少年成長 今日: 4 | 主題: 15916

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122^#

發表於 08-3-28 09:57 |只看該作者

Hi Sandra,

近來都成日睇你個topic, 覺得你好好心機教各位mami點樣教小朋友. 真係好偉大.

我有2個小朋友, 大仔7歲, 細仔剛1歲半.

大仔而家小一, 佢嘅問題係喺學業上面, 佢唔肯自動自覺做功課同溫習, 又好依賴人. 我而家用緊”讚” 嘅方法, “獎勵” 同埋”時鐘”方法, 希望有改善啦.

我最煩嘅係細仔, 佢好難攪, 脾氣好大, 我最怕係佢成日”尖叫”
近來, 佢好鍾意用"尖叫"黎表達佢不滿嘅情緒.
話說前幾日喺婆婆屋企佢要食嘢(佢好喂食), 咁d表哥個個都係緊糖, 佢又手指指話要(佢到而家都唔肯開金口), 咁我就比左一粒佢食, 食完佢又手指指, 咁我比多一粒佢講明last one, 佢點頭.
OK! 咁食完佢仲要喎, 咁我梗係話唔得啦! 於是佢就發作啦. 不停尖叫, 大喊, 拗腰, 好似發左顛咁, 點引開佢注意力點”tum”佢都唔收聲. 咁都夜喇, 我話返屋企啦, 我以為出左門口落到街佢會收聲, 點知佢一d都無收儉, 仲越喊越勁, 街上面每一個人都望住佢, 好恐佈. 當時係”工人”咩住佢, 我唸佢都想搵”lone”娟.
其實我心裡面好嬲, 又唔知點處理. 返到屋企佢都係不停喊同叫, 咁我叫工人返入廚房, 我同阿仔講唔好喊, mami錫返你, 佢不停搖頭, 咁我就話你唔收聲就企喺度唔准走繼續喊, 佢選擇左後者.
我專登開左個TV想引開佢注意, 佢有時會停喊幾秒, 跟住又繼續喊. 我唸佢喊左有20分鐘, 我真係好嬲好想"車巴"佢, 但我控制住自己. 我覺得夠啦. 真係好煩好炒耳, 我走去佢面前同佢講, 你喊左好耐啦, 夠啦, 你唔好喊過黎mami度鍚番你啦, 於是佢走過黎我度”book”喺我度, 咁我就鍚番佢, 同時又解釋佢聽佢咁樣係唔啱.
琴日佢又發作啦, 佢想食papa jelly, 我話唔得喎, 一日只可以食一粒, 你下午巳經食左啦, 不如食餅餅啦. 於是佢又勁喊, 尖叫同拗腰啦. 工人今次la la 聲close左個廚房門(阿仔一樓計就要搵姐姐), 咁我同阿仔講你唔好喊啦, mami比第二d嘢你食好唔好? 佢不停搖頭, 不停尖叫同喊, 於是我唔理佢. 佢真係好長氣, 喊左45分鐘, 我真係頂唔順, 同埋都好夜, 大家都要訓又怕嘈住人, 於是叫工人攞個奶咀比佢定一定, 佢一見工人就撲過去攬住佢, 跟住就收左聲啦.

其實仲有好多好多問題想問, 不過真係唔可以一次過打哂出黎, 我遲D再問你吖. 希望你唔好覺得我煩啦.

我真係唔知應該點處理, 好唔開心啦!

請賜教!

SPJB Family - Sammy/Penny/Jason/Boris
梓滔(Boris) - 2006年9月25日出世 - 6.6 磅
卓熙(Jason) - 2001年1月18日出世 - 5.5 磅
http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com

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積分: 33212

123^#

發表於 08-3-30 10:26 |只看該作者

原文章由 SPJB 於 08-3-28 09:57 發表
Hi Sandra,
近來都成日睇你個topic, 覺得你好好心機教各位mami點樣教小朋友. 真係好偉大.
我有2個小朋友, 大仔7歲, 細仔剛1歲半.
大仔而家小一, 佢嘅問題係喺學業上面, 佢唔肯自動自覺做功課同溫習, 又好依賴 ...

SPJB :

Sorry, 依家先睇到你個post, 掛住睇同答下面嗰d......
返教會先, 今晚答你！

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積分: 33212

124^#

發表於 08-3-30 23:03 |只看該作者

原文章由 SPJB 於 08-3-28 09:57 發表
Hi Sandra,

近來都成日睇你個topic, 覺得你好好心機教各位mami點樣教小朋友. 真係好偉大.
我有2個小朋友, 大仔7歲, 細仔剛1歲半.
大仔而家小一, 佢嘅問題係喺學業上面, 佢唔肯自動自覺做功課同溫習, 又好依賴 ...

SPJB :

想問吓：嗰次佢冇糖食响街扭到返屋企, 沿途你有冇安撫佢, 即係所謂氹佢呢？
其實只要你能堅持講咗冇就冇, 多幾次佢就唔會再扭, 當然要加埋冇扭時讚！而當佢扭計要搵姐姐時, 姐姐如可以和你一樣坐响度ignore 佢喊(即不作反應)就更加好, ignore 並不表示要嬲佢或者鬧佢, 而期間如佢有其他合理要求亦一樣可以fulfil 佢！記住, 响佢扭緊時你愈氹佢, 愈去揾代替品 offer 俾佢, 佢就會喊得愈耐, 因為這表示你對佢嘅喊「有反應」！

p.s. 千祈唔好講偉大呀, 付出一些時間可以幫到人係好開心架！

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SPJB

積分: 3220

125^#

發表於 08-3-31 14:12 |只看該作者

Hi Sandra,

嗰次佢喺街度
, 我無安撫佢, 工人都無, 因為佢好似失左控咁咩都聽唔入耳. 只係不停大喊尖叫同拗腰.
仲有你話如果姐姐一齊坐喺度Ignore佢會好d, 係唔係即係唔好叫姐姐入廚房呀? 但係佢一見到姐姐就撲埋去, 又用腳夾住姐姐對腳好似樹熊咁又不停拗腰, 好鬼危險架!

最近, 佢有一個bad behavier就係成日閙人. 之前我講過話佢唔識講嘢, 佢嘅閙人方法就係好惡咁”呀呀”聲. 有時人地想掂吓佢手仔同佢玩吓, 佢會好惡咁”呀呀”聲 “fing”開人隻手, 我覺得佢好無禮貌. 我會提住佢唔好咁大聲同人講嘢, “搖頭”就得架啦. 我都唔知佢點解會咁嘅.

仲有, 有次阿仔
計, 我老公忍唔住的佢入房教訓佢(其實只係打左幾吓手仔, 不過都幾大力), 自嗰次次後, 我發覺佢如果再

計都無喊咁耐, 其實係唔係適量嘅打駡係有少少幫助呢? 我真係覺得好矛盾!

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-3-30 23:03 發表

SPJB :

想問吓：嗰次佢冇糖食响街扭到返屋企, 沿途你有冇安撫佢, 即係所謂氹佢呢？
其實只要你能堅持講咗冇就冇, 多幾次佢就唔會再扭, 當然要加埋冇扭時讚！而當佢扭計要搵姐姐時, 姐姐如可以和你一樣坐响度ignore ...

SPJB Family - Sammy/Penny/Jason/Boris
梓滔(Boris) - 2006年9月25日出世 - 6.6 磅
卓熙(Jason) - 2001年1月18日出世 - 5.5 磅
http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com

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積分: 33212

126^#

發表於 08-4-1 11:25 |只看該作者

原文章由 SPJB 於 08-3-31 14:12 發表
Hi Sandra,

嗰次佢喺街度
, 我無安撫佢, 工人都無, 因為佢好似失左控咁咩都聽唔入耳. 只係不停大喊尖叫同拗腰.
仲有你話如果姐姐一齊坐喺度Ignore佢會好d, 係唔係即係唔好叫姐姐入廚房呀? 但係佢一見到姐姐就撲埋 ...

SPJB：

你睇住呢幾個post 先 (Mar 30, 08 WindyChow), similar case :
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com/viewthread.php?tid=840915&extra=&page=1

其實好似另一個媽咪muimui 咁講, 你响嗰度睇多十版八版, 照做就得架啦, 唔好貪快打佢, 真係要先教你！

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SPJB

積分: 3220

127^#

發表於 08-4-1 13:26 |只看該作者

Hi Sandra,

OK, 我會搵時間睇番你講嗰條tread先. Thank!

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-4-1 11:25 發表

SPJB：

你睇住呢幾個post 先 (Mar 30, 08 WindyChow), similar case :
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com/viewthread.php?tid=840915&extra=&page=1

其實好似另一個媽咪muimui 咁講, 你响嗰度睇多十版八版, 照做就得 ...

SPJB Family - Sammy/Penny/Jason/Boris
梓滔(Boris) - 2006年9月25日出世 - 6.6 磅
卓熙(Jason) - 2001年1月18日出世 - 5.5 磅
http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com

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積分: 33212

128^#

發表於 08-4-1 22:07 |只看該作者

原文章由 SPJB 於 08-4-1 13:26 發表
Hi Sandra,
OK, 我會搵時間睇番你講嗰條tread先. Thank!

SPJB :

或者都簡單提一提打佢嘅弊端：

1/ 佢會學咗打人 ~~ 不由分說出咗手先算！
2/ 學咗以暴力解決問題 ~~ 尤其係當佢覺得人地唔啱時, 佢就「可以」去打人, 因佢老豆都係咁對佢！
3/ 處理得唔好, 雙方關係差咗, 你只會更難教到佢, 又或者佢大d 就冇咁怕(怕係痛同怕父母嬲), 你就自然會升級打多d, 咁就好離番轉頭！

教小朋友係講方法的, 打雖然都算係一種, 但用起上嚟嘅技巧比讚同ignore難掌握, 你試咗讚+ ignore先啦！

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天使＿浩浩

民房

積分: 27

129^#

發表於 08-4-3 14:38 |只看該作者

謝謝樓主分亨

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fatbabyfat

別墅

積分: 632

130^#

發表於 08-4-9 15:15 |只看該作者

SandroLo,

你好, 我係無意發現呢個topic, 見你肯花好多時間幫手解決其他媽媽的問題, 我都想你幫下我手, 我真係做人媽咪做到好灰心, 時常都自己喊, 可能我同另外的媽媽一樣, 用錯方法.

我係高齡產婦, 我比一般人受多好多苦先生到個女, 我唔係話自己偉大, 只係覺得好傷心, 我真係博埋條老命先生到佢, 點解個女會咁唔鍾意我. 我明白, 我咩野都話no, 管得佢好嚴, 係無人會鍾意, 但係我全屋上下, 個個都萬分縱佢, 我唔係想佢成為偉人搵好多錢, 起碼要做一個品格好的人, 我真係唔想人地話我無家教囉.

我個女今個月3歲啦, 佢成日都話no mummy, 有時連房都唔比我入, 只要姐姐同 daddy 陪佢瞓, 佢真係成日同我講, "我唔要你呀", 每次聽到我都真係好hurt 嫁.

我講下佢d 曳野比你知 :

總之一唔順佢意的野, 佢就喊, 我會同佢講, 如果係唔啱的野, 你喊我都係唔會比你做嫁, 當佢接受之後, 跟住我想同佢做任何野, 佢都會話, 我唔要你呀, 佢性格亦都好強, 真係可以一整天都咁對我.

例如佢好惡對姐姐, 我同佢講, 唔可以咁, 姐姐好辛苦揍你, 唔可以無禮貌對人, 要對姐姐有禮貌先得, 佢可以當我透明, 直情當聽唔到我講咩.

重有好多好多其他小朋友會犯的錯, 我真係唔識同佢相處, 我老公叫我, 應該開始縱下佢, 唔係我地的關係會破裂, 所以我呢輪真係佢錯咩我都無話佢, 等佢daddy 話佢, 但係佢 daddy 真係係咁易話佢兩句, 我個女都係照做, 咁我同個女的關係係好左少少, 我又問自, 真係為左個女肯彩下自己, 連佢唔啱都唔話佢, 咁又真係對佢同對我好咩, 我真係好心灰, 唔知點教佢同點同佢相處

請指教指教.

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-4-1 22:07 發表

SPJB :

或者都簡單提一提打佢嘅弊端：

1/ 佢會學咗打人 ~~ 不由分說出咗手先算！
2/ 學咗以暴力解決問題 ~~ 尤其係當佢覺得人地唔啱時, 佢就「可以」去打人, 因佢老豆都係咁對佢！
3/ 處理得唔好, 雙方關係差咗, 你只 ...

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cocochiu

積分: 1847

131^#

發表於 08-4-10 18:32 |只看該作者

SandraLo,

我個仔3歲, 叫佢做所有嘢,佢都唔会即時同你做eg, change uniform, put on the shoes, go to brush teeth, even the eating problem. 要叫佢好多次,甚至發脾氣, 佢先會做。攪到我同佢daddy都好唔開心。
另外, 佢又好仲意控制人eg, 成日話"我要mami 同我沖涼,唔要daddy 沖" 為咗咁就會大喊大叫。而我同埋老公,會鬧佢"唔可以由你嚟選擇邊個同你沖,因為個個都一样" 跟住, 佢就會不斷喊, 直至嘔為止。
最大問題喺,由細到大, 佢都好易嘔, 有時會唔想佢嘔而就佢。
真喺好難教。

[ 本文章最後由 cocochiu 於 08-4-10 19:06 編輯 ]

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hch

別墅

積分: 843

132^#

發表於 08-4-10 19:34 |只看該作者

我個仔3歲3個月,最近唔知點解佢常常講:真係激死人嘞!

通常會係一些不順他意的時候講,咁我又諗佢可能真係明白這句話的意思。但是,佢咁講又好似唔係咁好。當然佢一定係見過我們在好真性情下講這句話, 才feel到這意思。我們已在他面前不再講這句話。還有沒有方法去改善呢?

[ 本文章最後由 hch 於 08-4-10 19:41 編輯 ]

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積分: 33212

133^#

發表於 08-4-10 22:42 |只看該作者

原文章由 fatbabyfat 於 08-4-9 15:15 發表
SandroLo,
你好, 我係無意發現呢個topic, 見你肯花好多時間幫手解決其他媽媽的問題, 我都想你幫下我手, 我真係做人媽咪做到好灰心, 時常都自己喊, 可能我同另外的媽媽一樣, 用錯方法.
我係高齡產婦, 我比一般人受 ...

fatbabyfat :

完全明白你嘅境況.....
你呢種情況較少發生响咁細的小朋友身上, 一般都8,9歲先會咁, 因細d 嘅通常好黐媽咪.......
其實我主打教仔topic响呢度：
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com/viewthread.php?tid=840915&extra=page%3D3
你有時間點都睇幾版先, 因來來去去都係嗰d .....
你呢個case, 除咗要學點佢教之外, 你亦須要改變自己, 這點非常重要....
好啦, 要問幾個問題：
誰和囡囡講故事的？
你有工作嗎？
誰跟她玩最多？
你和她玩什麼？
她最喜歡玩什麼？

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積分: 33212

134^#

發表於 08-4-10 22:56 |只看該作者

原文章由 hch 於 08-4-10 19:34 發表
我個仔3歲3個月,最近唔知點解佢常常講:真係激死人嘞!

通常會係一些不順他意的時候講,咁我又諗佢可能真係明白這句話的意思。但是,佢咁講又好似唔係咁好。當然佢一定係見過我們在好真性情下講這句話, 才feel到這意思 ...

hch :

講呢句嘢我覺得問題不太...... 小朋友鍾意模仿, 如你地對佢講呢句嘢冇反應(都係唔話佢+冇表情), 過一段時間佢唔會再講！如果你真係好心急想佢唔再講, 可以用「讚」嚟改正：

成日話「讚」可以改正小朋友壞行為，到底點解同點讚？
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com/viewthread.php?tid=1094774&extra=page%3D4

cocochiu :

明晚答你！Meantime可以睇住 Mar30, 08 WindyChow個case先：
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com/viewthread.php?tid=840915&extra=&page=1

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bigbigfamily

男爵府

積分: 5656

135^#

發表於 08-4-11 12:33 |只看該作者

I always become furious whenever I start asking my son to do his homework and studies. He is 6.5, I just don't know how to handle him anymore. I tried to be a nice mom, and also a crazy yelling mom (which I just can't control myself). He always so lazy and always depends on me to be with him. Since. I am still trying to hire a new maid to replace the prior one. At this moment, I am a full time mom. I think my son doesn't like me as much as before, as I always ask him to study harder. I just don't know anymore.

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136^#

發表於 08-4-11 19:18 |只看該作者

原文章由 bigbigfamily 於 08-4-11 12:33 發表
I always become furious whenever I start asking my son to do his homework and studies. He is 6.5, I just don't know how to handle him anymore. I tried to be a nice mom, and also a crazy yelling mom (w ...

bigbigfamily :
I think a timetable with rewards/reinforcer would certainly help. Meantime, you must stop blaming and and yelling.
I'll let you have the details/topics/posts tonight regarding the use of the timetable.

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137^#

發表於 08-4-11 23:20 |只看該作者

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-4-11 19:18 發表

bigbigfamily :
I think a timetable with rewards/reinforcer would certainly help. Meantime, you must stop blaming and and yelling.
I'll let you have the details/topics/posts tonight regarding the us ...

I have answered somebody recently :
quote
你睇番呢個topic :
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com/viewthread.php?tid=840915&extra=page%3D3
(由舊開始) 以下呢幾個post, 係講時間表同獎勵表, 睇完試吓幫佢定個timetable, 唔明再問我, 記得唔好鬧：
Jan 11, 2008 page 53
HIMMAMA3 問 post #1062
Jan 14, 2008 page 54
jpkp313問 post #1067 / #1070 / #1071
unquote

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bigbigfamily

男爵府

積分: 5656

138^#

發表於 08-4-12 21:52 |只看該作者

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-4-11 23:20 發表

I have answered somebody recently :
quote
你睇番呢個topic :
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com/viewthread.php?tid=840915&extra=page%3D3
(由舊開始) 以下呢幾個post, 係講時間表同獎勵表, 睇完試吓幫佢定個ti ...

Hi SandraLo,
Thank you so much your your help. I am going to check on those links. If I still find anything that I don't understand, I will ask you for further assistance. Hope I would bother you too much. Thanks again. Bigbigfamily

(P.S. I feel the gap between my son and I are getting bigger, and he is getting more resistance then ever. He even talks back.)

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bigbigfamily

男爵府

積分: 5656

139^#

發表於 08-4-12 22:25 |只看該作者

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-4-11 19:18 發表

bigbigfamily :
I think a timetable with rewards/reinforcer would certainly help. Meantime, you must stop blaming and and yelling.
I'll let you have the details/topics/posts tonight regarding the us ...

Hi SandraLo,

I just finished reading those links that you mentioned. I think beside yelling and blaming. I should try to adopt the postive attitude when I deal with my boy. I guess I should encourge him more, instead of giving him the negative comments. I will try to submerge my bad behavior. I really don't want my son to pick up all these negative attitude from me. It is sad. I will try my best to do that.

What do you recommend me to do at the very beginning? How can I not to explode myself? How would you do that? I admit that I am a short temper, anything can trigger me while I am teaching my son. I really want the harmony back, our family lost that after my son started attending primary school.

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