國家地區媽媽會 今日: 0 | 主題: 20263

積分: 72

21^#

發表於 07-4-21 04:00 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

carrie210,
she's so cute.
Where do you live in US?

Carol

[img align=left]http://www.shutterfly.com/view/picture_dt.jsp?state=67b0de21b6f21ef2b435&idx=19[/img]

私人傳訊

積分: 781

22^#

發表於 07-4-21 05:51 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

carolcharcoal,

I think my husband is ok for one kid now. He may want two kids but he's ok for one. He now knows that how much work (love, time, effort, worry) and money is needed to raise a kid (he thought it's an easy job before we have a kid).

I think I am not obigate to give my son any sibling. Maybe if he has a little brother or sister, he may ask me when he grow up - WHY he need to have any sibling. To me, I don't think having another kid is for my first kid. If I want to have another kid, it's for me and my husband who want to raise another kid. Not trying to get a "playmate" for the first child. If that's the major reason for having the second kid, I think that's not fair for the second child.

Also, a child can have a better relationship with his/her friends (from school or other social events) than with his/her siblings. Like I would like to talk and play with my friends (classmates) than playing with my brother when I was growing up. So, having a sibling just because one may get "very lonely" may not always applied (at least not for me).

To me, the first kid being "lonely" is not a major reason for me to have a second kid.

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積分: 72

23^#

發表於 07-4-21 06:41 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

bunnymonkey,
you are right. I don't want to be unfair for the second kid. Of course, we love all kids that we have.
I want to have second kid because I really want to.
Not because of my son. But I'm still thinking he has someone to play with at least in the same family that will be better.

[img align=left]http://www.shutterfly.com/view/picture_dt.jsp?state=67b0de21b6f21ef2b435&idx=19[/img]

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muimui313

積分: 8831

24^#

發表於 07-4-21 07:10 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

Carolcharcol,

我同你處景相同但諗法同你剛剛相反﹐ 無家人係呢邊﹐ 我老公好想再要﹐ 但我就想俾歷仔最好既﹐ 所以我唔想再追﹐ 另外﹐我亦想歷仔再大的時﹐係工作上再拼搏過﹐或者再返學。唔係話亞仔係負累﹐而係當所有同事都可以OT時﹐而我又要趕接仔﹐真係唔可以好似以前咁FLEXIBLE。我自己有六兄弟姊妹﹐仲同爺麻﹐姑同住﹐好開心好熱鬧﹐其實我好懷念人多既日子﹐但因為而家無支援﹐又供樓﹐所以真係唔想再追。係夏老威PUBLIC SCHOOL既程度真係差到嚇死你﹐所以前時歷仔都要讀PRIVATE SCHOOL--果度又係一筆。開支方面﹐我出哂歷仔既開支﹐老公雖然負責大部份家庭開支﹐佢搵得多過我﹐但又唔益我﹐收埋自己盤數﹐連TAX RETURN我都無份分返﹐因為佢開支大喎。所以我真係月月清架﹐有時唔夠時﹐要開口問佢先至幫手咋。所以我唔會再俾佢搵笨。

NIC977好明白你既處境呀﹐ 同我地女人比﹐ 啲男人已經好有PERSONAL TIME。我老公雖然有兩份工﹐ 佢放工有時去同朋友飲野﹐ 好老憑架。但我放工就揍仔﹐要OT時就要問佢就時間﹐仲話我MESS UP 佢個SCHEDULE。佢OT或飲野時﹐就唔駛問我﹐ 好似我無SCHEDULE 咁。

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積分: 781

25^#

發表於 07-4-21 07:24 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

carolcharcoal,

If you really want to have a second kid, then you need to communicate with your husband or see if there's anything that you can persuade him so you both would agree to have the second one. Are you working now? If you have another kid, would you stay home and take care of them for the first couple years?

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積分: 72

26^#

發表於 07-4-21 09:34 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

muimui313,
we are on the same boat.
My husband has his personal time as much as I do. He went out with his co-worker or friends whenever he wants. I stay home all the time with my son. If I say something, he would say I can go if I want to. Even I go out with someone, I do miss my son and call home and make sure my son is okay. If he go out, he rarely call home and really enjoy whatever he is doing and doesn't miss us and think about what we are doing at home. Maybe that is what mother does all the time.

[img align=left]http://www.shutterfly.com/view/picture_dt.jsp?state=67b0de21b6f21ef2b435&idx=19[/img]

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積分: 72

27^#

發表於 07-4-21 09:38 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

bunnymonkey,
I'm working full time and pick up my son from the daycare after work.
When we get home, I'm rushing to cook and take him for bathing.
It make me very tired.
I hope If I can stay home and be a housewife.
But we can't coz' I make more than my husband.
That's a big finance problem. huh... :-(

[img align=left]http://www.shutterfly.com/view/picture_dt.jsp?state=67b0de21b6f21ef2b435&idx=19[/img]

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muimui313

積分: 8831

28^#

發表於 07-4-21 14:48 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

carolcharcol,

其實我好鍾意返夜OT﹐ 留佢地兩仔爺溝通下﹐ 但係我老公只會自己睇電視﹐ 每次我返到屋企﹐亞仔都無食正餐﹐只食零食﹐同無沖涼就訓覺。所以而家我都唔想夜晚OT或去街。老公唔係唔錫我地﹐ 但我覺得男人對照顧屋企方面﹐真係掙少少。

我每日都要DROP OFF同PICK UP 亞仔。因為住處同返工地方相隔好遠﹐ 而且夏老威交通又差﹐ 我要5:45帶亞仔出門口﹐ 準時6:30 DROP OFF 亞仔﹐ 放工又要好準時4:00出發﹐ 4:30前要接返亞仔﹐返到屋企都5:00幾﹐ 足足12 個鐘架。返到去只係煮啲好簡單既野俾歷仔食﹐CREAM OF MUSHROOM通心粉﹐ 通心粉紅汁加CHEESE﹐VEGGIE BURGER﹐VEGGIE HOTDOG﹐ 茄子豆腐飯﹐--好似茶餐廳啲碟頭飯咁架咋。好彩亞仔好多時咩都食﹐ 食唔哂我就帶返工當晏晝--成日食亞仔口水尾。

姊妹們﹐ 大家努力﹐ 我地要互相勉勵呀。

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積分: 781

29^#

發表於 07-4-21 15:53 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

carolcharcoal,

gum ng duk bor... you both work and you also need to cook and pick up and bath your son. What other things does your husband do at home? He washes the dishes?

If you go out, you may need to relax and put other stuffs aside. (not like if you go out to have a relax day but all you think of is your kid...and keep calling home... then lost the purpose of going out/relax). But then it's hard to change because it's individual's personalities etc. I think you need to relax a bit and have a bit "let go" mentality. Find some time/day for you to go out and relax and let your husband stay home with your son for their own bounding.

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babesiu

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30^#

發表於 07-4-21 22:27 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

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Nillie_Mami

積分: 7794

31^#

發表於 07-4-21 23:01 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

Carol,
我唔駛讀架.. 因為我係喺香港同澳洲有牌架.. 當年, 我係melbourne La Trobe University第一個overseas student 喺 LTU Faculty of Health Science 畢業呢. 香港--我有EN牌, 澳洲-- 我有Div 1牌, so 我喺new york 同 CA只係去 CGFNS 做 license vertification. then send application 去 Broad of Nursing (Ca and NY).. about 9 months, 就攞到考試資格去pearson 喥考試, 一個 multiple choice + fill in the blank +math 嘅電腦試就ok喇..
babesiu,
你係咪0701媽咪?? 好似之前見過你呢!
住海外個海外媽咪, 向來有苦自己知..

我住New york, so 好易請到新移民做baby sitter, 我而家都係請個廣洲新移民嚟new york 嘅姨姨, take care Gabriel 同 manage 小小家務.. as 我返夜, 老公返 shift (冇定日夜), it is illegal to leave Amanda & Gabriel at home呢..

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Carrie210

大宅

積分: 3787

醒目開學勳章

32^#

發表於 07-4-21 23:27 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

carol
我係住newｙｏｒｋ　manhattan 呀．．

Nat Nat World 叻叻小天地

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Carrie210

大宅

積分: 3787

醒目開學勳章

33^#

發表於 07-4-21 23:37 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

carol
你睇下我地呢度幾多ｍａｍｉ都好似你咁樣架．　所以有時都唔煩得咁多．　老公湊ｂｂ．．真係唔多放心呀．．次次我都要再整多次架．．唔好講湊仔，　做屋企野都係咁架．．都唔知佢地係唔係特登做得唔好既．．．哈哈．．

ｎｅｌｌｉｅ
講真．．請個工人．．係ｎｙ．．有幾多個請得起呀．．１２００ｗｏｒ．．都唔知幾多人出黎做野．．成個月都係得１２００咋．．

ｂａｂｅｓｉｕ
係架．．ｈｋ工人係好平架．．但又麻煩驚請個唔好既．．同埋讀書都係海外既好ｄ既．．．但做父母就要付出佢地既私人時間啦．．

Nat Nat World 叻叻小天地

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Nillie_Mami

積分: 7794

34^#

發表於 07-4-22 01:17 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

carrie,
儍豬.. 所以叫你要打老番工, benefit好!
我叫你去讀護士, 因為我同greentree 咁大個back up 可以幫你揾info, material做功課温書, 我嘅text book 又齊..
做RN 喺NY .. 起薪at least $28, depends on 你仲有乜嘢cert 喺手, relate 唔relate to 你個field, 仲有benefit 呢..
as我 fight 到 $33/hr, +evening& night diff, + in-charge pay, 有 almost $40/hr.. 咁你話, 自已stay home做 full time stay home mom 好 or 打工好? only work 13 days a month, 係 full time.. 有所有benefit, if 叻叻有2歲, 可以入day care, 咁請個nanny 做家務, weekend 睇住叻叻, 其實更合化算呢..
但千其唔好學我, salary Direct deposit 入老公bank account (as 我冇自已户口), 咪你就渣都冇.. 我一毫子私自錢都冇.. 好在我爸爸對我3兄妹好fair, 爸爸賣樓, 都有分一份俾我呢個外嫁女, so 我香港有小小錢係under 我自已個名. 因為我爸爸話天下烏鴉一樣黑, 我唔識自已keep 數, 我爸爸就年年將利是, 生日嘅錢入入去HSBC, 幫我儲錢.. 怕就怕個"萬一", 我同2個仔女唔會一無所有..
男人好自私, 佢揾得多過你時, 就怕你打斧頭, 用一亳子都要問過佢. 到佢揾得少過你時, 就更要你1毫子私自錢都冇, 懶正義"lum"言, 話個家係大家嘅, 而家個個family 都係2公婆做工, 大家應該攞哂salary 返嚟做家用..
肥bear老公唔算過份, 亦唔係最好.. 佢富貴時, 我有同佢一齊富貴, 到而家富貴不再時(as his business bankrup), 我只希望佢知道, 我唔止可以同佢共富貴, 我唔介意做bread maker養起頭家, 但只希望佢承担返"家"嘅部份責任.. 唔好只係指我去做呢樣嗰樣, 話冇personal time.. 又話我唔陪佢.

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Carrie210

大宅

積分: 3787

醒目開學勳章

35^#

發表於 07-4-22 03:32 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

Nellie
更係想好似你咁好人工啦, 但係讀rn都唔係咁易, 好似greentea同你都一早有好既education background,都會好d. 我諗我唔可以一入就入到讀, 要讀番其他野先, 都唔係一時三刻攪得店, 因我而家都冇人幫我湊bb, 我老公成日話比99湊, 我話你講呀.你叫佢唔好理大嫂果家人呀, 佢話係放叻叻去99度住, 更係唔得啦...果邊幾個細路, 得99一個睇住, 仲要cook埋比佢地食, 仲要我大嫂爸爸媽媽都係埋度住, 又唔識做野(因太老,而家仲冇記性天,講左d野又話冇講, 做左d野又話冇做), 仲要服士埋佢地, 我仲點敢放叻叻係果度, 我知99唔開心話我唔比叻叻佢湊..我都同62講佢咁既situation,係冇可能啦..我大嫂都唔好意思, 都成日話幫我買呢樣果樣, 佢兩公婆都好需要99幫, 唔通我同佢地爭咩. 而家我只有呢, 等叻叻讀到daycare時, 睇下可唔可以搵番時間出黎讀書咯, 但我都好驚我讀唔黎架. greentea都話好辛苦呀.冇晒時間對屋企人. 好在佢有人幫咋.
不過我係好同意要有私幾錢既. 因我未嫁時,已有好多朋友咁講啦, 我都好相信, 而家佢對你好jet, 唔知第時會點, 好難講既. 都係仔女同錢仲要d..老公....嘿嘿..我都有同老公講我有私幾錢架, 我係唔會拎出黎既...佢都明白..佢冇要我洗我自己錢, 但有時, 我知唔多夠錢時..唉..都要拎少少出黎洗啦..哈哈...
你都好呀..有富貴過......我同我老公好似都冇富貴過..真係唔知第二時中左lotto會唔會對我咁好呀..哈哈..

Nat Nat World 叻叻小天地

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muimui313

積分: 8831

36^#

發表於 07-4-22 07:06 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

NILLIE, CARRIE210,
我真係儲唔到私己錢呀。除左歷仔所有開支外﹐我有份保險係香港﹐个要供多三年先至拎得返啲錢出黎﹐仲要還香港既STUDENT LOAN﹐其實係我媽咪幫我俾緊呢啲錢。我手頭鬆時會寄200俾媽咪﹐但手頭緊時﹐就無寄。好似五月咁﹐有五個星期﹐咁我就要俾多一個星朞DAYCARE $$﹐果個月就要慳啲。有時覺得自已好無用同不孝﹐養唔到父母不特止﹐仲用緊外家錢。係香港時每月都俾到港紙8千蚊家用﹐係IOWA 半工讀時每月都俾US$500。而家要屋企倒貼。佢地仲成日寄野俾歷仔﹐我成日好唔安樂架。要等三年後﹐到時保險啲錢會俾哂媽咪當補償。

我老公同奶奶有好多物業﹐老爺留底啲錢由奶奶管。老公要錢就同奶奶申請。有建設性既就批。佢地好慳﹐一買左就唔會賣﹐ 所以流動資金少﹐一啲都益唔到我﹐老公仲成日搵我笨﹐例如叫我出街食晏﹐最後要我出大半。我一啲都唔知佢財政狀況。佢有時黐起條根時都會買奢侈品俾我﹐但我寧願要現金﹐自己可以買野或儲起。不過我知佢唔會。表面上﹐啲同事以為我環境好:供緊間屋﹐有APRARTMENT收租﹐有兩架車。。。其實有苦自己知 :-( 。

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babesiu

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積分: 11847

37^#

發表於 07-4-22 12:59 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

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babesiu

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積分: 11847

38^#

發表於 07-4-22 13:07 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

私人傳訊

積分: 781

39^#

發表於 07-4-22 16:14 |只看該作者

Re: Anyone want to have a second baby?

babesiu,

hai ah, I think 香港ｄ媽咪好似幸福ｄ because 幾千蚊請個full time maid and you don't need to do any housework.

Nillie_mami,

wah, why salary direct deposit 入老公bank account? Why don't you open your own account? I have my own account and keep my own money too. I don't feel secure if I don't have 私已錢 gar! I guess if I am not independent on my finance, I may have less "saying" in the house! Sometimes my husband doe complain why I don't 拎私已錢出黎 etc... Before when we both working, I would use my salary to buy food and stuffs for the family. But now I am unemployed, I don't want to use up all my saving on the family expenses! I don't get paid for taking care of the baby in the house. If we find a babysitter/daycare, there's over $1000/month la. I have my opportunity cost too. I said he should pay me back instead! So right now, I am offically using his credit card to buy baby's stuffs etc. Anyway, my principle is use his money first, if there's really emergency situation occurs and need my "help"... then I will help out. :)

muimui313,

You better don't let your husband 搵你笨 bor. 出街食晏,要你出大半? How come? Next time ng 出 lah.. if you need to pay 大半? Or because your husband doesn't have enough 流動資金 (cash) to use? Can you find a way to have your husband pay more for 歷仔 etc so you may save more money yourself. Just in case mah.

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