老公好偉大
老公為了這個 囡細老婆嫩,上有高堂要照顧的家 真系負出左好多,好多。除了做一般全職媽媽做的事情外,仲理財,埋數,埋單,理車,修屋,報稅,理保險,倒垃圾,洗廁所,做家務,做司機,帶囡看醫生,Take care a special need child and home school ... People say he is a supper Dad.
做老婆的我,只是打一份工,生囡 同喂囡。 反而承受唔到工作上的壓力,一有壓力就盤撇。 向老公發涉 話: 有衝動 唔打工。心想推動老公揾份工打。明知老公現時唔能夠揾份養到家的工作。又唔得同時 公一份,婆一份咁,因無人能照顧細路。 好茅盾。
你地D 揾錢養家的,可否指教如何正視這個揾錢養家的積責呢?幫我好好的從新投入我的工作呢?
謝謝!
謝謝帶出另外的一點。
這一點使我想起了80 年代的 女強人 的稱號。我那時也真係唔明,同一樣野由男人做就好地地,女人做叫女強人. 咁 男強人比比皆是。但我從來沒聽過 男強人 這稱號的。 那女強人 的稱號是否對女性的岐視呢?
This is a different point here, I have already heard so many Great Moms and Supper Moms, but Great Dad and Supper Dad is wearer. Don't these Great Dads and Supper Dads deserve applause?
我的焦點分別在:是的,Great Moms and Supper Moms 可能比比皆是,偉大的母親也耳熟能頌。當真有偉大的爸爸時,難道不值得因 他們的貢獻而鼓掌和加以勉勵嗎?
再舉我老公為例:
他不止於在做那些“由女人做的同一樣野,”連男人做的也都做了。他不單主內,還主外。Yes, he is an out of tradition and exceptional great Dad.
我所有收入(人工+花紅)全部交給老公管理。因為我老公對錢財冷靜的性情比我適合理財政。佢可以見到下月頭唔夠錢交水電,垃圾費...等生活基本費,依然唔會騰雞,唔會憂慮咁嘅。真系一副天跌落來當被kum 咁嘅款wor。我最好不聞不問。唔知點解道時到後佢又搞妥了。事實話我知,跟佢一起生活十幾年,從沒缺乏。家庭人口隨著歲月增長,要換大一點的地方住時,佢又有辦法揾到大屋搬。仲有辦法安排我父母另外住開在赴近,照顧兩頭家,分配給他們額外的生活開支。
當我鼓勵他說:“老公,我對你有信心!”他還教我說:“不要對我有信心。對神有信心吧".
我老公為了孩子們的益處,曾對我說,即使佢揾的錢無我咁多,但只要夠養家,佢都希望我可以放心遲職做我想做的全職媽媽,如果我不同意,咁佢會唔打工揾錢而留家做全職家庭主男和湊仔佬。He would sacrifice his career for our children. 我覺得,在男人中他對家庭的付出是少有的。
我們的弟二個女兒還有發展遲緩的腦癱症,加上癲癇症 (seizure disorder)。我們一直把她帶在身邊,從沒請工人或送出去給人湊。2女已有27 磅重,都是我老公抬出抬入,到處奔波尋求醫治。後尾還托著未夠年齡入學的大女兒跟出根入。3父女奔波到汗流滿身。其實已分不出是汗還是淚了。
在家的時候,老公一邊煮飯,一邊教大女兒一年級的課程。We call it home school.
….. 還有好多好多…….有機會再發表……
是的,renren 說得真的有這:女人也有付出很大的。我也曾3次大住個肚番工,腳踵面踵,承受生產時極度痛楚,產後生材走樣,流走鈣質,荷爾蒙一下子大兜亂,患上產後抑鬱......,我連產前都患上抑鬱。
但是,這都沒有改變我看我老公,他依然是我偉大的好老公。相信我女兒們長大後也知道她們有個Supper Dad.
And we are proud of him. 我們一家以他為榮。
我看我老公為偉大是一回事。我很想做一個全職家庭主婦是另一回事。
謝謝!
還有沒有對全職家庭主男的好評語的分享呢?
I am so touched when I saw your case. Your husband is really a good man, he could really sacrifice his career and personal time for his family.
I am a full-time mother with 2 kids, I have also 1 helper to helper me out. I still complained sometimes without freedom and bored. I feel very ashamed! :cry:
On the other hand, I sense that you also have pressure from both work and family? Have you tried domestic helper and both of you can work?
vonr,
Thank you very much for your words. Here are my thoughts to your questions.
"On the other hand, I sense that you also have pressure from both work and family?"
Yes, your point is very correct to my case. I want to be able to handle these double stresses well. Definitely there is no one's fault because it is out of our control. We made our best decision in this situation according to our priority. After basic life style has been fulfilled, children's benefits come first, such as one of the parents stay home with them.
“Have you tried domestic helper and both of you can work?”
No, we have not tried this. We choose not both of us to work away from home when our children still young especially to our special need daughter. We are not poor that need both incomes to keep up our standard basic living style. Surely, my only one income is not enough for any domestic helper to lighten my husband’s heavy and handful of household works. Even though it make easy on my husband’s shoulder if he work away from home and use his income to get a domestic helper, he would not do it just to think about how much we lose by giving up raise our children to a stranger’s hand with a different values of life and more and let the stranger to influence our children.
Sometimes, it is hard to follow my husband’s choice, but I respect him very much. And deep down I know, he, as a head of household, is making a right decision for our family.
May all stay home Dads get support and respect from family, relatives and friends.
Hurray to those stay home husbands...really, I vote for them! It's just a little more natural for women or mothers to do that, but definitely not a natural and easy thing for a man to. A SHF will face all sorts of criticisms as you all mentioned. I really like what it's like in other foreign countries, like US or Australia, where it's just normal to have SHFs. The working wives sometimes will also have big eyes and envy when they found out a SHF, and a good one. Really sometimes the men can do even a better job, if they put the efforts. They tend to do things more systematically and logically, so maybe that's a good thing to educate our kids too. But surely it all requires so much patience and big love. ndw, I realize your hb is a great one, who can volunteer to sacrifice his career, and be prepared to face all these challenges! Cheers!