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別墅

積分: 521


發表於 04-4-17 21:38 |顯示全部帖子

My mom!

我因為大肚,.加上曾小產,my mom 住到我O企照顧我,她非常關心我和cook for me,這點我非常感激!但是因為she has very strong character and likes to control everything. It also makes me very upset.

For example, I am so afraid of holidays now. 放假時,我和老公會和我奶奶一起出去飲茶or 酒樓. Becasue my mom is now with me, so she will go with me and there are 2 times, my husband's brother's or sister's family went with us. But because my husband is the eldest son and we don't live with my 奶奶 so he pay the bills. My mom was very mad about this. She asked 我點解次次都我老公, 因此my mom now tried not to let me go outside whenever we want to bring her to go out for dinner or we want to go out with my 奶奶.

She always say we need to save money. And she is afraid that my husband and me are too nice to others so she keeps her eyes for me. Last night, it was raining, we were thinking of driving a friend home on the way we go home, but she would say why we should do that.

In the dining table, she will say that you will have to eat this or eat that. When you watch TV, she will say you have to go to sleep. Every time when I talk to someone over the phone, she will ask who called and wants to know all the stories.

I have a small business with my partner and I am now taking a leave so my partner takes most of the responsiblities. My mom also wants to know everything about my business. My husband says that I should keep silent not to let her know my things too details. Otherwise she always treats me as a child. In fact, I didn't live her for a long time. Even before my marriage, I studied and lived outside of my family after the age of 15.

The problem is not me but her strong character. She had a very usual life from young to old. She was so poor when she was young and became a sucessful business woman but failed and succeed again and again. And turned to lose everything at the end. She always wants to have her wealth back. She now didn't have any good friends, she didn't play 麻雀, and she didn't have any leasure activites. She only likes to go to stock market or buy lottery. " Lose " is the last word in her dictionary. This character makes all our realtives admires her for her strongness but afraid of being with her also for that.

My father was under her control for all his life till he died. My father likes friends but she didn't like my father to have many friends and she is so unfriendly to his friends. Please note my father's friends are not bad guys.

In my mon's eyes, the most important thing is money. I have a part time maid, and she goes my house once a week. Every time she left, my mom would complain about her. And she will wash all the dishes again and tell me that she is doing much better and it is not worthwhile to hire a maid especially she is afraid that I will hire a full time when I give birth to my bb. I know that she wants to prove her is still very capable and every body knows this.

My sister-in-law does not have good relation with my mom. So my mom never calls them even on the grandchildren's birthday. only my brother calls her. And they only meets maybe 3 or 4 times a year. She is living with my sister, but my sister now is very happy because she says that now she is free and could go out with friends.

But I found that I am so depressed and I don't know how to let my mother know that I am old enough and leave me alone not to control everything and my husband is afraid of her and didn't want to stay home. Because he says he didn't know if he offend her or not.

I really felt so bad and even go to Park'n shop with her. She will compare everything in 1 or 2 dollars and she will ask my husband if he get receipt for the free parking no matter where we go. I told her my husband earns most of our living and please leave him alone. Then, she will say if my husband gave his mother secret money. And I told her it is not her business and I gave you secret money too.

Nobody will believe that she is now 74. And still so energetic and looks young. But I felt that I am much like a old woman who didn't know how to solve the relationship with her. My husband sometimes say me is 愚孝.

我知好難改善, just complain. Thanks for reading my message for I am going crazy today!


:-x


禁止訪問

積分: 1163


發表於 04-4-17 23:30 |顯示全部帖子

Re: My mom!

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除 內容自動屏蔽


大宅

積分: 2052


發表於 04-4-17 23:40 |顯示全部帖子

Re: My mom!

樹欲靜而風不息,子欲養而親不在 -- 切記

真的,自從我生左囡囡之後,呢句說話經常係我腦海出現,因為我覺得呢個世界上,媽咪真係最鍚自己的人,縱使囉唆,長氣等等....都冇人個人比佢更加關心自己,請珍惜。


象牙宮

積分: 203135

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發表於 04-4-18 00:20 |顯示全部帖子

Re: My mom!

媽咪關心仔女係正常,如果你覺得佢過份管制,可以同佢傾吓,我媽咪好少理我D嘢,不過都算煩氣個隻,通常我都會叫佢"唔好咁煩啦!"


別墅

積分: 521


發表於 04-4-19 10:45 |顯示全部帖子

Re: My mom!

Hi! Posemom, tam and stkyo,

Thanks for your understanding. I talked to her this morning and I mentioned that we haven't really lived together for a long time. I will not bother her and please don't treat me as child too. And I also said if she didn't like to see my friend or my husband's family, I will ask her everytime when we go out.

The reason why I have talked to her about this is because last night we had a big fight.

1. I had a girl friend visited me and we had dinner " outside" so she is very unpleasant at first. And it was late, so my husband drived my friend to KTR station. You can't believe that my mom came to my room and said that why my husband needs to drive her to KTR. And say that I should keep my eye on my husband and don't creat any chance for my friend. Is she mad?

2. And she started to complain that she didn't like to go out with my husband's family. And I said but we used to go out on holidays. And she said, " you can go out without me and don't worry that I will not steal any thing from you".

This is my mom. She has the tendency to make people go crazy. So that's why my brother is afraid of her.

I know that she cares about me and my sister and brother very much. But sometimes, 好心作壞事!

I am always thinking these days, if I can't fix the relaionship with my mom, how can I have the confidence to raise my child.


民房

積分: 77


發表於 04-4-19 18:55 |顯示全部帖子

Re: My mom!

聽你咁講, 我覺得你媽咪好無安全感, 除了仔女之外個個都係衰人, 個個都係立心不良, 佢咪無物朋友, 如果係咁佢咪好孤獨!
你今朝咁同佢講佢有咩反應?


別墅

積分: 521


發表於 04-4-19 19:43 |顯示全部帖子

Re: My mom!

Yes, she is so lonely and poor because she has different 價值觀.

She tried to please me today. And I know that she didn't know how to react. I am also 軟化. So I tried to nice to her. But I know it is not easy to solve it. 老公話我同我家姐都是幫兇 that make her like this. And on and off all the time.

But it is so difficult for her to open her heart to some one else. She really didn't have close friends or relatives. We don't know how to help her. But she is more relied on my sis and me and we are having much much argument with her.

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