夫婦情感

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洋房

積分: 32


81#
發表於 05-6-27 16:24 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

為免再有傷害,我把所有留言都刪除了!以後也不再上來!


複式洋房

積分: 134


82#
發表於 05-6-27 18:24 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

有朋友同你太太一樣, 唔鍾意同先生親熱, 初時我地都覺得個女人唔0岩, 唔愛自己個老公,其實大家都有問題.

佢同我地傾訴時說, 她知道她先生是一個顧家的男人, 翻工放工沒有其他不妥, 過時過節, 生日, 聖誕節沒有特別, 無禮物, 無特別節目, 一家循例出去食飯當慶祝, 傳統的一個男人, 傳統的一個家, 亦因為咁, 她和老公親熱的行為唯一只會出現係晚上在床的一刻, 或者當無人在家時, 佢老公會以接觸佢敏感部位作為玩笑同佢玩吓, 其餘正經的親熱行為例如簡單的親吻, 拖手, 搭下膊頭, 摸下對方0既面, 甚至關心的說話相方都已十多年無試過., 無講過!

這個朋友覺得好似老公要解決自己的需要才會同佢親熱, 其餘時間佢覺得好寂寞, 有時覺得個老公其實己經唔愛佢, 佢好想有被愛的感覺,佢話衰d講句覺得自己好似個妓女咁, 要果時先搵佢, 佢開始抗拒同老公親熱, 對佢老公接觸佢敏感部位好反感, 但係佢都話知道唔係淨個老公0既問題, 佢自己都有問題, 但係認為老夫老妻, 仲可以話要咩被愛的感覺咩, 所以佢都無佢老公講, 所以問題一路越黎越大.

其實有D野我覺得有D人可以有”性”無”愛”, 但係亦有D人要有”愛”先可以有”性”. 點為知愛, 大家定義不同, 有人認為佢老公無咩大錯, 係唔識體貼啫, 有人認為女人梗為想有人錫 感覺唔到有人錫做咩要結緍, 但係但其實佢地又唔係唔愛對方, 只係未了解大家0既需要, 邊個錯, 大家都有錯.

唔係要將呢個CASE同你個CASE相題並論, 不過出現問題唔會係單方面的.

KLK.KLK
我覺得你其實早已有決定, 你只想找多些人支持你的決定,但我對你的決定不甚贊同, 你知自己想要的東西, 對自己要誠實, 但你知你太太, 你小朋友想要的東西嗎?無論你同意我所講與否, 希望你唔會後悔!

如有得罪之處, 唔好見怪!


klk.klk 寫道:
想不到有這麼多人都有同感…。我自知自己想要的東西,我亦希望自己對自己要誠實。所以我不會勸你們忍下去,嘗試解決,是負責任的做法,但像我試了這麼多年,還不見有成效,試試分開也是可行的嘗試。你說得很對,自己的生活是自己來決定的!


子爵府

積分: 11510


83#
發表於 05-6-27 20:29 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk,

無論你認唔認同我既諗法都好,我只係希望你唔好咁輕易放棄一段婚姻,無人能夠完全理解同明白你既處境/感受,我地唔係你,你點決定條路點行,決定咗之後,真係唔可以後悔囉!

最後,只好祝你好運!


伯爵府

積分: 19485


84#
發表於 05-6-28 10:28 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

Lily:

如果你真係諗住老父老妻就可以求其過一世, 你老公又同你一模一樣, 咁真係要恭喜你地, 胡塗是福...



洋房

積分: 403


85#
發表於 05-6-28 11:19 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

circleda 寫道:
Lily:

如果你真係諗住老父老妻就可以求其過一世, 你老公又同你一模一樣, 咁真係要恭喜你地, 胡塗是福...


can agree no more.

原來咁多女人認為呢種麻木不仁既婚姻係可以長期(請注意, 係長期, 三, 五年) 忍受, 無唔妥, 忍落去, 遲d "自自然然" 會好, 並且認為有要求既一方係唔岩, 令我真係.........好驚訝.


大宅

積分: 4323


86#
發表於 05-6-28 12:02 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

我覺得冰封三尺, 非一日之寒. 如果要用時間, 耐心地將冰山砍開, 我想...可能用一輩子的時間, 還不足夠呢.

如果要對著枯樹灌水, 那麼會再長出綠葉嗎? 每個人都有追求理想生活的權利, 樓主曾盡力去挽救, 可惜, 感情不是他一個人的事, 一個人的努力, 是不足夠挽救一段感情. 要死灰復燃, 再續愛火, 那麼, 就是2個人, 同心努力, 才可以辨到.

沒有愛的婚姻, 是不快樂的. 你可能會說這份愛而升華至感情. 可惜, 每個人也需要被愛, 如果對方只把我當成屋主, 整天總是對我冰冷冷的, 在床上, 我再也不能吸引他對我有一點點熱, 那麼代表著他不愛我嗎? 一個月是這樣子, 沒關係, 我可以等. 可是, 那已是好幾年的事, 那麼, 真的要人家跟一具沒有心的木頭至白頭嗎?

人生苦短, 如果可以選擇, 為什麼要選一條痛苦的路, 為何不樣相方都快樂一點.

我想中國人就被一句"寧教人打仔, 莫教人分妻", 而不希望自己向人家吐出要分的念頭, 或著, 其人生字典裡, 沒有"分離"二字. 當然, 也不想負上破壞別人家庭的不好名聲. 不過, 我相信樓主不會因為別人的一句話, 因而放棄多年的婚姻. 他必定反覆地思量, 才會post message. 他心裡必定有一個答案.


別墅

積分: 819


87#
發表於 05-7-5 14:52 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

我完全認同 "never" 的說/想法.

我亦相信好多夫婦的情況如同klk.klk一樣,但礙於子女,多年的感情,疲累的工作,別人的眼光,中國人的傳統思想及文化等,都會與其夫/妻百頭到老,而我自已亦是當中的一份子,漸漸失去了愛的滋味和感覺,從而懂得另覓生趣,自得其樂,只有在靜下來的片刻在惱內回味很久很久以前相愛的甜蜜美妙的片段.我看klk.klk是一個絕對相信愛情,追求愛情,不甘於平淡的人.


大宅

積分: 1639


88#
發表於 05-7-5 16:09 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

好不容易才看完所有文章

klk.klk, 我也是男人, 你講既所有野我原全明白….
恕我大膽假設, 其實你早已遇到你所講”愛你”/俾到“愛”感覺你既人, 什麼對老婆的最後通知, 查實只是在找個理由支持而已….

死者以已(唔知係唔o甘寫), 死乃心死也, 不需找理由, 不需找對錯, 更不需找藉口, 既然心死, 是誰對錯亦冇關係…

愛是不求回報, 在乎過程, 不求得失…
愛是永恆忍耐, 包容, 和接受….

正如某國領導人一番話: 不要問政府能給你多少, 而是問自己能貢獻多少…

你說結婚廿多年,…相信你也應四十過外,…不要說自己有幾偉大, 付出幾多,….若事實你太太真的如你所說般不愛你, 這廿年她所受的痛苦, 所付出的(生兒女, 與你同眠), 所忍耐, 包容, 和接受的必然大你千倍!最後的勝利者是你太太, 因她從未對你作出要求, (因我只見你要求他), 真正能做到”不求回報”的是她…

你才是失敗者, 繼續找你有回報的愛吧! 正如你說:人生苦短, 生活是自己來決定的!


子爵府

積分: 11510


89#
發表於 05-7-5 19:32 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

同意!已經講哂我想講既嘢.
dummypimp 寫道:
好不容易才看完所有文章

klk.klk, 我也是男人, 你講既所有野我原全明白….
恕我大膽假設, 其實你早已遇到你所講”愛你”/俾到“愛”感覺你既人, 什麼對老婆的最後通知, 查實只是在找個理由支持而已….

死者以已(唔知係唔o甘寫), 死乃心死也, 不需找理由, 不需找對錯, 更不需找藉口, 既然心死, 是誰對錯亦冇關係…

愛是不求回報, 在乎過程, 不求得失…
愛是永恆忍耐, 包容, 和接受….

正如某國領導人一番話: 不要問政府能給你多少, 而是問自己能貢獻多少…

你說結婚廿多年,…相信你也應四十過外,…不要說自己有幾偉大, 付出幾多,….若事實你太太真的如你所說般不愛你, 這廿年她所受的痛苦, 所付出的(生兒女, 與你同眠), 所忍耐, 包容, 和接受的必然大你千倍!最後的勝利者是你太太, 因她從未對你作出要求, (因我只見你要求他), 真正能做到”不求回報”的是她…

你才是失敗者, 繼續找你有回報的愛吧! 正如你說:人生苦短, 生活是自己來決定的!


洋房

積分: 403


90#
發表於 05-7-5 22:13 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

老公有要求(愛或性)就係唔體諒, 已有外遇, 搵藉口.
老婆冇要求, 麻木, 唔出聲, 唔理老公, 就係偉大...

I see!


大宅

積分: 1639


91#
發表於 05-7-6 11:02 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

Sanho 寫道:
老公有要求(愛或性)就係唔體諒, 已有外遇, 搵藉口.
老婆冇要求, 麻木, 唔出聲, 唔理老公, 就係偉大...

I see!


有冇愛, 唔係睇表面,
同樣一件事, 同樣一句問候說話, 出自不同人口中已可以有不同效果, 你可以感受為一種愛、或煩、或討厭、或冇感覺...

有些人可能很少說話、很少做一些所謂"關心對方"、"愛對方"的行為, 但他們可能說一句:"一切盡在不言中"

有些丈夫可能每天都俾驚喜另一半, 做很多事去取悅另一半, 卻換來另一半冷言冷語, 但丈夫卻沒有認為妻子不愛他, 他還視這種事為樂趣...因為他愛妻子, 而所作的事是"出自內心所想做而做", 而不是因為"希望要將妻子由泠變熱"而做, 所以無求就不會落空...

有些夫婦更可能兩日一小炒, 十日一大炒, 但炒完又甜蜜蜜...

所以, 同樣一件事, 原全係在乎一個人點去睇,...
當你已經唔再愛一個人, 睇既野當然唔同


洋房

積分: 403


92#
發表於 05-7-6 11:22 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

有冇愛, 唔係睇表面,
同樣一件事, 同樣一句問候說話, 出自不同人口中已可以有不同效果, 你可以感受為一種愛、或煩、或討厭、或冇感覺...

有些人可能很少說話、很少做一些所謂"關心對方"、"愛對方"的行為, 但他們可能說一句:"一切盡在不言中"

有些丈夫可能每天都俾驚喜另一半, 做很多事去取悅另一半, 卻換來另一半冷言冷語, 但丈夫卻沒有認為妻子不愛他, 他還視這種事為樂趣...因為他愛妻子, 而所作的事是"出自內心所想做而做", 而不是因為"希望要將妻子由泠變熱"而做, 所以無求就不會落空...

有些夫婦更可能兩日一小炒, 十日一大炒, 但炒完又甜蜜蜜...

所以, 同樣一件事, 原全係在乎一個人點去睇,...
當你已經唔再愛一個人, 睇既野當然唔同



多謝指教, 十分精采.


翡翠宮

積分: 76971


93#
發表於 05-7-6 12:07 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

我見好多人都建議尋求婚姻輔導唔通當住個唔識既人面前講埋d咁路骨既說話咩, 老實講我真係做唔到, 連對住老公我都講唔出更何況係一個陌生人, 但原來真係好多人為左仔女而硬要住埋一齊何苦呢 我都覺得好辛苦三日唔埋兩日就有小問題出現, 我都努力維繫緊但我真係唔知我可以忍到幾時, 有人話可以的話當大家為同屋住, 咁高情操既事我自問無本事做得到, 但離婚又係唔係最佳既解決辦法, 真係唔知道

但尋晚見我個女呼喝個老豆, 而爹地問佢野又唔答, 咁我順理成章問下佢, 你係咪唔鍾意爹地佢話唔係, 我話若果我地搬走留底爹地一個人住好唔好, 佢反應好大即刻話唔好, 我要見到爹地呀, 所以有時真係要兩公婆好好地傾下, 離婚真係唔係解決既辦法.


民房

積分: 89


94#
發表於 05-7-6 13:14 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk,

I agree with dummypimp although I still insist that if the relationship has died a couple should not be forced to live together to pretend to be husband and wife anymore.

In your case I think "something" should be done. Just like dummypimp said, it seems that you only realize that you have contributed to the family by teaching your daughter homework etc, but you haven't realized how much your wife has contributed to the family,too. You are the one who "request" something but have you ever thought that you should "contribute" something to your relationship? I don't mean what you contribute to the family, but to the relationship between you and your wife. Example, rather than demanding her to show interest in you, have you ever thought of doing something to "please" her? (e.g. cook dinner for her, buy little gifts to give her surprise, take her out for those movies that "she" likes, and most important of all, don't complain but praise her for little things.) Maybe you are not aware that you are actually very self-centred.

I think your wife is a person that has very high perseverance but she is not a good communicator. I strongly believe that she is not contented with you about something and just that she doesn't want and doesn't know how to face this discontent. I think you are not totally right in this relationship. Think what you can improve yourself to repair the relationship.

ringoivy,

It's so painful to stay with a man just for the sake of the kids. Try to solve the problem and think what you can do to repair the relationship. Maybe the only words both of you want to hear are just " I love you." Try to put down your dignity and put one step ahead of your hubby.


Amy
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: 8-)


洋房

積分: 32


95#
發表於 05-7-6 13:56 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

為免再有傷害,我把所有留言都刪除了!以後也不再上來!


大宅

積分: 1639


96#
發表於 05-7-6 14:28 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk 寫道:

其中一個重點,就是她為甚麼不能對我熱情點?即使性方面不能滿足我,起碼也要從其它行為上表現出愛我!如果兩個人一起,少說話,又不在行為上表現出愛對方,那樣,跟不愛對方又有些甚麼分別?她不想與我親熱,擁抱和接吻都不願意,沒有合理的解釋,大家又討論了許多次,所謂警告,都是希望她會改變過來,但如果做了這麼多之後,她都不重視的話,那又怎能說是愛我?


究竟你有冇看過我之前所寫的?...
你連什麼是愛也不清楚, 你連自己一早不愛你太太也不知, 竟反過來要求太太呢樣嗰樣!!! 不竟你已四十多歲人了....


洋房

積分: 93


97#
發表於 05-7-6 14:38 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

只寫出小小個人意見.

您一早相識您太太時, 她都是這樣的性格. 為何您現在才要求她要改變她的性格啦. 現在您提出這麼多問題, 莫非有變的不是她而是您.


洋房

積分: 403


98#
發表於 05-7-6 14:48 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

klk.klk

我睇你都唔使再費神回應, 你唔覺得係度對牛彈琴嗎? 不如計畫下將來要行既路好過. 邊個有情邊個無情, 邊個懂得愛邊個唔懂得愛, 也只有你同你老婆最清楚, 亦對唔需要對任何人交代或者辨解了.


民房

積分: 23


99#
發表於 05-7-6 15:04 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我

I totally agree with what Dummypimp said.

I personally feel that your wife still loves you but adversely you do not love your wife anymore. If you do, why you did not try your every effort to improve your relationship with your wife but instead you have kept saying to leave the family and your love with your wife is “died”? If you still love your wife, your love will not “die”. You should have acted positively to find ways to “repair” the relationship and should not saying that you are leaving the family and giving up!!

Leaving your wife and your family is a good solution? Will it solve your problems? I don’t think so. This will only harm your relationship with your wife. This will sure hurt your wife’s heart and make your children sad because their daddy is leaving them.

I read through all the discussions here. Some of the friends here suggested you to consult with the social workers who may be able to be of some help to you because they could provide you with some professional advices, help you how to improve your relationship with your wife and give your wife some advices on how to do to please you in order to “repair” the relationship. However, I can tell that you did not listen because you did not respond to these suggestions – you are only saying that you have determined to leave your wife and the family.

I also got the same feeling as Dummypimp that you have already got a “girlfriend” who could give you the so-called “love”. What you have said here are actually all “bullshit”. What your intention is to find an excuse to escape your guilty. You need support from others to stand on your side. All excuses………..

Have you ever thought of your wife? She is a working mother. She works every day and after work she requires to look after you, the children and the family. She has been doing these works days and nights over 20 years. Did she make any complaints to you? I think she did not because she loves you and the family so she has been willing and enjoying the works even though they are hard to do. What does your wife get in return from you? It’s all your unreasonable condemnation.

The title here “My wife does not love me” should be changed to “I do not love my wife anymore”.

Sorry, I am a very straight person. You could ignore what I said here if you feel uncomfortable.


民房

積分: 9


100#
發表於 05-7-6 15:27 |只看該作者

Re: 老婆不愛我


I totally agreed with the you and the others, as I said before, klk klk were never listen anybody who don't agree with him. And I agree with little leaf that he had a girlfriend already so he is now trying to hiding his guilty.... why we all need to be cheated by this selfish guy. I did not responds with klk klk before, is the reason, I don't believe him!!!! I don't believe a man who will give up a 20 years love and the kids with just a excuse "my wife don't love me". As if he still love her, he will find a way whatever to save this relationship, professional consultant, friends, etc. But it seems he never listen and keep finding a excuse to ask for support. The only reason is he has changed to love another one. Dummyping, you are a male, do you agree? you but not your wife has changed

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