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101^#

發表於 07-6-1 04:30 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

xother...

hey...i guess i cannot talk to you...since we are just totally different...Im not here to debate with you...Im just coming to here to share my stuff to others...If you don't like my style i cannot help...I have mentioned so many times that i hope you can undastand...but you just didn't you still think in your own way...I hate talk around ppl...i think everyone will have their own feeling in their case...this is the last time i say...i really hope you can understand...

for your question...i guess i can answer you...If i hav high risk in IPS...i will do the Amniocentesis...if still high risk i will do the abortion...I don't know if you will believe that i wont feel depress in this matter...but i can tell you...i WONT...My sister can always make decision for me...Im so sure and trust that...Do you think i can take care my child when the night time when my home maid is not working?

Im not defenin' for anything...but jz let you kno that ppl ard the world always hav different story...who doesnt wanna spoil and take care by their husband when they were pregnant?? I can just tell you that i don't hav diz kind of luck...I can after someone if he can make it...But i still hav 2 life rite?? Why cant you think the positive way and be happy to face everything? shud i cry everythin' in my case? I don't think so....I guess what im plannin' and doin' is the best...

If you reli cant understand...i can say nth...I will cry when i was down or sad but i will stand up soon...i kno facin' a problem is what i shud do...cryin' and keepin' so down n sad wont help...

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積分: 1136

102^#

發表於 07-6-1 05:14 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

blueberriii,
I hope I didnt offen you in any of mean. I understand you have very strong character and I dont ask you to agree with what I said, I just post it to remind you that life is not always comes as you plan.

Yes, you do have very positive thinking and this is the reason I am trying to show you the other side of life. It is not because I am negative person, in fact, we always need to look at both side in case anything happen.

What made you think I dont understand you?

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積分: 31

103^#

發表於 07-6-1 08:38 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

xother...

No i never think you are mean....but that's sth dat i cant explain or even i try to explain you will think of different way from me...

and do you think i duno all the stuff has other way ard? but just if you always sit in the negative way? it wont help...why don't you face it positively and think of the solution? rite? If i hav time to think of the bad side why not i try to solve the problem?

Maybe my wordin' is bad...but this is what all i mean...If you can understand then u won't say such stuff...i belive...

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awah112

禁止訪問

積分: 93097

104^#

發表於 07-6-1 13:38 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

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積分: 31

105^#

發表於 07-6-2 00:08 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

awah112...

我都覺得其實爸爸好重要...講真...唔通你估我想個bb一出世就無老豆gei mei...我阿媽一生完我就離婚...改嫁我依家個step father...不過好好彩我個step father超好...當我親生女一樣...我都想我個bbo係個健康o既屋企入面長大...不過...有時...唔係樣樣o野都可以咁完美...咁佢唔同我一齊...咁我可以點...殺o左佢都無用ga啦...都要好好諗下點生活...我成日諗我已經俾好多人幸運好多...好多單親媽咪...又無錢又無屋企人又唔知點養大個bb...起碼我都叫做知道自己應該點做...錢方面唔洗點擔心...我阿媽同我講...係會辛苦o的...不過你有信心先會做到個好媽咪...如果依家就諗埋一邊...咁個bb一定唔會好...所以我日日都叫自己要努力o的...要俾bb以後好o既將來...

咁我男朋友都講得好清楚佢會做佢o個part...佢又無話會唔理個bb...講真...可唔可以一齊已經唔重要喇...

你講得o岩...一個好好o既男仔朋友都可以俾個老豆o既型像個bb...呢個人我一早已經有人會幫我...

真係都幾多謝你...睇完你個message我又覺得...好彩...有人都明白下我個情況...咁我就要更加俾心機...令個bb都明白...其實我都好愛佢gei...可以我會忙o的..不過我都無話我會唔理個bb...do my best啦...其實我都想生個男仔!!!!haha~~

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積分: 1136

106^#

發表於 07-6-2 01:33 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

blueberriii,
If you know me or read my other post, I am not a negtive person. But from your posting, you are just super positive or I should say you sound too confident. May be this is your character. In fact, it is good and I am glad that you have done your research about having a child.

I assume you are smart on study as well as work, just wonder did you try your best to save the relationship with your boy friend? I cannot imagine anyone just leave eventhough he knows this is his child? One think I am in doubt about your character...do you think it is because your over confidency lead to this relationship? Are you following your mom's foot step as she also divorce after the child born?

If you are talented person, do you think you can drop your career for a year and come back? My ex-boss give up her job as per the babies and Canada has less discrimination regarding your age as long as you are capable on your job. I understand why HK people struggle but I believe it is not common for Canadian.
Or you are more like my current boss who works 20hrs a day includes she is on vacation. She is a successful businesswoman and with lots of money, her children all went to good university. However, even she has reached over 50, she still work very hard.

One last thing, just wonder what is your aim in life? Make lots of money? Achieve a career? Have a lovely family? Or what else?

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積分: 31

107^#

發表於 07-6-2 02:20 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

xother...

im so sorry to tell you that what you just said in your message just make me feel sick...if you duno other's stuff...dun always "assume"...

i dun wana tell why my ex boyfriend's mum doesnt lik me at the beginnin'...and actuli...she likes me so much...and me and my ex has no problems in our relationship...jz bcz his mum found our that...me and my ex...we might b cousin...She is jz a v. traditional woman...she said...if you guy were cousin...we cannot b 2geda...datz y...by that time...we tried to fight...but there's no help...me n my ex is so sad n we can do nth...dun always "assume"...please...and No one likes to be divorce OKAY?? you better think b4 you say sth...my mum's a divorce woman,so what?! Does it mean that I luv to be followin' her step?? No one wants a sad story...jz there's sumtime u cant control...

You are not negative but u didn't kno how to respect others...you even don't kno me in person...how can u say my character is lik dat or lik wot...?? I shudn't share my story in here...if i kno i will receive a message lik u jz sent me...

One last thing for you...when you didn't kno other's situation...u even didn't ask y? so dun assume dat y my bf cannot b 2geda with me...he jz sent me an email to me yesterday sayin' dat he luves me and im da best for her...but he jz cannot change his mum's mind...and he cannot leave his mum alone...since his dad's not ard...so u can undastand now rite??

think b4 u say...words can b a killer...wot u try 2 sayin' abt me and my ex's relastionship is so HURT...u jz duno our story...so stop assumin' dat...

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積分: 1136

108^#

發表於 07-6-2 02:52 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

blueberriii,

I dont know if you just hate me or it is really something I wrote to offen you so much.
We dont know each other and why I assume something base on your posting. You also assume I am a negative person but did I use the same tone as you did?

It is freedome to share your story and it is also freedom to reply or not. Why you need to use that strong words? I also come from a business background, my parent is also rich and what make you think I dont understand you situation? Is it because I dont agree your point of view?

My husband also experience disagreement with his parent when he decide to join me in HK. He give up his postgraduate study and his parent is very upset about that, but since he is not a small boy, he can decide what to do in his life. We have married 8yrs now and we still love each very much and he has never regret to risk his relationship with his parent. I only know the story about his parent after marriage.

Just be nice as your words can also hurt me.

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積分: 924

109^#

發表於 07-6-2 03:54 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

blueberriii,

I have read all 2 pages of 發表. I really understand your situation. You came here for chatting, for expressing yourself...not for being challenged. Please relax yourself!! I don't think xother means to say that. She just put too much her own point of view to the conversation. You are right, everyone has her/his own story You have your life and adventure. There is no formula for living!! Everyone has her/his own ability to live. This is your way = this is your way!! Once you meet challenge, you will know what to do...maybe you are tough to face it yourself, or maybe you want someone helps...it depends!!

The only thing I want to say is I am glad you have the confident to face everything, but don't be stubborn when you need help!! Okay?

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積分: 31

110^#

發表於 07-6-2 04:08 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

xother...

first of all...i didnt assume u r a negative ppl...i never never say that...i always say i can undastand wht u mean but im not usin' da same way to think as u...and i hope u try to undastand...isnt it?

this is wot u wrote to me...u even didnt kno me or my stuff how cum u say sth lik dat...u even didnt ask y his mum doesnt lik me...then u said sth lik "One think I am in doubt about your character...do you think it is because your over confidency lead to this relationship?" and u r sayin' sth "just wonder did you try your best to save the relationship with your boy friend?" you jz set up the fire from here...Do you fink i wana let a relationship dat easy...do u fink i didnt try to save it?

if your husband choose u instead of his family then jz u are lucky...and im not as lucky as u...he told me dat he cannot leave his mum...his dad is died already...he cannot against his mum...his mum is da one who brought him up and gave him so much. I cant ask him 2 leave his mum and b wif me...his mum and sis need him more than me i kno...datz y...theres so many fings in different family...dun try to assume others story...

and i hav said dat if u r undastand...u won't say sth lik dat...and im positive since i kno even im negative it won't help!

if u do fink my words is hurt...try to read again ur last message...see what u hav sent me...

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積分: 924

111^#

發表於 07-6-2 04:13 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

xother,

I think you are very nice to share your experience. But I think you really try to apply your own point of view to the others.
You raise your child this way, doesn't mean that everybody has to follow what you do/did. Everyone has her/his own background, characteristics and believes. You cannot keep telling people what is RIGHT. Again, living has no formula. No matter you agree with what blueberrii said or not, this is blueberrii's choice. Her bf's story is not the same as your husband's story although they both got hard time with their mom. No people are the same. Understand the others' situation, and place your suggestion as a 3rd person. We are more than welcome to hear from you.

私人傳訊

積分: 31

112^#

發表於 07-6-2 05:50 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

ahbocat...

thanks so much...im jz sad since xother brough up the relastionship b/w me and my ex...that was really a hard time to go thru...i hav tried so hard to keep him but i jz cant...even now...everytime i fink of our past...i wanna cry...i didn't see my real dad since i was really young and the god reli "play" me...after so many things...we also get married...it sayin' dat we might b cousin...what da hell?? i tried to talk around his mum...and even the my OB said even we are cousin we are not reli so close and won't affect our baby...but his mum jz v. traditional...and i cannot b so selfish and ask him to leave his mum...and i kno he cannot make it too...his dad was died in accident when he was 13...he has the responsibility to take care of her i kno...

i dun wana do abortion since i dun wana kill a life...datz y i choose to brin' my baby to this world even i kno it would b a reli hard time...I hav no choice...i must hav 2 go 2 work since i need money to support my baby...and give him or her da best...I guess mayb i cant b a best mother but at lease i will try...^^

Dun worri i will try my best to take care of my baby...
and i promised to update u my news...

i went to see my OB 2day...he didn't say much jz said the baby's alrite and from the last u/s it was 2cm in 8wks and 162bmp...he said dat its normal...he jz asked me not to b so worri since if you were worrin' 2 much...it gonna became worse...I hav 2 relax and take more rest...haha*actuli i sleep at 11 everynight...i guess i hav enough sleep*haha...but i didnt gain ne weight in diz month...dats so weird...since i hav eaten a lot of food...actuli he didnt say much he jz ask me 2 go for the IPS on 12wks...i hope everything will b alrite in da test...^^

How are you feelin??

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積分: 1136

113^#

發表於 07-6-2 06:29 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

ahbocat,

I never think my words has challenged blueberriii nor force her to go to my way.
I am here 3.5yrs, full time working and bring up my child just without any relatives help. I know how hard to go through and that's why I try to give her a picture what is going on. Working 12hrs a day and bring up a child is not easy in any country. Yes, her mom did it in the past, but it doesnt mean blueberriii can do it now, right? Especially this is a new country! Culture is different as well as the people attitude. Money is not everything. eg, majority daycare operate from 7.30-6pm and maid only work 8hrs a day. What can you do if you are alone? My husband and I barely make it to drop off and pick up.

Yes, I agree no person is the same but what I am trying to do is putting myself in her shoes and share my view.

blueberriii,
I dont want to dig and dig what you have posted in order to prove why I assume your character as well your relationship with you boy friend, but I understand each one has individual story. As I said, I have no intention to force you or prove that you are doing wrong way. May be you think I am challenging you but this is not true or I never intend to force you to follow my way. How about look at things from my way?

I am just a working mom and now waiting for my baby to come out. I am not come here to shout but just hope my experiences can help you to get out of your situation.

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積分: 924

114^#

發表於 07-6-7 00:32 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

It is nobody fault. You, your ex and his mother...all of you have different reasons and worries. I hope that time can make the situation better. :-P

Once you chose to be a single mom, you will have a tough future. I am glad your ex said that he will do what he should, but honestly, don't look at it as a guaranteed promise. I think you may have an idea what I am talking about. YOU will be the main person in the coming problems and questions...and of couse happiness!! There are lots of succeed single mom, and on the other side, there are always some opposites. You are a smart lady, you know how to decide your own road. HELPERS are surrounding you, especially you are in Canada, don't feel shy to ask.

I feel very okay! Thanks for asking!! I went to see my OB yesterday which was the first appointment. I did the first stage of IPS which is 1) measure the nuchal translucency = the thickness of the skin at the back of the neck of the baby (in HK, the people calls it "neck skin") by ultrasound 2) the first blood test. Four weeks after, it will be the second appointment, then I think I will do the 2nd blood test. After both blood test, the IPS result will come out. Yesterday, the OB told me that the nuchal translucency measurement is 1.5mm which is okay (under 3mm is fine). I am so glad ah!! Now, nothing is more important than my baby's health!! He checked the heart beat too, but I forgot to ask the bmp. I just asked how big the baby is...he said it's about 5.5cm. Hahaha...still very tiny!! He gave me a "

regnancy and Birth Journal" book for marking down all the baby's info, and inside the book, there are lots of valuable information prenatal/postnatal. Hopefully, your OB will give you something like this too! Otherwise, I have no problem to show you!!

You didn't gain any weight? Don't be too worry of anything. You have to be relax and happy all the time!! Your baby can feel what you feel, so you know what to do la!! My OB said I can only gain 20 pounds until the due date, the rest of the "pounds" will go to me instead of the baby. OMG!! Now, whenever I feel like to eat, I eat more fruits and high fibre food. I think it is much healthier, isn't it?

One of my friends told me a tip!! She told me that it is good to have a "hospital tour" before your due date. You have to call or check the website of your hospital and see if they have this kind of service. It is a tour of the hospital Labour & Birth area and Mother & Baby Unit which helps orient you to the facilities. She said that in the middle of the night, most of the hospital doors are locked, the tour will show you which doors are opened and the way to lead you to the proper unit. Ya...you will never know when you will need to go to the hospital for delivery!! 2 of my friends went to the hospital after midnight!!

Please keep us posted if you have any news!!
All the best to you and your baby!!

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doggie

男爵府

積分: 7158

115^#

發表於 07-6-11 23:15 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

congratulation to Xother, she got a baby boy on June 8... mother and son are all o.k.

私人傳訊

積分: 31

116^#

發表於 07-6-12 02:55 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

ahbocat...

abt my ex and his mum...i hav no hopes on them...even he said he will do sth i kno itz not a promise or must...his mum jz called me on last sunday...she wanted me to do the abotion...and she is lik everything is my fault and jz i forced his son to b wif me...and if i didnt get rid of this baby...they won't take any responsibility...and they are lik they baby must be unhealthy...everything is real hurt and they even called my mum to say all the bad thing abt me and my baby...but i hav standed up already...since my family is not lik them...they said they can support me or i can go back hk so that they can take care of me and the baby...i reli thx my mum n sis so much...i hav to be strong to face all the problems from now on...i kno there is a v hard way for me...but i will do my best...since i cannot give up my baby....the baby is most important to me...

yes...i always ask ppl around me who hav their kids already...they are jz so willing to help me...im so happy and lucky i guess...

and i went to do the IPS 1 today...my babys NT is 1mm only is that too thin??the nurse said under 3mm is okay but im still so worry...she said my baby now is abt 6cm and i forgot to ask the bmp too...shes so nice she gave me 2 printouts of the u/s pix...im so happy...now i can jz wait 3more weeks 2 see my OB again...i hav so many questions wanna ask him...reli cant wait...

ok update me if you hav any news...

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PoohPoohMaMa

積分: 2823

117^#

發表於 07-6-12 12:23 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

blueberriii,

I wonder how close relative are you and your bf. Are you close cousins? Too sad to know your bf's mom is so stubborn...

The neck skin thickness 1 mm of course is okay, very normal. More thick it is, higher risk of Down's Syndrom.

私人傳訊

積分: 924

118^#

發表於 07-6-12 22:46 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

Your bf's mom is very stubborn!! You doctor told you already saying there should have no problem to have this baby. I don't understand why she still said those bad words to you. If you and your bf are closed cousins, I don't think you will take the risk, and I think your parents may not like this too. But now...only his mom has all these problems.

I am glad that your family is on your side...and actually which is always like that!! Your own family is always the most trustful and full of care!!

As PoohPoohMaMa said, 1.0mm NT is good ah!! Thick NT is not good!! That's why the nurse told you under 3mm is good lor!! Hehe!!
I forgot to ask my OB to give me a print out of the u/s because we were too excited too see the baby movement, but I got one already when I did the first u/s in a lab in the middle of May. I won't forget next time when I see my OB.

I feel so tired these days and don't feel like to eat anything. The sick feeling comes back?? Oh no!!!! :-(

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積分: 924

119^#

發表於 07-6-12 23:30 |只看該作者

Re: 2007 New mother & mother-to-be (Toronto)

Hi PoohPoohMaMa,

Haven't seen you for few weeks!! How is everything? How is your bb and your daughter?

My husband & I went to Babies R Us last Saturday browsing for stroller. We think we will go for Graco Travel System. I like the handle of Evenflo's car seat because it is a "S" shaped which is easier to carry, but the quality is not as good as Graco. Peg is good ah, but it is a bit over budget to us.
I browse around over the internet too, and I found that buying in US is much cheaper ah...at least 30% less, even in the Babies R Us website!! With the exchange rate advantage now, I think it is worth to go down to buy baby stuffs!! Now, I am waiting if my husband will go to US for business trip, then it will be wonderful!! Haha!!

I didn't join Lydia's classes because one of my friends registered a prenatal program by York Region. It costs only $40 for 8 classes. She persuaded me to join her. I am happy to go with her too!!

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