My maid came to work for me in mid Nov (3 months ago). She was a local hire & she requested to go home to attend her daughter's wedding in Dec. I said I could not let her go so quickly, I suggest her to consider going in Jan or Feb & that her daughter postponed her wedding - she has a child & is pregnant again with the same man, the delay does not matter.
I kept discussing about when she should go home. Then I suggested her to go before the chinese new year as I needed her back during the festive season. Meanwhile, her daughter changed the wedding date to late Jan. So I thought this was a mutual decision until yesterday she said I forced her to go home!
Having only worked for me for 1.5 months, she said she did not have enough money for her daughter's wedding & asked me to lend her $4,000 plus her 2 weeks salary for Jan which was not due till she came back on Jan 31. Rationally, I did not want to lend her any money at all. I, being a new employer, is not responsible for her family matters. Besides, she has worked in HK for 15 years, why hasn't she saved some money! In the end, I lent her the money.
She did come back as promised. Yesterday, I told her 3 things I wanted her to improve - I did not scold her, I just told her firmly.
1. I asked her to take my son to brush his teeth every morning for a few times. One morning at 11am, my son still has not done it. That was not the first time. She said she asked many times but my son still did not want to.
2. One night I asked her to bath my son & peed before he drank milk & slept. When she came out of my son's room with an empty bottle, she said my son was too tired, he fell asleep. She didn't insist because I had guests in my house that night & didn't want to make my son cry.
3. I bought 2 big radish to make a dish one night treating my friends for dinner. She was the one to cook it. She saved half a radish up for the following night (when I have other food). I asked her why. She said she thought that was too much radish. I told her, it was my call to decide how much to cook for my visitors. I'd rather cook more than not having enough food to treat.
4. She cried each time I talked to her about her work - twice in 3 months. She is forty something. Why can't she accept her boss' comment!? She always puts up excuses. She said she was not happy because she heard other Philippino maid saying I liked her younger sister more than her (I hired both working together), then she cried! Damn, can't I like one more than the other!?
5. I am not happy with her poor english - open/close the water/light, always uses he for she, him for her & vice versa (I have 1 boy & 1 girl, when she mixes up the pronouns, I think she is talking about my girl when she is referring to my son. I have to figure it out later by myself). I know I cannot ask her to change overnight.....
6. She seldom addresses me as madam when she speaks. She just opens her mouth & talks whether I am facing her or doing something else. So I often miss what she says in the beginning especially given her not-so-clear english! Damn....
after reading your story, i think the concern should not be placed on your maid but yourself instead. I,also have similar problems (except that my child will not be due until next month) with my newly hired maid. I would ask myself if i can tolerate her behaviour instead of asking why she cant take boss comments or why she cant improve. It makes thing simple and under control of my hand, if i cant tolerate her, then i find a new maid lor.
for money issues, its your call to decide whether you want to lend her the $$ or not and since you did, i assume you did it out of your own conscious so no need to express unhappiness (not sure if its the right wording cos i feel you were unhappy to lend her the $$ when you said, shes been here for 15 years and why doesnt she saved her own money).
my maid also give me lots of excuses, in fact, everytime she did something wrong, theres an excuses. I told her that its ok to make mistakes but NOT ok to make excuses and if she is not happy for watever reason, she can come and address the issue to me OR she cant resign from my home cos I do not think i need or that i am capable to CONSTANTLY pay attention to her emotions.
as far as english level wise, i think maybe you both have to be more lenient cos english is not her mother tongue.
Re no. 5, i personally will not accept tat, i will tell her straight into her face and ask her to address me before speaking to me.
i hope this does not offend you in any case, just my 2 cents.
spellinbee & birdbird,
Thanks for responding. I left the message this morning just to express my feeling. There is no solution to the problem, except to take it or leave it (keep her or fire her). I have not spelt out everything about her that I find irritating. If she does not improve, she needs not improve anymore.
Mummy,
What a "姊妹同心, 整鑊你金" :mrgreen: !
The younger sister is really quite good. She cooks well (though she worked in HK for only 2 years, she learnt the chinese cooking from a por-por). She takes good care of my younger daughter & she knows how to set limits for my son - she won't be manipulated like her elder sister.
Though it is a bit early to say, I think I won't renew contract with the elder sister to control the damage - my son learns some Philippino-Cantonese accent & tone from her & her english is horrible!
"tin ah"! My maid dipped the radish cake ("law-bart-go") into egg to pan fry!!!!! 15 years working in HK! She did it without the egg the first time she cooked for me. How come she totally forgot what to do. This is the problem I have with her. If u teach somebody something & she does it right the first time, u expect she has learnt it & u don't have to teach her again! Do I need to hire somebody to supervise her!