a bit complicated and long. May you check your ps? Tks!

best,yammie

劉明：

我還是希望在此處答, 一來其他媽咪也可看到, 二來是排隊.

其實我不太明白怎會弄至這個田地……
你和囝囝的關係如何？有bedtime story嗎？多傾計時間嗎？
處理哭鬧的方法有了, 但都不好太難為大家, 每次樣處一樣便夠了, 逐樣嚟.
我常說用讚+ ignore便可矯正壞行為, 但今次他的壞行為是那一樣？如果是扭計、哭鬧, 用讚必定有效……
他那一次的惡夢是關於什麼的, 有和他傾過嗎？他是否仍被那個惡夢影響他？在學校有沒有什麼不開心的事？
你錯的, 顯然是不夠consistent, 他原本返學是ok的, 但他無意中發現喊可以改變你的, 於是善加利用！
首先, 你可以帶他看一看医生, 排除生理上的問題, 然後和他玩多些, 從中看看那惡夢講他是否還有影響, 抑或其實是attention seeking (因弟弟還是bb). 瞓覺和返學我會先處理返學, 因為學校有老師和同學, 他知道哭改變不到你時便不會哭！亦可嘗試由工人帶他返學, 讓他失去扭的對象.

[ 本帖最後由 SandraLo 於 09-10-22 23:27 編輯 ]

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發表於 09-10-23 01:21 |只看該作者

hi Sandra,

Our relationship is very good but you can also say it's because our relationship is too good so he's too attached to me and always wanna have me to accompany him.

Yes, we do have bedtime story but we normally read books instead of making up story by myself. We used to hv few mins talking time before I leave his room and let him sleep by himself. Since he refused to sleep alone after that nightmare, our talking time is much longer than before coz I need to stay there with him until he falls asleep. I usually will use this time to ask why he all of sudden wants mommy to sleep with him and why he cries at school but he never tells me why he wanna sleep with me. I hv no clue if the nightmare is still bothering him or not.... Wl try to talk to him and see if he will be willing to tell me about it or not. H/e, he did tell me the reason why he cries at school is because someone pushed him. I reported this to his teacher the nx day and teacher told me she has tackled this issue and he has release his anger already and he could even make friend with the one who pushed him. You're right, the teacher also believed why he cried so serious that day was totally because I changed the routine. I should be more consistent....

Since we should tackle issues by issues and going to school should be tackled first. I'll try to hv the helper to bring him to school but I'll go with him coz I read some articles that the toddler hates to go to school is because he wanna stay home with mommy. Some extremely case is the toddler thinks mommy purposely send him out to school so mommy can stay home with the younger baby only. It ended up the toddler hates the school more and also hates the younger baby. So, I guess I'll leave home with him together but I'll tell him I need to take a bus to buy him cookies. Do you think this will help? Or I should request the school to let me or helper to join in the class and restart the separation once again? I'm afraid if I push him to go to school by himself, it will make him more crazy...

Oh... a little question about how to use ignore, I'm wondering if I used it wrongly or what....?! When I let him cry for 2 hrs in his room and then let him out. Should I actually just let him out without saying anything? After I let him out from his room, he stopped crying right away and just started playing in the living room. I played with him seemed nothing happened. Should I actually remind him he should sleep by himself and shouldn't cry like this? After using ignore, should we talk about the issue right at spot or only at the bedtime story? Still not very understand how can I use the ignore method properly.

Sorry for so many ?s...

best,yammie

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發表於 09-10-23 13:40 |只看該作者

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SandraLo

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發表於 09-10-24 23:31 |只看該作者

原帖由劉明於 09-10-23 01:21 發表
hi Sandra,

Our relationship is very good but you can also say it's because our relationship is too good so he's too attached to me and always wanna have me to accompany him.

Yes, we do have bedtime ...

劉明：

“So, I guess I'll leave home with him together but I'll tell him I need to take a bus to buy him cookies” ~~ 你可避免帶佢返學, 但要預咗同佢分開嗰陣佢已開始喊,你會點處理？
睇完你所講嘅, 佢似attention seeking多d, 應該用「正面」d嘅方法, 有乜如實講, 例如話佢知返學係要自己的, 個個小朋友都係咁, 講一兩次就夠, 分開嗰陣就唔好俾個担心又傷心嘅樣佢, 要開心咁同佢bye bye.
至於話陪入班房更加係大倒退, 咁做倒不如3歲先俾佢返K1, 我女都係咁！

我猜你的ignore是用錯了, 因你將他isolate在房, 不淮他出來？
行為矯正法係用「讚」嚟話俾小朋友聽乜嘢係好行為, 從而改善/減少唔好嘅行為, 當小朋友用喊/發脾氣呢d 方法嚟要求一樣嘢峙, 我地必先用ignore, 表示唔會因佢喊/發脾氣而俾佢想要嘅嘢佢, 因一方面讚佢冇扭, 另一方面扭嗰陣又扭到係完全冇意思；但ignore係 ignore bad behaviour(即哭鬧), 而唔係ignore個小朋友, 即係話佢扭你唔理佢扭就夠, 但就唔係嬲佢或者唔啋佢, 佢幾時收聲同你講嘢, 你都可以應佢！
瞓覺呢樣唔好搞住, 因樣樣都要撑「行」屋企氣氛唔夠好就連讚都冇咁開心, 小朋友要夠瞓都好緊要, 建議你晚上照陪他, 下午就隨得你！

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發表於 09-10-24 23:34 |只看該作者

原帖由 GraciousC9 於 09-10-23 13:40 發表
DEAR SANDRA LO,

您好, 我是跟你報喜的, 小兒已經轉校了, 返學第一天已經說很開心上學. 現在他開始有所改善, 精靈"反", 沒有再叫極都唔聽...

我會再用的教的方法去做, 希望做到家中沒有吵罵聲, 只有歡笑聲.
不明白 ...

GraciousC9 :

恭喜哂.....