夫婦情感 今日: 3 | 主題: 42753

積分: 32

62^#

發表於 05-6-25 23:14 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

為免再有傷害，我把所有留言都刪除了！以後也不再上來！

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Sanho

積分: 403

63^#

發表於 05-6-26 01:00 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

雖然寧教人打仔, 但有時如果一方面已經麻木到咁既地步(指你太太), 而另一方面又咁痛苦, 已死心, 分開都係一個選擇, 因為咁樣忍落去, 對一方真係好唔公平. 學你話齋, 讓彼此感受下分開帶來既變化, 或者分開左你會發覺, 原來一早應該分開.

父母分開係無奈既現實, 就好似生係貧困家庭, 冇人想, 但命運臨到你, 都要學習面對. 你可以做好爸爸. 影響一定有, 但你對佢地既關心可以幫佢地適應, 因為你唔係出去玩女人然後走左去. 祝好.

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wsw9341

複式洋房

積分: 279

64^#

發表於 05-6-26 01:48 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

一個擁抱或親吻都唔肯就確實有問題，依ｄ就係人類最基本表示”友好”既動作，簡單連小朋友都需要可況大人？！
作為一個女性，我都覺得位太太有問題，先生係陪伴自己走五六十年路既人，而小朋友始終會長大，可能二三十年後就會有自己生活，所以作為太太應該更加好好維持與先生既關係．
現今香港越來越多結左婚二三十年既女性離婚，原因係太注重小朋友同工作，所以大家都唔好忘記最親既先生．

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bandband

積分: 11510

65^#

發表於 05-6-26 02:16 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

其實我認為你唔應該咁易放棄一段婚姻囉,講真,佢除咗唔鐘意你攬攬鍚鍚,查實佢都為咗呢個家庭付出咗唔少...不過其實都睇你同佢點樣諗,如果係我,我覺得只要大家仲相處到,只係變咗同屋主關係,我會唔介意繼續留响度同佢做個掛名夫妻直至仔女長大成人出嚟社會做事...因為在於我依家既生存目標,都係全部為着囝囝着想,囝囝就係我全部,我地生得佢出就要瞓哂身去俾最好既生活環境佢成長,至於愛情對我嚟講真係唔多重要,始終人大咗,嗰啲情情撘撘既嘢真係唔適宜再去針對去沉迷,可能你會認為我冷血,但係現實歸現實,如果你地只係二人世界,無生過仔女,咁就話可以玩合則來不合則去既規則啫,但係生咗仔女,你同你太太都已經係人地父母,每理由因為你地之間無咗愛情(或者拍拖時既熱情),而傷害仔女...無人想自己父母分離,人地小朋友一番到屋企就可以見齊爸爸媽媽,自己就無...你明嘛?你都唔想你囡囡第時都舖你地後塵,又是郁啲吓同老公離婚,仲要只係因為大家無攬攬鍚鍚...

講真一段感情係日積月累咁大家一齊建立出嚟,你一下子就搞散佢,又咁易放棄,查實你又甘唔甘心呢?你郁啲吓咁快去了結呢段廿年感情,但又唔俾多啲耐性同恆心去改善,只係老婆講咗一句"一直忽視我的感覺！也沒有好好想過我的投訴的嚴重性..."你就放棄...我覺得對呢段感情唔認真既係你自己!

有邊對情侶/夫妻未曾冷戰過?未曾誤解甚至傷害對方過?連嗰啲曾經係咁俾老公打到入廠既老婆都可以寬恕老公以往既過失,而你又點解唔可以再堅強啲再勇敢啲???人地係女人都可以咁硬正,能夠以寬宏既心去包容對方,你係男人,點解唔可以?!

我地都明白你感受,亦都好撐你,只係,真係唔想你响呢一刻咁輕易講放棄!你明嘛?人生總有失落有挫折,但只要你勇敢去面對去克服,到時你諗番轉頭,你只會笑番自己點解自己曾經竟可以為件咁小既事而想放棄...我唔識乜講,但你明白我講既意思嗎?

klk.klk 寫道:
坦白說，我對她說我已死心，就是我已死心，雖然說廿年相處的感情不易放棄，但我感覺不到她的愛已有好幾年……，哀求或是強求都沒有效果，才會死心…！對於我的指責，她的解釋是一直忽視我的感覺！也沒有好好想過我的投訴的嚴重性！……我認為這並不是合理的解釋…！因為我們都討論過這麼多次，而且亦說了其嚴重性(我說過唔好等到無可挽回才後悔) ！我現在實在想跟她分開一下…，感覺分開所帶來的變化…，只是，我想對女兒有點交待…，即使兩夫婦不能好好相處…，也可以讓我做個好爸爸…！

老公VOICEMAIL 1 2 3

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bandband

積分: 11510

66^#

發表於 05-6-26 02:20 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

其實如果另一半願意一早主動嚟關心/諒解亦去分擔女人既重擔,我諗呢啲事情唔會發生囉!講真,女人都渴望得到另一半既諒解,關心,同尊重.

wsw9341 寫道:
一個擁抱或親吻都唔肯就確實有問題，依ｄ就係人類最基本表示”友好”既動作，簡單連小朋友都需要可況大人？！
作為一個女性，我都覺得位太太有問題，先生係陪伴自己走五六十年路既人，而小朋友始終會長大，可能二三十年後就會有自己生活，所以作為太太應該更加好好維持與先生既關係．
現今香港越來越多結左婚二三十年既女性離婚，原因係太注重小朋友同工作，所以大家都唔好忘記最親既先生．

老公VOICEMAIL 1 2 3

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January

大宅

積分: 1738

67^#

發表於 05-6-26 09:52 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk,
今早無意中看到呢個topic, 我自己都有少少感觸, 因為我阿爸阿媽就係因為咁樣離左婚.

其實我想你太太對你的態度應該不是一時三刻做成的, 可能開始時大家無去正視, 跟住就變成左習慣. 有d野佢慣左你又好難迫佢再變返以前咁.

廿年感情真係吾容易, 大家人生同行到一半, 下半生就冇左個家同個伴, 你真係要諗清楚先好做決定.

試想想你同你太太已前係點認識, 拍拖時幾甜蜜, 初婚時既情境,生第一個小朋友時既喜悅....相信呢d野都係你地寶貴既回憶. 吾好只係固箸眼前不如意的事. 我絕對認同男人很雖要性和強烈被愛,他們只有愛是不足夠的, 他們可容忍少, 但不可以冇(否則他們便不會那麼容易有其他女人). 請你吾好放棄著. 既然你倆個人都傾吾掂, 點解吾搵婚姻輔導傾左先呢?

或許你太太有問題而佢又吾識表達同handle, 又或者攪不好原來一直都係你有問題, 所以橫掂你都諗住放棄, 不如正視左個問題, 搵出個原因先作出決定.

我想家計會都有呢類形既輔導. 我教會d牧者都經常做呢d輔導. 希望你既問題可以盡快解決啦. 願神祝福你的家.

私人傳訊

積分: 32

68^#

發表於 05-6-27 01:20 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

為免再有傷害，我把所有留言都刪除了！以後也不再上來！

私人傳訊

bandband

積分: 11510

69^#

發表於 05-6-27 02:08 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

del.

老公VOICEMAIL 1 2 3

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Sanho

積分: 403

70^#

發表於 05-6-27 08:09 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

不過我覺得bandband個case同klk.klk老婆好唔同.

bandband同老公相處方式唔同左, 但你都有反省, 有改善(唔再喝佢). 你老公玩野, 令你厭煩唔俾佢掂, 都係"一個月"姐, 同佢老婆果種持續數年既麻木唔同. 你老公玩野, 係想你緊張佢, 呢d都係夫婦之間關係表達既一種, 不論正面負面, 你都唔會覺得自己對住舊對你完全冇興趣既木頭, 或者同佢上床, 以為自己係度姦屍(咁講好絕, sorry). bandband只係係度adjust相處方式, 兩個case真係好唔同, 完全不能一概而論.

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SandyHung

積分: 13830

71^#

發表於 05-6-27 10:01 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk,

I just read this topic today. I suggest that it's better for you to see a Social Worker in order to solve this problem. If you separate with wife, how's about your daughter? She will be very pitiful.
I believe that no matter cannot be solved. Let's think about it. If you need Social Worker's telephone number, I will PM you.
Actually I also found a Social Worker a fewer years ago. It's workable. Let's try.... :lol:

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langmiu88

民房

積分: 9

72^#

發表於 05-6-27 10:59 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

This is my first time to read the topics. Frankly speaking, I agree with bandband. kl kl, I think you are the one having problem, not your wife. I read all the discussion, and it seems you never agree with what the majority commend. You only think what you want but never willing to think from your wife's sitandpoint. You cannot accept the change of life after a long time marriage and had the kids. You just want to go back to the life before that, it's so selfish. I recommend you to see doctor not your wife. I can feel your wife to be nothing wrong (she is a working late mom and had 2 kids to take care of, althoug you have maid but most of the mother will definitely spent all of the time to take care of the kids when they back home so how you expect her to do) I feel sorry with your wife while you have a husband like you (so selfish and never think about her) You will never understand how difficulty to be a working mother. I can tell you will be absolutely wrong if you decide to left your wife and kids. Do you want how bad will be for your kids if you made just decision. You think you can still be a good father after leaving family! It is not fair to your wife. Please change your mind and talk to your wife and found a social workers to talk with. Honestly, you should say sorry to your wife if you have such thinkg.

私人傳訊

積分: 32

73^#

發表於 05-6-27 11:19 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

為免再有傷害，我把所有留言都刪除了！以後也不再上來！

私人傳訊

積分: 32

74^#

發表於 05-6-27 11:28 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

為免再有傷害，我把所有留言都刪除了！以後也不再上來！

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circleda

伯爵府

積分: 19477

75^#

發表於 05-6-27 11:55 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

langmiu88:

I think you are the one having problem. What is the problem of anyone asking for love feeling??? Why should one tolerate for living with a wood??? Why should one just work for money, feed the family and be a father without any return???

Your idea of "the change of life after a long time marriage" really make me sick and make the society worse! Is there any fairness for hubby?

May be you could accept such low standard marriage, may be many people are really living in such, but this is no good. You chose to accept this living doesn't mean everyone should be.

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prettywife

男爵府

積分: 6787

76^#

發表於 05-6-27 12:29 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

毛毛虫寫道:
klk.klk

如果我係你, 我一定要問出個原因, 就佢親口講出問題係邊到, 因為我都覺得如果你老婆唔愛你, 佢唔會為你生了兩個小孩的. 而階段只是你既猜測, 不如直接地大家座低傾傾問題出係邊到

找婚姻輔導員/社工幫忙有用嗎?

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mrsamyamy

民房

積分: 89

77^#

發表於 05-6-27 13:21 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk,

I suggest that you should try SandyHung's social worker. Not all social workers are good. If somebody has a good social worker, why not give yourself a chance?

I also do not agree that for whatever reason ( e.g. for the kids' sake) and force oneself to stay with one's spouse for convenience purpose but actually the relationship has died. It is cheating!!

However klk.klk, it is your responsibility to try "EVERTHING" before you give up. You have only tried to talk to your wife!! Try to consult a senior social worker or any professional people like those sex doctor (e.g. Ng Man Luen if my Eng translation is correct). Ask (or even beg) your wife to go with you.

One thing I also suggest you to do. That's my experience. I (or We) have lost feeling towards my hubby for years. Suddenly he needed to go for a trip for more than a week. When he came back my feeling towards him amazingly turned on again. But after a few weeks, that kind of sparkling feeling faded out again. But at least I realize that we still care each other. So I think it is not bad to separate for a short while, just set some time limit to that.

Marriage is so important, you must have tried everything before you make a decision. Anyway it has been years like that, it doesn't matter to wait a few months or even longer to make divorce decision.

We all hope you will have good ending.

Amy

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: 8-)

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never

民房

積分: 23

78^#

發表於 05-6-27 13:23 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk

(首先想認同KLK的講法: 大家在此從不認識, 可以在一個陌生既空間暢所欲言。)

我好明白你感受, 直因我的家庭跟你一樣, 只不過角色、性別倒轉。

生完BB, 做媽媽的往往把所有時間去陪BB, 再加上賀爾蒙的影響, 跟本可以說"無慾無求", 總之BB第一, 因為佢地仲細, 又未識表達, 因而忽略了身邊的老公。他是一個好老公, 知道我晚上的"首要任務", 也不來打擾我, 他找尋自己的空間, 打機、睇電視、上BT... 久而久之, 他也適應了自己"獨身"生活, 晚上累了就睡, 跟本不知道有個老婆在等佢上床。身驅很近, 但關係卻越走越遠了。

有時, BB入睡後, 我都特別提他, 早D上床, 我等佢。但, 他仍是累極才上床, 上床後, 我攬他, 他也推開我說很累, 明天先、下次先等等說話。其實, 我的賀爾蒙正常番, 對老公有所需要, 但他反而"失調"了。一次這樣、2次又係這樣、3次4次.... 我忍不住問他: 要唔要BOOKING? 要唔要跳隻求偶舞? 究竟是我問題還是他問題? 我哭了! 點解要屈就自己去"求"佢? 行埋不是很自然的事嗎? 攬攬鍚鍚唔係出於愛咩? 對老公亦坦白說出感受, 他就交下功課, 敷衍了事。

對外人講, 人家溫溫馨馨, 怎會感受得到? 人家給你的意見, 越聽越噢惱。好的, 叫你去找社工、找人傾訴。唔好的, 搭多你幾腳, 問題一定是你"有所要求"。所以我一直沒把我的"心事"講出, 因為跟本無人明白。把心聲吐出來目的只求一解悶氣, 肯聽肯花時間睇的, 我已感激。單單打打, 指指罵罵的, 勉了! 多謝, 因為你不是我, 不是我老公, 不是我家庭, 實在感受不了, 解決不到。亦不想受更多無謂壓力了!!!! 我還是覺得自己事, 自己解決。 (請各位不用對我的事作出回應了, 免得有所得罪或野在氣結。)

如果唔係有個BB, 如果我後生多10年, 如果我仍是獨身, 我已經化行妝去找我的"生活"了, 享受了我的"樂趣"。但一紙婚書, 為了保住"尊守婦道""相夫教子""三從四德", 我就被迫收埋自己。更不知從何開始, 我就好像沒有被愛、不能有要求, 慢慢地成為一個湊仔的機械了。

:cry: :-| :cry: :-|

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Lily

別墅

積分: 751

79^#

發表於 05-6-27 16:03 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk:

你們都老夫老妻喇﹐你太太肯一頭半個月應酬你一次算唔錯喇﹗唔係你想要乜就有乜﹐各人喜好感受不同﹐包涵下可以嗎﹖想著她的好﹐你有一輩子的時間去愛她﹐終有一日會擗開座冰山得到你想要的東西。

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ManMan502