少年成長 今日: 1 | 主題: 16040

積分: 132

143^#

發表於 07-2-26 16:14 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

SandraLo 寫道:
[quote]
我有個仔寫道:
Hi, Snadra

有一事想請教你, 希望你有時間可以覆..
例如佢行行下卦低咗, 我地只要同佢講'唔驚, 起返身啦', 佢就會自己起身無事, 但如果身邊有人大嗌, 例如, 哎呀, 睇住呀, ',仲之佢一驚, 佢就會嚇親, 就會衝過嚟我度打我大喊, 其它人唔明, 又會再鬧佢打我, 咁佢就喊得仲勁...
我又唔可以同身邊人講, 你地唔好嘈, 我會教佢... 但佢地你一言我一語, 又會覺得我點可以比個小朋友打我... 我夠知唔可以, 但我個仔受軟唔受硬, 佢一驚, 或覺得好瘀時就會發癲, 好激動... 我有時礙於有其它人係度, 好似要做枱戲滿足佢地, 鬧個仔或打佢, 唔係d人會覺得我 '同個豆釘講道理' 無用...
你可唔可教我, 在這些時候我可以點處理?

你個case我答咗先，因為好容易.......
基本上你完全掌握到如何處理你小朋友的情緒，問題是旁邊的人搞亂檔，我沒學過怎樣處理這些情况，亦不知那些「旁人」對你有幾重要；但假如是我，我會响佢地一出聲時好 straight 咁同佢地講：「得，我會處理」嚟 stop 佢地。

我女已經中學，但我好記得佢一歲生日嗰日，叫咗公公婆婆、舅父舅母同表哥仔嚟切蛋糕，當時佢走埋TV度，伸隻手預備去開，点知舅母突然大叫，做咩呀！唔搞得，阿女嚇一跳，起先覺得意外，接著眼框一紅，跟住大喊.....
我好鬼嬲，因為我知道佢不嬲都自己開TV，唔係玩按掣，唔睇時重識閂番，外人唔知，竟然咁話佢....

為咗嗰女，我絕對可以「畫」爛塊面，

你個 case 暫時想不到有更好的方法！ [/quote]

HI Sandra,

哈哈, 我真係試過有一次, 同你一模一樣, 個人慶慶地, 我就一句好僵咁" 得, 你地全部人都唔好理佢, 自己做番自己野!' 大家都即刻無人出聲...

同埋你講個case我個仔都試過, 簡直一樣... 希望身邊人會慢慢明啦, 你知啦, 有時係老公d同事, 朋友咁... 自己屋企人我都有開口講番叫佢地唔好咁大聲會嚇親佢... 但人地又唔係成日見... 真係好難開口...

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我有個仔

積分: 132

144^#

發表於 07-2-26 16:17 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

sa2501 寫道:
hi, 我有個仔 ..
我仔 2 歲 1個月, 早前好驚陌生人, 見過既 friend 都驚到大喊. 所以我每次約人都會預先同佢地講明, 唔好一見阿仔就太熱情, 要比時間佢適應.
如果係街度撞到 friend 我都會一早開聲同佢地講.

我唸有時好難避免人地開聲話你阿仔. 如果我係你我會抱開佢. 同佢講你驚姨姨咁大聲講野呀, 你同媽咪講驚驚得喇, 唔使喊喎. 比o個個人聽到呢個對話仲好 tim.

你試下平時同佢玩時, 用公仔, 用圖書..etc 講下點 handle 呢 d situation. 我睇你阿仔都己經好明白事理. 應該有幫助.

[quote]
我有個仔寫道:
Hi, Snadra

有一事想請教你, 希望你有時間可以覆..

我的bb 現在26個月, 其實佢脾氣都差, 但都在進步中, 佢以前會好鐘意打人, 亦都成日打妹妹, 但現在大個些, 我慢慢教佢要點表達情緒, 例如佢以前見妹妹攞咗佢d玩具(妹妹1yr), 佢會一手推開佢或打佢, 我以前會打佢鬧佢,不過我都知自己唔啱,所以現在我會教佢你睇下妹妹喊, 妹妹好痛...若果妹妹損咗, 會比佢知損咗, 佢就會知自己做錯, 咁我再教佢, 如果妹妹攞咗玩具, 你叫妹妹比, 咁妹妹又真係會比佢, 我就讚佢叻叻... 佢都慢慢學緊, 我有時都見到佢會真係叫妹妹比番d野佢...

但有一樣真係唔知點搞, 就是當他做錯事時, 其實如果我慢慢同佢講番, 佢都會知錯, 舉例, 例如佢食飯時, 敲枱面d碗筷, 若果我慢慢同佢講佢會停, 但每每都會有人快過我好大聲喝佢(尤其是同家人朋友出街食飯), 咁佢就會好驚(佢好薄皮), 佢就會即刻發脾氣, 打我, 咁其它人再喝佢, 佢就會再打我大喊....一發不可收拾

又例如佢行行下卦低咗, 我地只要同佢講'唔驚, 起返身啦', 佢就會自己起身無事, 但如果身邊有人大嗌, 例如, 哎呀, 睇住呀, ',仲之佢一驚, 佢就會嚇親, 就會衝過嚟我度打我大喊, 其它人唔明, 又會再鬧佢打我, 咁佢就喊得仲勁...

我又唔可以同身邊人講, 你地唔好嘈, 我會教佢... 但佢地你一言我一語, 又會覺得我點可以比個小朋友打我... 我夠知唔可以, 但我個仔受軟唔受硬, 佢一驚, 或覺得好瘀時就會發癲, 好激動... 我有時礙於有其它人係度, 好似要做枱戲滿足佢地, 鬧個仔或打佢, 唔係d人會覺得我 '同個豆釘講道理' 無用...

你可唔可教我, 在這些時候我可以點處理?

[/quote]

我都有慢慢同d人講下, 等佢地知道我會handle 個仔, 同埋佢地唔駛好心' 幫我教仔.... 我都會試下用故事書引導佢表達情緒, 希望可以令佢明白啦!

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我有個仔

積分: 132

145^#

發表於 07-2-26 16:20 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

b9lingling 寫道:
我有個仔,

I know it's really hard to do so, it's better that you know your family is 好心 to help you and your BB. Cuz for me sometimes I think my 99 is not, she just want to challenge my position in my daughter's mind. That's why I can tell my husbund first. But since my 99 is very bossy and doesn't really care, I've already had a few fights with her. hahahahaha !!
Then I think in your case, maybe when you hang out with your family. When your BB is not naughty, you can nicely and say " oh !! I've seen a BB magazine that said when BB hit ppl, they suggest to do what. And when BB cries to ask for stuff, we should do what. BB nowadays are so hard to raise. hahahaha" Try to say it that way, they might now know you are trying to tell them what to do, it's just what you've heard that could help your BB's attitute better. Remember to smile and laugh while you say that, it's just like a little chit chat with them. I hope it will work.

hi, 我現在同老公都會盡量一個人處理個仔, 一個就懶係笑笑口同人講個仔受軟唔硬類說話.... 我都好希望佢地明白... 唔好再好心幫我教仔... :-P

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SandraLo

珍珠宮

積分: 33215

146^#

發表於 07-2-26 17:00 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

cwcutecute1 寫道:
dear sandralo
真係好多謝你既回覆
其實我相信無人試過向佢面前惡
但係我平心而論
我份人d脾氣都好差下
但呢幾年已經收斂左好多
不過我真係無對過個仔惡
佢喊我最多都係呆左唔知點做好
但絕無打佢鬧佢話佢又無放低佢唔理
所以我覺得佢係天生
我媽咪就話我細個都好惡湊
但我個仔比我更惡湊
我好唔開心一方面我覺得自己好差好憎自己d性格
又會好恨自己好似連累左個仔
再加上老公會成日窒我話個仔似足我
真係想死...
:-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

我好怕人地話我個仔唔乖
可能就好似我比人話緊一樣
我真係無地自容 :-( :-(

cwcutecute1：
唔好意思，我唔係好識安慰人(留番俾其他媽咪啦

)，依家返緊工亦冇咁多時間，只能有話直說。

你攬咗太多嘢上身啦，重有十幾年，点撐？
剎那XX，唔代表永恆，每個人都有自己性格，而bb每一天都在進步 / 改變中。
唔好太信「天生」，冇人會生到一個乖一世唔駛点理点幫嘅bb，後天/環境影響因素更為重要。
惡湊同惡又係兩樣嘢，你對小朋友溫柔可令他慢慢改變，惡湊則涉及如何凑仔，可找人幫手。
Serious的咁同老公講你感受，叫佢唔好再「話個仔似足你」咁窒你。
唔好太睇重「人地話我個仔唔乖」，意義不大，每個人都會有好多嘢，係人地唔知，會誤解，但冇法，你做 management，應該更易明白這一点，你carry out 上頭(Senior or Board)嘅 decision，下面(junior)响度說三道四，你 pleased 得幾多個？

講兩個 case 你聽，希望可令你放鬆 d：
一個6歲但重未識講嘢嘅自閉症小朋友入

教仔心得：媽咪容易犯的錯誤
http://www.baby-kingdom.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=951856&extra=&page=1

成日話「讚」可以改正小朋友壞行為，到底點解同點讚？
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com//v ... page%3D1&page=1

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cwcutecute1

洋房

積分: 99

147^#

發表於 07-2-26 22:17 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

thanks Sandra你真係明白我..我既問題就係我比太多pressure自己同同圍既人, 其實我老公都好辛苦因我係一個好demanding既人, 而我亦太在乎人地點講/睇我個仔

多謝你!我明白喇我會重拾信心做個好媽媽, 我會再比多d耐性同愛心佢, 我會努力 :-P

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cwcutecute1

洋房

積分: 99

148^#

發表於 07-2-26 22:23 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

sa2501
多謝你既分享!好有用我會記住 thx!!
我都要學你咁樣開心面對..唔好咁負面思想!

向呢度得到你地既啟蒙..我開始了解到應該點樣做一個媽媽, 心態好重要!! 多謝你地呀 :-P

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cwcutecute1

洋房

積分: 99

149^#

發表於 07-2-26 22:26 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

b9lingling
我發現新年後仔仔叫喊多左
聽完你地講先知原來同去街有關
我會留意 :-P

我暫時真係唔咁諗生多一個住, 我仲摸索緊點樣做..希望我遲d可以好開心咁話比你知我已經ready :-P

thx for your advice!

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ChloeMammy

積分: 105

150^#

發表於 07-2-28 11:34 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

HI Cwcutecute,

睇左你同其他mammy既分享, 我覺得要改變你個仔, 首先你要改變自己. 好demanding既人, 對大人黎講都唔係咁容易handle, 何況係一個小朋友, 我相信佢脾氣唔好其實係受左好大壓力既表現, 佢唔識用語言表達, 自然會係行為度表現左出黎. 我明白你已經盡量control 你自已, 唔好打同唔好勁鬧, 但係平時你同佢既相處, 無形中你對佢既過份要求對佢造成負面影響. 佢依家仲細, 我好相信只要肯慢慢教, 一定可以攪得好. 但係首先你要將你既要求降低, 一個幾個月既bb, 食瞓玩已經係佢地既全部. 而父母同身邊既人就係比佢愛同關懷, 等佢放心, 放膽去接觸外界, 發掘新事物. 咁細唔需要feed太多野比佢, 可以播d music比佢聽, 比d dvd比佢地睇, 唔一定要係abc, 123, 可以係d小朋友卡通 ... 睇佢有無興趣, 佢唔鐘意就做其他野, 唔好強迫佢做我地認為有益既野. 多d比佢地自由發展既空間, 最緊要佢地開心. 多d hug佢地, 細聲同溫柔既對話, e.g. bb好乖喎, mammy好鐘意你, kisskiss. 我個人覺得令到bb有被愛既感覺好重要, 佢地會懂得去愛, 而且會有比較好既自制能力同溝通技巧.

我以前都會好介意人地點睇我, 但依家比較睇得通. 一d無關痛癢既人對你既睇法, 其實一d意義都無, 只有同你一齊生活,, 一齊奮鬥既人先至係你需要顧慮既人 .. 例如你去街, 有幾個see 9 見你個仔喊, 佢地可能會話呢個阿媽唔識教仔 .... 咁又點呢, 關佢地咩事, 佢地亦無權去批評你, 佢地所見只係三兩分鐘既野, 背後既野佢地一無所知, 而亦唔會知; 絕對唔需要為呢野無謂人而影響你既情緒, 唔值得架, 留番d energy & gas 比個仔仲好啦.

祝順利.

chloemammy

cwcutecute1 寫道:
thanks Sandra你真係明白我..我既問題就係我比太多pressure自己同同圍既人, 其實我老公都好辛苦因我係一個好demanding既人, 而我亦太在乎人地點講/睇我個仔

多謝你!我明白喇我會重拾信心做個好媽媽, 我會再比多d耐性同愛心佢, 我會努力 :-P

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積分: 834

151^#

發表於 07-2-28 14:15 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

咁細唔需要feed太多野比佢, 可以播d music比佢聽, 比d dvd比佢地睇, 唔一定要係abc, 123, 可以係d小朋友卡通 ... 睇佢有無興趣 ( I totally agree what you said. Maybe it's just because in HK, parents are very demanding to their children. I see parents give flashcards for their 4 mths old bb to learn. I let my daughter watch a cartoon here call "Dora the Explorer" and my daughter loves it. She can learn different stuff by watching these cartoons. Now my daughter knows how to speak spanish too. There's another show here in Canada called "The Wiggles", basically it's just 4 guys singing and dancing but my daughter loves it and she loves dancing and singing while watching it too. Maybe you can't find it in HK but there are alot of other relaxing cartoons for your child to learn while they have fun. The Dora the Explorer cartoon is highly recommanded by me, you can go check out toys r us and see if they sell it there. My daughter did learn alot from that show.)

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babygigi

大宅

積分: 1013

152^#

發表於 07-2-28 16:57 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

題外話﹐我個仔都鐘意睇DORA﹐ELMO﹐BOOHBAH﹐BOB THE BUILDER等等BB卡通

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ChloeMammy

積分: 105

153^#

發表於 07-2-28 17:19 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

Hi b9lingling,

so happy that you shared my view. Yes, HK parents are very demanding and sometimes very unreasonable. For me, I just want my baby to live happily and healthily. I understand in a competitive world like HK, kids need to be well equipped in order to "survive" .. however, the foundation is very important. In the first few years, it's the "golden period" for parents to shape the kid's personality, teach him how to love, how to share, how to appreciate .... these are more important than to make them memorize all the ABC.

I am not saying that feeding them "useful skills and knowleges"are not important, I agree that it is a must but we can do it step by step, slowly ..slowly so that our babies can have time to digest!! My baby is close to 3 years old, she still cannot recognise the ABC alphabet .... for me, I think it's OK. We attended Cantonese Playgroups together and she enjoyed a lot .. and did learn a lot, need not to be something very specific, through the classroom experience, she learnt how to follow instruction, how to wait, how to take turns and how to share the biscuits with other kids in the class and most importantly, she enjoyed.

I started teaching her some simple English when she was about 2 years old (some parents may think it's too late)... through watching the Wheel on the bus, Elmo's world and some other interesting educational VCD .. she learnt bit by bit, like unbrella, ice-cream, apple, orange, sit down, jump, question mark, baloon, ambulance, cake, star .. . I started naming some colors about 1 month ago .. she now can name Yellow, Red, Purple .. .. will forget sometimes .. but she loves to try .. she learnt these without any pressure, me too.

I just want to share with other BK mammy my own experience. Be good to yourselves too .. relax ...

Chloemammy

b9lingling 寫道:
咁細唔需要feed太多野比佢, 可以播d music比佢聽, 比d dvd比佢地睇, 唔一定要係abc, 123, 可以係d小朋友卡通 ... 睇佢有無興趣 ( I totally agree what you said. Maybe it's just because in HK, parents are very demanding to their children. I see parents give flashcards for their 4 mths old bb to learn. I let my daughter watch a cartoon here call "Dora the Explorer" and my daughter loves it. She can learn different stuff by watching these cartoons. Now my daughter knows how to speak spanish too. There's another show here in Canada called "The Wiggles", basically it's just 4 guys singing and dancing but my daughter loves it and she loves dancing and singing while watching it too. Maybe you can't find it in HK but there are alot of other relaxing cartoons for your child to learn while they have fun. The Dora the Explorer cartoon is highly recommanded by me, you can go check out toys r us and see if they sell it there. My daughter did learn alot from that show.)

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積分: 834

154^#

發表於 07-2-28 17:42 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

ChloeMammy,

Thanks !! Maybe because I was a preschool teacher when I was in HK, I've seen alot of parents and toddlers. For my opinion, being too pushy isn't good for a child. I think every child have their own process of learning. It's not a good idea for a child to learn too much when they are not ready to do so. My daughter is almost 3 also and I let her learn through her daily life. Alot of ppl said my daughter knows alot of stuff but I really didn't force her to learn. The only time that I really teach her stuff is her potty time. I bought her alot of books and will teach her in the toilet while she tries to poo poo. Singing and talking is important too. Tho she does learn very quickly but her temper is horrible. I've read other articles from other parents and I know that scolding and yelling is not the right way but somehow I can't control my temper. I guess she really got that from me. Can somebody give me advice in how to control my emotions when my daughter is being naughty?

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ChloeMammy

積分: 105

155^#

發表於 07-3-1 10:36 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

b9lingling,

我會深呼吸 ... 深呼吸 ... 跟住由得佢發洩, 望住佢, 一粒聲都唔出. 呢個時侯再try to relax myself... 等自己無咁火既時候就埋去佢度, hor番佢 .. 問佢 "點呀, 做咩咁唔開心呀, 好angry呀, 嬲媽咪唔彩你呢 ... 係呀, bb發脾氣我驚驚囉, 唔開心囉, 所以唔想同佢傾gai ... " 我女女既反應就係喊, 攬住我大喊. 呢個時侯就要緊緊咁抱住佢, kiss 佢, 強調媽咪好愛佢, 好唔想ignore 佢, 叫佢記住唔好發脾氣啦 ...

我試過, 好work.

chloemammy

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積分: 834

156^#

發表於 07-3-1 11:43 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

ChloeMammy,

Let me try try sin. But when I ignore her, she will scream and make me more angry. Also she everytime she makes me very angry she will say sorry and will never to it again but it doesn't mean anything to her. She will do the same thing over and over again, so stressed out.

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SandraLo

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發表於 07-3-1 16:39 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

b9lingling：

I suppose that you have not read the last few pages of this topic regarding how to handle kids' 扭計.

Do you know why your daughter scream? Cause she knew that would make you angry, she's"using" this to seek your attention/affect you to attend to her. And your response (no matter what kind) reinforce her to do this again and again.

If you translate "ignore" directly to Chinese, 「唔理」seems to be the right word, and the mothers feel bad when they were asked to 唔理 their children. But this is not the fact. Ignore here means "give no reaction to their bad behaviour". You ignore their bad behaviour (losing temper, screaming, shouting, throwing things etc) so that they learn NOT to do these to get what they want !

When the mother said she's not able to control her temper, how can she expect their kids to control themselves ?

Please read the last few pages of this topic to learn how to use the "praise"and"ignore" technique as soon as possible, it will certainly help to control your daughter's temper.

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發表於 07-3-2 04:07 |只看該作者

Re: 小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

Thank you very much SandraLo, I'll try my best to control myself. I hope things will get better soon !! thx again !!

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chansc912