少年成長 今日: 0 | 主題: 16081

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1623^#

發表於 08-10-27 19:15 |只看該作者

原文章由 gracefulb 於 08-10-27 12:41 發表
Dear Sandra,
其實如果單獨(即係我沖涼 or 煮野食果陣) 同呀女玩呢, 佢又唔會話特登打人的. 只係遇著佢唔如意(e.g. 爸爸想哄佢, kiss 佢 or 抱佢, 佢又唔肯) 就好易出手打人囉.
我發覺我女對住自己 (鏡/ 玻璃反 ...

gracefulb :

你睇番之前我寫：
「打人嗰度, 我覺得好大機會係嫲嫲「話」過「打打」, 跟住細細力拍佢一下之類, 搞到佢學咗兼習慣咗出手, 佢其實未必知打人係乜, 但每次出手你地都好有「反應」, 就係呢個反應令佢持續咁做！」
佢係bb嚟咋, 未識用言語表達, 咁啱啱學咗用手拍下, 你地就有反應, 同知咁叫做打, 就係咁多咋........ 你想佢点？
所以我咪教你用讚嚟等佢知唔打人係好行為, 等佢知打人係冇人理同冇意思囉！你跟我之前咁講做, 一日讚4次, 3日就掂！

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joycelim

積分: 215

1624^#

發表於 08-10-29 16:37 |只看該作者

回覆 #1 SandraLo 的文章

Dear Sandra,

Pls help on kids eating habbit. My daughter 3 yrs old. likes eating every much. esp. junk food. The problem is she would approach anybody (including stranger) with snack and then ask for it. She got offer around 80% of the time. People tends to be generous to kids I think.
My approaches are:1)Ask other people not to offer food to her if I'm around. But she spent most of the time with granddad. Grandad wasn't fast enough to stop people from offering snack. Granddad pick her up from school daily and other mothers usually bring snacks for kids. So now granddad brings along snacks too. But she still ask snack from others. Luckily she offer her snack to other too. 2)Story time. I made up a little girl name Alice who always take food from strangers and one day she got stomach ache because she ate candy from stranger. Another one is Alice got kidnapped by stranger as she followed a stranger who offer snacks to her. Of course the ending will be Alice felt regretted and promise her mother that she won't take food form stranger. However, after few nights of similar story on Alice, she would say "mommy no story about Alice please." 3)Whenever I stopped her from taking food from strangers, she would say "shuk-shuk / yiyi/ jiejie/ koko is stranger? Cannot take food from shuk shuk /yiyi/jiejie/ koko." Sometimes this offended other people as they were offering sincerely but being called "stranger". 4) So far I managed to successfully stoppped her from taking others snacks but not other family members. Whenever she sees people with snacks, she approaches too quick for them(granddad & maid) to react / stop her. How can I actually make her understand that she should not ask people for snack? or even worse take snack from other people?

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Lounda

積分: 280

1625^#

發表於 08-10-29 16:48 |只看該作者

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-10-23 20:01 發表

Lounda :

Thank you for asking me for past posts regarding this topic......

See here first :
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com/viewthread.php?tid=890296&extra=page%3D1&page=1

Thx for the reference. Some questions to follow up. When my boy climbs down his chair and run away, should we just pick him up and put him back to his chair without saying much? Is there any better way? Cos we tried to ask him to come back but no use. But our current way seems making him even more reluctant to come back by himself, making him more passive. Heiiii...

I tried to introduce the "clock" method. Surprisingly, he understands the clock quickly. However, he doesn't seem much worried about the reduction of game time afterwards if he meal time overruns. So, we rearrange something like playground time etc., things he likes. But then it seems like we're luring him, teaching him how to bargain with parents at the same time... or weren't we?

Teaching kid is very tricky sometimes.

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1626^#

發表於 08-10-29 22:01 |只看該作者

原文章由 joycelim 於 08-10-29 16:37 發表
Dear Sandra,
Pls help on kids eating habbit. My daughter 3 yrs old. likes eating every much. esp. junk food. The problem is she would approach anybody (including stranger) with snack and then ask for ...

joycelim :

明白你的難處, 這的確是難搞的！
相信你看過之前的一些posts, 知道用讚可以矯正壞行為如發脾氣扭某樣嘢等, 但讚的同時, 都要佢扭唔到先有效, 因如佢扭得到, 佢係乜都唔駛理, 依家你情况就係佢一定會有得食, 而你又唔會control 到其他人, 特別係grandparents；因此, 除非你可以control 到其他人唔好俾junk food 佢, 否則, 什麼讚、講故事/道理, 都係冇用的！
我女細個時, 我都唔俾佢食咁多junk food, 平日屋企一定冇, 其他人俾就「限量」, 婆婆係都要俾嗰陣我係可以同佢反面架, 我講到明邊個送盒糖嚟, 我只會攞起幾粒俾阿女, 其他會俾人, 名符其實係「畫」爛塊面架！

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1627^#

發表於 08-10-29 23:06 |只看該作者

原文章由 Lounda 於 08-10-29 16:48 發表
Thx for the reference. Some questions to follow up. When my boy climbs down his chair and run away, should we just pick him up and put him back to his chair without saying much? Is there any bett ...

Lounda :

其實你最想他縮短吃飯時間抑或是想他自己吃？你要先完成一個目標再到下一個, 那會較容易.
另可否告訴我你怎樣用讚？
Bargain的問題 ~~ 獎用得唔好, 係會變咗罸的……..

明天續！

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Lounda

積分: 280

1628^#

發表於 08-10-30 12:17 |只看該作者

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-10-29 23:06 發表

Lounda :

其實你最想他縮短吃飯時間抑或是想他自己吃？你要先完成一個目標再到下一個, 那會較容易.
另可否告訴我你怎樣用讚？
Bargain的問題 ~~ 獎用得唔好, 係會變咗罸的……..

明天續！ ...

I think to shorten the meal time first as we want him to have his food while everything's hot and fresh.

We praise him e.g. once he started to eat by himself spoon after spoon, and we only praise him that we wouldn't mention his bad moments. When he started to slow down half way through his meal, we would say "you've behaved very well, let's continue..." somethings like that. However, it seems no use. Is this just turning our words into "tum"? But what should we do? Difficult to use "ignore" method here cos he's the quiet one, he just doesn't want to eat anymore.

Hope to hear from you soon!

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1629^#

發表於 08-10-30 23:10 |只看該作者

原文章由 Lounda 於 08-10-30 12:17 發表

I think to shorten the meal time first as we want him to have his food while everything's hot and fresh.

We praise him e.g. once he started to eat by himself spoon after spoon, and we only praise h ...

Lounda :

查實之前俾你個topic講試煮唔同食物、等佢餓d 先食和起先幾次減少份量等佢快d 完成, 你有冇做呢？我對於你是否讚得啱依然未能肯定, 可否告知你用的exact wording ? or 你係同佢講英文的？

“my boy climbs down his chair and run away, should we just pick him up and put him back to his chair without saying much? “
~~ Yes, that’s the best way！

Bargain ~~ 你先睇番呢個 topic 嘅page 54
post #1067, 1071 and 1071 :
http://forum.baby-kingdom.com//viewthread.php?tid=840915&extra=page%3D1&page=54

然後比較下面兩種獎法：
媽：喂快d 食飯啦, 食完就俾你去公園玩！
仔：(食咗幾啖)我唔食啦, 我要去公園！
媽：唔得！食完先准去, 唔係冇得去！
仔：(呆坐中)
媽：嗱你好食啦, 再唔食冇得去架啦！
仔：我飽啦, 我要去公園！我要去公園！
媽：冇呀, 話咗要食完飯先, 一半你都未食完, 凍哂啦, 食都冇益啦, 衰唔衰呀, 垂想去公園, 冇, 冇得去, 你再扭就以後都冇得去！

媽：喂快d 食飯啦, 食完飯我地一齊去公園玩！
仔：(食咗幾啖)我唔食啦, 我要去公園！
媽：我話食完飯我地一齊去喎！
仔：我飽啦, 我要去公園！我要去公園！
媽：唔…媽咪話食完飯一齊去公園, 你都未食完, 食完叫我啦！

當阿仔話要去完公園先食飯時, 你又會点反應呢！

[ 本文章最後由 SandraLo 於 08-10-30 23:13 編輯 ]

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pp819

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發表於 08-10-31 12:28 |只看該作者

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

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1631^#

發表於 08-10-31 12:57 |只看該作者

原文章由 pp819 於 08-10-31 12:28 發表
hi sandra
my son is at the trouble 2 stage (he's now 2yr 2 mth)
here are some of his foul play:
1) throw things (eg toys, paper, pens, etc...) to street
2) we live at high floor, he loves to go up to ...

pp819 :

See the 1st two posts here first :

http://forum.baby-kingdom.com//viewthread.php?tid=1094774&extra=page%3D1

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joycelim

積分: 215

1632^#

發表於 08-10-31 13:12 |只看該作者

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-10-29 22:01 發表
Dear Sandra,

May be this is something to do with her outgoing (not-shameful) characteristic!! Sometimes, other kid didn't want ot share snack to her when she asked, she became violent and snatched away other's snack!!! Grandad told me about this. When I talked to her at night, she would promise me not to snatch away others food. However, bad behaviour continues... In fact I teach her to exchange food with other kids (one way of socialising with others) but another problem arised that she would feel angry when other kids didn't want to take her snacks. So should I stop this idea? But still cannot solve her asking and taking snack behaviour, right?
The key is if she got no offer she would stop asking. So may be I really need to ask my dad and maid to be strictly firm to her and make sure no offer.
Thanks anyway for your analysis.

joycelim :

明白你的難處, 這的確是難搞的！
相信你看過之前的一些posts, 知道用讚可以矯正壞行為如發脾氣扭某樣嘢等, 但讚的同時, 都要佢扭唔到先有效, 因如佢扭得到, 佢係乜都唔駛理, 依家你情况就係佢一定會有得 ...

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fatsin

別墅

積分: 528

1633^#

發表於 08-10-31 15:49 |只看該作者

Hi Sandra,

近日囝囝脾氣好大,唔知關唔關病左一星期後再返學影響,佢日日喊住話唔返學,唔想係學校訓,少少野就放盡喉龍喊,聲都沙埋,我會由得佢喊,叫佢想要乜收左聲先同我講,佢喊住我聽唔到,佢唔會理我,繼續喊,仲係咁跳係咁喊,完全失控,好似完全聽唔到我講乜咁。

之前你係另一個topic都教我用讚方法,佢已無講「我要曳」,但近日又再出現,我得閒讚下佢「嘩bb好乖喎,今日無講我要曳」,佢會即刻回應話「no,我曳,我喊」,我再讚,佢再講,我完全唔知可以點反應。

佢近日又好鐘意用手扮槍shoot人,又鐘意推人,蝦蝦霸霸咁樣,我係佢無做時即刻讚佢無做呢d野,佢又大大聲話「no,我曳,我shhot」,我當我聽唔到,無比反應,但唔知點善後?

我讚佢,佢話no,我可以點呢,我依家係採取當聽唔到,唔比反應佢,其他野照同佢講,但我覺得未必可以解決到問題,想請教,謝謝。

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1634^#

發表於 08-10-31 21:58 |只看該作者

原文章由 fatsin 於 08-10-31 15:49 發表
Hi Sandra,

近日囝囝脾氣好大,唔知關唔關病左一星期後再返學影響,佢日日喊住話唔返學,唔想係學校訓,少少野就放盡喉龍喊,聲都沙埋,我會由得佢喊,叫佢想要乜收左聲先同我講,佢喊住我聽唔到,佢唔會理我,繼續喊,仲係咁 ...

fatsin :

肯定有影響, 一方面是藥物, 另一方面是適應.
我好想知：當佢喊住話唔返學的時候, 你点反應(包括面部表情)同講乜嘢？
佢通常乜嘢時候講呢d 說話？返學前？
佢老師又知唔知佢响屋企係咁？你有冇同老師反映？
推人係推乜嘢人？
我覺得佢做所有呢d 嘢. 都係想唔返學, 為扭而扭, 攞你attention, 所以我要想你反應先！
重有, 你讚時有冇用「獎品」加强效用呢？

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1635^#

發表於 08-10-31 22:26 |只看該作者

原文章由 joycelim 於 08-10-31 13:12 發表
May be this is something to do with her outgoing (not-shameful) characteristic!! Sometimes, other kid didn't want ot share snack to her when she asked, she became violent and snatched away other's snack!!! Grandad told me about this.

joycelim :

我諗幾方面一齊做啦…..
首先响story time 向佢灌輸「己所不欲, 勿施於人」 (你之前作的故事太刻意, 一面倒！) 另外要揾d junk food 冇益嘅故事書同佢講, 要依書直說, 唔好變咗「話」佢！
其次就係約法三章, 同grandparents有共識一日可食多少, 例如只可食兩粒糖, 等佢有心理預備.
當發生「暴力」事件時就要罸naughty chair, 而調轉佢做到你的要求時. 可以用番一d 健康小食如蘋果片等嚟獎番佢；最後當然唔好唔記得响佢冇曳時讚佢, 話佢好乖冇攞人地d 嘢食啦！

[ 本文章最後由 SandraLo 於 08-10-31 22:27 編輯 ]

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fatsin

別墅

積分: 528

1636^#

發表於 08-11-3 14:37 |只看該作者

Hi Sandra,

佢喊住話唔返學時,我會當聽唔到,無反應比佢,同佢繼續講其他野,但佢通常會再講兩三次,我唔理佢佢一陣就唔記得,面部無表情,直情好似佢同空氣講咁。

有同老師反映,老師話係因為適應問題。

你意思係佢近日脾氣大=唔想返學?

佢推人係係返playgroup時,對住其他小朋友,好無家教咁,自己走埋人地到 shoot人同推人,我同爸爸就要同人地家長say sorry。

我有用獎呀,通常會係食野,因為佢最鍾意食野,最初時我讚完佢乖,佢會即刻同我一齊講「我地一齊食..」但依家因為我讚佢時佢會否定佢乖,我根本無機會講「我地一齊食..」

我發覺佢近日好似好反判咁,總之我話東佢就話西,但我同老師講,佢話咁細個唔識反判架喎,佢兩歲8個月,事實是否係咁呢?

好似星期六我地去左濕地公園,本黎都好地地,最後係一個屋仔內睇完雀後,人地要關門,佢係都唔肯走要玩個望遠鏡,我地同佢解釋左,佢完全好似聽唔到係到大喊,我地惟有抱佢出去,出到去就放佢係地到,爸爸話「我知你好乖既,下次再黎過丫」,佢就超大聲話「我曳我曳...」繼續大喊,我同爸爸繼續行左幾步由得佢係後面,佢真係唔行企係到喊,點知後面有一家4口,個媽媽聽到後就同佢講「點解你曳呀,曳就唔啱啦,快d同爸爸講對唔住啦」佢聽到即刻收聲,望住姨姨,姨姨再讚佢話佢無喊,佢就收晒聲,我同爸爸去拖番佢,佢就好乖咁跟住我地行,我地再讚佢同請佢食提子乾。

如果唔係個姨姨,我當時都諗緊應該可以點收科呢?用乜方法好呢?

原文章由 SandraLo 於 08-10-31 21:58 發表

fatsin :

肯定有影響, 一方面是藥物, 另一方面是適應.
我好想知：當佢喊住話唔返學的時候, 你点反應(包括面部表情)同講乜嘢？
佢通常乜嘢時候講呢d 說話？返學前？
佢老師又知唔知佢响屋企係咁？你有冇同老師反映？
推人係推 ...

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冬前

大宅

積分: 1193

1637^#

發表於 08-11-3 15:46 |只看該作者

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冬前

大宅

積分: 1193

1638^#

發表於 08-11-3 15:47 |只看該作者

回覆 #1621 wingwingkam 的文章

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