ronnie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your father's. I might not fully understand your feeling but I could imagine how hard your situation is. C'est la vie! I know that you may not have committed to Jesus Christ but HE is there with you that you may not know. Ask HIM for extra courage, ask HIM for comfort, for miracle.... Call HIS name JESUS to rescue you and you will be rest. You and your father are in my prayers.