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ringoivy


翡翠宮

積分: 76971


41#
發表於 05-11-2 15:41 |只看該作者

Re: help!

哎吔你咁樣就唔啱啦, 你咁講真係好hurt佢的, 你同佢一齊都知佢有幾多斤兩, 你咁講野法即係好似話你家陣無本事就要聽我支笛咁有咩分別, 怪唔之得佢咁易墮入愛河啦, 不過好彩你地都無小朋友, 即使個結局如何都係你地自己一個人去面對, 唔使有咩負慮先, 其實都好簡單你只須要問下自己若果同番佢一齊時你有無咁既能耐去接受同以後唔再講呢d說話 (即係話邊d野係我既, 邊d野係佢既), 若果你可以保証到咪即管比個sms佢認衰女囉, 我相信你話得佢在macau時喊過即係可能都未想放棄呢段感情住, 但礙於男人心態又唔可以向你盡訴心中情, 明白挽留可能自己好辛苦, 但唔挽留又好似唔係好捨得, 咁你襯家陣空檔期想清楚自己想要d咩同可以保証到d咩先啦, 不過打鐵趁熱, 否則到佢冷卻左就真係於事無補了 :cry:
私人傳訊

艾美


洋房

積分: 278


42#
發表於 05-11-2 16:15 |只看該作者

Re: help!

我人工不多不過多過老公. 屋企所有使用費都是我支出. 佢無錢都要我支援. 佢從來不覺自碑. 唯一不同佢暫時未有外意. 而且我們有一個仔. 如果不係我一早想離婚.
私人傳訊

白羊座


別墅

積分: 506


43#
發表於 05-11-2 16:30 |只看該作者

Re: help!

ahahaaron

請不要介意以下的問題:
1.你們從開始的時候是不是一直都是由妳來負擔所有費用?
2.當結婚後, 妳有沒有抱怨過, 他的人工少, 不思上進... 等等
就算沒有對外提起, 會不會經常在家中有怨言?
3.妳認為本身有沒有問題? 兩人談話時, 是妳講得多還是他
多? 妳有沒有覺得講妳的公事他覺得沒趣及聽不懂?
4.妳認為妳是愛他, 還是擁有他的全部? (男人, 好多時候會
希望多一點點私人空間的, 有給他嗎?)

失去自已愛的人, 那種感受非筆墨可形容的. 在妳做任何決定之前, 請先想一想自已. 第一, 不要摧殘自已, 第二想想妳的家人.

再談.
私人傳訊

ahahaaron


洋房

積分: 43


44#
發表於 05-11-2 16:42 |只看該作者

Re: help!

From the start of the 拍拖, I don't mind he earn less than me and he is actually very honest & 對我好好, he have any job before as a storage worker, he earn $10000, will pay me $4500. But he is always to change his job. Not in a long term, the last one work for 2 1/2 year long. I have said that he can't change his work always & every job has its difficulty. He should force the situation. The starting until he said he is no feel to me, we can talk always since he is not much talk his friend also. He just talk at home to tell me what he do & what happen
Since I speak everything not use my mind. 好坦白, I think I have said many many talk which is hurt him. Sometimes, I always buy the thing & he compliant me to buy the cloth again & when I buy, I will say leave me alone since I buy from my money. That is the point I hurt him in seriously.

私人傳訊

ringoivy


翡翠宮

積分: 76971


45#
發表於 05-11-2 16:45 |只看該作者

Re: help!

哎睇到你呢d文章令我諗起我ex-bf, 所以我真係比唔到意見你了, 因為我係你的話, 我會
私人傳訊

白羊座


別墅

積分: 506


46#
發表於 05-11-2 16:57 |只看該作者

Re: help!

ahahaaron

如果妳仲愛佢.
妳有沒有想過, 妳用錢的同時, 也要留小小面子俾個男人呢?
妳有沒有想過, 他工作不如妳穩定, 婚前也是這樣了吧? 為何要求改變而不是接受呢?

真得都想清楚了, 接受不來就一定會分開的.
妳接受得到分開後對妳的影響嗎?
妳接受得到自已有失敗的感覺嗎?

是擁有, 是愛, 還是佔有?? 這些是後話了.
私人傳訊

StrawberryBB


大宅

積分: 3727

畀面勳章


47#
發表於 05-11-2 17:05 |只看該作者

Re: help!

可能你老公已開始覺得和你有距離和思想上有分岐,所以作出這種大男人思想和小男人自卑心.如你認為你老公值得讓你長此等下去,可繼續,希望他有天醒覺回到你身邊.可是他覺得樣樣開支都是你付,自己像是沒用的一個,在家沒地位,這種無形壓力令他透不過氣,唯有離開這地.這個心結是你老公自我形成,基本上你做任何事都幫不上他,只有他自己才能解決.
私人傳訊

ahahaaron


洋房

積分: 43


48#
發表於 05-11-2 17:18 |只看該作者

Re: help!

Yes, I have the feeling of unsuccessful of myself. It is not my first love. I have losser before. I have feeling very much. I also want him stay at my 身邊. I just sent the SMS to him and he phone me. He ask me don't think too much, to eat & live as normal. I ask him to let me to help him to solve out his 心魔. and I suggest we move back to his mother's home therefore it can no more spent all from me and let him balance his pressure.
私人傳訊

ahahaaron


洋房

積分: 43


49#
發表於 05-11-2 19:04 |只看該作者

Re: help!

so I am afraid that he will thinking in 牛角尖. but I can't do anything for him to solve his thinking. I just can stay alone & keep the alone life at coming future
私人傳訊

方鍾SIR


洋房

積分: 403


50#
發表於 05-11-2 23:39 |只看該作者

Re: help!

男人選女朋友和老婆的要求是完全不同的, 女朋友最好有幾叻得幾叻, 因為帶出黎威o麻, 老婆叻則最好只有老婆自己知, 最好連老公都唔知,不幸的是, 太多男人在決定和誰結婚之後先知自己的自尊價值多少, 寧可窮d都不願有一個富老婆,起碼發起火黎都似番個男人, 可能佢都冇做男人好耐囉, 差d唔記得左自己係男人.類似的個案實在太多, 冰封3呎, 非一日之寒, 雙方未能及早察覺一切已太遲, 一隻手掌係拍唔響既, 亦沒有對與錯, 只有當事人自己最清楚.
私人傳訊

onon1022


子爵府

積分: 12600

好媽媽勳章


51#
發表於 05-11-3 00:07 |只看該作者

Re: help!

報紙有私家偵探個d...可以打電話去問下幾錢...



[url=http://lilypie.com][img]
私人傳訊

dingdon80808


民房

積分: 9


52#
發表於 05-11-3 02:52 |只看該作者

Re: help!

婚姻係兩個人的承諾，需要兩個人努力；　唔可以一有間題就輕言放棄，　神做女人有種男人沒有的柔韌，這種耐力是維每個家庭必需要的原素，　有人會話，咁女人咪好唔抵？其實女人天生係屬於家庭的，　當看見丈夫生命有成長，　自己怎樣付出都會覺得值得的，　而且我覺得你地大家都有需要轉變和成長的地方，　先改正自己的間題，　才能幫助對方成長！　請記住，　敎仔是女人的專長！況且，　當兩個人一同經歷過之後關係會更穩固，　試想想，　當你身体某個器官有病，　你都會努力去醫好佢，　斷唔會一開始就切咗佢，　係咪？男女之間的感情亦一様，　離婚並不能解決兩人各自的間題！　能努力一起面對自己及對方的間題才是長遠的出路，　先冷靜一下，　再一齊找出路吧！　不要追得太緊，　男人會愈走愈遠的啊！　留給他一點成長的空間吧！　你願意等待，　他總有一天會明白你對他的愛！
私人傳訊

SarsMum


大宅

積分: 3243


53#
發表於 05-11-3 11:35 |只看該作者

Re: help!

I was very upset when I was reading this passage. I believe that your husband still loves you, but he cannot adjust the reality/economic situation between you two. The manager, of course, is a problem on your relationship between U2.

Even he will be back to you, something you have to think,
1. Can you forgive him on his relationship with manager?
2. Will you change your attitude on him?
3. You must assume that he is like that forever (the job situtation, never think that it will be better), can you accept it?
4. The final question is on him, whether he is willing to be back?

I have the similiar situation with you. For some reasons, my hubby could not work during the first year of our marriage. I was respobsibile for the household expenses. Then, he got a job and is working very hard now. My qualification is much better than him, but now he can earn 3 times more than me. We also argue sometimes but I never say the hurting words. I understand that I must respect my seond half, some words really you never can say. Even I was angry, I never say that what are yous and what are mine.

No matter who earn more money, I think you have to learn how to respect the 2nd half. I think that your hubby cannot talk to you naturally and equally because you always say "I buy it, it's mine, not yours". It really hurts a man being your husband.

Think what you WANT and what you can DO.

Good Luck
私人傳訊

thymama


洋房

積分: 262


54#
發表於 05-11-3 12:38 |只看該作者

Re: help!

一家唔知一家事，不過從你嘅messages睇，我會覺得問題喺你度多過喺你老公度。你似乎無當你老公係一個人，只當佢係你嘅一件附屬品。你搵多過老公無問題，頭家本來就應該係兩個人共同承擔，你駛多d都係駛落頭家度，依家老公又唔係一個仙都唔攞返黎，咁邊可能同老公計得清清楚楚？d野買返黎就一齊用，點可以話d野係你嘅老公無份？試想想，調返轉，老公話佢買返黎d野你無份，你會點？如果連最起碼嘅自尊自信你都俾唔到你老公，試問佢仲點可能喺呢頭家裏面搵到愛同被愛嘅感覺？男人就算喺自己老婆面前都死要面，但你老公對住你就顔面無存，咁佢有咩辦法面對你？依家你仲換埋門鎖，到底你係想你老公永遠唔好返黎，定係想威脅佢先？如果你已經玩厭左“你老公”呢件玩具，你就撇脫d放佢走，唔好拖泥帶水；如果你真係仲愛你老公，又可以接受佢喺外面做過嘅野，又知道你老公都有心回頭嘅話，咁你就應該好好反省一下你地嘅相處方式，好好同老公傾下你地嘅將來。

少少題外話，莫講話係老公（或老婆），就算係仔女，都需要喺屋企搵到自尊自信，家係每一個人嘅基地，如果連屋企人都睇小自己，你話點會唔自卑？無人想面對自己失敗，唔想面對，咪離家出走囉。
私人傳訊

SarsMum


大宅

積分: 3243


55#
發表於 05-11-3 14:10 |只看該作者

Re: help!

thymama
你講得十分十分好.
私人傳訊

ahahaaron


洋房

積分: 43


56#
發表於 05-11-3 14:22 |只看該作者

Re: help!

Thank you all of you to give me the advice. That is helpful for me to 反省 & 檢討 myself in deep. Both of us has the problem in this matters. Both of us need to growth in the future. If I am still using the same attitude to him. That is the result I should bear. I don't know can I 容忍 what he have with his manager at this moment. Since I am still trust they are nothing happen. The manager is just a role to let him take his leg away & it is a 考驗to both of us. The major problem which I should solve, not the manager, is our 相處之道. Anyway, I have a clear mind to know what I want & what I do. Although I just nothing can do with him. But I need to update myself & change of my mind of thinking & talking. I hope I still have the chance to show my change to my husband & he also can show me he have growth. Hope we still have the 緣份 to run together. I am still welfare all of you to give me advice since you advice is important to me to show what I don't know & thinking. I am still need the support to process this difficult time. Thank you so much to all of you
私人傳訊

ahahaaron


洋房

積分: 43


57#
發表於 05-11-3 17:41 |只看該作者

Re: help!

Urgent !! My husband just phone to me. Since he is on leave on tomorrow. He will back to home. I said my door lock is break down. He can't come to home since he don't have the new key. He ask me to put into the mail box & he collect by himself. I said I want to see him & I can take leave on tomorrow (since it is our 5 anniversiary marriage day). I also tell him I will not force him to talk our problem at this moment & will wait until he want to active talk by himself. He said he want to take away the charger of the HP Plam. Do you think I should give him the new key. Since I don't sure he is nothing with his manager, & he is still under 冷靜期,
私人傳訊

st.bintai


洋房

積分: 362


58#
發表於 05-11-3 17:44 |只看該作者

Re: help!

ahahaaron 寫道:
Urgent !! My husband just phone to me. Since he is on leave on tomorrow. He will back to home. I said my door lock is break down. He can't come to home since he don't have the new key. He ask me to put into the mail box & he collect by himself. I said I want to see him & I can take leave on tomorrow (since it is our 5 anniversiary marriage day). I also tell him I will not force him to talk our problem at this moment & will wait until he want to active talk by himself. He said he want to take away the charger of the HP Plam. Do you think I should give him the new key. Since I don't sure he is nothing with his manager, & he is still under 冷靜期,



Sorry, May be this is the Fact !

He will say BYE BYE to you & wrap up all the things !

Take care
私人傳訊

ahahaaron


洋房

積分: 43


59#
發表於 05-11-4 12:24 |只看該作者

Re: help!

any advice or suggustion? :-(
私人傳訊

thymama


洋房

積分: 262


60#
發表於 05-11-4 12:34 |只看該作者

Re: help!

攤牌啦，同老公好好討論下到底大家想點，仲有無誠意喺一齊。如果我係你，我會配定新鎖匙先同老公傾，傾得好當然要俾條鎖匙佢先，日後可以慢慢商量；如果老公想走，就一定要理智d同佢傾清楚手續同點樣善後。依家唔係意氣用事嘅時候，如果老公已經無心留低，死 lur 都無用。
私人傳訊


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