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樓主: spidermanhk

外母大人我錯了 [複製鏈接]

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spidermanhk

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41^#

發表於 10-3-22 02:14 |只看該作者

今已在樓下企足一晚, 外母只電話說了一句法庭見。

原帖由 miffymiffy 於 10-3-21 22:22 發表

我覺得樓主應該現在呢一刻就去你外母/太太處門口跪通頂.

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spidermanhk

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42^#

發表於 10-3-22 02:26 |只看該作者

今已在樓下企足一晚, 外母只電話拋下一句法庭見。

花只能放於更亭,生日咕只能放於信箱,禮物只有帶回。

老婆上次走了半年,今次三個月,現已法庭排期。
現身心俱疲。

原帖由 fungwongphie 於 10-3-22 00:01 發表
Mr. spidermanhk,

I hope you just don't only type what you want but to express this in words and action!!!!!!!!!! I just wonder how much do you care about your wife........you don't even have her emai ...

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ndw

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發表於 10-3-22 03:53 |只看該作者

親手做的生日禮物，用速遞，或郵遞服務寄給老婆大人啦。我都要叫一聲

大人咯。真是，你外母都要叫一聲，簾後聽家政的

太後大人喔。

我老公在我們經濟最貧困時都偷偷買過一個二灘貨。一六尺長的北極熊毛毛公仔送給我做生日禮物。由於久了，又被擺在車房鋪了幾年的塵，白色熊已變成灰色熊。老公也願意做很多功夫，騙了我先到表姐家住幾天，他日夜打兩份工，晚上不睡眠，逐步把毛毛熊整理干淨。首先，在毛毛熊的 butt 上拆線，開個出口，把所有內餡到出來。就內餡都要7個箱裝住。內餡輕飄，紛飛四散，事後清功夫也大把。

之後，把毛毛熊放進洗衣機洗到白白淨淨。用干衣機在打干水分。結果，倒不出的內餡又紛飛四散，事後清功夫又大把。

然後又要把所有內餡放回去毛毛熊。老公從來沒有做過針線功夫。這下，他把自己的庫子也縫進毛毛熊的 Butt 裡去了。

然而，我老公想著是在他早出晚歸的日子裡，有六尺長大的北極熊毛毛公仔陪伴我，他什麼苦都甘心去熬。

我講這故事是要讓你老婆知道，你親手做的禮物無論從心意，身意，精神放面都是出於愛和犧牲了許多。我從我的經驗了完全感受到。也很感動。

我相信你對你老婆的愛也是如我老公對我的愛。希望你老婆不會被人生疏擺, 會珍惜這份愛。

歌林多前書 13
4 愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈；愛是不嫉妒；愛是不自誇，不張狂，

5 不做害羞的事，不求自己的益處，不輕易發怒，不計算人的惡，

6 不喜歡不義，只喜歡真理；

7 凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。

8 愛是永不止息。

[ 本帖最後由 ndw 於 10-3-22 04:01 編輯 ]

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alik

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發表於 10-3-22 09:25 |只看該作者

看了樓主的文章, 只覺得佢思想同行為都幼稚, 尤其是從聯名戶口抽走d錢那個動作. 唔係安唔安全感問題, 點解要好似細路仔咁嗌交打交輸咗要報復呢?

仲有, 都過咗幾個月, 你而家先識後悔, 你有心追番個老婆返來, 應該在老婆走咗無耐時做啦.

40歲人喇, 成熟d啦唔該!!

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cy101

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2025勳章蛇年勳章 2024年龍年勳章牛年勳章 2018復活節勳章育兒性格勳章好媽媽勳章醒目開學勳章畀面勳章環保接龍勳章大廚勳章 BK Milk勳章 15週年勳章親子王國15週年勳章

45^#

發表於 10-3-22 10:06 |只看該作者

原帖由 alik 於 10-3-22 09:25 發表
看了樓主的文章, 只覺得佢思想同行為都幼稚, 尤其是從聯名戶口抽走d錢那個動作. 唔係安唔安全感問題, 點解要好似細路仔咁嗌交打交輸咗要報復呢?

仲有, 都過咗幾個月, 你而家先識後悔, 你有心追番個老婆返來, 應該 ...

睇漏咗呢個poinT, 嘩, 樓主你攪咩呀, 換咗我係你老婆, 真係火上加油, 冷戰中, 你老婆無做野, 經濟上係你負擔, 但你竟然攞走D錢, 即係要個老婆屈服於你咁話LA, 即係睇死佢要低頭揾番你LA, 俾著我係外母大人, 我點都撐硬個囡la!!

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miffymiffy

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好媽媽勳章醒目開學勳章畀面勳章環保接龍勳章親子達人勳章 BK Milk勳章

46^#

發表於 10-3-22 10:08 |只看該作者

原帖由 spidermanhk 於 10-3-22 02:26 發表
今已在樓下企足一晚, 外母只電話拋下一句法庭見。
花只能放於更亭,生日咕只能放於信箱,禮物只有帶回。

老婆上次走了半年,今次三個月,現已法庭排期。
現身心俱疲。

..

上次太太已經走了半年? 我唸樓主你都犯得幾嚴重錯誤. 係咪有D 事情你上次應承左, 之後一直唔對現?

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gigivinda

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發表於 10-3-22 10:12 |只看該作者

原帖由 spidermanhk 於 10-3-18 23:43 發表
我有朝這方向去做,但我連跟他們對話的机會也沒有。
我的擔子不輕,若每天在外母家樓下等她認錯,那我就完蛋了。或很快變得很犀利,變成犀利哥
...

I can't see your sincerity here:

1. Your job is more important than your marriage. Now your marriage is at crisis, not your job. But you still treasure the time for your job more, not your marriage. You should deal with your marriage first, which is more urgent than your job, or you'll loose your marriage, not your job. You can find another job, but not the same family any more. Yet, you may not loose your job even you take some time off for your marriage. Which is your priority and which you can't loose, you are the only one to value.

2. You still can't take off your dignity to show your sincerity to your wife and mother-in-law. ACTION, continuous and repeated action !! cos you have already declared the message of "divorce" to them by actual "action" of withdrawing the money. Now where is your "ACTION" to show your regret of declaration of divorce? Your action of withdrawing money speaks louder than people just saying the word divorce because you have already "acted". Things become "real" by action, while things are only "intention" if by words. Do you understand the seriousness of your action. So you need action to correct your action.

Good luck!

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juliet

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發表於 10-3-22 11:23 |只看該作者

原帖由 spidermanhk 於 2010/3/20 14:11 發表
Juilet: 我現已自責透了。

雖然係咁!但我好同情你,希望你今次的真誠可打動你老婆,令佢原諒你啦!我支持你

[ 本帖最後由 juliet 於 10-3-22 00:25 編輯 ]

親子王國已刪除閣下簽名檔內容,煩請自行檢視,頭像,頭銜,暱稱,如帶有廣告或宣傳推介成份,應立即修改或刪除,否則可被封鎖戶口,謝謝合作.

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cathy29

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發表於 10-3-22 12:40 |只看該作者

i just gone through all messages, I just wonder your wife has already gone for twice and the previous got 6months? what was the matter for last time?

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amchk

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畀面勳章

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發表於 10-3-22 12:58 |只看該作者

係啦, 原來仲有前科. 樓主, 你攪咩科呀?
不過, 出走6個月, 我諗我做唔出.

原帖由 cathy29 於 10-3-22 12:40 發表
i just gone through all messages, I just wonder your wife has already gone for twice and the previous got 6months? what was the matter for last time?

東方曼哈頓 : Iherb 用戶首次優惠 5 美元 code GQF455

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spidermanhk

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51^#

發表於 10-3-22 21:04 |只看該作者

我之前犯過錯,不想提,我之沒再犯,多謝老婆亦不再提。

多谢ndw的窩心分享,金句很受用。

只恨當初愛得不夠。願以所有換回老婆和B女。但哀莫大於心死。我實在想不了怎做。

原帖由 amchk 於 10-3-22 12:58 發表
係啦, 原來仲有前科. 樓主, 你攪咩科呀?
不過, 出走6個月, 我諗我做唔出.

[ 本帖最後由 spidermanhk 於 10-3-22 21:42 編輯 ]

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spidermanhk

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積分: 134

52^#

發表於 10-3-22 22:27 |只看該作者

Gigivinda,
My emotion is now affecting my performance in work. By job nature, I need to sit still to think most of the time. However, images of my wife & BB get into my mind when I start to think.

Knowing that a colleague just returned from trip with his wife, I blamed myself why I didn't put into action to bring my wife to Australia for holiday. I owed my wife a honey moon trip since we married.

In lunch breaks, I'm almost irreponsive to others' conversation.

如外母說,老婆性格看似強,但其實很溫纯,她中學曾為迷路而哭了,生BB前後我見她很專心去搜集照顧BB的方法。偏偏生活上我與她鬥氣:;pppp:,與她爭被。我為何不呵她,讓她呢?她生BB後,我為何沒有送上鮮花以表示關心呢?我深覺以往愛得不夠。

原帖由 gigivinda 於 10-3-22 10:12 發表

I can't see your sincerity here:

1. Your job is more important than your marriage. Now your marriage is at crisis, not your job. But you still treasure the time for your job more, not your marri ...

[ 本帖最後由 spidermanhk 於 10-3-22 23:01 編輯 ]

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amchk

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53^#

發表於 10-3-22 23:11 |只看該作者

至今你能做既, 就係繼續努力啦, 用行動打動老婆.

你話你老婆有上開BK, 咁我都希望你老婆可以睇到你既post. 如果你老婆睇到, 我都希望你老婆可以深思熟慮, 係米真係要行到離婚這一步.... 仲有你地女兒既將來.

原帖由 spidermanhk 於 10-3-22 21:04 發表
我之前犯過錯,不想提,我之沒再犯,多謝老婆亦不再提。

多谢ndw的窩心分享,金句很受用。

只恨當初愛得不夠。願以所有換回老婆和B女。但哀莫大於心死。我實在想不了怎做。

...

東方曼哈頓 : Iherb 用戶首次優惠 5 美元 code GQF455

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aaroncheung

別墅

積分: 525

好媽媽勳章

54^#

發表於 10-3-23 13:46 |只看該作者

唔係想潑你冷水, 但我真係覺得你爭唔落, 失去咗先知重要, 你更後悔都無補於事. 你响度講得幾動人, 幾想佢哋返黎都冇用. 你可以令一個你講到咁愛o既女人走兩次, 你問心你真係好愛佢咩, 真係愛, 你就唔會捨得一而再, 再而三咁去傷害一個你愛o既人啦, 唔關硬唔硬頸事, 只要你真係愛一個人, 你就唔捨得佢受傷, 但偏偏傷害佢果個係你, 你覺得自己真係值得原諒咩?
如果你老婆真係想分開冷靜下, 而你又發覺自己依一刻好愛好愛佢o既, 你就放手啦, 愛唔一定要佔有, 何必要迫佢返返一個計時炸爆身邊呢. 請你記住, 你老婆今時今日所做o既一切都係你一手造成, 你唔好再怨天尤人喇. 佢點解唔原諒你, 你自己好清楚, 唔需要同我哋解釋.

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spidermanhk

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積分: 134

55^#

發表於 10-3-23 21:19 |只看該作者

amchk, ndw, fungwongphie及 abercromie,
多謝你們的分析及鼓勵。

有感而發,有誰在怒火之中不是覺得自己是對的呢? 自認為是對的,又是否真的道理所在呢,道理所在,又是否需要得處不饒人呢? 兩人持不同意見,若存心只想自己的是,對方的不是,現在的我覺得這並沒有出路,只會令事情陷入萬劫不復的地步。我認為事情誰是誰非不重要,無論道理歸那一方,如結果是失掉了家,我認為萬萬不值。

聽見不同聲音,更覺好言一句三冬暖。共勉之。

amck"一段婚姻, 一個人生, 其實當中必定有好多好多辛酸既事發生, 點解大家唔去努力, 而係去折磨對方?"
amchk"為左啖氣, 幾家都係輸家. 苦了下一代."
ndw's quote "愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈；愛是不嫉妒；愛是不自誇，不張狂 ."
ndw's quote "不做害羞的事，不求自己的益處，不輕易發怒，不計算人的惡 ."
ndw's quote "凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。"

原帖由 amchk 於 10-3-22 23:11 發表
至今你能做既, 就係繼續努力啦, 用行動打動老婆.

你話你老婆有上開BK, 咁我都希望你老婆可以睇到你既post. 如果你老婆睇到, 我都希望你老婆可以深思熟慮, 係米真係要行到離婚這一步.... 仲有你地女兒既將來.

...

[ 本帖最後由 spidermanhk 於 10-3-23 21:57 編輯 ]

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yamaneko

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發表於 10-3-23 22:06 |只看該作者

Funny Thing

Did my eyes fool me or I really can't find the word, "I'm sorry and I will change...."

When I teach my b to say sorry, I need her to tell me what she did wrong, how it was wrong, how she could repair it and what she learned from this event.

By no mean I want to get into your personal life, I care less about your flight and how you hurt a full time Mom. But this post is meant for your wife, not for public show. Please put some heart in here.

If I were this unforturnately FTM, I wouldn't understand what this post is about. "sorry?!?! then what?!?!" If I had walkout twice, and the last time was 6 months, I would not care what kind of hell you live in right now. BECAUSE I just walked out of it, AGAIN. I might dream about your little regret, but that's because you miss my company. I would even doubt whether you know what you did. Yes, that withdraw was bad, hell bloody bad. Yes, your absent was bad, but many women can live with that, no help from husband / father but no harm done. But there must be more. (Again, not because I'm watching like a soap-opera. I don't want to know about it. Do a personal email to your wife!)

Please, if you want anyone to forgive you, at least you have to tell what to be forgiven. Yes, you are a grown-up man, and half of your life belongs to your career. But no one told you to quit job to stand by your wife's door. No one care if you cry your lung out. (Or do you really know what piss your wife so really badly?)

Identify the trouble, share your feeling, seek for solution and then say "sorry".
Do something that can actually benefit your wife. ACT, wisely.

Personally I would not forgive, if I can't see the solution. If you don't solve your problem, there is nothing for your wife to forgive.

[ 本帖最後由 yamaneko 於 10-3-23 22:26 編輯 ]

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aaroncheung

別墅

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57^#

發表於 10-3-24 09:38 |只看該作者

只接受讚賞及鼓勵, 不接納批評, 這是人性的自然反應, 我明白.
為免令你再要面對自己的不是, 這次是我在你的post最後留言, 那你就不用怕萬一你老婆睇到而佢又認同, 會更加唔原諒你啦.
早知今日, 何必當初呢. 施主, 回頭是岸也.

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Fongyee

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發表於 10-3-24 12:10 |只看該作者

原帖由 yamaneko 於 10-3-23 22:06 發表
Did my eyes fool me or I really can't find the word, "I'm sorry and I will change...."

When I teach my b to say sorry, I need her to tell me what she did wrong, how it was wrong, how she could repair ...

我好同意yamaneko的講法，我完全看不到樓主有誠意向太太道歉，一句"對不起"也没有，我看到的是樓主事事只為自己，而且借口多多，什麼生長在暴力家庭、工作很忙、花了很多努力才取得學位，等等的事情，你告訴我們就好像做show一樣，你說這些事情跟本和你太太的出走無關，亦無幫助。問心一句，我一點也不同情你。

要造就一段美好的婚姻其中一個重點是要放下自己，以對方的角度出發看事物，想想她的需要。

如果你真心希望你太太回來，花多點時間反省及改變自己，還有想想如何可以直接對太太說聲"對不起"，不是花時間在這裡扮可憐和show off。

祝你好運！

[ 本帖最後由 Fongyee 於 10-3-24 12:12 編輯 ]

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火石

禁止訪問

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發表於 10-3-24 13:10 |只看該作者

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

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spidermanhk

複式洋房

積分: 134

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發表於 10-3-24 23:41 |只看該作者

Yamaneko, Thank you very much for feedback.

Not until these two days did I realize that my stupid act draws that many rigorous reactions. I should thank all the mothers who dropped in this forum. Without their feedbacks, no matter they are in support or against me, I will never know the the views of others from the perspective of women. Since I was wrong in the first place, I am not prepared to defend for myself.

I did say sorry to my wife in person. It is understandable that she did not forgive me then, since I had been offensive to her mother. On her birthday, I told her I had put my thought into writing in this forum, though I have no idea if she would come to look at it.

I tried to convey message of my proposed changes to her via her brother:

I will deposit good amount of money into common a/c regularly, never draw out again;
I will spend a trip to Australia with her in May;
I will put her name as the beneficiary of my insurance (I should have done it earlier);
I will keep diary of activities with her and BB, so that I will know it if I did not have enough quality time with them;
I will never play stupid jokes;
I will speak out, instead of being silent if I do not agree with her.
I will spend more time in participating her family activities.

I have no idea if my proposed changes address the problem. I know nothing after the proposal, other than that her brother was blamed for conveying the message for me.

原帖由 yamaneko 於 10-3-23 22:06 發表
Did my eyes fool me or I really can't find the word, "I'm sorry and I will change...."

When I teach my b to say sorry, I need her to tell me what she did wrong, how it was wrong, how she could repair ...

[ 本帖最後由 spidermanhk 於 10-3-24 23:43 編輯 ]