bmfapple 發表於 20-9-16 00:07
不經不覺同老公一齊17年有多,由同事變做朋友由朋友變做情侶由情侶變為夫妻由夫妻變為家人由家人變為..工人 ...
當你向老公提供一啲你想實行嘅方案時,例如,想有BB,想置業,想做FTM,等等,佢有冇表態或你有冇要佢表態投 反對,無所謂,贊成 票?
如果佢係無所謂或反對,你有冇問佢點解咁投?
如果佢投贊成,你有冇問佢如何在實行過程中支持你?
如果你當初能套佢畀多啲表態嘅資料,起碼事後佢話係你錯,你都可以拎翻當初佢講過佢會做嘅嘢來同佢對則翻。即使佢唔認,亦可以問佢一啲具有 rectrospective 意義嘅問題或作探討如何改進performance (你和他)嘅內容。例如,如果佢話係你錯,咁就要佢唸下有乜嘢佢下次會嘗試幫你防犯同一錯誤嘅?例如同佢一起回顧:
1. What went wrong?
2. What went well?
3. moving forward, what would be done better?
討論目標不是要誰認錯,而是對事不對人地針對效果來同佢討論。
不過未必人人一開始做回顧就能提供有建設性的檢討內容。好似我前夫,最近同佢回顧經營租客一事。我問佢 moving forward, what would be done better?
佢乜都唸唔到可以點,只是一句:乜都係out of his control.
我真係 畀佢 。慢慢來吧。
Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own ~ H. Jackson Brown