I have known my husband over 13 year, it means that I have know my 99 over 13 year. When I was first dated with my husband, I already knew his mother was not easy to deal with. She was a widow and she would treat my husband as her husband. It means that I am the second wife of husband.
I always try to understand my 99's feeling and be patient with her. I know she was tought and demanding, if not she can't be a widow over 34 years. I respect her but not mean I will agree her thinking. She always wants to interrupt our life but I always show we are independent. The big trouble is that she acts " a chiken in front of others but an eagle in front of us". Anyway, I and my husband has good relationship and we will discuss how to deal our 99 in different aspect. I always confort my husband don't be so angry with her mother when she does something wrong. I know my husband loves his mother so much and I try to not say anything emotional bad regarding her mother. I will account for the response of 99 with my husband and thinking how to avoid it again.
I have been married over 7 years and I have suffered a lots in different aspects from my 99 but I still try to respect her. She is a kind person but her life in the past was a really a hardship, so her attitudes were not good. I hope she enjoys the life now " a good son, a reasonable daught-in-law and 2 grand- sons". I don't want I am the one make her suffer and my husband he will regret he cannot take good care of his mother.
Now I am learning how to love my 99 not because of my husband but I understand it is a hardship being be a single mother. I hope I can willing live with her a few years later when she needs somebody to take care (Now we live only 5 minute walk). It is really a big challenge to me but I must have more preparation and handle it carefully.
Now I know I can win her respect and she will listen to my advice. Also, she knows me well and she insist me to listen her instruction. When I understand her more, I will be angry with her less.
Anyway, dealing the another woman of our Dearest is not easy. We need understanding, wisdom, patience and love. As we are already a mama, we will be 99 one day. I am afraid we may also create different troubles to our children.
I hope all of you can find the Key to live peaceful with 99 in different conditions.
this method is very good, "一定是經我手俾奶奶", my husband doesn't allow me to do this and my 99 think that my husband should in-charge of the family, my salary should use to support the family, SHE has the right to use his son's money even though he cannot pay all the expenses of the family....that means, I should pay for the family, my husband should pay for her...CRAZY WOMAN!!! SHE is the winner la!~
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