You are her employer, right. So, all depends on your decision. In my opinion, I am not for people who let their domestic helper have dinner on the same table with them.
I give my helper $400 (I think the law requires $300 only) per month for food allowance. She eats her own food in her room as I find it strange to eat with my husband and her on the same table. It's different if you have a baby that she needs to feed. Also, when u feel like eating expensive food at home, u don't have to worry about sharing with her.
I agreed with ballpen.
3 years ago when my Indonesia maid came, I didn't know the way to treat her. But I stood on her side thinking and felt that she was pretty pitiful. I even didn't want her to eat in the kitchen but my husband stopped me at that time.
Today, our relationship is not good day after day as she usually told lies and demaged my clothes. So I feel lucky that I didn't let her dining with us. Else, I don't know how to talk to her about my new rule.
my maid also eat in kitchen and I will do the distribution of food. At the first beginning, i let her take the food, soon we found the problem come as she took all kind of food and some was good part like chicken. So I stopped this at once and asked her to take out all the food on the table and I will give her whatever I want except pork. so far ok for eating problem. She did not eat the leftover food at the beginning, now is much better, of course not very happy to take it.
for both meals, my maid eats in the kitchen and I allocate the food to her. No choice. We usually have dinner at home so she will eat the same as ours. However, for day time she will eat the leftover and so far no problems. My agent told me that if possible, do not give money to maid to eat outside , first the amount of money according to the contract is not enough to cover one meal in HK and second and most important of all dont give reasons for maid to go outside very often ; otherwise they will become bad more easily.